No News is Good News

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I have several friends who don’t watch the news anymore. They don’t like to watch it or read it. This made me curious.

They say they don’t like all the negativity and it’s depressing. I agree with them.  But I am curious about what’s going on in the news. I like to be informed and connected and knowing a little bit about a lot.  But I get why they don’t watch it.  Most of what we see and hear is about what’s wrong in the world when there is so much that is right and unreported.  I prefer the positive news stories and I think most others do too, but usually what we hear and see is the s*&%.

Isn’t that dumb? Let’s focus on what’s right and be happy for one another. I like this model better.

I have to say that I do love to watch the reality tv shows, just so I can feel better about my own “boring” life and to feel like I am doing something right, even though it’s not as “glamorous” as portrayed on tv.  At least I’m not experiencing what THEY are experiencing.  But usually I feel sorry for the people with the crazy lives more so than I feel better about myself.  Maybe that’s what compassion looks like. And my life is crazy behind the scenes too. I just choose to share the shinier, feel good moments.

This is one of the reasons why I choose to write every night, even though it might be boring. I want to share stories of what is working and to share successes, positivity and happiness. I want us all to be successful and I want us all to feel joy and love despite our struggles and pain that are always present.  I want us to learn to let go as quickly as possible so that we can shine our light and love.

I had a friend tell me that she thought my blog was sometimes hard to read because it sounded like my life was perfect and she was envious of me.  I appreciated her honesty and realness. I told her that she really knew the truth, and that my life isn’t perfect and that I struggle every day. I just choose to focus on the positive outcomes despite the craziness and chaos that is my life and I keep choosing to make the time for experiences that I think will create happiness for others, my family and myself and that it takes constant work and focus and refocus. I don’t always get it right.  And I don’t do perfect, that’s for sure. When I mess up or don’t do my personal best, I choose to share what I learned vs. the details of the struggle, because I think we all have our own struggles and who needs to read negative news?  Not most of my friends, obviously.

So that’s what this blog is about. The daily journey to happiness and love and compassion and learning and laughing along the way.

I choose to share the good because that is what positive thinking and positive psychology is all about. When we choose to focus on the good and to rise up as individuals and as families and communities, we can be the change we want to see in the world, minute by minute. When we each choose to do our personal best and to be loving and kind and to do what’s right, we make a difference in this world. This is what I can contribute. This is my daily 15 – 30 minutes of practicing hope and love, shared daily for myself, for you, my family, friends, and new friends. We’re all one.  We all have good news to share, despite the struggles that will always be there. Let’s rise together.

Oh, and if you were wondering where this blog post came from tonight, it came from Chipotle. I had picked up food to go since it was a crazy, busy day and the bag had a story and a quote written on it that caught my eye. The story was called, “A Two Minute Case for Optimism” by Steven Pinker and the quote on the other side of the bag said, “We will never have a perfect world, but it’s not romantic or naive to work toward a better one.” by the same author.  I could relate and connected to this story and was thankful that I didn’t have to cook tonight, for the good food, and for the positive, affirming story.

If you’d like to read it or know more about Chipotle’s marketing, here are a couple links (and I’m not paid to support Chipotle, by the way!)

Chipotle’s Packaging Story

A Two Minute Case for Optimism, by Stephen Pinker

Our Christmas Tree Gifts

We had so much fun making and decorating our Thanksgiving Tree this year with leaves of thankfulness. We decided that we would make a Christmas tree next and decorate it with ornaments that described the gifts we all bring to this family.  We each took time to think about each other and what we like about one another and our family as a whole.  We joked about the negative stuff too and decided we’d leave those off, but that one could be really funny!

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This was a really cool project, especially reading all the ornaments and stringing them on our family tree.

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If you’d like to make your own family christmas tree, here is how we made ours:

– We first looked on Pinterest for Christmas Wall Trees but couldn’t find something we liked. Juliana had seen something on Buzzfeed that used tape and we liked this idea.

– We went to Michael’s craft store and purchased green printed masking tape with a pattern that won’t hurt the paint.

– We also bought precut snowflakes that actually had holes we could use to string them together on purchased twine. We bought craft paper and patterns to copy and cut, but when we found the precut ones, we decided to save time and go with the easy ones.

– I made a free-form Christmas tree with the masking tape. You could make it with just a triangle for the tree, and a small rectangle for the trunk, if you feel this might be easier. Then I cut twine to drape across the branches and taped them onto the tape from side to side, as we created the snowflake ornaments. Once the ornaments were done, I strung them onto the strings and taped them up again.

– The star on top was made by Charlie with pipe cleaners.

– I made a card and put this on the trunk that says, “2014 Hartley Family Gifts” and added more tape lines to tape up the card and to decorate the trunk.

Pretty simple and fun!  If you make one, I wonder if you can share your pictures in the comments??  That would be cool.

Merry Christmas!!  xo Adriana

Rainbows and Unicorns

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I don’t always see rainbows and unicorns, but I’m always looking for them in my mind and once in awhile I find them, both literally and figuratively.

Today I got lucky and actually saw this rainbow over my house and it made me smile.   There is something magical about them.  You have to be looking up to see them and they don’t last for very long, so if you’re not paying attention and you stay inside, you might just miss them.

This is how I see life. There are rainbows that appear and we have to be present and in the moment to see them. We have to go outside and play.

What rainbows did you see today?  What was magical about your day?  Did you slow down to see what’s special in front of you?

I have holiday anxiety in my body. I want to be in several places at the same time and my To Do list is bigger than my To Be list. Yet I refuse to be too busy and to let the anxiety take over. Instead, I  made the time to be present and to enjoy the gifts of presence with my self, my friends and with my family, amidst the chaos and rain and shopping and planning and cooking and cleaning.  This is what advent means to me.

Susanne saved me a place at yoga this morning. I was running behind in the rain and hitting every stop light. I didn’t think I was going to make it there on time, and if you’re late, the yoga teacher puts out a sign saying the class is closed. I was fearful and planning a plan b, and luckily Susanne was able to stall and I squeezed in the door just in time for an awesome workout. Melissa is an amazing yoga teacher.

I had lunch with my BFF Julie who broke her arm. Mom’s are not allowed to go down. We have too much work to do.  I was thankful for the silver lining that she wasn’t hurt too badly and that she had to stay home from work for a few days and that we could see each other. We enjoyed catching up and just being. This To Be list is quite fulfilling and it feels so good to check things off.

Because I was out during the day, I enlisted the help of my elves to get the housework done after school. They are good little elves and worked with me to declutter our house after our trip this past week. We got the laundry all done, the floors cleaned, the kitchen decluttered and the bathroom cleaned. I am so thankful for them.  We believe in work and play, but we have to work first. After the house was less chaotic, I took the boys to the pool in the rain so that they could swim and practice water polo. I have to thank our time in Amsterdam for desensitizing me to the cold, dark, and rain and to go outside anyway.  They were happy and I was happy watching them enjoy each other tonight.

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Finally, Juliana and I went to a Pampered Chef party and fundraiser with my PEO sisters to raise money for women’s education. I loved being out with her, spending time with friends and enjoying shopping for fun new kitchenware.  I can’t wait for our presents to arrive.

As the hustle and bustle and christmas music fills your ears, remember to slow down and enjoy the journey. Make time for rainbows and unicorns, and if you don’t see one this minute, I’m sure one will appear soon.  Keep looking. Never give up.

Namaste.

Accomplished

Jessica Herrin, a wonderfully talented, well rounded woman and the founder of Stella and Dot, just celebrated her birthday after Thanksgiving. She posted a picture of a card that one of her daughters gave her that stood out to me. The card mentioned all the things her daughter loved about her.  I found this incredibly charming.

One of the adjectives she used to describe Jessica was accomplished, in addition to many other kind words such as loving, beautiful, witty, unique, forgiving, caring and strong to name a few.  The accomplished one really stood out to me and I wondered about it.

How did her young daughter realize how accomplished her mother really was? Is this something she heard people say about her? Is this something she says about herself? I liked all the other adjectives too, but this one shined. Her daughter sees her mother as accomplished and she admires her. This is a beautiful thing.

I love this.

Jessica Herrin is accomplished and has accomplished many wonderful things. She has built a successful company, has helped so many women build careers for themselves, given back to the community, and has a supportive husband, and loving and daughters. She is smart, kind, genuine and is also a Christian. She is definitely accomplished in many areas and her daughter admires her. This is a wonderful gift for both of them.

I looked up the definition of this word and it means highly trained or skilled. I next wondered if I was accomplished and how would I know and what would I be accomplished at?

Then later during the weekend, Jeff and I were talking and he described me as accomplished and I stood back thinking this was too weird as I mentioned I was wondering about this word and now he was using it to describe me, even though I never mentioned Jessica’s birthday card and my curiosity.  Weird.

So I wondered some more. How am I accomplished and what do I want to accomplish?

I feel that I am accomplished as a mother now that I have many years of experience and continue to practice daily.  I feel successful so far in my role as a parent, even though there is always more work to be done. I’m sure this is true for every profession. I feel accomplished in my marriage, now that I’ve been married for many years and still love and admire my life partner. This feels good to me.  I feel accomplished in my community and know that I have more to do and will never be done. So yes, I like this word and want to continue practicing this life practice that is my path and I want to continue adding to my list of accomplishments, whatever those might be.

I am getting ready to celebrate the accomplishments of my sisters who are graduating and becoming a teacher and a nurse this month. I am so excited for them and happy to see that their hard work and tenacity is paying off. They have accomplished so much and I am proud of them.

How are you accomplished? What are you highly trained and skilled at doing? Are you practicing what you love and sharing your strengths?  We all have gifts and talents. What are yours?  Celebrate wonderful you. xo  Namaste

Friends and Family

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This sign was hanging in the women’s restroom in San Luis Obispo.

In the men’s room, Jeff says the sign said, “Some call it chaos. we call it family.”

I think we have it all.

We spent a lot of time with extended family this weekend and I feel sad leaving them, even though I am happy to be going home again.

I love being together and embracing the chaos and love that swirl around us, tying us together through shared experiences and laughter.

There were several highlights from our time together, however my favorite was when friends and family gathered outside and held hands, all 26 of us, and shared a Thanksgiving prayer before dinner acknowledging our gifts and our heartbreaking loss of Chase this year. We were able to smile and cry together and it was a beautiful moment of being safe and authentic, vulnerable and real. We were happy to be together and sad to be missing a loved one. Yin and yang.

I love the unique gifts that each person brings to our family, quirks and all.

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I kept reminding myself that we all bring love to share in our own way.

IMG_1952.JPGBaking together.

I am especially thankful to my parents for opening their home to everyone and making us welcome and embracing everyone with unconditional love.

We left their home this afternoon and headed home ourselves. My favorite place to be, besides home, is at the beach. My BFF ML also loves the beach and was at Pismo today. We were so lucky to be able to find each other on the beach and watched the sunset together with our families.

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This was such a great way to wrap up the day and I was so happy to see her and to be together on the beach!! Simple joys, I’m telling you!!

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Life is good!

I hope you enjoyed your own family and friends this giving thanks weekend, and always.

Wishing you peace and love! xo

Resilience and Amazing Women

I want to talk about resilience tonight.

There are so many women that I admire for their resilience and ability to bounce back and rise up and to claim their second chance.

Life happens.

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It doesn’t always go the way we plan. And when life changes, we get to choose how to accept and react to the circumstances we are presented. We are survivors and not victims and I celebrate all those who rise up.

T s graduating with her RN degree next month and I am so proud of her. She always wanted to be a stay at home mom, and when her situation changed, she redefined herself and chose a new dream to become a nurse. And next month, her dream is coming true. Way to go, sister!

K also planned to stay home with her kids until her plans changed. She needed to redefine herself and decided to become a teacher. She’s been working so hard to pursue her dream to become a teacher and next month she receives her credential. Her students adore her and are going to be so lucky if she chooses to teach in their school. I am so proud of your sweet soul.

A developed a program that has been recognized by Michelle Obama to help students fight obesity and to be ready to learn every day through physical fitness before school, as a parent volunteer. She’s developing her program to help other schools across America and hopefully one day across the world. She’s developing her platform to reach and support others and to build a business for herself. Your passion shines!

S is teaching her girls about resilience and love and starting over and I admire her strength and courage to support and love her family as she transitions through life’s changes. You are a great role model.

Some of my friends are in the middle of their struggles and they are walking through the pain and creating joy despite their challenges, and are surrounded by love. They too will rise up in time, when they are ready.

These women are some of my super heroes. They didn’t have to move to Italy or India to discover themselves or to discover their epic quests. They have risen above their challenges and struggles and have persevered and are strong warriors whom I admire. They are providing for their families and loving themselves on a new frontier.

Life isn’t easy. Life doesn’t go as planned. And that’s ok. It’s a new reality. It’s a new story and they are creating history. One woman at a time.

Resiliently.

I am proud of who they are.

We all can have a second chance, if we are willing and able to do the work and maintain our self confidence. Rock on sisters!  You’ve got this!

xo

Oprah – Day 2 Live Your Best Life SJ

I don’t even know where to begin.  I guess I’ll begin with gratitude to have had the opportunity to spend the day with my mama and Oprah and her trailblazers and to listen and to learn and to soak up all the positive energy that was in that space today. I am thankful. I LOVE Oprah and can now check off being on her show off my bucket list. Thank you for coming to San Jose and sharing your light and love with all of us.

Today included Oprah hosting the all day long show with her hand-picked teachers – Deepak Chopra, Elizabeth Gilbert, Robert Bell, and Iyanla Vanzant.  It was an awesome conference filled with love and light and positivity.

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Deepak helped us with a mediation exercise and shared his thoughts on spirituality. He said, “you are the awareness you are, disguised as a person.”  You are not your thoughts. Those you love and dislike are both reflections of yourself.  Make sure your intentions are not only for yourself, but also for the common good.  You should start every day with a list of intentions to help organize your day. If we set our intentions, we can live our life on purpose.  I love that. Sounds just like the daily 5 I’ve been working on lately that are linked to my goals. If we set our intentions, our life will have meaning because we’ll be doing the work that is meaningful to us.

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Elizabeth Gilbert was a breath of fresh air. I loved the dress she wore and her ruby red slippers. She looked like a princess and was in awe of her own life and how she got to be where she is now.  All of Oprah’s speakers were great story tellers.  Her message was that of a hero’s journey. She told the story structure from Joseph Campbell about a restless boy, who hears a call to transform his life. He resists change out of fear and reluctance, yet the call persists. Eventually he responds and enters into the dangerous, unknown world, where he has to cross the threshold into this new world and can never go back to where he came from.  He then faces the road of trials, where he meets all types of iconic characters. He must suffer the darkness of night in soul and becomes broken or lost, loses faith, feels broken and shuts down. Then there comes a supernatural  guidance that arrives and the great battle of life is won.  This is the story line that has carried out for men throughout all cultures. But for women, this story breaks down.  The reason she shared this story is because she didn’t fit this mold. She didn’t feel that she was allowed to follow the hero’s journey, because this was typically a male’s world and women had more restrictions on their lives.

Her message was that we can all choose our own epic quests and journeys to find our spiritual path. She says that even though there hasn’t been a history of women leaders and heroes, that we can be our own heroes and choose our own paths and become the heroes of our own story. We need to think. We need to act. We need to begin.

Oprah was on the stage and kept helping with the transitions and guided us through envisioning sessions of our futures.  She wants us to learn how to be the best versions of ourselves.

Rob Bell is a minister from Grand Rapids, Michigan. He started his lecture with stories and jokes, and focused on our breathe, our life force and made us focus on the gift of just being. I loved hearing him speak. He wanted us to see that our life already is a miracle, just being and that our life matters right now, not in the future. I loved him too.   He reminded us to do everything with love. He wants us to live in the moment  and learn to say no, so that we can say yes to what we really want. Pay attention. Slow down and see your life as the miracle that it is.

SoulCycle was a cool, intermission group that was biking and exercising and sharing soul secrets with us as we exercised and moved in our chairs with our light-up wristbands dancing in the air in synchronicity. Oprah described them as “going to church on a bike.” They reminded me of my friend, Apryl, and her My School in Motion project, getting everyone moving and thinking together, releasing endorphins, getting fit, and sharing a community experience. I loved the energetic leaders and the thought behind their program.

Iyanla was hilarious. She kept laughing at herself and taking a drink to life, her friend. She started out by saying that she loved everyone and that today was all about life. Just breathe. She wants us to have what we want in life and reminded us that we have to do the labor, or do the work to enjoy results.  She reminded us to just breathe and to be willing to do the work that follows our intentions. She talked about all the distractions in our lives, and called them “humping puppies.”  Humping puppies were the distractions that were constantly in your face that you want to go away, yet you gave your attention to. She wanted us to learn how to tame the dogs and to live our best lives by doing the work, being authentic, and being present. I loved her!

Toyota was a sponsor of the event, and they brought up Amy Purdy to share her story of survival and hope. Amy had lost her legs below her knees when she was a teenager due to disease and she shared her story about how she trained and built her own dancing and skiing feet and legs. She was a prime example of showing someone with a vision and not giving up, when life hit bottom.

Kimberly Bryant was chosen by Toyota to receive a standing ovation for her work to promote STEM programs for black girls. She calls her program Black Girls Code and she plans to reach over one million girls by the year 2040.  She wanted her daughter to meet other women working in the STEM fields and none existed, so she created her own. She has served over 3000 young girls to date, who otherwise may have not been exposed to hands on technology solutions.  She was awarded a $25,000 grant to continue her work.

The panel of trailblazers gave Oprah the gift of their words at the end of the show and praised her for her gifts and talents that she so freely gives to the world. Hearing them share her praises filled my heart with joy because I believed in what they were saying and was so happy for Oprah, to be surrounded by those that she chose and who chose her back. This is so important and so cool to me.  Oprah was moved to tears and so thankful.

Oprah lead practices throughout the day that made us think of our vision and what we want out of life. She wants us to find ways to integrate our interests and map how much time we spend doing the different things we value.

I of course, cannot capture all that was good at this conference, but these were just a few of the highlights and I know there were many. I just wanted to share some of what I heard and learned because it was so powerful and moving.

To summarize, every day decide what choices you want to make. Be clear of your intentions and commitment to change. Decide to improve your life and seek out experiences that do just this.  What we focus on, expands our truth. Take time to be still and to meditate and to just be without doing anything.

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“The most beloved person in the universe is YOU.” – Oprah Winfrey

I hope you enjoyed this summary and keep on following me and sharing our journey together by clicking on the link above.   We can transform our lives everyday by thinking positively, loving ourselves and loving others.

Goodnight, BeLoveRs!!

Love,
Adriana

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They All Grow Up

Please slow down time.  I’m loving this life right now.

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One of the coolest things about having three kids, is that as I watch the oldest move through his high school years, the youngest one reminds me that the oldest was once his age and I can see time passing. It makes me be more mindful of the moments.

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Tonight we stopped at the park between appointments because we had 30 minutes to spare.  We went to Las Palmas park, which was closed for remodeling for sometime.  When Juliana and Christian were little, I used to spend almost every week there watching them play with their friends and spending time with other mamas.

Coming back tonight, I admired the young mamas with their babies and reflected on that stage being over for me. I’m ok with that and happy to be where I am now, but every so often I remember what used to be as I look back with fond memories.

But tonight I was there to make new memories with Charlie. I LOVED watching him run around and exploring the new digs. He climbed to the top of the climbing wall, over and back, over and back, three times, without touching the ground, making sure I was watching. He climbed to the top of the highest slide and ran all around figuring out the new environment.

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And I sat and watched him and loved him and got up to tease him and tickle him and was so very happy that we thought to spontaneously stop at the park to play.

This moment made my day. And tonight during prayers, he said, “I love you mama” and pulled his arms from under the covers to wrap around my neck to give me a good, tight hug. And then he said, “Let’s do roses and thorns” and he let me go first.

I told him my rose of the day was playing with him at the park and luckily I didn’t have any thorns today.

He said his rose was playing at the park with me too and that his thorn was missing out on serving at lunch duty today because he thought he had a newspaper meeting when he actually didn’t. He wished he could have worked with his friend Mark, and instead said he’ll have to wait to serve until Friday. We have to remember to do this every night and day.

These are the days.  

Go outside and PLAY and plant some roses, BeLoveRs. xo

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Namaste.

Football and Food Truck Fun

Tonight Charlie had his last flag football game and Jeff was able to come home early to watch it. I was lucky enough to be asked to referee the game.  I printed out the rules and learned as much as possible the hour before the game began.   I was nervous at first, but quickly got the hang of it and enjoyed running up and down the field, trying to remember which down we were on and blowing the whistle in between plays and remembering to throw my arms up when a team got a touchdown!  It’s a lot to remember when you’re a newbie!! I loved watching them play and I loved how the coaches had the kids come up and give me a high five and thanks for being the ref. I love that kids are being taught respect and gratefulness and I loved their little smiles.

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After the game, we lived it up. Jeff had a great idea to go out to dinner and try the local food trucks.  Supposedly they are there every Thursday night near a local sports store.  It was really fun how the different trucks were lined up and we all got to choose our favorite food to try and we even found gluten free options.  The novelty of it made me smile. They had chairs set up and little lights strung across poles and live music playing.  It was a really fun experience and I’m so glad we had the time to go outside and play together.
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I love my family and I love this crazy life.

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Life is good.

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Make time to play and do things differently than you normally do. It keeps life exciting! xoxo

Magical Elixirs

Wouldn’t it be great if you could really drink a magical drink and find your inner whatever-you-need?

I found some drinks today at Sprouts that made me laugh. This one suited my blog:

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I am Happy.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just drink a magical drink to make us happy? What would we do and could we do if we were magically “cured?”

They also had a I am Focused drink. I could use a few of those too!

Focused and happy? Doesn’t get much better than that!

I don’t think we need a drink or placebo to find our way.

I think we need to continue seeking out the good, drinking enough water, playing with our friends, and getting enough sleep. We need to keep doing our work, and we need to keep on helping others and being thankful for what we have. We can package our own magic. We don’t need to buy it, but instead believe in ourselves and love others, and create happiness always.

Have a great weekend. Be happy and whatever you want to be. xoxo