Miss You MamMam

MamMam died today and I have felt a deep sadness all day. It’s a sadness that lingered and permeated by body as I moved through our busy day, when all I wanted to do was to be still and feel her presence.  It’s so strange to me how when someone you love dies, the world keeps on moving and not everyone else knows this event happened. I feel like the earth opened up a hole and she fell through and then the hole closed up again and everyone kept moving on, not even noticing the hole and that she left us. But those who loved her, still feel her and the hole in our hearts is huge, and you can’t see that either.  

MamMam is my children’s great grandmother, Jeff’s grandmother, and my PEO Sister.  She was just shy of her 90th birthday. She loved to read my blog and would read it every day on her ipad. I have loved writing, knowing that I was providing her with a little bit of entertainment and a glimpse into our life away from her and PopPop. My writing and her reading made me feel connected to her. And now she’s not there anymore and that makes me really sad.

PopPop – I know how much you loved her and how well you cared for her and how you both dedicated your life to each other and your family. You both have been and are my heroes and I strive to be like you and her in my marriage and with my family. Just last month you both shared your 71st wedding anniversary and I treasured our long conversation with you both sharing your love and tips for success, so humbly and graciously.  I’m so sorry that you’re constant companion has moved on to her eternal life with Jesus and I pray for you to find peace in the days that are ahead.

Miss you MamMam.  Love our family. xo

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Julie and MamMam

Home

We traveled home today after spending a few days with my family for spring break.

The best part of being with my family was just that: being. I enjoyed watching and listening to all the cousins play together.

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I loved having coffee with my mama in the morning. I admired how my dad was busy making fresh bread and crepes with chocolate chips and powdered sugar for the kids for breakfast.
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I loved seeing my sisters and friends and just chatting together. I liked driving down the familiar highways and roads and seeing my old church and high school too.

It wasn’t anything fancy or about doing any one particular thing together, but rather just sharing meals and conversation and love. We just enjoyed being at home together, and I am thankful that we just got to enjoy one another.

I am also thankful for making it home safely again and for having kids who are actually (mostly) enjoyable to share 6 hours in the car. Juliana sat in the front passenger seat with me and we talked for hours and she made the time go by quickly. She used Yelp to help us find a place for lunch and navigated for me. The boys sat in the back and watched movies and played with their electronic devices. Charlie slept for the first two hours of the journey. He was exhausted from all the late nights, hours of running around with his cousins, and getting up early every morning.

We were all happy to see Jeff again, as he stayed behind this trip to work. We all piled on top of each other on our new outdoor couch and just enjoyed being outside and sharing stories about our days apart.

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Life is good.

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Happy Birthday to L and G and please send prayers and blessings for sweet MamMam. xo

The Nest

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I feel like I’ve come back to the nest.

Juliana made this origami crane diorama of my family, which I love. Made me thankful for this nest my parents created and tended for us.

My parents still live in the same house I grew up in 40+ years ago. It is comforting to come back here to the same place, in the same town, and to drive around the city to see what has changed and what has stayed the same and to see my family and friends.

Here we are driving to The Infamous Oaks Mall.

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The Oaks Mall is a big deal in this small, sleepy town. I just liked wandering around with the girls and trying on clothes and grabbing some lunch together.

I love that my mom and dad are so welcoming and loving and that they like to entertain. My cousin Laurie and her family came over for dinner, and my friend Jeni and her family joined all of us too.

Even my brother was here so all my siblings were together and all the grand kids too which made me smile and laugh.

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I love my crazy family and that we all took the time to be together for a few hours. We are a crazy, fun loving bunch, quirks and all, perfectly imperfect.

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Life is good! Thanks for having us all for dinner tonight Mama and Pops.

What does your family do when they get together? Are you crazy, loving and silly like us too? I hope so!! 🙂

I Am Her, and She Is Me

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Yesterday I wrote about my mama and how we’re both growing up, which is a nicer way than saying we’re aging. When I wrote about her, it made me cry, just feeling and realizing that we are aging and changing which is totally normal. I was just totally aware of it at that moment and it made me really miss her.

Today I drove with the kids 6 hours to come see her, and my dad and the rest of the family of course. We all just wanted to be together and since we have a few free days for spring break, we get to play with our cousins, Aunts, friends and grand parents. I am happy that we don’t have any real plans but to just be together for a few days.

Life is good and I’m excited to feel the days unfold.

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Cousins make for the best of friends.

The Sad News

I read the news and sometimes wonder why I bother. Just today… A shooter with mental health problems. A HUGE earthquake in Chlie and tsunami warnings around the world. Major car recalls. Missing airplane (still). Politics. Money. War.

Maybe that’s why I like writing about happiness everyday.  The news is depressing and sensationalized. I’d rather sensationalize everyday life and the pursuit of happiness despite our vulnerabilities and imperfections.  I prefer sharing the good stories, even if they’re “boring.” Boring is good. It doesn’t have to be ALL dramatic. That’s exhausting.

Today was exhausting, but in a good sort of way.

I got to chaperone Juliana’s class field trip to the San Jose Tech Museum.  I enjoyed being with her, but being responsible for 8 other girls was quite a task. Little kids are such better listeners than older kids, because I think they have more fear. I had one group of 3 wander off, after being told to stay in one area. They thought they’d head upstairs to an entire different part of the museum and for some reason this seemed like a good idea to them. Another girl was ready to cross a street with other friends after wandering away from our group, before I found her and tapped her on the shoulder and lead her back to the flock. And just so I wouldn’t be bored, one other girl decided she would make the rest of the group wait while she was the only one who wanted refreshments before the movie. It was an interesting psychological experiment for me, and a small insight into the minds of selfish pre-teens.  I’m thankful for the one I get to raise and really appreciate her soul.

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It was early dismissal today from school and Charlie and I gathered up his roller blades, tennis rackets and a chair, and headed out to watch Juliana’s first tennis match.

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We got there way earlier than we needed to because the other school didn’t have early out today. We made the most of it by running over to Starbucks for a drink and then playing outside and enjoying the sunshine. It’s a shame that the city closed the baseball fields because the fields were supposedly too wet.  Charlie’s game was cancelled which I actually appreciated a tiny bit so that I could just be in one place instead of two. Isn’t it strange to think a field would be closed when the sky looked like this?  

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What a shame.

Nevertheless, I got to enjoy being in one moment watching and supporting Juliana and playing with Charlie while we waited for her turn to be up.

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She won her first match and I was so proud of her. It must have been nerve- wracking to be out on the court for her first official game and she owned it.

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Life is good. How was your day? What made you happy?  I am content having spent the entire day with my kids, even though I am exhausted and heading to bed early.  😉  I’m listening to all the sage advice reminding me to enjoy them as they’re only little for a little while and they’re almost big!!

Goodnight

 

Pismo Beach

Where is your favorite place to be?

My favorite place is to be near the ocean. Any ocean. I love the sights, sounds, smell, feel, the lighting, and constant movement.

I got up early this morning and ran above the cliffs in Shell Beach through the fog, and then continued my run on the sand at Pismo Beach in the morning sunshine.
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I saw surfers and dog walkers, runners and couples strolling.

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There was even a man searching for lost treasures with his metal detector. I loved starting my day on the beach bright and early.

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My sisters and nieces and my mama came up from Southern California today to spend the day all together.
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We walked around San Luis Obispo and had lunch downtown before heading back to the beach. Everyone loves the beach once we get there. I think it’s because the beach is magical!

We checked out the butterflies again and then walked over the dunes to the beach, where we played volleyball, collected sand dollars and ran in the water. Watching the kids enjoy the beach made me incredibly happy. I am thankful that all the cousins and the Aunties and Oma and Jeff all got to play together on our day off.

Life is good.

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Cojourner

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This is my word for the new year. Actually it came from my husband. We were sitting at the Rose Bowl today and he thanked me for coming on this crazy journey with him. We both like to play with words and this became our new one. Is it even a real word?

We are both enjoying this life journey together. We are somewhat adventurous and both share different ideas of what fun looks like, and tend to follow one another. Today was such a day. Jeff had the idea of going to the 100th anniversary of the Rose Bowl. I had never been before and love shared family experiences. I was in.

And so we shared the co-journey together. With the kids and my dad and my brother. We met up with friends and enjoyed tailgating together in the Pasadena sunshine.

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We couldn’t have asked for a more gorgeous day. And even though Stanford lost to Michigan State, the journey and shared experience were still amazing.
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I wonder where the next journey will take us. I have a few ideas already mapped out for me and my cojourners.

What is your word of the year?

Following the Light

I am fascinated by light and water. I wanted to go to the beach today and see the ocean, but the rest of the family was happy just relaxing at home. Even though I desired going out, I’m also happy when everyone else is happy and I’d rather be with everyone than be alone enjoying the beach.

So instead, I enjoyed playing cards with my sister for four hours, knowing we had no where we had to be and nothing we had to do. This was liberating! Today truly felt like vacation. Jeff read his new books, CJ played on the computer, and the younger ones were content just playing and hanging out together. We went for a bike ride and the kids played in the park, appreciating the warm air and bright, California winter sunshine.

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Around 4pm, we decided to get dressed and to go watch the sunset. We all loaded up in the car and ended up following the light through Silicon Valley, down through Half Moon Bay, and ending up in San Francisco. In the end, I got to see the beach after all. Thanks guys!!

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I love this life, right now. And happy birthday to my BFF!!

GGG – Day 29 – Joy

Now that Thanksgiving is over we can move on to the next season and celebrate joy!!

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I think joy comes in many forms and that you can celebrate joy even when you’re sad or mad, if you open up your heart to receive it.

Mary and Steve stopped by today and brought pecan pie to share for breakfast. Gotta love the day after Thanksgiving and a loving neighborhood!! This is the first year without Irma and there was a lot of sadness to be felt, while at the same time we laughed and shared stories and pictures and felt joy. Mary Lee stopped
In too and we all sat around the table for a little longer. Joy.

Opa brought joy to the kids by bringing them to the donut shop this morning to pick out their favorites. This is a tradition we’ve shared since I was a kid. Seeing my kids enjoy my dad and chocolate chip donuts and maple bars and cinnamon rolls made me happy.

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Shellee came to visit today with her girls and new friend. Hugging her again after 3 years filled my heart, even if it was just for a short visit. We grew up together and are only 3 weeks apart. She was one of my first best friends and I’ve missed her!!


I find joy everywhere…I seek it out, do you? I find joy in little things and big things but mostly through relationships and connections and babies and nature. What fills your heart?

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I found joy in leaving Thousand Oaks and admiring the rolling hills and beautiful sunset as we began our journey home.

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And I’ll share one more joy before closing out Black Friday. Charlie wanted to stop in San Luis Obispo to go to Powell’s Sweet Shop and Jeff said yes! We decided to spend a couple hours in SLO town and not rush back too quickly. What a fun way to almost end the day.

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Kids in a candy store!

Life is sweet and filled will joy.

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, found all the sale items you were seeking if you braved the crazy Black Friday shopping hours, and are seeking out joy as we carry on into Christmas and through Hanukkah and into the New Year!

xo

“I don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.” Anne Frank

GGG – Day 24 – Family

“Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.” ― Annette Funicello

Gratitude Gift Giving Day 24 – I’m almost done with my daily awareness of what I’m thankful for, not that I’ll ever be done, but I’m looking forward to sharing more stories on daily living besides my gratitude challenge this month.

Today I’m thinking of my crazy family.

My philosophy is to live it up, and love it out. I also believe that we are all perfectly imperfect. It’s ok to make mistakes, especially when we are trying and doing great things, like being kids and parenting.

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This was one of the highlights of my simple day.  Two of my kids came to join me to sit and chat and share stories while I was working on my Christmas strategy.  This was one of the gifts I received from not being busy.  I had time to sit and snuggle and I am thankful for that.

I love that the little one sat on the couch with me this morning and we shared a blanket and ottoman and had our legs intertwined, as he finished his book and I read the Sunday paper, while drinking my cup of coffee.

I’m thankful that Jeff makes my coffee every day and that we have time together before things get busy, as they normally do.

I love the little things that my family gives and shares with me, despite all the daily struggles of parenting 3 big kids with big voices and opinions. I choose to share the highlights despite the daily tribulations that we face and learn how to navigate as we go through the journey of living together.  No life is perfect. We all have our challenges and I choose not to judge and to do my best, despite the chaos that life presents while we’re living it up and loving it out. And if I fail today, tomorrow is less than 24 hours away to begin again and start fresh.

I am grateful for my wonderful crazy, loving, smart and funny family. Life is good.

What do you love about your family?