Goodbyes

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

We said goodbye to Akie today, with tears in my eyes. Juliana called me a sap. I just loved having her with me and sharing this experience together and I miss her already.

It was such a joy to have her stay with our family. We all loved sharing stories and laughter and bonding together. She was absolutely delightful and we all enjoyed her company in different ways.

Our family bonded through this shared experience too. I admired how Juliana was a little mother to Akie, making sure she was happy and entertained and understood. She was patient and kind and loving and unselfish and I loved watching her be the best hostess, even giving up her room for her.

Charlie made welcome signs and presented her with a handmade goodbye card that he translated into Japanese and English, all on his own. He played kendamas and war with her and loved having her with us.

Christian always stopped by her room when he came home, greeting her and asking about her day. He joined us when he could and was warm and welcoming when he was busy.

Jeff had fun translating words into English, Dutch, German and Japanese, seeing the patterns and making connections. He was there to greet her when she arrived, took her to see San Francisco, the Redwoods and Santa Cruz, and was there to say goodbye at the end too.

We all had a special connection with her and for this I am grateful. I loved how she enjoyed small bowls of soup, rice with sprinkled toppings, and long bath rituals. She was polite, kind, friendly, curious, warm and genuinely happy. When she left, I asked if I could hug her and she reached out to give me a hug with a smile. I loved her!

Our family shared an awesome experience and shared our life with a stranger who became like a daughter and sister.

I highly recommend hosting a foreign exchange student. There are so many benefits to both the hosts and the student and it makes the world a little smaller, after all.

Life is good.

13Mar2015

Choices

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

I love my family so much. I also love my friends, as if they were my family especially since my extended family does not live close to me and this makes me very sad. I love to share this life journey together and they are so far away, which makes it hard to have a cup of coffee together or show up for dinner unexpectedly or hike or do whatever. I love to go to my nieces’ soccer games and plays and school functions and want to be there for the major events too. Instead I have to text them, call or Facetime, or send pictures and just miss out. This is how it is. I get it. And since they can’t be with me as much as I would like, I have chosen to adopt friends, as my local, bonus family. This makes me really happy and makes life good right where I am. Do you do this or are you lucky enough to have family close by? This would be a bonus dream come true. Does anyone in my family want to move close to me?? Pretty please?

While I wait to see my family, I am enjoying and loving my friends and especially my adopted daughter, Akie. We have 2 more nights left with her before she goes back home. The one thing she asked to see in California was the Cheesecake Factory, while she was here. Tonight was her lucky night. She enjoyed the experience very much, and we enjoyed sharing this with her. She picked the pasta carbonara with shrimp for dinner, and the 30th anniversary chocolate cheesecake for dessert. She was amazed by the portion sizes, compared to Japan. Some of her Japanese friends were also there tonight and it was nice for them to be able to speak in their native language and share stories. I am so happy that she is having a good time and enjoying all that is here for her to experience.

She fits in so well with our family. This morning when I was alone in the car with her before dropping her off at school, she said to me that she wished she could stay in California. I smiled (and cried) and said, “Me too.” Me too.

Namaste.

12Mar2015

Community Connections and Friendship

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

Today was filled with love.

I started the day with a special breakfast at Charlie’s school, called Moments with Moms. It was my last one as Charlie is graduating this year, so it was extra special. I loved sitting with him and his friends and mine, soaking it all in and enjoying every minute and all the kids and moms and teachers and principal.

I love our school and our international community and my baby boy. I was filled with joy.

After breakfast and doing a few chores, I went to meet my volleyball girls out on the grass for some outdoor volleyball fun. I hadn’t been out for over a month, since I’ve been fighting pain in my neck and back. I received an “internal memo” from our team captain, who always makes us laugh with her spirit and creativity. She pretends that we are an official team and sends out weekly reminders of upcoming events and helps to coordinate our schedules and encourages us to get outside and play. I adore her! Here is what her memo stated:

Internal Memo To: A. Hartley

From: WBVC Management

Regarding: The Hartley Shuffle aka Happy Dance

Dear Ms. Hartley,

Please be reminded that according to your contractual agreement with the WBVC you will need to ensure that you

fulfill your 2015 public appearance schedule and perform your signature move “the Hartley Shuffle”

aka “Happy Dance”(listed per your, “Publicity Branding”) as specified in the language found in paragraph 4, addendum 23.8.

We are currently renegotiating our sub leases and incentives with our DVD sponsorship and we need to ensure that “the Hartley Shuffle” will be performed during the high season. Therefore,you will need to rehab your shoulder in short order and provide a timetable for your future appearances.

For your reference note that as per the contract, “Player will cooperate with the news media, and will participate upon request in reasonable activities to promote the Club and the League.”

The Top 7 Sports Signature Moves:

1.) Colin Kaepernick’s “Bicep Kiss”

2.) Dennis Rodman’s “Jersey Toss”

3.) Jason Kidd “Blows a Kiss”

4.) The Bash Brothers’ “Forearm Smash”

5.) Deion Sanders’ “Prime Time Dance”

6.) Lebron James’ “Powder Toss”

7.) Adriana Hartley’s “the Hartley Shuffle”

Thank you,

The WBVC Management

The shortened version of this memo from M and others reads, where is Adriana and how did that happy dance go? We need

the happy dance back to which management was requested to send a memo asap. BTW All members reading said memo should attend all practices weekly as your schedule permits.

It was soooo good to be out on the field again with my friends, playing in the sunshine, sharing stories and catching up while working out with my girls. I was nervous at first to play again, and was on the injured list, which gave me a few privileges, such as extra serves. After about an hour or so, I warmed up and the pain was less. I was so happy that N encouraged me to come out and play again, as this made me very happy.

The rest of the day was filled with catching up with laundry and work, before getting ready for the potluck dinner with our Japanese students and host families back at school. Every family brought something to share, which made for a fabulous dinner. We made bagel pizza bites and the girls made gluten free chocolate frosted cupcakes.

The Japanese students provided entertainment that made me very happy.

My favorite part of the night was watching. The kids perform. The Japanese kids practiced their English, acting as the MCs and directing the agenda for the evening. I loved the boys group dancing, the drama scene, the group song, and most especially watching Akie perform a solo ballet performance to my favorite Frozen tune, “Let it Go.”

She was absolutely stunning and beautiful and graceful. I was so proud of her (as my daughter!) I left from filming, saying to my friends, “that’s my girl!!.” They giggled.

Seeing and feeling the appreciation and gratitude and love between the students, the schools, and the families made my day.

This is truly a remarkable experience and I recommend hosting a foreign exchange student in your house, if you have the means. We are all loving her and sharing in this journey, creating connections and friendships that we would never have had otherwise.

I am thankful!!

11Mar2015

One Love – Japan and America

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

Today the girls went ice skating with their friends after school. I don’t think Akie had ever been ice skating before and was a good sport. Juliana sticks by her side and helps her and includes her in everything she does. I am proud of all the work she puts into making Akie feel at home here.

For dinner, I served roasted chicken from Costco, rice, fresh corn, and sliced pineapple. I think she liked all of it, which makes me happy. I love that she is willing to try everything.

After dinner, we took Akie to Target to do some inexpensive American shopping and browsing. We were looking at the dollar section right as you walk in the store, and as we’re browsing, we hear “AKIE!!!”

Two of her Japanese friends walked in with their host family and we were all happy to see them. It was really cute to watch them greet each other. They walked up to her and decided to reach out with their arms wide open for a slow, animated, hug. I was shocked! So was Akie. They hugged, which is not normal for Japanese people. They were practicing being like their American friends and it was so cool!

When we left the store, I asked Akie about the hug and she said this was the first time she ever hugged her friends. I told her that I hope she takes the hugs home with her back to Japan and starts a new tradition there. She laughed and smiled. This really made me happy.

She loved looking around Target and admired the accessories, especially the colorful sling handbags and floral jewelry. She spent a lot of time in the candy aisle, and chose two different types of Ghiradellii chocolate bars to bring home. She also enjoyed looking around the kitchen aisles. I loved watching what she liked and what she admired.

We came home and unpacked and sat at the table, sharing a drink and a snack. Akie left the table and came back with a surprise for Juliana, wrapped up in her red scarf. She called Juliana’s name and when Juliana looked up, she presented her with a hand made gift that is priceless. I wish you could have seen Juliana’s face.

I took a picture of Juliana admiring her treasure and then asked Akie to give her a hug!! She laughed and joined in on the fun.

I can’t even tell you how much I love this girl and how much I am going to miss her when she goes back home in a few days.

Having her here with us is a great gift that we will treasure for a very long time.

Life is good.

10Mar2015

My New “Daughter”

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

I feel like I have another child, in a good way.

Akie has become part of our family now. She is comfortable asking for what she wants and shares in our activities. She is loving and kind and polite and I adore her.

Today when I picked my girls up from school (I always wanted Juliana to have a sister!), they both wanted to go to a birthday party for their Japanese friend at the park.

We have a google group between the parents of host families and I had read about the party invitation from the host mom this morning. She was bringing chocolate cake and drinks and all were invited to attend. I was happy for our family to be part of the celebration and so we brought a gift and some food to share and off we went. I love kids of all ages. I especially loved walking up to the park and seeing small Japanese children under the age of 5, playing with and teasing our students. At first, I wondered if they were siblings of one of the host families. I quickly realized that there were young, Japanese moms playing with their little kids at the park, and the little kids made a connection with our “real” Japanese teenagers. There was a natural connection for them and the little kids and big kids were all playing and having fun together, chasing and tagging and running around together. I loved this moment and realized that there is a natural comfort in the familiar that we all share.

We sang “Happy Birthday” and the birthday girl blew out her candles. I hope she enjoyed celebrating with us today as much as we did celebrating with her.

After the birthday party, I dropped off Charlie at his practice and brought the girls to Daiso, so that Akie could compare the Daiso in Cupertino to the Daiso in Japan. They were both relatively the same, of course. We also drove by the Apple Headquarters campus that is being built and tried to use English words to describe headquarters. What words would you use? I think she understood.

Tonight I decided I didn’t want to cook and clean again, especially because we had a very busy day. I hosted a tea party for several friends this morning and had been busy all day, with no time to cook. We decided to go out for American fast food at Taco Bell, instead of eating left overs. She picked what looked good from the picture menu displayed and we ordered a couple other things for her to try. She really liked her steak burrito and the nachos. She tried the mild sauce and it was pretty spicy for her. This is why we chose Taco Bell over Chipotle, because she doesn’t care for spicy food. It was fun to see Taco Bell through the eyes of someone new. Even the girl working behind the counter was intrigued by our new “daughter.”

The girl behind the counter came over to my side of the counter to ask me a question. She wanted to know if she could give Akie a hug, because she had never met a Japanese girl before and she was so curious and happy to see her. I told her that in Japan, there isn’t a lot of hugging and kissing and that this would be uncomfortable for her. Having a stranger ask for a hug would be weird in any culture, but I could tell that she genuinely was wanting to see her and connect with her. As we ate, I told Akie about the strange request. As we left the establishment, I introduced Akie to the girl and they bowed to one another. This was a really cool moment. I wish you could have seen it. Love sees no color.

Today was busy and rewarding. I learned a lot again, even in Taco Bell.

How was your day?

8Mar2015

Sunday – Rest?

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

Sundays used to be a day of rest. What happened to that concept?

I’ve lost it. I value doing nothing, but I’m not good at it.

At the party I was at this weekend, I heard other women talking about not finding time to go to church on Sunday, because their lives have taken over and their kids have sports events on Sundays. They can’t do it all. Yes, there is guilt involved and I wonder what we are going to do to change this.

It’s true. I understand. And I don’t yet have an answer today.

We like going to church, yet we don’t go that often either. Not because we don’t want to; it’s just that we seem to be constantly on the go. And the days, we’re not on the go, we need to rest and sleep in and do nothing.

So it’s 10:00 pm and I’m finally sitting down to rest. It’s been a long and exciting day and I’m not complaining. I think the time change stretched out the day too and our schedule is really off. It’s ok. This too shall pass.

This morning I left the beach party bright and early so that I could get back to my family. I wanted to spend the day together with them and to share experiences with our Japanese “daughter.”

I love having her here. She is such a delight and is warm and kind and friendly and engaging.

She speaks a few words of English and understands many phrases that we share. We all try to understand one another and all seem to be enjoying each other’s company. She continuously says, “I am happy.” I am happy too. I am so happy to be sharing this experience with her and having the opportunity to share one slice of American life with her.

Today we took her to see Big Basin and the historical redwood trees. She was amazed by the size of the trees and enjoyed walking through the forest for a short while.

From the Redwoods, we drove to the Santa Cruz Boardwalk.

She was happy again and was excited to go on the Giant Dipper roller coaster with Juliana. She loved the thrill ride and was very excited.

Charlie and I went on the Haunted Castle ride which was so cheesy and funny. I loved sitting next to him and feeling him cover his eyes and ears, afraid of what was to come next, even though he knew as he had ridden the ride before.