Rooted in Love

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Today we celebrated a wonderful woman whose love and light touched so many.

Her service lasted for two hours, before lunch was even served, because there were so many meaningful stories and songs and love to share. It was amazing to witness.

She loved life and was the best she could be. She fought cancer and never gave up. They told her she had five months to live and she fought and survived for almost six years, until the cancer completely consumed her.

There were several lessons I learned today and throughout the years from her. The thing that stood out the most to me was how she really lived out her values every day and loved everyone, sharing a smile and conversation and connections, always.

She knew who she was and what was important to her and she lived accordingly, creating the best life possible, for herself, her husband, her family and for all those with whom she associated.

I admire her and how she chose to live it up, love it out, sing out loud, and to love everyone and to be of service. She had a clear purpose and was rooted, solid, and graceful.

God speed, Mom #2. Thank you for being an angel on earth and now an angel in heaven.

“So,there! Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Shine it.” Shine on, bright star.

nAMaste

20Jan2016

The Other Side

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My other mother passed to the other side of life today after a long and brave fight with cancer. I am feeling sad for her family and the end of her journey too soon.

I am thankful that you helped raise me and taught me such great morals and values. Thank you! You were a great role model and touched so many lives just by being you. I loved how you always sent me birthday cards and signed them Mom #2. I loved how you loved your family, especially your husband. I loved your determination to get on your bike no matter what. I loved that you lived out your Christian values.

You are loved and missed. I hope you’re riding your bike all the way to heaven!

nAMaste

7Apr2015

Clouds

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Chase died 6 months ago today and I remember the foggy day and paying attention to the clouds.

Today I couldn’t stop watching the clouds again and their beauty. It rained off and on today and was windy and the cloud formations were stunning.

I even saw a rainbow.

I think the rainbow offers light and hope and peace.

I wish for peace for my cousin and our family and for you.

Love and light.

nAMaste BeLoveRs

20Oct2014

Friends

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“If you have one close, trusted friend, you are truly fortunate.” – Rabbi Earl Grollman

At Chase’s funeral, there were probably over 500+ people there to bear witness and say goodbye. I wonder if he knew how many people truly loved him and were touched by his passing. Seeing everyone there and watching their faces and expressions of love and grief, made me wish that there could have been an angel like Clarence from “It’s a Wonderful Life” to save Chase. I wonder if he knew how fortunate he was and how many people truly loved him.

There were girlfriends, and wrestling friends, marine friends, and football friends, neighbor friends and family friends, teacher friends and coaching friends. He and his family were surrounded by love and caring hearts that wanted to comfort his family and comfort one another. I have faith in our youth. They/we expressed love and pain and shed tears and hugs and it was powerful to be part of the journey together.

Friends and family united to celebrate a dear, beloved, young one. People have been so kind and loving and generous and giving through so many different ways. We are connected through love and pain, joy and sorrow. And people want to take care of each other to ease the pain and to help walk through the grief together. Friends are an amazing gift.

“Grief knits two hearts in closer bonds than happiness ever can; and common sufferings are far stronger links than common joys”– Alphonse de Lamartine (1790-1869)

I am thankful and fortunate for my family and friends, that comfort me and make this life journey a better experience every day.

I wish you peace and love and the gift of friendship that helps to carry the burdens of life.

Namaste.

“Those who bring sunshine to others, cannot keep it from themselves.” – Sir James Barrie

17Oct2014

Chase Varney

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Tomorrow we will celebrate the life of Chase Varney, who is one of our family
members.

Click here to read about Chase: Chase’s Legacy

Today we skipped school and sports and drove 6 hours to be with family, so that we could be together and be ready for tomorrow morning.

We have felt lots of stress and anxiety and fear this week, as well as love and uncertainty. We’ve laughed and cried, sat silently and yelled, missed assignments and appointments and forgot the ice cream in the car. We are a mess.

Losing Chase has affected so many, from friends to loved ones, and to those who didn’t even know him. We are filled with sorrow. With his passing, we are keenly aware that life is uncertain, unpredictable, and unfair, even when you do what’s right. This is not comforting and yet it’s raw and real and we are vulnerable. There are no guarantees, which is why we try to live life to the fullest with love and laughter every day.

Tomorrow we will celebrate Chase and hold on to each other for comfort, as we navigate the next steps that are to come.

Godspeed, Chase. We love and miss you so much and we wish your family the strength to carry on.

Namaste.

9Oct2014

Tragedy

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It was foggy on Tuesday. I was happy to see the grey skies and enjoyed the cool air and putting on a sweatshirt, feeling cozy and ready for the change in seasons.

But who knew that the change was going to last forever this day and that the fog probably won’t ever lift, even after the sun began to shine again?

We have lost a young, loved one in our family and we are broken.

I’ve sat frozen and cried and haven’t been able to think or do much of anything and haven’t wanted to be happy or write or share, out of respect and out of shock. I’m just going through the motions of living, in a fog and waiting. I don’t know what I’m waiting for. I think maybe I’ll feel better once I get to go home and be with my family.

I know how to be happy and I’m learning how to deal with grief, but I’m not doing a very good job at it.

I’m not looking for sympathy. I know that everyone has to struggle in life and that there are no guarantees, and sometimes life can be really painful.

I wish no mother ever had to lose a child.

I wish for peace and healing for my family.

I wish that children could be protected from pain and stay innocent.

I wish you love.

Namaste.

23Apr2014

MamMam’s Funeral

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MamMam’s funeral was today in Colorado and we had to miss it. Jeff flew back from being with his family late Monday night and we would have had to return last night to make it in time. We decided to give the family time together to grieve and share the memories and to plan a special trip in the next month or so to celebrate her life and share stories together, once things have settled a bit. Thank you to all who have sent us well wishes and blessings. We appreciate you.

I usually do ok with death and understanding and accepting how life changes and flows, but for some reason, this one is shaking me a bit more than I would have expected. I truly loved the woman that she was and all that she represented. I admired her for all that she was and all that she gave to her family and friends. I loved that we shared the sisterhood of PEO too, that gave us a common bond.

I contacted her PEO sisters in Colorado after she died, and this was extremely comforting to me. I loved that we shared this connection and that the women there loved her so much. Suzy sent me several emails and told me that she and several other sisters attended the funeral today and sat with PopPop, sharing loving memories of MamMam. By her being there, I felt like I was there too.

I am thankful for family and sisterhood and this beautiful life. Rest in peace, MamMam and bless you PopPop and family as we take the next few steps in this life journey without beautiful Elaine Hughes.

Namaste.

Here is the link to MamMam’s obiturary: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/gazette/obituary.aspx?n=elaine-hughes&pid=170744363&

19Apr2014

Miss You MamMam

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MamMam died today and I have felt a deep sadness all day. It’s a sadness that lingered and permeated by body as I moved through our busy day, when all I wanted to do was to be still and feel her presence. It’s so strange to me how when someone you love dies, the world keeps on moving and not everyone else knows this event happened. I feel like the earth opened up a hole and she fell through and then the hole closed up again and everyone kept moving on, not even noticing the hole and that she left us. But those who loved her, still feel her and the hole in our hearts is huge, and you can’t see that either.

MamMam is my children’s great grandmother, Jeff’s grandmother, and my PEO Sister. She was just shy of her 90th birthday. She loved to read my blog and would read it every day on her ipad. I have loved writing, knowing that I was providing her with a little bit of entertainment and a glimpse into our life away from her and PopPop. My writing and her reading made me feel connected to her. And now she’s not there anymore and that makes me really sad.

PopPop – I know how much you loved her and how well you cared for her and how you both dedicated your life to each other and your family. You both have been and are my heroes and I strive to be like you and her in my marriage and with my family. Just last month you both shared your 71st wedding anniversary and I treasured our long conversation with you both sharing your love and tips for success, so humbly and graciously. I’m so sorry that you’re constant companion has moved on to her eternal life with Jesus and I pray for you to find peace in the days that are ahead.

Miss you MamMam. Love our family. xo