So What?

This is another one of my mantras. You might not like it. But if you think about it for a minute, it might make sense.

Life happens. It just keeps coming. Lots of times we react to It, whatever It may be.

Sometimes drama pops up and we are filled with emotions trying to make sense of life event A or life event B. Can you tell I’ve been helping with math homework?

Sometimes we are angry or sad or crazy because of something that happened to us, or our kids, or our well being is just shaken. Sometimes it’s something serious, really serious, and sometimes it just feels serious. And we react. And sometimes keep reacting in a negative way.

My response is… yep, you guessed it…. So what?

So what, really? Really, does it make a difference how you feel? The event just happened. Usually you can’t change it. Sometimes you can and then it makes sense to think of what you can do differently. But most times you just have to say “So what?” Deal with it. Cope with it. Make amends and accept what is as fast as you can so you can go on living and accepting and enjoying the present moment whatever that may be. Accept your new normal and adapt. The longer we feed the drama, the less time we have for joy in the present we might experience.

When Charlie almost died, I had to say so what. What could I do? There wasn’t much I could do to help him and it was out of my control. I had to let go, and let the doctors work their magic and pray to God that His Will would be done. Don’t get me wrong… I tried my best and worked so hard and was at the hospital day and night, and did everything possible to care for him and my family as we went through our personal hell. But when I let go, and stopped trying to find the answers and surrendered to the process and the journey, I found peace. I found grace. I found joy despite the fear and sadness and worry.

And I’ve never wanted to let go of this feeling. I’ve used this strength to help guide me through life and not to react as strongly as I normally would and I’ve practiced saying so what when things didn’t go as planned. And geez, things usually don’t go as planned, do they? So what. I’m going to live the best life possible and so are you. Right?

Really, I think it works for just about any situation. My dad always says, “In 5 years, are you going to remember this moment.” Or, “In 10 years, will it really matter that event A happened?” This is just another way of saying “So what?” Really. Just acknowledge and accept what comes your way and adapt and change and move on. Keep moving forward and finding your happy place. Sometimes it takes a bit longer, of course, but we need to find peace in life. And I think peace comes more quickly when we let go of trying to control what we’ve been handed and just say “So what” or whatever other expression helps you to let go and move on. And please, don’t think for one minute I’m saying that whatever has happened to you isn’t tragic, or scary or sad or miserable or painful or any other negative feeling that you’re experiencing. That is real. It’s just our reaction to the pain is what we can control.

I wish you peace and grace and love. So what?

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Let there be light… It’s a full moon tonight.

What I Love About Being Home

I played tennis with a group of friends today in the warm sunshine. They were asking me questions about what it was like to be back and what I liked about Holland and what I miss and all that good stuff.

I noticed that I’m starting to transition to liking being back home again. This was a turning point for me.

It’s been 2 months, 1 week, and 3 days since we moved back. The kids are now settled into their new schools and routines are starting to become normal. After school activities are taking shape. Most of the boxes are unpacked. I’ve picked up my sports and making a little time for myself again. I’ve done a little volunteering and I’m feeling like this is where I belong again. My parents also left this week. I am keeping busy, but am starting to feel a bit more content.

So what do I love about being home? I’ll try and make a little list.

– Things are easier here, yet so much busier. I like the easy, not so sure yet on the busy.

– I love that the sun shines every day and I’m outside soaking it in. I’ve been riding Charlie to school in the bakfiets most days, getting lots of smiles and stares.

– People know me and I know them. I have friends all over our community and I love them. At tennis today, Nisa invited me to come to her Jazzercise class and we shared stories of when our boys were little and just started playing soccer. Those stories were from 9 years ago! We share a history.

I asked my tennis partners what they were making for dinner tonight because I didn’t know what I was serving yet and needed to stop at the store after our game. Pam told me what she was making for dinner and voila – I took her idea, stopped at Trader Joe’s on the way home, and made falafel with pita, flatbread, and dips and veggies. YUM!! We all loved it and it was something I haven’t served in a long time. Thanks for the inspiration, Pam.

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I got to stop in at Marilynne’s house for a half hour before picking up the kids from school, just because I can!

And as I was cleaning up dinner, Laura stopped by on her way home for a quick hug, because we haven’t seen each other in a long while. We are both busy with three kids each and planning girlfriend time, just doesn’t fit right now. Being spontaneous is so much better!

I had two conflicting appointments tonight and was able to call Reid to drop off Juliana a little early so that she could take our girls to their event. We’ve been friends since our girls were little and when we were part of Las Madres playing at the park in the sand with them. I was thankful for her help and the girls were happy too.

And Val had called me to carpool to the next event, but since I was already going to be out, I swung by to pick her up on my way and we got to share a few minutes in the car chatting and catching up too.

I got to talk to my sisters on the phone, in the same time zone, which is such a huge gift!

I need my girlfriends! I need their advice, support, ideas, help and hugs! Being back home and having all these connections fulfills me. I like our shared history. I like being outside playing tennis with them and having neighbors and friends drop by just because we can. I like carpooling and sharing rides and conversations. It makes the days sweeter. It takes a village, and I’m part of a really good one.

I was going to share other reasons why I love being home, but the girlfriends and connections and sunshine are what really make me happy right now. Of course, I miss my girlfriends in the Netherlands, but I’m sure thankful for the friends that are right here, right now, with me on this journey.

Love y’all!

What do you love about being home?

Be Inspired

Christian had his first high school, cross country meet today. It was awesome to go and watch him be with his friends, run, and have fun. I’ve never been to a cross country meet before and I was definitely inspired. He was fun to watch, along with his great group of friends.

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Someone else was inspired too! Christian is a great big brother!

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Luckily I was hyper organized today and was even able to squeeze in a 3 mile run while Charlie had soccer practice and before a technology meeting back at school. I was definitely inspired by Christian today.

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What inspired you today and what did you do because of your inspiration?

Transitions and Surprises

We all go through transitions every day. Nothing stays the same, which is so obvious, but for some reason I think that someday things will be normal, but normal never comes, whatever that may be. And a new normal takes its place, which is normal and to be expected but it’s not! And I think that’s crazy.

Why do we expect things to stay the same or to reach a steady state? That’s probably just stupid thinking, but we do it anyway. And as soon as we think we’re ready to start something new, something else changes that we weren’t expecting. Hopefully one day I’ll stop being surprised.

I shared with my husband that we should expect 5 things to go wrong at home, 4 things to go wrong at work and 7 things to not go as planned with the kids. Don’t ask me where I got these numbers. I just made them up. My point was/is that we always really seem surprised when things didn’t go as expected, so I told him maybe if we changed our expectations and expected things to not go as planned, we’d feel more happy and not so surprised and have less drama. Really what I was sharing with him was what I’m trying to tell and teach myself so that I can flow with whatever comes my way and not feel like I’ve been given such a surprise. That makes sense, right?

So my new normal is to have a plan and then expect it to change and transition and flow with it, whatever it may be and to not feel so surprised or perplexed.

Like tonight. I planned to go to bed early and did all the work to be ready on time, but 3 things went wrong at home that changed my plan, and by wrong I mean differently than I had planned, which is really normal and not wrong, but just kept me up later than expected. Phew… did you follow all that?

I was going to write tonight about my parents leaving and the feelings of saying goodbye and transitioning again, but then the words took over and changed, along with the intent of this post, but I’ll just go with it. My new normal.

What’s your new normal?

Namaste.

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Beautiful Bay Area

We spent the night in Rocklin last night, a small town outside of Sacramento. It was the first time staying in a hotel again since we moved back home. The morning highlight for the kids was the breakfast buffet and getting to make their own waffles. This my friends, is the definition of a good hotel in their eyes!

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The best part for me was not having the long drive home late last night after the wedding. As we were leaving for home this morning, Juliana spotted some furry friends in the bushes that made me smile.

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We left by 8:15 am because Charlie had picture day for his soccer team by noon. The good part of leaving this early was there wasn’t any traffic, except for the Oakland Raiders Fans getting ready to tailgate in Oakland before their 1:30 pm game. We decided to drive over the new Bay Bridge and pay the $5.00 toll for the experience. The views were gorgeous today.

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Old and new.

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Golden Gate and Alcatraz

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We got home in time to get Charlie to his photo appointment and then found out that only 3 players showed up for the team photo and they have to now reschedule it. What a bummer! But the good news is we had the rest of the day to enjoy a relaxing Sunday afternoon.

Jeff smoked a few racks of ribs and we enjoyed a great dinner outside on the patio with my parents and Christian’s friend.

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Hope you had a great weekend and have a fulfilling, fun week!

– Adriana

Wedding on a Golf Course

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California is such a big place. Yesterday we were celebrating a wedding on the beach in Santa Cruz and today we drove 3 hours to Auburn, to celebrate another family union on a beautiful golf course under a huge, old, oak tree.

I loved seeing more of my cousins and my aunts tonight and being a witness to love. I am a big sap and love wedding vows and all they stand for. I love that family and friends came together to be part of something wonderful.

The wedding ceremony was one of the shortest I’ve heard in a long time. Short but sweet.

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We went inside the reception hall and had drinks and fruit while we waited for the wedding party to take pictures. The DJ announced the wedding party as they came in the hall and everyone cheered for them. Then a dinner buffet was served and table by table was excused to go through the dinner line to fill their plates with BBQ chicken, beef, corn on the cobb, pasta, Caesar salad and rolls.

Toasts were shared by the wedding party, honoring their relationships with the bride and groom. Next came the first dance and honorary dances with loved ones that made me cry.

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In between we snuck away to take pictures in the photo booth.

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Feels like we just did this!! Oh yeah, we did! But fun, nevertheless.

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Cake was served and more dancing fun happened. And then it was time for hugs and goodbyes and dreams of getting together again sooner than later.

Another full day is done. I’d say it was a good one!

Namaste.

Wedding on the Beach

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We celebrated a family wedding tonight on the beach in Santa Cruz. It was really nice to see some of my aunts and uncles and cousins, as well as my parents. Plus, I had the added bonus of a date night. Tonight was one of those perks of repatriation and being back home again. I don’t have to miss out on family events and that feels really good.
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I liked hearing the wedding vows and watching two people in love. I liked hearing the waves crash on the beach and hearing the seagulls and sea lions roaring.

Dancing with my family was a highlight of the evening. I also especially loved the photo booth and being silly. Those things just make me laugh and I kept finding different people to take pictures with me.
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Congratulations to Denice and Jeff!

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Life is beautiful.

Just Say Yes

Today I said Yes.

Yes, to my mama’s request to come meet her at the ocean to go kayaking and paddling together.
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Yes, to myself to take a break from my duties to enjoy the moment and make memories.

Yes, it’s ok to play even when there will always be more work to do.

I Am so happy I said Yes when I thought I should say No.

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We had such a great day together in the water. We launched from Santa Cruz harbor and paddled almost all the way to the wharf. We saw sea lions, seals, a sea otter eating a crab, pelicans, seagulls, jelly fish and fisherman catching HUGE fish from the rocks on the side of the harbor by the lighthouse. We saw kayakers and paddlers and boats passing by. It was so peaceful. Being by the ocean is my favorite place to be.

Thanks mama for asking me to join you and dad today! I’m so proud of you for journeying out into the ocean for the first time! It was so awesome!!

How did you make time for yourself today? It’s so important to find joy especially when life is crazy!! Just say yes!!

Namaste

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Sisterhood

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I love women.

I love how we lift each other up and support one another.

I love how we laugh and cry together and just understand.

I love how we celebrate each other and see the good.

I love how we learn from each other and are role models for one another.

I love how we share our babies, our stories, our fears and our struggles, and our friendship.

I love how we get together to exercise, eat, drink, party, cook, work, shop and play together.

I love how we text and chat and share photos and jokes and laughs and advice and fat stories!

I love how our lives are intertwined and how we are rooted together, both near and far, through our common values and goals.

Love you girlfriends! You inspire me. Thank you for being you. Keep up the good work! xo