Our Gifts

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We all have so many gifts and the best part is when we know what they actually are.

If I asked you off the top of your head without much filtering and overthinking, what are the 5 gifts you bring to this world, what would your response be?

What are you good at? And not just your work, but what makes you smile and others around you happy?

Hmm… what would mine be? I’ll try…

1. I’m loving. I love who I am and I love who I am with and I have lots of love to give.

2. I’m funny. I don’t take life too seriously, not that it isn’t serious but I love to laugh and to be silly.

3. I have a childlike sense of curiosity and wonder and love to play.

4. I love people and want to know their story. I’m genuinely curious about everyone and want to know why you think the way you do and what makes you, you.

5. I am quick to forgive. I don’t hold grudges because I’d rather have a connection than a conflict any day.

Your turn.

This morning I received a gift from my friend Jen. She reads my blog and sometimes sends me emails when something resonates with her. I love when you guys do that. She invited me to attend a conference with her and sent me an image she thought I would like. I loved it so much that I want to share it with you too. Thank you Jen! You made my day.

In case you can’t read it, it says:

“I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth, of light, and of peace. When you are in that place in you, I am in that place in me. We are one.”

Namaste BeLoveRs. Now go think about your gifts and celebrate wonderful you! xo

21Dec2014

Favorite Time of the Day

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What is your favorite time of the day?

When do you feel most alive and happy?

My favorite time is the beginning and the end.

I love waking up in the morning and most days I don’t care what time I’m awake. I typically wake up before my alarm, anticipating and feeling excited about enjoying my first cup of coffee. I think what I love most about it is the ritual, the shared experience and the warmth that comes from drinking it with my husband. He is the one who typically makes us coffee every day and I truly appreciate him doing this for me. Seriously, I am happy with the little things like someone making me coffee.

My second favorite part of my day is when I climb into bed at night. I love the feeling of the comfort that all is well and settled and I am done. I get to be still and quiet and reflect on my day before I write, which I truly enjoy. I love that I have someone to snuggle up next to and rest with until I get to repeat my favorite parts again the next day.

I love that my day begins and ends with my husband. I guess both parts are similar – anticipation, ritual, shared experience and warmth – just in different forms. These are a few of my favorite things.

Your turn. What do you love about your days? I hope your days are filled with love. Namaste.

15Dec2014

Here I Am Slowing Down

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It’s the craziest time of the year and instead of doing what I thought I would be doing, my plans have been scrambled.

I laid in bed with my baby girl and catered to her needs all day, administering medicine and eye drops every half hour to help her eye heal from her accident yesterday. I took her to the eye doctor and cried when I saw that she could see the eye chart letters. She will see again. I can endure and wait.

I have been sitting and waiting and praying for healing. This is what I can do. I can just be with her and wait patiently and care for her by the hour. This is in my control. Everything else is not.

Playing with her hair is what made me happy and knowing that she wanted me by her side all day, to give her sips of water, food and medicine and to be her eyes provided us both comfort as we waited with fear and anticipation.

Tomorrow we will do the same. We will sit and rest and wait for healing. We will let everything else go and catch up when we can again. This is our priority now. And the busiest time just became the slowest time. Whatever. It’ll all work out. It always does.

I wish you good health and peace and love and light. This is what the season is about anyway.

Namaste.

11Dec2014

Puppy Love

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I’ve saved this thought for awhile and today I thought I’d share a new word with you that represents a sort of puppy love.

It’s kind of embarrassing and I wasn’t sure I’d ever share it, but it makes me laugh every time I think of the term.

The word is Wuppy.

A wuppy is like a wife and puppy combined to make a wuppy.

I Am a wuppy. There. I said it. A wuppy. What a funny word.

I Am a wife and kind of like a puppy combined.

I’ll explain. Think of a puppy. They’re so cute and loving and just so happy to see you and want to play and like to go for walks and need lots of attention. They want to kiss you and wrap their body around your legs and wag their tail to show you how happy they are. They look up to their owner like they are the best thing on the planet and are so loyal. And sometimes they bark and make mistakes and messes too. Let’s just keep it real.

This is what I feel like inside. I have all this energy and excitement and I wait for my husband to come home every day. Not exactly 100% like that, but you know what I mean. I am always busy, but I love to see his face and jump up and down and get excited like a puppy when he arrives back home again. Seriously. Not even kidding.

I probably drive him crazy. Well, I did for several years, until he realized that I just love him unconditionally and am so happy to see him every time, like it’s the first time we ever met and this is my normal. This is weird. I know. But I do. I am a lucky dog!

I am so thankful that he goes to work every day and provides for our family and allows me to live out my dream, that I just feel utterly happy, grateful and thankful. Without him, I couldn’t be who I am. He commutes in Silicon Valley traffic and works long hours every day. I don’t.

I get to be home with our kids. I get to make dinners and coach the kids and get them where they need to go, in sickness and in health. He enables me to be the best I can be and for that I am ever so thankful, every day, although I probably don’t tell him this enough. I get to build community and volunteer and exercise and keep our home running efficiently during the hours he’s gone at work, working for the good of our family. Just like him. For this, I am thankful and fulfilled. I am living my dream, thanks to my life partner.

And tonight I just want to acknowledge him as it’s his birthday. I am thankful that he was born and that he chose me to be his wife and to share kids and our life together, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad.

Every day.

I am thankful.

It doesn’t get much better than this.

I love you Jeff. Happy Birthday. And many, many more.

Woof.

25Nov2014

I Am White

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

I am white, privileged they say. I am so much more than my skin color and so are you. I never refer to myself as white except on forms, and it’s uncomfortable to me to talk about race because I prefer to think of us all as humans, part of the human race.

I think I was the only white girl in my yoga class today in Silicon Valley. I was aware of our differences and being a minority, but this is normal to me where I live as there are 26 different languages spoken at the homes of the children in our local school.

At the end of our class, our teacher asked all 20+ of to sit in a circle. As it’s the week of Thanksgiving, she wanted us to take a moment to say our name and introduce ourselves to one another and share one thing we are thankful for. There were people of Chinese, Japanese, Mexican, Indian,and European descents, that I could recognize and I’m sure there were more.

As we went around the circle, several names I cannot remember as they are different from the names I am familiar with and have never heard before. What was the same between us though, were our gifts of gratitude. We all expressed thanks for similar things such as family, health, love, our work, our beautiful lives and being present and thankful for our yoga class and instructor.

I Am privileged because I was surrounded by all these wonderful people who are different than me and yet we are the same. I felt a connection in our little, diverse yoga community. I see these people every week, but we don’t usually speak to one another, as it’s a one hour yoga class and I do not know the others. Sitting in this circle and sharing something about ourselves made a connection for me and for this I was thankful.

I Am in love with humanity and all that is good in all of us.

I Am sad for all who are in pain and suffering, and especially those in Ferguson.

Love sees no color.

We all want the same things and we need to do the work to create the things we love. I want us all to be on the same team.

I Am sad that there are inequalities and unfairness in the world.

I was listening to Dj Boogie D from St. Louis this morning on NPR, as he was responding to the unrest in Ferguson. He said that we need to change and look forward, despite what has happened in the past, and he didn’t know what that change looked like just yet and was using his airways on the radio station to let peoples’ voices be heard.

I want to be part of the positive change in this world. We can celebrate our oneness, our sameness by embracing and seeing the good in each other and changing the conversation to lift each other up, to forgive one another and to help one another. I think we can take care of each other by being kind, loving, and respectful to ourselves and to each other, always, even when someone hurts us. I think this change comes from being curious about each other and wanting to know more and looking for the connections in our shared values and interests.

I wish for love and peace and justice in this fragmented world, BeLoveRs.

Namaste…the light in me honors the light in you.

21Oct2014

Stress Relief

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So being that we’re perfectly imperfect, what do you do to relieve stress?

Here are my top 11, in no particular order:

1. Swear! Yes, this is my weakness. So dirty and foul but it feels good to me and helps me to let things go.

2. Wine. I love a glass of white wine at night to unwind.

3. Friends. My friends give me comfort. I love being able to share my life with girlfriends in different circles and share our days.

4. Ocean. When I go to the ocean, I feel insignificant in a good way, meaning I feel so small compared to the big blue ocean. I love the ebb and flow of the waves, the sights and the smells.

5. Exercise. When I come out of a yoga class, or a singles tennis match, or a long hike, or a paddle on the ocean, I feel invigorated.

6. Cry. The release of tears let’s me let go of pain and stress that I hold inside. When the tears come, I let them flow. Tears are good. I just try to limit them.

7. Date. When I get time to date my husband, I feel happy. It’s the uninterrupted attention that I appreciate and the time dedicated to just the two of us that makes me feel centered.

8. Prayer. Sometimes life is a mystery and there are no answers. In these times and others, I pray to The Lord to show me the way. I say let Your will be done and show me the way. I surrender control and wait for His light to guide me. This is magical.

9. Clean. When I get stressed, I long for order and to remove the chaos of daily life. I start to clean and clean until order in my house is restored and I can think and focus again.

10. Social media. I play mindless games, read Facebook Status updates and blogs, check Instagram and Pinterest and get lost in my non-reality world. It occupies my mind and I don’t have to think or do.

11. Writing. Writing has always been an outlet for me. I used to write in journals. Now I write this daily blog and it’s cathartic. I love the medium and creating something new everyday, focusing on gratitude along the way.

Stay happy and stress free my BeLoveRs.

xo Adriana

19Oct2014

Comfort

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Most of my family was together this weekend. Several of us couldn’t be there, but for those that could and did gather, we provided comfort for each other.

We experienced a family tragedy that we cannot comprehend and the pain is still raw and will be for quite awhile. We needed to hold each other, and to share time and space as we experienced the loss and tried to figure out what and why and how, even though we’ll never really know the answers. Life is a mystery, and sometimes it’s dark and doesn’t make sense and we have to figure out a new normal.

We came together to celebrate life and to do what we always do. We met at my mom and my dad’s house and just hung out together. It wasn’t fancy. It wasn’t formal. It just was. And it was so comforting just being with one another, and being our true and vulnerable selves.

We sat on the couches, watched the football game, swung on the porch swing, chatted and laughed, ate and drank, cleaned up the dishes and food, and looked out for the kids and each other. We told jokes and shared memories and teased one another. There were no expectations and there was no rush. We just were together in a shared space and we provided love and comfort for one another in it’s many different forms. No one wanted to leave.

We tried to comfort one another during our time of sorrow, and even though we can’t take away the pain, we found comfort sharing tears and hugs, unspoken and spoken words and love.

We found comfort in each other, and for this I am thankful.

When life is a mystery, how do you find comfort?

I wish you well, my BeLoveRs! xoxo

10Sep2014

Messy Relationships

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“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
― Brené Brown

Relationships – Part 2

This is the week of relationship challenges.

I had another situation this week that left me saddened.

I was not chosen for something and it hurt my feelings. I felt rejected by my friend and at the same time accepted her decision. As I dealt with my feelings of rejection, I also practiced letting go of anger and accepting her and her choice, even though it wasn’t my favorite choice.

I am practicing letting go of hurt and sadness and moving on as quickly as possible, after acknowledging the sense of loss. I don’t want to dwell on loss and pain and sadness, even though these feelings are also part of life. I want to acknowledge the feelings and release them so that they don’t consume my mind space. This is a practice, let me tell you, but it’s so worth it. There are so many other opportunities to explore and one loss shouldn’t take away our energy, but rather should energize us to try new things and to create new relationships.

I choose to let go.

I chose to share my story of disappointment with my kids. I wanted them to know that even as adults, we will sometimes get hurt by others choices and that we have to find peace in that. We all experience rejection in different forms, and we cannot always be chosen for the team, for the role in a play that we wanted, as a friend, for a job, as a partner, etc, and we have to develop ways to cope with the changes that life delivers to us.

I wanted to teach compassion and forgiveness. I wanted them to be aware that we are sometimes the ones that do the unintentional hurting, and that I want them to be careful with their choices and their relationships and to be mindful of how their actions affect others. I wanted to teach them self confidence, and to be ok with themselves, when they are rejected for whatever reason, and to carry on.

They got it. They understood. They shared how they have dealt with similar experiences and shared compassion with me. And then I cried. Because I was understood and was thankful that my little ones got it.

Life is good. I am ok. We move on and it’s ok. Shine.

7Jul2014

Driving and Waiting

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I spend a lot of time driving and waiting and driving and waiting. Some times this frustrates me. It’s not what I want to do.

This is my view right now as I wait. Car is parked. I am sitting and waiting. I don’t want to rush back and forth so tonight I chose to sit and wait. That’s weird for me and out of my comfort zone.

There are so many things I can do yet I choose to do nothing. I didn’t want to rush back and forth and try to squeeze in one more task before getting in the car again. So I chose to park and do nothing.

Well not really nothing, but something different. I am sitting still. I am enjoying the space of quiet and solitude and can feel the cool breeze blowing through my open window. I am liking the sound of the wind through the trees and watching people walk by with their dogs and basketballs and holding hands and running.

I checked Facebook and email and played a game. I looked at my book that sits next to me and then decided to write early tonight. I am content just sitting here. Who knew?

Yesterday I was frustrated with this process of driving around every few hours and having my day interrupted again and again. But at the end of the day, I changed my attitude and was thankful that I had time alone in the car with my oldest. I realized that probably within the next year, he won’t need me to drive him. And in that moment, I wasn’t frustrated anymore. In that moment I was happy that I was still needed, even though it came in a different form than I typically see myself as being needed. He was thankful for the rides and I was thankful to share time with him.

Tonight I’m thankful for this gift of a free hour, waiting to pick up my daughter with no rush and no expectations and am glad I chose to enjoy the quiet vs being frustrated by the drive and wait and drive and wait game.

Sometimes we just have to sit still and wait and be patient and good things can fill the space. Hmmm.

Namaste.

29Jun2014

Life’s Moments

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Do you ever feel like sometimes life stands still and you actually get to stand back and take a snapshot and really see a moment?

Do you know what I’m talking about?

Every so often, I feel like time stands still and I have clarity and can really see and be present in that exact moment.

Today I had one of those.

Christian returned from his Caravan journey and it was such a touching and meaningful moment, that I almost missed. I was scheduled to play a finals USTA tennis match tonight at the exact same time of his arrival. Before he left, I had asked him if he minded me missing his homecoming because of this big game, and of course he said no. He knows how much I love playing tennis and that our team has been doing very well. As the week went by, I was feeling worse and worse about my selfish decision to play, even though I knew my team needed me. I was so torn. Then on Thursday, I ran into an angel at Charlie’s sports camp, who asked me if I was going to be there for his arrival and I told her my story. She said I really wouldn’t want to miss this moving experience and from that moment, I knew I couldn’t play. Luckily, the night before last, I got an email with our team lineup and there was a backup player available to cover anyone who might have an issue.

I had an issue. I had mom guilt. I couldn’t play anymore. I knew I had to be there for his arrival and couldn’t be two places at once. I wanted to be there to greet Christian and to see his face and to hear his story about his journey, first hand. Luckily, I was given a pass.

I have been anticipating his arrival all week. Today I spent a couple hours deep cleaning his room, kind of like in preparation for his arrival, as if I was having a guest come over. I think I was nesting, just like what you do before you have a baby and you want everything to be just right for the baby’s arrival. Just this time, it was my big baby’s arrival back at home again.

I wanted to do something nice for him, so I decluttered, dusted and created a clean space for him. Juliana made a welcome home sign and hung it on our garage door that said, “Welcome Home, Christian.” We were anticipating his arrival and were so excited.

We were at church, when the Caravan crew arrived. They opened the doors and the kids and all the advisors came in and walked past us seated on the benches, to the front of the church to their reserved seats, while we sang and clapped and I cried. I kept crying because I am overly emotional and feel so deeply.

I cried for several reasons.

I cried because I was happy to see his face again.

I cried because I was so proud of him.

I cried because I couldn’t hug him right away and wanted to touch him.

I cried because I know he grew up this week and had a life changing experience without me, which is great and wonderful and perfect, but I still felt like I missed out. I am attached and am in the process of detaching as moms should do. I just didn’t know that this was happening right now. But now I do, and I’m ok with that. Just weepy. 😉

I cried because I was fully aware that he is growing up and becoming more independent, doing exactly what he is supposed to do. And that means that my role is changing. I felt the transition tonight. And I cried for that too. Moms of grown kids – I know you get this. I’m just beginning. I get it. I am feeling it and it’s really ok.

I am so thankful that I ran into Colleen and she guided me to be there for the homecoming tonight. Thank you, Colleen.

I am so thankful that we belong to such a great church community, filled with love and teaching my kids to be loving and giving and providing this wonderful service opportunity for them, that is also helping them to grow up with grace.

I am thankful that Christian is home again and that he had such a remarkable experience. I loved hearing his stories about the people he met, the work he did, and the friends that he made.

And my tennis team, they won tonight!! I stopped by at the end of the match and was able to witness our final win in a tie break, with the lady who took my place and my partner. They all understood me and get it – they are moms too. And we’re all in this thing together. Thank you Gloria and Reid – for being great captains and for supporting my last minute change of mind. You are the best!!

Life is good!