Tag Archives: Happiness

How to Stay Positive When You’re Brokenhearted

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Today was hard. It is the anniversary of Chase Varney’s death today and it sucks. He was only a high school, senior. My son will be a senior next year. This is too close to my heart and I adore and admire his mother and I can only imagine what she is feeling right now. Heart broken.

I felt paralyzed and helpless. I felt anger and sadness and loneliness. I felt compassion and frustration and helplessness. I also felt grateful and guilty. I felt present and short-tempered and nervously laughed a lot. I was anxious.

I am not in control and I feel vulnerable and fearful and sad and mad all at the same time.

How is one supposed to be positive when you’re dealing with such negative feelings?

This is what we need to learn to do. We need to learn to carry on, despite the S*(#.  We need to teach our kids and ourselves that we are going to face ugly moments and days and we can get through them. We don’t have to be perfect. It’s okay to be sad. We get to choose how to deal with the bad things, just as we know how to deal with the good things.  When we make bad choices, we can recover. One bad choice does not define us and this too shall pass. It’s okay to mess up. We’re all still learning. Do our kids really know this? Do they know how to make mistakes? I don’t know for sure, but I’m hoping we teach them to fail and to be resilient.

No one thing or event defines all of us. We can be broken and we can start again. We can be forgiven and we can rebuild. We have to be kind to ourselves and allow the pain to just be without feeding it.

I just ate an entire chocolate bar. I am feeling it. I am lost.

I don’t have to have all the answers and it’s okay to cry my eyes out. I did that tonight. I yelled tonight too. I’m so frustrated.

And then I wiped away my tears, and said enough. I didn’t want to cry the rest of the night. I was crying that ugly cry and it felt good to let it out and I don’t like to lose self control and to cry like that.

Charlie asked if I wanted to hear a good story. Thank God for the littles. I said yes, please. Lift me up and share something good because I am so sad right now. And he did.

He told me how he won a raffle prize tonight for wearing his shirt. Another new kid forgot to wear his member-shirt and this was his first year participating. Charlie chose to give his prize to the new kid and made his night. Seriously? He knows compassion already and to be self-less? Good job, Charlie boy. I am proud of you. You’re getting the meaning behind this life circus. I am proud of you and this story was just the right one I needed to hear tonight. Thank you for this precious gift. Thank you for being you, kind and loving and compassionate.

I smiled. I cried. I smiled again.

We are all a little broken. Let’s choose to take care of each other. Let’s choose to forgive others and ourselves and to offer do-overs and compassion. Let’s support one another and lift each other up.

And just maybe we’ll get through this life happily ever after together.

nAMaste

p.s. These little gifts brought light and warmth to me today, still a year later. Thank you Elizabeth and ML for your gifts of friendship. I love you.


The Good Life Quilt

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What if we could stitch a quilt of love between us?

What if we could take the values that give our life meaning and stitch them together and create a warm blanket to share?

What would you include in this quilt?  Would we all include the same things?

I would weave the common good, courage, justice, love, peace, kindness, truth, compassion, fairness, tolerance, acceptance, hope, freedom, passion, creativity, integration, justice, and connection.

  
What values would you add?

What would be the purpose of this Good Life Quilt?

I think having one would provide us warmth and something to share. It’s colors and diversity and patterns would be woven together and give us something beautiful to touch and to see and to build together.

When Charlie was born, he almost died. We were filled with fear and did not know what was wrong with him for 6, agonizing days.  We had no idea whether he would live or not  We had no control. And we just had to wait and watch and pray. We were scared and it was a very lonely feeling, even though there were so many that wanted to help us. One thing that provided comfort in the sterile intensive care unit, was a handmade quilt inside his bed. I wondered where it came from and why it was there. It was stitched by a volunteer group who gave of their time and their talents and added warmth and color and a sense of home to his little bassinet. It felt like a warm hug and provided hope of normalcy, that one day he’d be in a cozy bed in our home. Dreams do come true.

May you be covered with a Good Life Quilt and stay warm and loved.

nAMaste

Cat Naps

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These two inspired me today. 

I enjoyed seeing them snuggled together, resting and just doing nothing in the middle of the day.

I decided to do the same. I finished doing my chores and then just laid on the couch, relaxing and opening my eyes when someone walked in the room and then stretching a bit and closing my eyes again.

It’s been a very busy week and it felt good to slow down for a bit today. 

Cat naps are good for the soul.

Did you rest today?

See One Another

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We all live under this one big sky and it’s a beautiful thing.

The next person you come in contact with, really see them. Say hello and acknowledge their presence, even if they are a little weird or different than you. We are all weird. 

Be curious . Don’t be afraid. We all are the same on the inside.

This world needs more love and acceptance. We can make the difference by loving everyone we meet, from within our hearts, through our actions and with our intentions. Go ahead and smile first. Strike up a conversation. It’s so easy. You can make a difference just by being you.

Oregon – I wish you peace and am so sad and angry that so many lives were sacrificed and harmed because someone didn’t think they were enough today. I am so sorry for your unexplainable loss. 

You are enough, BeLoveRs. 

nAMaste.

Rooted

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What makes you feel rooted?

What makes you feel established and firmly grounded?

Where is your place, where you feel you belong?

I think growing older is a beautiful thing because I can feel myself more rooted in knowing who I am and what is important to me. These 2 things guide my daily choices, decisions and reactions to life’s daily events, opportunities, changes and challenges.

I am continuously learning and practicing (and failing) and connecting to all that is good and letting go of all that troubles me to live the best life possible, every day, moment to moment. I know this sounds dorky, but it’s true. It’s how I think and it works for me.

I wish the same for you, that you feel rooted and loved and valued and connected to this good life and to one another.
One Love.
nAMaste.

Create Space

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I’m loving the idea of creating space.

What does this mean to you?

Can you create space between your breathes?  In yoga today, at the end of our practice, Melissa had us take a deep breathe in and hold it. She then told us to breathe in a little more and hold it. And to do it once again. As we held our breathe and were thinking we were out of space in our lungs, we found more 3 times. We created more space and filled it with deep, full breathes and then let it all out. This felt so good.

We also used our breathe to stretch into a deeper stretch with each exhale. We closed the space to go deeper.

What about white space? Cassie has been using a white canvas to create space to display the things she discovers each day. In creating a clean, repeatable space, we her audience anticipate what she will find and present in this beautiful, simple space.

Here’s an example of her beautifully filled, magical space:  http://www.cassiacogger.com/blog/2015/9/26/on-magic-and-participation

Do you need more closet space? Try reading the Marie Kondo book to learn about the importance of creating meaningful and tidy spaces. You can find it on Amazon: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing

What about space in your relationships? Are you giving your partner and/or yourself some breathing room? Togetherness is a wonderful thing, but so is time alone to do what you love and to be who you want to be. I’ve noticed that when I create and give space, intimacy fills it. When I try to fill the space by being too needy or demanding, the space becomes like a vacuum and connections are lost. This one is the most fascinating to me. It represents so clearly the push and pull we feel everyday, that yin and yang of tensions and desires.

How about at the end of the day? Do you leave space and time to unwind? Do you create space to snuggle with your kids or partner or pets instead of doing one more chore or checking one more email? I was resisting and practicing this one tonight. I so wanted to do the dishes and get the coffee ready, instead of indulging in snuggles and conversation. I wanted to get stuff done. I didn’t want to snuggle, yet I opened the space to the opportunity that presented itself and the space and love connection grew. I made the right choice, even though I struggled to give in to the calling. Love the little mentors in my life.

Can you do nothing? Can you sit still and allow yourself to be present and to just close your eyes and BE in the space you’re in without any expectations or worry? Sounds easy, but it’s not. Go ahead, try it. See where your mind goes and try to bring it back to the present moment again.

Enjoy the thought of creating your own space. What does it look like? What does it feel like? You get to choose. Just do it.

 nAMaste

Youth Sports

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Sometimes I love them and sometimes I despise how much time they take. Don’t get me wrong. I want my kids to play and be active and to be part of a team and I love watching them. 

I want all the benefits and yet sometimes the work (hours of practices and games and driving all around and interruptions and managing logistics and uniforms) makes me want to throw in the towel.

Although tonight, I was so into the game and the action and watching Juliana’s team gel and work together and play well as a team. I was jumping out of my seat with excitement and cheering and enjoying being in the moment. I loved watching them go from playing conservatively, to full on dominating the game with assertiveness. I am thankful that she is dedicated and working hard and learning and growing and loving it. I am thankful that I was able to be there, to observe and to share in her moment on a gorgeous fall evening and that sports are a big part of our family experience.

  
I love sports and I love athleticism and I know that it’s all worth it. I am reminded that usually what brings us joy requires work and dedication and determination.

It’s all worth it.

nAMaste

Mentors

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Everyone should have at least one mentor, preferably at each life stage, as we are learning and navigating our chosen paths.  I have had many and have several now too. When I think of each one, I smile because of the fond memories and experiences we have shared.

We are human. We learn from and mimick each other, which is why I think it’s important for us to have people that we look up to and admire and who provide us with examples of how we want to live and practice being who we are. 

Knowledge is easily transferred from the one who knows and has wisdom and the one who is learning and back again. We shape each other, and that’s a beautiful thing. Choose wisely with whom you surround yourself and share your time.

  
Who are you some of your mentors and what are you learning?  Who do you admire and for whom are you grateful. Tell them. 🙂

nAMaste