Day 5 – Santa Cruz

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My happy place! I love the beach and just being there makes me happy.

My favorite part today was people watching with my BFF and enjoying the kids just playing. It was sunny and windy so I was a bit cold and wore a sweatshirt the entire day.

Today I saw the beach as a place to build and create and connect. There are free, unlimited building materials everywhere and mixing sand and water is magical. I’ve never thought of it this before this way but today, watching the kids from 0-60 build and play and run and laugh made me smile. There was unlimited entertainment.

Our kids loved bringing big shovels and digging deep holes, making a man cave and a place to sit and hide.

An older gentleman spent hours building a sand bridge. He was like the pied piper, with people coming around to see what he was doing.

Teens were jumping in the waves and then resting and digging for sand crabs, all together in a row.

Our kids were making soccer fields and soccer hole goals and boundary lines and then playing a game together. They used their boogie boards for the back of the soccer goals and played and ran and shot and laughed and then went in the water to cool off.

They boogie boarded and enjoyed the cold water. They were brave and stayed together, laughing and jumping and riding the waves over and over again.

There were women flying kites and naked babies and little toddlers coming over to see what our kids were doing. There was kindness and teamwork and big boys sharing with little boys. There were little ones rolling over and over in the sand because they could.

There were seagulls stealing chip bags and protecting their territory, defending their loot from the other birds. This was so funny to watch.

We watched boats come in and out of the harbor and waves crashing on the rocks. We watched a police boat jet off and jet skiers following them as well and another boat that pulled a broken down boat back into the harbor.

There were volleyball players and football throwers and little ones running back and forth.

The beach is a beautiful place, filled with life and joy and movement.

This is my happy place! Where is yours?

Tired Out!!

nAMaste

23Feb2015

Being Invited

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This kids cracks me up. I was looking for him today and found him perched on his dresser in his closet. He borrowed his brother’s headphones and was creating his March article for the school newspaper, using Google Docs. I think it’s really cool that he chose to be on the school newspaper editorial team and I think it’s funny that he likes to hide and work in his closet. He makes me laugh.

I like to think that maybe my blogging every night influenced his interest in writing too. I love that he shares my passion.

Tonight I was tired and told him it was time to go to bed. He wanted to read with me while I was working and I told him to go to his room. When I came to check on him, he invited me to join him instead.

With his big, beautiful doe eyes he looked at me and said how much he loved me. I told him these were the best words ever and was the greatest gift he could ever give me. He asked me if I wanted to come sit with him on his couch and write my blog while he read. How could I refuse?

I know my priorities and I know these little moments are what make life matter.

Here I am.
.

I hope you had a great day and enjoyed the little moments too. xo

8Feb2015

My Rainy Day Sunshine

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It’s been raining here in California and we are so thankful. It poured all day and made us want to stay indoors and enjoy the sounds of the pitter patter on the sky lights. We need rain and I hope it continues falling all week.

We finally went outside around 2pm to watch Charlie’s basketball game. As we walked up to the gym, we saw this beautiful rainbow. I love rainbows and think they’re so magical. You have to be present to “win.”

After the game, we decided to have a coffee date. But lately we’ve been really into drinking bubble teas. If you want to know more about what these are, check them out on wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bubble_tea We can’t get enough of the tapioca pearls and love trying new flavors. We keep visiting the various tea shops around Silicon Valley, trying to find our favorite mix.

Today Juliana tried a peach tea. Jeff tried a green milk tea and I was in LOVe loVe with my genmai brown rice tea with extra tapioca pearls. The boys chose to go next door for a McFlurry and everyone was happy.

Because of the rain and because of my back pain, we are slowing down and I have to say I am loving the change. Would love for the pinched nerve to disappear, but hanging out together with my family and doing less is actually a beautiful thing.

Love this life. Love the rain. And love my little Miss Sunshine.

Hope you had a good weekend and that you’re rested and ready to move forward into next week.

5Feb2015

Love Wins

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I was and am sad today. I am still dealing with neck/shoulder/back pain and I am not liking it. I am accepting it and am aware that I am aging and I don’t like this reflection of reality, even though I get it.

Instant gratification is not an option. I understand that healing takes time and patience and I have to wait. Ok. I surrender. I just don’t like it.

When I don’t like something, I get quiet. I take time to reflect and feel it and sit with the uncomfortable feeling. I know this won’t last forever, that feelings are fleeting, but even knowing so, I still feel sad, and I stay quiet.

I quietly folded the laundry and did chores after my physical therapy appointment. Dinner was already ready, as ML and I cooked earlier in the week together, so all I had to do was wait for everyone to get home and heat things up.

This created space and time. I was looking forward to sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee and reading this afternoon, since I had “nothing” to do. Whenever I get quiet, it’s like the kids just know something is wrong and they want to be right with me and in my space.

They want to comfort me and want my attention. It’s like they have a 6th sense. My kids are usually busy too, doing their own things.

But when I get quiet and less busy, suddenly they aren’t busy anymore and they become attached. First I get frustrated by this, and then I surrender and all is good. We laugh and play and just enjoy each others’ company.

They love me and I love them and they want my happy spirit to come back. I surrender. Love wins. It always does. Goodbye, pain. I’ve got more lovin’ to do.

20Jan2015

Writing Is a Gift

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Jeff and I went on a lunch date today to Orenchi, an infamous ramen place in Santa Clara. We tried to get there before it opened because there is always a wait. We got there at 11:20 am and it opened at 11:30 am and we were already 31st on the waiting list before it even opened! That’s how popular and good this place is. We were willing to wait and wait we did for almost an hour!

I don’t mind waiting because my phone is always a source of entertainment. While we waited I discovered an awesome article from The New York Times about how writing leads to happiness. I was intrigued as these are two things that have become important and connected to me.

I’ve been writing now for almost 3 years and never set out to be a full time, every day blogger. I write because I enjoy the journey of living and finding the good in every day, despite the struggles and chaos. I hope that through my living and writing to tell about it, I will learn and never forget to live up every moment of this one beautiful life, to love all I come in contact with and to laugh every day and then share my good news. I hope that I can be an example of just one way of living and that you and others might be inspired by me, and connect and perhaps see the good in your own life too.

I have found that I really enjoy writing and taking the time to reflect every night about what was important and what went right. My life isn’t perfect, yet writing about the good raises the bar and expectations and helps me to stay optimistic. When things don’t go as planned, I’m ok and am willing to share those details too and to still see some good in the crazy. Writing allows me to take the time to reflect and to really see what it is I’m doing and experiencing and gives me time to decide if this is the path I want to continue because I’m fully aware of what is working and what is not. And because I’m focusing on the good, I am happy despite the crap that is and will always be part of life. I just choose to focus on the positive and this is very empowering. I encourage all of you to do the same. If not to write and share with others, then just write privately for yourself with your own intentions and see how you feel. Just choose to focus on the positive aspects of life and lift yourself up. See the good. It surrounds each of us and this is the space in which I want to be and want you to join me.

Now that I think back, I’ve often kept paper journals. They have served as a means to understand the complexities of life at any given stage and writing has always been cathartic to me. By writing, we are able to process our thoughts and for some reason seeing them helps me to make sense of my world. Do you write and do you enjoy the process of writing? Do you look back on what you write? Do you keep what you write? So curious.

If you’re interested in learning more about the benefits of writing, here is a link to the article titled “Writing Your Way to Happiness” in the NY Times today: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/01/19/writing-your-way-to-happiness/

Oh, and if you’re interested in the what the ramen was like, it was definitely worth the wait. So savory and delicious we didn’t want to stop eating.

I wish you peace, love, joy and happiness.

namaste. xo

16Jan2015

Today’s Quote

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“Remember to live.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe ~

I found this quote today posted by Theresa on Soul Gatherings. I tried to reblog her post, but I think I experienced technical difficulties.

This quote resonated today with me as Jeff and I remembered to live it up today. We went on an all day date and began by seeing the American Sniper movie matinee, enjoying popcorn and a coke and a really good, heartfelt movie. His birthday got lost in the holiday rush, so we’re celebrating him all this month instead. Isn’t that a good idea? I love birthdays, but those that fall near Christmas get the short end of the stick.

After the movie, we took the time to stroll and shop, hand in hand. We decided to try an Indian buffet lunch, that was very good. We always enjoy trying new restaurants and new food. Today did not disappoint.

I loved that we had time to just be with each other and to live it up, simply and close to home, before the kids came home from school.

I truly felt like we remembered to live in the moment and to be present, and for this I am thankful.

Life is good.

How did you remember to live today?

Hope you have a good weekend. Live it up, BeLoveRs. xo

8Jan2015

Head in the Clouds

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Today I’m thankful that I still have a kid who likes to play in the park. Because of him, I sat outside on a bench before the sun set and enjoyed watching the clouds go by.

Sounds silly, but I enjoyed this moment and was thankful that we were there.

I loved watching him run around and climb up the play structures and jump off the slide with his friend. They were carefree, just playing and running and chasing each other. Luckily I looked up from my phone and magazine to catch these moments before it was time to go.

I’m trying to slow down and do less and today was just the right balance.

I got to clean my house, play tennis and volunteer all before my kids came home. Once they came home, I actually enjoyed driving them to their appointments and making dinner with Jeff and sitting down to a family taco dinner and discussion over candle light.

As I slow down and do less, my kids are wanting to play more. I find this intriguing. Because they see me sitting, they want to come and sit on top of me and want all of my attention. I’ve been fighting this and then wonder why I’m fighting it. I think by the end of the day I’m tired and am mentally worn out. It’s not that I don’t want to play with them, but I feel like I’m a dog and they’re little kids getting up in my face and I just want to snap. How wrong is that? I know it and realize it and fought against it and then gave in. Instead of biting them, I laughed and played and kissed their faces all over the place, so thankful that they wanted to be a part of me and celebrated our togetherness. I’m letting go of my expectation to sit quietly at the end of the day so that I can continue to enjoy the gifts they bring to my life. I am thankful and tired. Thank you to all the mamas who remind me to enjoy these moments because they go by so fast. I appreciate your wisdom.

And with that, I wish you a good night. May all dreams come true.

6Jan2015

Here I Am

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Here I Am.

This blog is about Being. It is about being mindful and present and searching for the lessons, and gleaning the knowledge that is presented and sharing it in a way that is meaningful and hopefully repeatable.

It’s about experiencing life as it happens and capturing it’s essence, every day, never knowing what I will write about until the end, when the credits roll and I can sit back and reflect on what gifts were received.

It’s a great gift, actually. One for myself and one that I choose to share with you, hoping that you’ll take a moment too, to reflect on your own day, your own choices, your own results and find and label the good despite the chaos and struggles that we are presented. I hope that my life story might provide inspiration and ideas because I think we learn from each other and copy what we like in others. I hope you find something you like when you spend your time reading with me. Thank you for sharing this journey together.

I know that writing has changed my life. I just wonder if it’s the mindfulness and gratitude and taking time to reflect every day that actually has changed my life for the better, because I am focused on the positive aspects of life. Every day I take time to reflect on what went well and to try to see what I might do differently next time if things didn’t go as planned. This has taught me to accept what is and to try to adapt quickly and to be ok with what comes my way every day. It’s a practice, and I am not always successful, but this plan seems to be working for me. I wish this for everyone.

I am thankful for this life we have been given.

Live it up. Love it out. Laugh out loud.

Namaste.

29Dec2014

Vacation?

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I was at the grocery store tonight and the clerk asked me if I was working a half week this week. I laughed and actually told him I was working full time this week, because my kids were home from school and this was NOT my vacation!! He laughed and the lady behind me smiled too, pointing to all the food she was buying for her kids and told me that they just won’t stop eating.

This was my third trip to the grocery store today. I took Juliana with me the first two times, and by the third trip, I just had to go alone. Charlie asked if he could come with me, and I thought how sweet it was that he wanted to be with me and then thought more wisely. I needed a moment to myself, even if it was just pushing the cart mindlessly through the store without interruption.

Jen Hatmaker made my day when she posted this on her Facebook Status today: “This afternoon, I snuck out of my house and drove around in my quiet car by myself and ate crackers. It has come to this.” I could TOTALLY relate.

I struggled today between wanting to be in the moment and present, enjoying my kids and wanting to pull my hair out. Juliana noticed my angst and asked me what was wrong. I told her nothing, but I was fibbing and she knew it. I thought about what was bugging me and it was EVERYTHING!! I haven’t been alone in 2 weeks and this feels weird.

I didn’t want anyone else asking my opinion, or asking me to look at something or ask me to buy something. I wanted to be selfish and alone AND be with her at the same time and I was totally conflicted!! Every time I went to move the cart, she was there. She wasn’t doing anything wrong but trying to be with me and shopping with me and I just wanted to be alone with no one asking questions and no one blocking my path.

And then I was frustrated by myself for not enjoying my sweet daughter who wanted to be with me and shop with me and bake with me.

After all, isn’t this my dream come true?? Sometimes our dreams need space. Because this was my dream come true and I felt stuck and trapped and I needed to snap out of it. Quickly.

So I did.

I told her what I was feeling and apologized for being short and explained my challenge in raising teen kids who have their own wonderful ideas and know everything. She wasn’t doing anything wrong. I was just agitated by her presence and questioning that interrupted my thoughts and planning and then I felt badly for being irritated.

I apologized and asked for a little break and she granted my wish and understood. I started decluttering my house and getting rid of the chaos that surrounded us, and I felt order returning to our “vacation house.” Then I suddenly felt better. She gave me some space. I got to work without interruption and she was still with me, baking with her friend. And I felt peace again and told her thank you.

She gets me. She loves me. She understands and validates me and forgives me when I am short-tempered.

This is the best vacation. I am thankful. Just keepin’ it real. Namaste.