So What?

This is another one of my mantras. You might not like it. But if you think about it for a minute, it might make sense.

Life happens. It just keeps coming. Lots of times we react to It, whatever It may be.

Sometimes drama pops up and we are filled with emotions trying to make sense of life event A or life event B. Can you tell I’ve been helping with math homework?

Sometimes we are angry or sad or crazy because of something that happened to us, or our kids, or our well being is just shaken. Sometimes it’s something serious, really serious, and sometimes it just feels serious. And we react. And sometimes keep reacting in a negative way.

My response is… yep, you guessed it…. So what?

So what, really? Really, does it make a difference how you feel? The event just happened. Usually you can’t change it. Sometimes you can and then it makes sense to think of what you can do differently. But most times you just have to say “So what?” Deal with it. Cope with it. Make amends and accept what is as fast as you can so you can go on living and accepting and enjoying the present moment whatever that may be. Accept your new normal and adapt. The longer we feed the drama, the less time we have for joy in the present we might experience.

When Charlie almost died, I had to say so what. What could I do? There wasn’t much I could do to help him and it was out of my control. I had to let go, and let the doctors work their magic and pray to God that His Will would be done. Don’t get me wrong… I tried my best and worked so hard and was at the hospital day and night, and did everything possible to care for him and my family as we went through our personal hell. But when I let go, and stopped trying to find the answers and surrendered to the process and the journey, I found peace. I found grace. I found joy despite the fear and sadness and worry.

And I’ve never wanted to let go of this feeling. I’ve used this strength to help guide me through life and not to react as strongly as I normally would and I’ve practiced saying so what when things didn’t go as planned. And geez, things usually don’t go as planned, do they? So what. I’m going to live the best life possible and so are you. Right?

Really, I think it works for just about any situation. My dad always says, “In 5 years, are you going to remember this moment.” Or, “In 10 years, will it really matter that event A happened?” This is just another way of saying “So what?” Really. Just acknowledge and accept what comes your way and adapt and change and move on. Keep moving forward and finding your happy place. Sometimes it takes a bit longer, of course, but we need to find peace in life. And I think peace comes more quickly when we let go of trying to control what we’ve been handed and just say “So what” or whatever other expression helps you to let go and move on. And please, don’t think for one minute I’m saying that whatever has happened to you isn’t tragic, or scary or sad or miserable or painful or any other negative feeling that you’re experiencing. That is real. It’s just our reaction to the pain is what we can control.

I wish you peace and grace and love. So what?

Let there be light… It’s a full moon tonight.