New Experiences

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One part I miss about living abroad is the sense of adventure and everything being new. My challenge now is to find new adventures and experiences for our family to share closer to home, that we hopefully all can enjoy.

Today we discovered the monarch butterfly migration in Pismo Beach. The butterfly is an amazing creature that knows when to migrate and follows the sun and warmth of the fall equinox. They fly individually and all know to meet up at the monarch grove. So incredibly fascinating to me. There were about 10,000 butterflies there today and there were close to 80,000 over Christmas time. Some of the butterflies are tagged and one flew all the way from Arizona. Their migration path and distance would be like if we travelled around the world 11 times, based on our relative size. Five butterflies weigh about the weight of one single penny.

From the monarch grove, we walked along a path to the sand dunes on Pismo Beach.

We liked seeing the wind formations in the dry and wet sand and looked for whole sand dollars. We considered ATV riding or bike riding, but decided to come back maybe tomorrow as we arrived later than we had hoped.

The other new experience we shared was going to the Drive – In movie theater. The kids had never been and Jeff and I hadn’t been since we were kids. We picked up dinner at Chipotle and brought it with us to eat in the car. In the old days, you had a little box that clipped on your roll down window to hear e sound. Tonight we programmed our car radio to the FM 100.7 channel to hear the movie. We brought folding chairs and blankets and the kids lasted about 30 minutes in the cold before they piled back in the van.

The Lego Movie was entertaining for us all and had a great, positive message.

Of course, I loved it and could relate to the sweet, positive pink unikitty! You just have to see the movie! If you’re looking for a good old fashioned drive in theater, this one is located in San Luis Obispo and is called the Sunset Drive In. Adults are $8 and kids 5-11 are $3. Here is a link to a help review: Sunset Drive In – SLO town

I am thankful that we were outside together, soaking up the sunshine and moon shine too!

Hope you had a relaxing Sunday.

25Dec2013

Today is Christmas

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It’s just after 10 pm and I just sat down to rest and reflect on the day. I typically sit for awhile and check Facebook, email, Instagram, and the news while I think about what to write. Charlie came up to kiss me good night and I wanted to stop and be present and really see him and wish him a Merry Christmas one more time before he went off to bed.

This moment captures the meaning of Christmas to me. Being loved and being loving. And isn’t it great that we can share this gift every holy-day, 365 days a year and it doesn’t cost a penny?

We had a full day of celebrations, with family and friends and enjoyed unstructured and unscheduled time, being thankful.

We continued trying something new today by going to the movies on Christmas, which I don’t think we’ve ever done before. Man, the parking lot was so crowded and the lines for the movies incredibly long. We had to sit in the front rows to be able to sit as a big group with our friends. I enjoyed this relaxing family time together, as everyone was content and quiet, with no interruptions! Gotta love it. It’s the little things. We saw Frozen, a wonderful Disney movie that portrays strong, brave, women characters with a message of true love. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie and recommend it for everyone.

I hope you enjoyed your day and shared some love and light with those near and far.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

3Nov2013

GGG – Day 3 – Nature

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Gratitude Gift Giving (GGG) – Day 3 – How do you enjoy and appreciate nature? Where is your favorite place to be?

“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. As longs as this exists, and it certainly always will, I know that then there will always be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be. And I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles.”
― Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl

Do you feel a calling to be outdoors? Do you feel peace when you’re near the water, the forest, the hills, open spaces?

Where is your happy place? Where do you go to feel like you’re just a little part of this big, wide, open universe?

My favorite place to go in nature is the ocean. I love the sound of the waves crashing on the beach. I love seeing the sealife and smelling the salt water in the air. I love looking out and not being able to see anything else but water and not knowing where it ends. I love watching the sun setting on the horizon and imagining the daylight being transferred to another location on the earth. I love being on the water, especially on a paddle board, but I’m just as happy on any type of boat.

But today we explored the majesty of the redwood trees in the forest of Big Basin, in the Santa Cruz Mountains.

Knowing that some of these trees are older than the Mayan Civilization made me feel so insignificant. Our lives are such a small part of the bigger world, but we feel like we are so important right now! Standing next to these trees that have been around for over 1500 years is amazing. Some of the trees are over 250 feet tall. I loved looking up at them, standing inside a circle of them, and hiking through the forest and admiring all their different varieties.

I liked the shadows, the darkness and the light flowing through them. I liked the old and the new, and even the fallen.

Hiking with our family at this place less than 35 miles from home filled me with joy, even though the process of getting us all out the door today together was quite the challenge! It was worth the work and effort and I think I can say we all enjoyed our family outing.

Today I am thankful for the beautiful parks of California, and for family time exploring some place new. What or where are you thankful for?

22Oct2013

Not Busy and the SLO Life

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I’m living the SLO Life… that’s my new motto… to slow down and not be so busy.

I used to live in SLO town – San Luis Obispo, California and it truly felt like that. There weren’t any drive through restaurants. They wanted people to not be in such a hurry. Stores closed early and it was a sleepy college town. On Thursdays, the downtown turned into a Farmers Market and the students and families and townspeople would gather and stroll and visit and socialize. It was so much fun. There was a sense of calm to the city that I love and miss.

But I’m bringing the feeling back to Sunnyvale. I’m living the SLO life and slowing down, if that’s even possible. I just don’t want to be busy just to be busy. I don’t want to be bored and I also don’t want to be running around from task to task, responsibility to responsibility, from practice to practice, from meeting to meeting. It’s kinda like the feeling you get with clutter, where you need to free some open space because every nook and cranny is stuffed… that’s how I feel with life. I need some more open minutes to breathe and rest and to have more meaningful time without the rush.

I’m still busy and don’t think I can ever sit really still, but I’m slowing down my way, by not trying to do 101 things at once. For example, today I went to yoga and then to the Asian market to gather special ingredients to cook some new Thai dishes that I’ve never made before. I wanted to learn something new and make Rad Na, a dish that my kids love. I wanted to spoil them and make a family meal.

This brings me joy. That was it. That was all I really had to do today. I cooked a couple new dishes and cleaned up all the mess. I had a list that had several other items on it, but nothing else was really a priority.

By having open space on my calendar and by being home, I had time to talk with my mom on the phone for an hour. I wasn’t busy. I could cook and wash dishes and chat. It was an unexpected gift.

This afternoon when I picked the kids up from school, the house was orderly and I had time to sit and listen about their day. I was able to help Charlie focus on his homework and sit next to him and read. When he was tired and feeling sick and not wanting to go to soccer practice, I let him be. And we sat longer on the couch and read and snuggled. Because he said I liked doing that. I wasn’t busy. I wasn’t rushed. I wasn’t pushing him. And the space created peace and rest.

Juliana and I had time to work together on a project because dinner was already prepared and no one else needed anything. I didn’t have to say no, I’m busy. I got to proactively say yes. I got to be present and helpful and had unexpected time shared with my daughter.

I chose to skip my meeting tonight because there were too many conflicts. It was hard to say no and to cancel, but it was what was best for my family tonight. And because there was no conflict, we all got to sit down to a candle lit dinner and enjoy hearing about Juliana’s trip, Christian’s cross country meet, and Charlie’s math songs. Tonight there was time to focus on the important things in life. We did it. We created it and made it our own. Living the SLO life… today until tomorrow?!?

Namaste.

13Oct2013

Living Imperfectly

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This image is from my calendar hanging in my kitchen this month. It says “The real secret to the fabulous life is to live imperfectly with great delight.” The second quote says “the great thing is, once we let go of being everything, we have the opportunity to be gloriously ourselves.” The girl in the picture is holding a list that includes things to do, to be, and to have.

I just love this for so many reasons. I love the colors and textures. I love the art and the quotes. I love the thoughts.

If we let go of expectations and are kind to ourselves and our family, we can live the fabulous life. I love this concept. I’m working on getting enough sleep, limiting over scheduling and exercising most everyday. I’m practicing saying no and being ok with not pleasing everyone. Oh, how liberating despite the initial discomfort. Perfectly imperfectly living in the moment.

Here’s what happened this morning while sitting in my rocking chair, drinking my coffee. Charlie came by to surprise me with a toasted bagel to share, that I wasn’t expecting. Isn’t he sweet?

Today we left the day open with few expectations and the day unfolded beautifully and felt like it lasted forever. Jeff and I went shopping for dinner ingredients. We came home and he smoked some delicious ribs and we enjoyed a quiet family dinner.

Homemade BBQ sauce

And look what Juliana and I had time to bake together.

Magic Bars! My favorite dessert.

I won’t post the picture of my dishwasher filled with liquid soap and filled with thousands of bubbles vs dishwasher detergent. And I won’t tell you who actually did it, but it did provide a bit of unexpected surprises for the day if you know what I mean. We’re still learning by doing, I guess.

How was your day? Mine turned out to be fabulous! I hope you found joy surrounding any imperfections. Have a good week and be gentle with yourself.

Namaste

25Aug2013

Fighting for Family Time

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I feel like I’m doing a lot of talking lately. My kids seem to have very different opinions than mine and have forgotten who is the matriarch and strategic leader of this family who knows best, or at least thinks she knows best. There is an expectation gap that I’m trying to fill and to garner buy in, and it is taking a bit more work than I’d like. I’m sure the mamas with older kids understand my dilemma.

Today’s struggle was rather simple. We didn’t have any kids’ sporting events just yet and our day was wide open. Jeff decided he wanted to attend the Stanford Football Open House event. I agreed, thinking this would be a fun way to get us back in the spirit of tailgating in the fall, which is fast approaching and give us all something to do. We all really enjoy this family tradition, but today they had other ideas. Juliana wanted to bake. Christian wanted to bike ride and hang out with his friend and Charlie was wanting to wage a Nerf gun battle with his neighborhood friends. Secretly, I really wanted to head to the beach on my paddle board. But none of these activities were really bringing us all together to share family time, and typically if we stay home, I end up cleaning, cooking and dropping off and picking up after everyone. The one thing we would all enjoy was Jeff’s plan, but the individual wills were batting with the family will. Luckily, we didn’t give in to the demands and temper tantrums and logic explaining away our strategy. We stuck together and lead our team to victory. The end brought us to Stanford, to enjoy watching the team practice and hearing Coach Shaw address the crowd. We watched the divers practicing at the nearby pool. We got a chance to run on the the field, and even saw Juliana successfully kick her first field goal.

Afterwards, we got posters and had fun collecting autographs and meeting as many of the football players as we could, including the quarterback and the coach.

We ended up staying there all day, longer than we anticipated because we all were having fun. Imagine that.

And to end the afternoon, we had a late lunch and early dinner at the best sandwich place on the planet. If you haven’t been to Ike’s yet, find your way there as quickly as possible. There is one on the Stanford campus, and others near the University of Santa Clara, De Anza college in Cupertino and San Francisco to name a few.

A touchdown for Team Hartley today.

Oh, and P.S., we got home in plenty of times for neighborhood Nerf gun battles, bike rides and evening play. We all win!

How did you spend your day?

5Aug2013

Sacred Sundays

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I’ve declared Sunday to be a family day. Not that all days aren’t family days, but I really want Sundays to be a day for our family to do activities together and to be home and to prepare and share a meal together, exercise together, perhaps go to church together and just BE together. Before school kicks back into gear and all the sports and homework responsibilities take over our lives again, I want to be sure we hold on to our sacred family time. Being together in Europe and traveling together and relying on one another and just being together was something that I really treasured. Now that we’re back in the states, I’m already feeling the tugs and pulls to separate us – nothing bad, but just competing priorities. I know I’ll have to give in and let go, so I’m going to hold on to our Sacred Sundays for as long as I possibly can.

Today we had fun and worked out and worked and traveled together. We got our new cell phones in working order, did some housework and paperwork, and even a little bit of shopping. Jeff and I went for a run together – the first time in a long time, but definitely not the last time!!

This afternoon we took the kids to explore Jeff’s new office and areas around the bay. His office is like a wonderland for small and big kids alike. There are scooters to scoot around the office, foosball and pingpong tables, video games, nerf guns, robots, and snacks that would satisfy any of your cravings, not to mention any type of beverage you can imagine. The views of the San Francisco Bay are absolutely stunning. He is so lucky to work in such an awesome environment, but as Charlie mentioned, we only wish it was a little closer to our house so he’d have less of a commute – which really isn’t that bad, we just wish we had him home with us sooner most evenings. Silicon Valley is a magical place.

When we came home from our adventures, we were all hanging out front of our house and talking about dinner plans. Jeff came up to give me a hug and was just loving on me for a minute, and Juliana must have been listening in. She came up and gave us the biggest compliment, without even realizing it. She said that she loved that we really and truly loved each other, and weren’t just together because we had to be. She could see and feel the love between us, and casually recognized us for that. I got my receipt for holding on to our sacred family time and doing the work and truly loving our family, despite the arguments, frustrations, and ups and downs, which we have many over and over again. I am thankful for the unconditional love we share and create every day.

And with that, we moved inside to talk about dinner, the next event of the day. The boys went shopping and picked out steaks and chicken to grill. While dinner was being prepared, the kids took their bikes to the park to ride around before the sun went down. We all met up at home again to enjoy our family dinner.

Life is good. I hope you all have a wonderful week. 2 more weeks until school starts!

Namaste.

15May2013

Day 294: Family Time And Missing Family

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Tonight I am going to appreciate what I have, even though my mind is on what I am missing. I want to be back in California to celebrate my sister’s graduation from college. I am sad that I’m not going to be there to see her cross the stage and receive her diploma. I want to be with my family this weekend for the BIG party to recognize her HUGE accomplishment. But we are living overseas and getting there is just not possible (as the Dutch would say!)

Kimmy is a single mom, raising two beautiful young daughters, and has worked day and night to accomplish her goal. She is so incredibly artistic and loving and funny and smart! I am proud of her for sticking with it and finishing the work and can’t wait to see where she goes next on her journey. I’m proud of my parents for being so supportive of her and my nieces, picking up the kids from school and helping out to make life a little easier for them. I want to be there too! But I’ll have to wait until August to see her and we’ll have our own private party then. Congratulations, Kimmy Joy! I hope you enjoy every minute!

Tonight I enjoyed my family, all snuggled on a little couch upstairs watching Band of Brothers. Not exactly the feel good movie, nor one you really want your kids seeing, but one we wanted to see together before heading to Normandy this weekend. Our kids are getting hands on history lessons and are making connections between their family and friends who have experienced war first hand. Charlie’s classmate’s grandfather was killed by the Nazis. Our house repair guy used to hide from the Nazi’s out in the Dutch fields, wearing wooden clogs and pretending he wasn’t Jewish. Jeff’s Grandfather, and a couple great uncles fought in World War Two, and survived. Our kids have been listening to their stories and asking questions about what it was like and did they get shot. I’m hoping that by them going to visit the battle grounds, they’ll feel and experience a bit more of our history and make it more tangible and real. Hopefully they will find an appreciation for history and it will help them to study and learn about it in their classes as they grow up. Tonight we snuggled them a bit longer and answered their questions.

Late night sunset

We are thankful for our freedom and opportunity to live in Europe; to see and feel and experience as much as we can before moving back home. Kimmy, cheers to you from across the sea! I love you, girl!

Namaste.

7Apr2013

Day 256: Family Sunday

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This morning I woke up and enjoyed a cappuccino, sitting in my rocking chair, and watching the day unfold. We didn’t have a set plan, besides going for a run together and possibly a bike ride and a family dinner at home. I like Sundays like this. My typical wake up routine is to drink my coffee, check email, check Facebook and Instagram, play words with friends and plan my day while playing.

I read and follow several bloggers and today I met Fionna Lynne and fell in love with her writing.

Check her out: Fionna Lynne’s blog

She had an entry titled 31 Days to Embrace Expat Life that perfectly sums up so many of my own thoughts and learnings. Her Day 10: being family to friends, really touched me. In the short time we have been here, we have made so many good friends. These friends are like our family away from home and I want to be with them and help them and enjoy life with them. As I was reading, I decided right then that we had to invite friends for a Sunday dinner. I would like to do that every Sunday that we are home! Who’s up for dinner?? Danielle and I were texting each other about another event and I asked if they could come join us tonight. Luckily, they said yes, and brought their fun friend Jill along.

I love when we entertain because it makes me declutter and clean up our house as a family. And we are so casual, so there’s no need to stress ( although I always do!) even though it always works out. We made appetizers, pan roasted chicken and potatoes, broccoli, salad with toasted pine nuts and ranch dressing, and bread. Juliana made April’s rum cake and voila – we had a Sunday family dinner.

Afterwards, we skyped with my family back in California. I was so happy they picked up the call and that I got to see them all. It made me cry, missing them! The little ones are getting so big and are so funny. My mom and dad are so loving and cute. I need to hug them again! Soon enough… Thank goodness for Skype!

I also got to google chat with April for a few minutes. The time change is sometimes challenging to connect with each other. But tonight all was good, and I got my family and friend fix, near and far.

Thankful.

Namaste.

29Mar2013

Day 247: Good Friday and Good Kids

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The kids were off from school today. Too bad there were still snow flakes falling off and on today. The sunlight is deceiving as its still bitter cold and almost April! They all stayed home this morning with Kelly’s kids while we played our tennis match. It was the last game of our tournament and we lost in a tie breaker. What a bummer! We rushed home to the kids and skipped the traditional coffee afterwards bought by the winners.

I was going to take the kids into the city to do some shopping at the Oneill store. Unfortunately, they didn’t want to go anywhere. They too don’t like the cold and I think they like being home with unstructured time. Juliana went to the Amstelveen mall where we were so disappointed to not find any shorts or tee shirts. How could that be possible? We went to the grocery store instead.

I asked Christian to plan dinner tonight. I said he had to pick what we were going to eat and then had to print and follow a recipe step by step and I would be his assistant. I would go to the store and pick up his ingredients. He struggled for a long time just deciding what to make. He finally decided on Vietnamese pho. The other two wanted to make something as well. Charlie and Juliana made pizza croissants out of tomato sauce, cheese, and garlic butter. She also made cheese crisps.

The soup was so delicious! We will definitley make this again and I’m thankful that my kids are so fun to be around(most days!)

Love, Adriana