Love Wins

I was and am sad today. I am still dealing with neck/shoulder/back pain and I am not liking it. I am accepting it and am aware that I am aging and I don’t like this reflection of reality, even though I get it.

Instant gratification is not an option. I understand that healing takes time and patience and I have to wait. Ok. I surrender. I just don’t like it.

When I don’t like something, I get quiet. I take time to reflect and feel it and sit with the uncomfortable feeling. I know this won’t last forever, that feelings are fleeting, but even knowing so, I still feel sad, and I stay quiet.

I quietly folded the laundry and did chores after my physical therapy appointment. Dinner was already ready, as ML and I cooked earlier in the week together, so all I had to do was wait for everyone to get home and heat things up.

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This created space and time. I was looking forward to sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee and reading this afternoon, since I had “nothing” to do. Whenever I get quiet, it’s like the kids just know something is wrong and they want to be right with me and in my space.

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They want to comfort me and want my attention. It’s like they have a 6th sense. My kids are usually busy too, doing their own things.

But when I get quiet and less busy, suddenly they aren’t busy anymore and they become attached. First I get frustrated by this, and then I surrender and all is good. We laugh and play and just enjoy each others’ company.

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They love me and I love them and they want my happy spirit to come back. I surrender. Love wins. It always does. Goodbye, pain. I’ve got more lovin’ to do.