Choices

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

I love my family so much. I also love my friends, as if they were my family especially since my extended family does not live close to me and this makes me very sad. I love to share this life journey together and they are so far away, which makes it hard to have a cup of coffee together or show up for dinner unexpectedly or hike or do whatever. I love to go to my nieces’ soccer games and plays and school functions and want to be there for the major events too. Instead I have to text them, call or Facetime, or send pictures and just miss out. This is how it is. I get it. And since they can’t be with me as much as I would like, I have chosen to adopt friends, as my local, bonus family. This makes me really happy and makes life good right where I am. Do you do this or are you lucky enough to have family close by? This would be a bonus dream come true. Does anyone in my family want to move close to me?? Pretty please?

While I wait to see my family, I am enjoying and loving my friends and especially my adopted daughter, Akie. We have 2 more nights left with her before she goes back home. The one thing she asked to see in California was the Cheesecake Factory, while she was here. Tonight was her lucky night. She enjoyed the experience very much, and we enjoyed sharing this with her. She picked the pasta carbonara with shrimp for dinner, and the 30th anniversary chocolate cheesecake for dessert. She was amazed by the portion sizes, compared to Japan. Some of her Japanese friends were also there tonight and it was nice for them to be able to speak in their native language and share stories. I am so happy that she is having a good time and enjoying all that is here for her to experience.

She fits in so well with our family. This morning when I was alone in the car with her before dropping her off at school, she said to me that she wished she could stay in California. I smiled (and cried) and said, “Me too.” Me too.

Namaste.

12Mar2015

Community Connections and Friendship

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

Today was filled with love.

I started the day with a special breakfast at Charlie’s school, called Moments with Moms. It was my last one as Charlie is graduating this year, so it was extra special. I loved sitting with him and his friends and mine, soaking it all in and enjoying every minute and all the kids and moms and teachers and principal.

I love our school and our international community and my baby boy. I was filled with joy.

After breakfast and doing a few chores, I went to meet my volleyball girls out on the grass for some outdoor volleyball fun. I hadn’t been out for over a month, since I’ve been fighting pain in my neck and back. I received an “internal memo” from our team captain, who always makes us laugh with her spirit and creativity. She pretends that we are an official team and sends out weekly reminders of upcoming events and helps to coordinate our schedules and encourages us to get outside and play. I adore her! Here is what her memo stated:

Internal Memo To: A. Hartley

From: WBVC Management

Regarding: The Hartley Shuffle aka Happy Dance

Dear Ms. Hartley,

Please be reminded that according to your contractual agreement with the WBVC you will need to ensure that you

fulfill your 2015 public appearance schedule and perform your signature move “the Hartley Shuffle”

aka “Happy Dance”(listed per your, “Publicity Branding”) as specified in the language found in paragraph 4, addendum 23.8.

We are currently renegotiating our sub leases and incentives with our DVD sponsorship and we need to ensure that “the Hartley Shuffle” will be performed during the high season. Therefore,you will need to rehab your shoulder in short order and provide a timetable for your future appearances.

For your reference note that as per the contract, “Player will cooperate with the news media, and will participate upon request in reasonable activities to promote the Club and the League.”

The Top 7 Sports Signature Moves:

1.) Colin Kaepernick’s “Bicep Kiss”

2.) Dennis Rodman’s “Jersey Toss”

3.) Jason Kidd “Blows a Kiss”

4.) The Bash Brothers’ “Forearm Smash”

5.) Deion Sanders’ “Prime Time Dance”

6.) Lebron James’ “Powder Toss”

7.) Adriana Hartley’s “the Hartley Shuffle”

Thank you,

The WBVC Management

The shortened version of this memo from M and others reads, where is Adriana and how did that happy dance go? We need

the happy dance back to which management was requested to send a memo asap. BTW All members reading said memo should attend all practices weekly as your schedule permits.

It was soooo good to be out on the field again with my friends, playing in the sunshine, sharing stories and catching up while working out with my girls. I was nervous at first to play again, and was on the injured list, which gave me a few privileges, such as extra serves. After about an hour or so, I warmed up and the pain was less. I was so happy that N encouraged me to come out and play again, as this made me very happy.

The rest of the day was filled with catching up with laundry and work, before getting ready for the potluck dinner with our Japanese students and host families back at school. Every family brought something to share, which made for a fabulous dinner. We made bagel pizza bites and the girls made gluten free chocolate frosted cupcakes.

The Japanese students provided entertainment that made me very happy.

My favorite part of the night was watching. The kids perform. The Japanese kids practiced their English, acting as the MCs and directing the agenda for the evening. I loved the boys group dancing, the drama scene, the group song, and most especially watching Akie perform a solo ballet performance to my favorite Frozen tune, “Let it Go.”

She was absolutely stunning and beautiful and graceful. I was so proud of her (as my daughter!) I left from filming, saying to my friends, “that’s my girl!!.” They giggled.

Seeing and feeling the appreciation and gratitude and love between the students, the schools, and the families made my day.

This is truly a remarkable experience and I recommend hosting a foreign exchange student in your house, if you have the means. We are all loving her and sharing in this journey, creating connections and friendships that we would never have had otherwise.

I am thankful!!

11Mar2015

One Love – Japan and America

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

Today the girls went ice skating with their friends after school. I don’t think Akie had ever been ice skating before and was a good sport. Juliana sticks by her side and helps her and includes her in everything she does. I am proud of all the work she puts into making Akie feel at home here.

For dinner, I served roasted chicken from Costco, rice, fresh corn, and sliced pineapple. I think she liked all of it, which makes me happy. I love that she is willing to try everything.

After dinner, we took Akie to Target to do some inexpensive American shopping and browsing. We were looking at the dollar section right as you walk in the store, and as we’re browsing, we hear “AKIE!!!”

Two of her Japanese friends walked in with their host family and we were all happy to see them. It was really cute to watch them greet each other. They walked up to her and decided to reach out with their arms wide open for a slow, animated, hug. I was shocked! So was Akie. They hugged, which is not normal for Japanese people. They were practicing being like their American friends and it was so cool!

When we left the store, I asked Akie about the hug and she said this was the first time she ever hugged her friends. I told her that I hope she takes the hugs home with her back to Japan and starts a new tradition there. She laughed and smiled. This really made me happy.

She loved looking around Target and admired the accessories, especially the colorful sling handbags and floral jewelry. She spent a lot of time in the candy aisle, and chose two different types of Ghiradellii chocolate bars to bring home. She also enjoyed looking around the kitchen aisles. I loved watching what she liked and what she admired.

We came home and unpacked and sat at the table, sharing a drink and a snack. Akie left the table and came back with a surprise for Juliana, wrapped up in her red scarf. She called Juliana’s name and when Juliana looked up, she presented her with a hand made gift that is priceless. I wish you could have seen Juliana’s face.

I took a picture of Juliana admiring her treasure and then asked Akie to give her a hug!! She laughed and joined in on the fun.

I can’t even tell you how much I love this girl and how much I am going to miss her when she goes back home in a few days.

Having her here with us is a great gift that we will treasure for a very long time.

Life is good.

6Mar2015

Your Temple

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What if we loved ourselves so much that we treated US like WE were really important and a priority? If we, ourselves, were a temple, would we change what we do and eat and practice each day? Would we develop and practice rituals that celebrate our bodies? I think some of us might already and more of us should.

This is my friend, Pili. She was wearing this shirt today that sparkled and caught my attention and made me think. If you can’t see the picture, her shirt reads: “Love your body. Respect your temple.”

Isn’t she smart? She’s also very fit and focused and loving and giving and faithful. I admire her in so many ways.

She has been on the Paleo food system for quite awhile now and works out regularly. She balances raising 4 kids, volunteering at our school and at her church and always has a smile on her face. I’m sure she does a 101 other things too, but I’ll let her share more on those things. Oh, and she just got a dog. Is that a sign? I hope not. Pili has a beautiful soul and I think her eyes shine. Don’t they say the eyes are the windows to your soul? Take a look at hers. She’s got it going on!

So back to her shirt. I told her I loved her shirt and asked her if I could take a picture of it, and her in it, and of course, she humbly said yes. And then I asked if I could write about her tonight, and she kindly and quickly obliged with another, happy “Sure!”

I think if more of us loved our bodies and ourselves for just being who we are, where we are right now, we could create a lot more happiness in this world. I think this is so doable.

How do you treat your body as a temple? How do you treat your skin? How do you treat your face? How do you treat your stomach and muscles? How do you care for your brain and your heart? Do you drink enough water? How about sleep? Are your hands and feet rested?

What if we had a whole body workout routine that cared for our entire temple? Would you sign up? I know I would.

Maybe we can frame all that we do everyday with our temple in mind and make us a priority. Kind of a cool thought, right?

If I were to set up rituals and make my body a temple, I would:

– Wash my face and moisturize every day and night.

– Eat whole foods and skip sugar

– Drink more water and less alcohol

– Exercise daily for 2 hours – one hour of strength and one hour of fitness

– Stop biting my nails

– Do yoga every day

– Go to the beach and put my feet in the water. Sometimes paddle. Sometimes swim. Sometimes sit.

– Read

– Wear comfortable clothes

– Get massages

– Put my feet up

– Get manicures and pedicures and facials weekly

– Keep good posture

– Call my mom

– Call my sisters

– Love on my friends and family near and far

– Reach out in love – connect – touch – chat – help others

– Write

– Play and laugh

– Think and learn something new everyday

– Meditate and sit still and quiet my mind

– Stay organized and clutter free

– Practice and repeat

What would be on your list? What’s already on your list? We should make our lists!! What are we waiting for?
My list is so doable. I just have to set up the habits and practices and make my temple a priority. Who’s with me?

Celebrate this wonderful thing called life – bruises and pain and struggles included and acknowledged for what they are. And go on warrior. Keep moving. We’ve got this.

namaste

23Feb2015

Being Invited

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This kids cracks me up. I was looking for him today and found him perched on his dresser in his closet. He borrowed his brother’s headphones and was creating his March article for the school newspaper, using Google Docs. I think it’s really cool that he chose to be on the school newspaper editorial team and I think it’s funny that he likes to hide and work in his closet. He makes me laugh.

I like to think that maybe my blogging every night influenced his interest in writing too. I love that he shares my passion.

Tonight I was tired and told him it was time to go to bed. He wanted to read with me while I was working and I told him to go to his room. When I came to check on him, he invited me to join him instead.

With his big, beautiful doe eyes he looked at me and said how much he loved me. I told him these were the best words ever and was the greatest gift he could ever give me. He asked me if I wanted to come sit with him on his couch and write my blog while he read. How could I refuse?

I know my priorities and I know these little moments are what make life matter.

Here I am.
.

I hope you had a great day and enjoyed the little moments too. xo

21Feb2015

Are You Happy?

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Happiness is “simple.” We just have to follow this little flow chart. I don’t think we should always expect to be happy though. Sometimes we need to wait until we’re ready to change again. I think being aware that we are unhappy is healthy too. We just have to decide how long we want to stay where we are.

If this was my own creation, I’d add another arrow leading from “Change Something” back up to the continuos happiness cycle, asking the question again after you change something to determine if that leads to happiness or not. Just because you change something does not necessarily lead to happiness again. I think we have to always be asking the questions and making decisions, every day. We’re never done.

The only thing that is constant is change.

Today I was happy having a mother daughter date with my teenager. I love that she wants to be with me and that I want to be with her. I love her company and watching her grow up, although today I wanted to slow down time. We both went to get haircuts together. Her hair is curlier than mine and we both had ours blown out and smoothed, the way only a hairdresser can make it shiny and sleek. Seeing her look so beautiful and grown up made me proud and awe struck again. She looked older and I think I looked a little younger, somehow. It’s weird to see me in her and her in me.

Celia made me think of parenthood this week with her FB post that said: “When you become a parent, you stop being the picture and become the frame.” Looking at Juliana today, I saw the picture developing and love my role as the loving boundary and frame.

I am happy.

18Feb2015

Central Coast – Avila Beach

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We felt like we had the beach to ourselves today. The sun was shining and there wasn’t any wind. We were lucky to have nothing to do. I love this sleepy little town.

We dipped our toes in the ocean and walked along the sandy shore. We loved the feeling of the million little rocks under our feet and seeing how the high tide created a mini-pool higher up on the beach.

Some of us built rock art and others played three flies up. We walked in the little shops and admired creative sand sculptures.

I’m so glad my parents came to spend some time with us, doing “nothing” together and being perfectly content.

Life is good.

17Feb2015

What is Your Love Story?

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We all have a love story.

What does yours look like? What does it feel like? Is it happy or sad? Fulfilling or tragic? Somewhere in the middle? Simple or complex? Beginning or ending? In transition? Filled with drama or peaceful?

I (mostly) write about love and happiness and joy because these are the things I want to feel and experience, despite the pain and chaos and conflict that also exists. My love story has those elements too… I just don’t like to focus my thoughts there for very long. I prefer (when I’m strong enough and able) to acknowledge them and find a solution or recognize that which is yucky and then move on to spending more time living and loving and laughing and singing. I do that too and embarrass my kids, but that’s ok because it usually makes them laugh. And that makes me happy, which is the path I choose to follow every day. It’s my life practice. Is there a Degree in happiness? Or can you teach love and happiness like you teach yoga? Hmm… That’s an interesting thought.

Today my love story involved my family and my parents. My parents are my best teachers of unconditional love and I am so thankful for their priceless gift. I am happy just being in the same room as them, watching them interact with my family and listening to them talk and laugh, holding hands, leaning my head on their shoulders and rubbing my foot on theirs as we just sit and chat and hang out together.

My family shared a new experience together riding ATVs in the Pismo / Oceano Dunes. At first I was a bit fearful and excited and nervous. Once we started cruising along the beach, I was content and a wee bit excited. I loved that we were cruising on the beach! As we entered the dunes, two ATVs got stuck and we struggled to learn how to get up the hill in loose sand and how to restart the engine. We supported one another, stopping to help each other out and waiting for one another as we road through the open sand dunes. We were so lucky as we had the dunes all to ourselves, which made our first time out feel a little safer. We learned something new together and this shared connection made me very happy, especially knowing that everyone had a good time and didn’t get hurt.

Life is good, and I hope you’re living your happily ever after. xo

15Feb2015

Big Sur

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I love California and feel refreshed and relaxed being outdoors and soaking in the sunshine and natural beauty, especially when we are near the ocean.

Today we explored the coast and the majesty of Big Sur. We stopped at Nepenthe to see what everyone was talking about and it didn’t disappoint.

I just thought I’d share some moments from the day.

We enjoyed watching the fog roll in and watching the sun set. It’s the simple things, really that make life great.

Life is good. Be well, BeLoveRs.

14Feb2015

You Are Loved

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No matter what you know, the best thing
to know is that you are loved.

If you think that no one loves you, then look in the mirror and love yourself. Then you’ll be right. You will be loved and that’s in your control.

Anything more than this is a bonus.

Today I love that everyone in my family chose to love everyone else by sharing a valentine with each other. Our table was full. This was the highlight of my day. When you give, you receive.

The best part of receiving Valentines is knowing that someone else took the time to think of us, in their own way. I loved seeing our cards to each other and we all felt good taking a few moments to share our loving thoughts with each other. By far, this was my favorite gift – observing the thoughtfulness in each of my family members.

Life is good. Now before you think my day was perfect, it was far from that. There were a few hiccups and delays, but I am thankful for my one beautiful family and day.