Goals and Intentions

Today I was listening to some tips from the top from Stella & Dot leaders. I still have my business for another month or two, although I have chosen to go out of business soon, as selling jewelry at home trunk shows is not for me. Learning what you don’t want or like to do is also important as knowing what you do want or like to do.  Sometimes making a choice to change is challenging because there are benefits to continuing what you’re doing even though letting go might create more space and opportunities to try new things.  Can you tell this was a tough decision for me?

Anyway, back to the tips from the top.   I was listening to a Stylist share her success story and how she became a leader in the company.  One of the things she mentioned was being clear about her goals. She wrote down her goals on several pieces of paper and had them everywhere so she could see them all the time. One list hung in her work space and another on her bathroom mirror. She carried one around with her and was always seeing her list. When she wrote her goals down, she wrote them as if she was already there.

For example, if I want to lose weight, which I think I do, but haven’t 100% committed to, instead of writing my goal as, “I want to lose weight.” I would write down my intention as if I was already there. It would look like this, “I am 125 pounds.”  This goal is unrealistic for me personally, but you get the point. She stated where she wanted to be and then worked towards that and all her actions were in line with how she was going to achieve that goal.

So I practiced that today, by setting an intention which I’m not 100% sure is my real intention, but I thought I’d pretend and play with it, outside my comfort zone to see what would happen.

I decided my goal is to become a better tennis player. Currently my level is a 3.0, which should be moving up to a 3.5 by the end of the year. So being a 3.5 is realistic, but being a 4.0 is a stretch, so my goal for myself was, “I am a 4.0 tennis player.”

Just saying that in my head was uncomfortable because I didn’t believe it. But I wanted to practice thinking about it and what that might feel like. When I got out to the tennis court, instead of telling myself I sucked or messed up, I told myself I was a 4.0 and I could and should hit harder. Guess what? I did hit much better than normal. I felt more powerful and more accurate and I played 100% better than my match on Sunday.

I learned or was aware again of the power of my mind in this simple exercise. I tend to forget and get lazy and just busy doing, that I don’t always stop to think if what I’m doing is what I want to be doing because I don’t have clear intentions and just let the busyness fill the space. When I do have a set intention or goal in mind, I feel accomplished and successful and I want to find a way to remember this so I don’t keep forgetting and can be more efficient.

I am setting goals (tomorrow).  🙂

I am a procrastinator!!

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want!  And go make it happen.  xo

Stress Relief

So being that we’re perfectly imperfect, what do you do to relieve stress?

Here are my top 11, in no particular order:

1. Swear! Yes, this is my weakness. So dirty and foul but it feels good to me and helps me to let things go.

2. Wine. I love a glass of white wine at night to unwind.

3. Friends. My friends give me comfort. I love being able to share my life with girlfriends in different circles and share our days.

4. Ocean. When I go to the ocean, I feel insignificant in a good way, meaning I feel so small compared to the big blue ocean. I love the ebb and flow of the waves, the sights and the smells.

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5. Exercise. When I come out of a yoga class, or a singles tennis match, or a long hike, or a paddle on the ocean, I feel invigorated.

6. Cry. The release of tears let’s me let go of pain and stress that I hold inside. When the tears come, I let them flow. Tears are good. I just try to limit them.

7. Date. When I get time to date my husband, I feel happy. It’s the uninterrupted attention that I appreciate and the time dedicated to just the two of us that makes me feel centered.

8. Prayer. Sometimes life is a mystery and there are no answers. In these times and others, I pray to The Lord to show me the way. I say let Your will be done and show me the way. I surrender control and wait for His light to guide me. This is magical.

9. Clean. When I get stressed, I long for order and to remove the chaos of daily life. I start to clean and clean until order in my house is restored and I can think and focus again.

10. Social media. I play mindless games, read Facebook Status updates and blogs, check Instagram and Pinterest and get lost in my non-reality world. It occupies my mind and I don’t have to think or do.

11. Writing. Writing has always been an outlet for me. I used to write in journals. Now I write this daily blog and it’s cathartic. I love the medium and creating something new everyday, focusing on gratitude along the way.

Stay happy and stress free my BeLoveRs.

xo Adriana

Does Your Mind Ever Get in the Way?

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Isn’t this a good question? Made you think, huh?  

My mind never shuts off, but I try to ignore it (sometimes) when I can.  My favorite times are when I get lost in laughter and am not thinking about how to solve problems or to coordinate schedules. Some of the ways I turn my mind off are playing cards and mindless games, where you don’t have to really think and the games start and end quickly. Tennis isn’t a mindless game, so that doesn’t really count, and I must admit my mind does wander on the tennis court when I’m supposed to be strategizing and planning and being focused.  Maybe I could mix some yoga into my tennis – like the breathing part to stay focused. Do you think that would work?

Speaking of yoga, yoga is the other place I can turn my mind off after a few minutes of practice. I love vinyasa/ flow yoga that keeps my body moving and my breathe flowing with my movements. When I’m in the groove, and I focus on my breathing, I can turn my mind off and find inner peace too.  Does this work for you?  I never leave a practice wishing I wasn’t there or wishing I was someplace else and I leave feeling good.  

Today in yoga class I was able to hold an arm balance move that I’ve been trying to nail for weeks. I was so excited because I’ve been so close and not able to do until today. It’s the little things that bring joy. I wouldn’t say I’m good at it yet, but I did balance on my hands and held the position for a few seconds, longer than I have before and it made me really happy and wanting to try it again.

The third place that I love is the beach. I love the vastness of the ocean, the crashing and ebbing and flowing of the waves, the sunshine, and water and just being there. I haven’t taken my paddle board out since I’ve returned to California, but this is another way I like to turn my mind off.

Yesterday I was feeling stressed and my mind wouldn’t shut off. Typically I am happy, but some days my mind tends to stay in that negative space longer than I would like or feel is reasonable and it agitates me.  I want to have an arsenal of ideas and strategies to use when I start to feel down and I so I’m creating a list. Yesterday, I decided to hop on the StairMaster and sweat it out. That worked!  I was much happier and cleared my mind by focusing on climbing 4 miles!

I have a running To DO list on my phone, and at the top of my list I’ve listed seven reminders and thoughts that are important to me to consider before I start actually doing anything. I’m hoping this list helps me to prioritize my thoughts and keep my mind focused on my personal priorities. But first, I have to remember to even look at it! That would help.  I’ll let you know if it works. What would be on your list? 

That’s enough to think about for one night. It’s time to rest.  And as I was writing this, an alert popped up wishing me a happy 2nd anniversary. I’ve been blogging daily for 2 years today! Thanks for sharing the journey – I’m glad you’re here with me.  😉

Waiting

I have three kids and a husband that works at a startup. My routine is to not really have a routine. Our traditions are to not really have traditions. And to always expect things to change. I think that’s how it is with multiple kids and a non-traditional job.

I am a stay at home mom and I spend a lot of time waiting. And because I’m waiting, I don’t always want to start something because I know I’ll be interrupted. I’m trying to be better at this, but a lot of times it frustrates me. But I always look for the good and to enjoy the chaotic moments

For example, today I volunteered at our teacher luncheon. I was helping out while I waited to pick up Juliana. I dropped her off and unloaded groceries while I waited to pick up Charlie. I walked to school to wait for Charlie to be done playing.

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This is me enjoying my walking alone moment and listening to my fun Stella & Dot necklace jingle jangle, which made me smile and take a selfie!

When I came home with Charlie, I sat down and had a snack with the kids. I wasn’t quite sure what to do next, so we hung out together. When I tried to read, they tried to talk. When Charlie started his homework, the doorbell rang with friends looking to play. I told them they had to wait too until Charlie was done with his homework.

They wanted to play outside, but I was mean mommy today and wouldn’t let him go out because the air quality people said we should stay indoors because of the fires nearby and chemicals in the air. Charlie learned about fairness and different rules for different families and I got to hear about it and his protests. Lucky me. And so I sat and waited patiently some more while he practiced controlling his body.

When he resumed some level of calm I taught him about life not being fair and things don’t always go as planned and that we have to deal with the loss and make new fun plans. I mean it’s depressing to miss your scheduled winter water ballon fight at 4:30 pm and it’s really hard to understand why when it’s good outside. Just look outside. Just ask him.

He decided he wanted to play with me instead then and that we should paint. He wanted to paint lawn decorations on cardboard. And so we did. We dug around for some cardboard and he sketched his design. Then Juliana and I joined him in painting in the details. We painted while we waited to take Juliana to her appointment and waited for dad to come home, before dinner.

We filled the time and waiting was good and he taught me something too. Not everything has to go as planned and sometimes not having a plan is good too, if you can be comfortable waiting for whatever shows up. Hmm.

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Christmas Cards – Obsolete ?

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Are Christmas cards obsolete?

I have to say that today as I was writing out our Christmas cards, I felt like maybe I should reconsider this tradition. 

But I love Christmas cards. I love receiving them in the mail. I love opening them and admiring the photos of friends and family and am always curious how many pictures they took to get the one or two or three in the collection they chose to share. I love reading the annual stories and seeing the personal hand-writing, although several cards come as is, without any personalization, which I send sometimes too just because we run out of time, which is what made me wonder if this process is going to go the way of the rotary phone now that we have Facebook and Instagram and SnapChat and all the other social platforms to share our personal lives.

Do we need the physical receipt to hold on to and touch?  

I still think so.

I love to share them all on my real wall for everyone to see.

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When I write out a card, I am mindful of the family receiving our correspondence and I feel a sense of connection and wonder.  Some friends we share cards with are from friendships we shared long ago and with whom we don’t share our daily lives with anymore. The card is a way to stop and think about those memories again.

I like the process of picking out a photo and layout and choosing which words to write on the card.  I don’t like the taste of the stamps, though. This I could do without.

So even though I’m ruining the environment by printing more paper and buying more stamps, I still enjoy this one, simple, old-fashioned holiday tradition because it makes me slow down and be mindful of those we love.

Merry Christmas!

 

7-11

Today is 7-11, the 11th day of July. in America, there is a convenience store called 7-11 and on 7-11 they offer free slurpees, which are frozen shaved ice slushed flavored with syrup. They make people smile!
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Related to 7-11, but in a totally different context, I have a funny story to share. One day I was yelling about something at the dinner table, and Charlie started yelling back at me – “Mom, relax. 7-11”. And I yelled back at him to do whatever I was asking him to do, and he kept saying “7-11, 7-11. Mom, you’re being craZy!” And the more he said this, the crazier I got.

Later when I calmed down, I asked him why he kept saying 7-11 to me. He said that I needed to be more mindful and aware of my breathing when I started to feel frustrated. He said I had to breathe in for 7 seconds and then blow out for 11 seconds to calm my body down. He learned this in school. He’s so smart! Who says you can’t learn from kids? He was right and it works, after you let go of the idea that your kid is frustrating you and teaching you something meaningful at the same time!

Go practice breathing in and out the next time you feel frustrated and let me know how that works for you.

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Namaste.