The Power Of Women

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

Today I am thankful for all the women in my life. I love the men too. It’s just the women that give me energy.

I started off my day with coffee and chatting with a group of women who gathered to share parenting stories. I learned so much from them and didn’t want the hour to end. There is power when women gather, acknowledge one another, and lift each other up. The art of communication and sharing is a gift to each of us.

I spent the afternoon with a dear friend who recently had surgery. Usually she is working and we don’t have as much time to share. Today I was oddly thankful that we are both injured and had time to recover, together. Our routines have been shaken up. I don’t want us to have to experience pain, but somehow there was a joy in this new space and knowing that we are growing old together. We understand each other. It’s ok to be in pain. It’s ok to not be able to do what we usually do, and we’re doing it together.

I came home to rest for awhile before picking up kids, and had a conversation with my mama. She’s fighting a nasty cold and has a cast on her broken hand. She didn’t even know she had two broken bones and carried on for a week before going in for x-rays. She’s my hero. When you’re a mama, you still have work to do, even with a cough and swollen hand. You just keep doing your best and try to rest, and you patiently wait to feel normal again. I was thankful that she understands me and I understand her. I loved sharing a virtual cup of tea together over the phone.

I got to talk with both my sisters today too. Even though we don’t live close to each other, knowing how they’re doing and hearing about their loves and challenges and sharing our joys and struggles makes me feel connected and loved. I love these two souls and am so thankful my mama gave me sisters.

There were emails and texts and phone calls today that made me smile. The power of women. The power of connection. The power of taking care of each other. The power of listening to one another and being a witness to this wonderful, chaotic, crazy life and navigating it together.

Be love. Be loving. BeLoveRs.

xo with gratitude for being wonderful you xo

5Feb2015

Love Wins

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

I was and am sad today. I am still dealing with neck/shoulder/back pain and I am not liking it. I am accepting it and am aware that I am aging and I don’t like this reflection of reality, even though I get it.

Instant gratification is not an option. I understand that healing takes time and patience and I have to wait. Ok. I surrender. I just don’t like it.

When I don’t like something, I get quiet. I take time to reflect and feel it and sit with the uncomfortable feeling. I know this won’t last forever, that feelings are fleeting, but even knowing so, I still feel sad, and I stay quiet.

I quietly folded the laundry and did chores after my physical therapy appointment. Dinner was already ready, as ML and I cooked earlier in the week together, so all I had to do was wait for everyone to get home and heat things up.

This created space and time. I was looking forward to sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee and reading this afternoon, since I had “nothing” to do. Whenever I get quiet, it’s like the kids just know something is wrong and they want to be right with me and in my space.

They want to comfort me and want my attention. It’s like they have a 6th sense. My kids are usually busy too, doing their own things.

But when I get quiet and less busy, suddenly they aren’t busy anymore and they become attached. First I get frustrated by this, and then I surrender and all is good. We laugh and play and just enjoy each others’ company.

They love me and I love them and they want my happy spirit to come back. I surrender. Love wins. It always does. Goodbye, pain. I’ve got more lovin’ to do.

28Jan2015

The Straw

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

It was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

This is an idiom which alludes to the proverb “it is the last straw that breaks the camel’s back”, according to Wikipedia, that describes how a minor routine action causes an unpredictably large and sudden reaction, because of the cumulative effect of small actions. (Wikipedia)

It was going to sleep that finally broke me. I thought I slept wrong and it caused my neck to seize up. But I knew it wasn’t just sleep. My neck and shoulder and arm have been hurting for literally years, with headaches almost daily. I’ve done hardly anything to fix it, except hope that it goes away. Hope failed.

After 4 days of continuous pain, I finally went to see the doctor. She noticed that my left shoulder was an inch higher than my right. She referred me to specialists and prescribed muscle relaxers and told me not to play tennis for a week or two. *big sigh*

I knew something was wrong, and yet I didn’t want to take the time to go to the doctor and to seek specialty care. But denial doesn’t change what is. My positive thinking didn’t make it better. I had to slow down and since I didn’t do it on my own, my body took over for me and stopped me in my tracks. The best part of being in pain is the empathy I feel for all my BeLoveRs who carry pain with them as part of their daily lives. Pain hurts and robs us of opportunity and freedom and lowers our levels of happiness because our focus is on our body and not so much our experiences.

I was lucky to get in with a chiropractor last minute today and was a little scared. I have never been before and I am not one to go to the doctor unless I’m “dying.” He was very nice to me, and explained everything before starting his adjustments. As he started examining me, he told me that my body was in the red zone, and that my nerves were on fire. I could hardly move my neck from side to side nor up nor down. That is not something you really want to hear, and yet it did validate everything my body has been screaming at me.

He noticed that one of my legs was “longer” than the other, which justified the work he was about to do. He cracked this, and moved that and rubbed here and pulled there. It was scary and relieving and he restored about 40% more movement to my body. He said that our bodies need maintenance, just like our cars do and that mine was way over due for servicing, or something like that.

I did notice a difference after seeing him and was thankful for his work and squeezing me in at the last minute.

I need to rest and go back again in a couple of days. I think I’m looking forward to the massage portion of this treatment plan the most.

Maybe that person can turn the straw to gold! 🙂

Be well, BeLoveRs. Take care of your one little body.

25Jan2015

Dealing with Pain

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

Do you have a strategy for dealing with pain?

I don’t and I suck at it.

I get very impatient and am in denial that anything is wrong. I try to pretend that all is well, even when I can’t move and I get very antsy.

I have a pinched nerve in my neck from sleeping wrong and can’t lift my neck easily. I hate this.

I still tried carrying on as usual, but was so impatient and irritable. I stopped at the drug store after Charlie’s game to pick up some icy hot pads and Tiger balm cream and couldn’t handle the kids asking me for anything. I just wanted them to be quiet and to take care of my own needs and not theirs. This felt so weird to me.

I came home and Juliana helped apply the pad and rubbed my back before I sat on the couch. I wanted to rest and do nothing but couldn’t sit still for long.

I wanted to help Jeff make the dinner I was going to make. I tried to help a little bit but paced back and forth more than doing anything really useful. I was thankful that the kids were helping out and I felt weird not doing much. Dinner was delicious and we all enjoyed just being together despite my stiff neck.

I cancelled my tennis lesson for tomorrow, which made me acknowledge the painful truth that I’m not so great today. Ahhhhh. Bummer. This too shall pass.

For the rest of the night, I’m going to lay on the couch and relax and hope that this tension in my muscles will dissipate and let go.

I am not a very good patient and I don’t sit still very well. What do you do when you’re experiencing pain?

Namaste