Keep spreading the love, one BIG smile at a time.
This is my small, home office, viewed from my couch after work, where I work from home.
I am enjoying seeing it from a different perspective, after dinner and dishes, just relaxing and doing nothing while the day light turns to night. I haven’t turned on the lights yet and like watching and feeling the transition of time changing and passing, but now it’s starting to get too dark and it feels weird to sit in the darkness.
Let there be light.
When I illuminated my messy desk, I noticed that love surrounds me that I didn’t notice before. There is a heart shaped stand that holds a picture of my family. There is a glass blown heart that I received on a trip to Cabo with my BFF and there is a heart shaped frame holding a picture of me and my honey. I like this space, and like it even more now that I am seeing it from a different perspective.
What does your space look and feel like? Do you like the place where you spend many of your waking hours? What can you do to make it enjoyable?
Where did you see love today?
Where did you feel love?
How did you give love?
My husband chose to go for an evening walk with me after work today and I stopped when I saw love on this tree.
My daughter showered me with love when she chose to sort and fold the laundry, while I was out on my date with her daddy.
I loved Charlie today when I took him to get vaccine shots. I made him happy when he asked me to take him for sushi as his reward, instead of ice cream as I had planned.
Today flowed and I loved it, even for a Monday.
How was you (Mon)day, honey?
Are you good at asking for what you want?
Maybe you want a raise. Maybe you want some thing. And maybe you want time to spend with some one. Or maybe you need help.
Are you afraid to ask? Are you able to ask freely and do you get what you need?
I am afraid to ask.
I don’t like to ask for help.
I don’t like to ask for things.
I don’t like to ask for attention.
But I need help. I need things. And I need to spend time with my friends and loved ones.
For some reason, I struggle with asking and feel vulnerable. I also don’t want to inconvenience others, but I need others. Why is it so hard to ask?
Sometimes my needs are greater than other days and instead of asking, I beat around the bush. I hint. I suggest. Or I demand, which isn’t so nice. Sometimes I’m indirect or act like a martyr or even expect others to read my mind. Not proud, but true. I am still learning and practicing.
Last weekend, I wanted my husband to pay attention to me. I wanted him to want to do something with me, besides driving the kids to sports or cleaning up the house. I wanted him to want me more than I particularly wanted anything and I didn’t care what we did. I just wanted the BIG A. Attention. I hate when I get like that. It’s not like he doesn’t want to give me A, he just isn’t always reading my mind or thinking the same thing as I am. Confusing, right? I know.
So I blew it. I wasn’t nice and I couldn’t come up with a sweet suggestion, like, “Hey, do you want to go for a walk together?” or “Hey, do you think you might like to go for a drive, or shopping for a new couch today?” That would be asking, and I don’t feel comfortable asking for attention. Instead, it came out all wrong. It came out as an attack, like, “WHY DON’T YOU WANT TO DO ANYTHING WITH ME??” and I think he thought I was crazy. He was probably right. But of course I thought he was wrong. My entire delivery was wrong, and I messed up things and caused a big argument. And arguments are not the kind of attention or connection I crave.
It took me a little while to figure it out. Struggles are like that when you’re in them. I realized if I had just asked, he probably would have obliged. I didn’t want to ask. I wanted him to ask, but that wasn’t even on his mind and wasn’t what he needed. Why did I expect him to want the same things I wanted? If I had listened to what he wanted to do, I might have been more open-minded. But I wasn’t. I decided to practice this life moment the hard way. I don’t recommend it. 😉
Luckily I have a great, life partner, who actually gets me, just not always in the moment. Heck, I don’t always understand my self in those moments either. I was able to calm down and apologize and he was able to tell me I should probably ask a little differently and reminded me how much he loved me. And all was well in the world again. I’m still learning… how to ask. Gosh, I thought this would be easy by now! 🙂