Puppy Love

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

I’ve saved this thought for awhile and today I thought I’d share a new word with you that represents a sort of puppy love.

It’s kind of embarrassing and I wasn’t sure I’d ever share it, but it makes me laugh every time I think of the term.

The word is Wuppy.

A wuppy is like a wife and puppy combined to make a wuppy.

I Am a wuppy. There. I said it. A wuppy. What a funny word.

I Am a wife and kind of like a puppy combined.

I’ll explain. Think of a puppy. They’re so cute and loving and just so happy to see you and want to play and like to go for walks and need lots of attention. They want to kiss you and wrap their body around your legs and wag their tail to show you how happy they are. They look up to their owner like they are the best thing on the planet and are so loyal. And sometimes they bark and make mistakes and messes too. Let’s just keep it real.

This is what I feel like inside. I have all this energy and excitement and I wait for my husband to come home every day. Not exactly 100% like that, but you know what I mean. I am always busy, but I love to see his face and jump up and down and get excited like a puppy when he arrives back home again. Seriously. Not even kidding.

I probably drive him crazy. Well, I did for several years, until he realized that I just love him unconditionally and am so happy to see him every time, like it’s the first time we ever met and this is my normal. This is weird. I know. But I do. I am a lucky dog!

I am so thankful that he goes to work every day and provides for our family and allows me to live out my dream, that I just feel utterly happy, grateful and thankful. Without him, I couldn’t be who I am. He commutes in Silicon Valley traffic and works long hours every day. I don’t.

I get to be home with our kids. I get to make dinners and coach the kids and get them where they need to go, in sickness and in health. He enables me to be the best I can be and for that I am ever so thankful, every day, although I probably don’t tell him this enough. I get to build community and volunteer and exercise and keep our home running efficiently during the hours he’s gone at work, working for the good of our family. Just like him. For this, I am thankful and fulfilled. I am living my dream, thanks to my life partner.

And tonight I just want to acknowledge him as it’s his birthday. I am thankful that he was born and that he chose me to be his wife and to share kids and our life together, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad.

Every day.

I am thankful.

It doesn’t get much better than this.

I love you Jeff. Happy Birthday. And many, many more.

Woof.

10Dec2014

No News is Good News

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

I have several friends who don’t watch the news anymore. They don’t like to watch it or read it. This made me curious.

They say they don’t like all the negativity and it’s depressing. I agree with them. But I am curious about what’s going on in the news. I like to be informed and connected and knowing a little bit about a lot. But I get why they don’t watch it. Most of what we see and hear is about what’s wrong in the world when there is so much that is right and unreported. I prefer the positive news stories and I think most others do too, but usually what we hear and see is the s*&%.

Isn’t that dumb? Let’s focus on what’s right and be happy for one another. I like this model better.

I have to say that I do love to watch the reality tv shows, just so I can feel better about my own “boring” life and to feel like I am doing something right, even though it’s not as “glamorous” as portrayed on tv. At least I’m not experiencing what THEY are experiencing. But usually I feel sorry for the people with the crazy lives more so than I feel better about myself. Maybe that’s what compassion looks like. And my life is crazy behind the scenes too. I just choose to share the shinier, feel good moments.

This is one of the reasons why I choose to write every night, even though it might be boring. I want to share stories of what is working and to share successes, positivity and happiness. I want us all to be successful and I want us all to feel joy and love despite our struggles and pain that are always present. I want us to learn to let go as quickly as possible so that we can shine our light and love.

I had a friend tell me that she thought my blog was sometimes hard to read because it sounded like my life was perfect and she was envious of me. I appreciated her honesty and realness. I told her that she really knew the truth, and that my life isn’t perfect and that I struggle every day. I just choose to focus on the positive outcomes despite the craziness and chaos that is my life and I keep choosing to make the time for experiences that I think will create happiness for others, my family and myself and that it takes constant work and focus and refocus. I don’t always get it right. And I don’t do perfect, that’s for sure. When I mess up or don’t do my personal best, I choose to share what I learned vs. the details of the struggle, because I think we all have our own struggles and who needs to read negative news? Not most of my friends, obviously.

So that’s what this blog is about. The daily journey to happiness and love and compassion and learning and laughing along the way.

I choose to share the good because that is what positive thinking and positive psychology is all about. When we choose to focus on the good and to rise up as individuals and as families and communities, we can be the change we want to see in the world, minute by minute. When we each choose to do our personal best and to be loving and kind and to do what’s right, we make a difference in this world. This is what I can contribute. This is my daily 15 – 30 minutes of practicing hope and love, shared daily for myself, for you, my family, friends, and new friends. We’re all one. We all have good news to share, despite the struggles that will always be there. Let’s rise together.

Oh, and if you were wondering where this blog post came from tonight, it came from Chipotle. I had picked up food to go since it was a crazy, busy day and the bag had a story and a quote written on it that caught my eye. The story was called, “A Two Minute Case for Optimism” by Steven Pinker and the quote on the other side of the bag said, “We will never have a perfect world, but it’s not romantic or naive to work toward a better one.” by the same author. I could relate and connected to this story and was thankful that I didn’t have to cook tonight, for the good food, and for the positive, affirming story.

If you’d like to read it or know more about Chipotle’s marketing, here are a couple links (and I’m not paid to support Chipotle, by the way!)

Chipotle’s Packaging Story

A Two Minute Case for Optimism, by Stephen Pinker

9Dec2014

New Year – What Brings You Joy?

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

I was listening to NPR this morning and caught just the last little clip of a story about a woman from Japan who offered a unique way of thinking about decluttering. Decluttering is a daily conversation, thought, action and problem in my house. We have too much stuff, and decluttering isn’t necessarily helping. I have to purge. Most of us do, and the New Year usually sparks up dreams of tidying festivals.

Instead of thinking of getting rid of stuff, which brings it’s own emotional baggage, Marie Kondo recommends shifting our thinking to what brings us joy and what do we want to keep. I like that concept. If it brings joy, keep it. If it doesn’t, let it go. It’s that simple and I love it. Less thinking and more doing.

Another recommendation is to gather all like things and go through them one by one, instead of going room by room.

We talk about wanting to live in the present, and sometimes all our stuff and our memories holds us back and we live in the past instead of cherishing who we are right now. I love this and I think it’s why I struggle with my photo backup problem. I cherish the past and all the mementos, but it takes time in the present to sort, categorize, backup, print, etc. the old photos. Her suggestion to managing our photo crisis is to only keep 5 photos per day from any event. Typically these five can capture the essence of the memory and bring back the recollection of joy we had in those moments. This is BRILLIANT advice. I shall try this little nugget too.

If you’re interested in learning more, her book is called, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up here.

The link to the NPR Here and Now discussion from today is here: http://hereandnow.wbur.org/2014/12/09/tidying-up-kondo-westmoreland

I think I will start with my clothes first and have a clothes party, holding each piece and deciding if it makes me smile or if it needs to go. I can do this. Where will you begin? I can’t wait to create new space. I know there are clothes that have been sitting around gathering dust and I can’t wait to say adios!!

8Dec2014

Sick Day

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My little one was sick today. He’s been sick since Friday but has been powering through school and the weekend and this morning I didn’t have the heart to wake him up and let him sleep in. When he woke on his own, he still had a sore throat and a groggy voice. I decided to let him stay home and just rest today. This is of course changed my plans, but for the better I think, even though it was challenging to enjoy the moment.

He had big dreams and it isn’t often the two of us have time alone together anymore. So I granted his wishes and let the to do list wait.

We took the time to make French crepes, his favorite breakfast specialty.

Afterwards, I tried to get him to read, but he wasn’t in the mood. I was trying to get the house decluttered after the weekend and catching up with laundry. I was hoping he would entertain himself. But he had other dreams.

I told him about the Kids Code initiative and the Hour of Code week that was going on this week and told him he should look into this. This piqued his interest and no sooner than I had mentioned it, he had the computer screen open and began creating his own PONG video game. He was a natural, thanks to his 4th grade teacher, Jenny Maehara, who introduced this to him last year. She also introduced him to Tinkercad, the software used to design 3D printing objects. I was amazed at how comfortable he was navigating between objects and motions and senses and events. This kid can code! When he got the background, the sprite, the ball and the paddle picked out and chose code to make the objects move, he shouted out, “Wow! I did it!” I loved being there to see him learn and at this moment I tried to not worry anymore about the dishes and laundry and just enjoyed being in the moment with him.

He says he wants to be an inventor one day. I can’t wait to see what he becomes when he grows up. Well, actually, I can wait. He told me in 10 years he would be 20, and I told him to be quiet, that I didn’t want to know that. He laughed.

After he was done with his hour of code and I was folding laundry, he found some ornaments to color which only took five minutes. He was ready for the next craft project. Luckily Juliana had bought a little foam kit to do with a neighborhood friend this weekend while she was babysitting, but her plans had fallen through. I went and found the kit in her room and bought myself another 30 minutes. But of course he wanted to do it together and told me to leave the laundry and that it could wait. He was right. This kids is smart! We enjoyed sticking sticky tiles on the roof and putting the pieces together without any glue.

By the time he was done, I told him I had an hour before having to go pick up his sister from school. I was planning on getting some more chores done, but he thought we should go watch the movie he rented this morning because he thought I’d like it too. He asked me to come watch it with him and who was I to say no? Living in the moment… isn’t what this life is about? And I’m so glad I did. His legs on top of mine.

His little hands rubbing my face and reaching his arm around me to snuggle. I think this is what they call being accomplished, even though it doesn’t feel like that in the moment. Silver linings.

I did still manage to get most of the laundry done, and a workout in after his siblings came home, which made me happy. I’m used to having quiet time alone now and was missing my workout sanctuary. This constant mothering thing is hard and good work! I felt like I had a needy toddler again and did take the time to enjoy him, although I have to admit my head did drift a few times to the dark side. Can you relate? I hope he’s well tomorrow and I sure appreciate his school and will miss my little buddy again. Yin and yang. Thank you for our sick day today, little one. I adore you and hope you feel better tomorrow.

Namaste.

7Dec2014

New Tamales Tradition

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

I’ve never made homemade tamales before today and I hope to make them again because it was a great experience.

My friend Adriana invited several families to her home to learn how to make the labor intensive and time consuming Mexican treats. We were so lucky because it really was fun to be working side by side with moms, kids, and a couple of dads.

Some were making the seasoned masa while others were busy spreading the masa in a thin layer over the softened corn husks.

Adriana made homemade red and green sauces, as well as shredded chicken and pork to use as fillings before we arrived. There were bowls of shredded cheese and a vegetarian mixture of corn and beans and salsa as well.

We had two assembly tables and 4 huge pots with steamers ready to go.

Adriana gave us lessons how to spread the masa in a thin layer, how to not overfill them, and how to fold them and place them in the container for steaming.

We were all eager to learn and to get started, as we wanted to make 100s!

Once the tamales were assembled, they had to steam for 2 hours to cook the masa.

Everyone patiently waited and enjoyed time together while the tamales did their thing. We monitored the pots and added more water as the steam evaporated.

The dog had fun licking up the fallen scraps and looking for more.

I loved every part of the process, even being part of the kitchen crew clean up team. I loved watching everyone work together and creating something good together. There were lots of smiles in the kitchen.

We all were hungry and enjoyed them when they were ready and then we bagged them by the dozen for each family to take home.

I love this new tradition and hope we do it again next year. Gracias Amiga!!

6Dec2014

Antidote to Anxiety

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Sunnyvale Sky

Check out the scenery. This was the beautiful day we got to experience thanks to Charlie and his soccer try-outs this afternoon. The clouds and the mountains and the fall leaf colors in the open space made me say aahhhhhhhhhhh. Namaste. Relaxed for an hour. Ahhhhhhh.

The holidays bring anxiety to my body. I feel like there is so much to do and it overwhelms my body, wondering how it’ll all come together, even though it always does. Preparing for Christmas makes me feel like preparing for finals. I like to do everything BUT prepare and procrastinate instead. My laundry is done. My inbox is empty yet my shopping list and card list and detailed plans have not been touched. Why do we procrastinate when the tasks feel daunting? It’s not like not doing anything is going to help us. I wish I could just dive in and conquer the beast, yet I continue to procrastinate instead and find everything else to do instead. This is a strange behavior! Do you ever do this? I wonder why. I think I work better under pressure, and will probably wait until the last minute to get it all done.

How was your day? Did you do any work? Relax? Explore? Exercise? There are so many wonderful things to do in this world. What did you choose?

We chose to go to the Korean market to buy marinated meats and noodles and vegetables to prepare at home for dinner. We chose seaweed salad, spicy eggplant, noodles with veggies, spicy pork, marinated ribeye, and short ribs. Going to the Korean market is such an experience of sights, sounds and smells and being a minority. Everyone was really friendly and helpful and I noticed how there are different culture norms for space and pace. People would stand right next to me in my personal space. Others would block walk ways and not move, even when there was a cart right next to their feet. One bumped right into me and was polite enough to say excuse me. Others walked so slowly and stopped in the doorway to look for things, oblivious to the fact that people were trying to get out. Once the woman started moving, she walked at a snail’s pace and we patiently waited, curious and dumbfounded by the differences in priorities. Life is so interesting and good.

Here was what caught my eye tonight at the salad bar at the Korean market – anchovies by the pound! Did you see anchovies today? Want some? We skipped these lil’ delicacies.

I was happiest today when I was cooking with my husband, preparing a meal for our family and a friend. We just loved being home, sharing a drink, conversation and making a delicious meal together and cleaning up as we went. It’s the little things that bring great joy. Gifts not gaps. Life is good.

Namaste.

5Dec2014

Lovin’ the Light

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Look at the night sky tonight. Isn’t it beautiful?

Today was full and fulfilling with food, friends, Christmas Carols, Sinterklaas and learning to fix toilets.

Thanks Susanne for the life lesson! I never knew I would be so excited to learn how to fix a toilet.

Love my Fix It Chick friend!!

TGIF – hope you have a great weekend.

4Dec2014

Our Christmas Tree Gifts

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We had so much fun making and decorating our Thanksgiving Tree this year with leaves of thankfulness. We decided that we would make a Christmas tree next and decorate it with ornaments that described the gifts we all bring to this family. We each took time to think about each other and what we like about one another and our family as a whole. We joked about the negative stuff too and decided we’d leave those off, but that one could be really funny!

This was a really cool project, especially reading all the ornaments and stringing them on our family tree.

If you’d like to make your own family christmas tree, here is how we made ours:

– We first looked on Pinterest for Christmas Wall Trees but couldn’t find something we liked. Juliana had seen something on Buzzfeed that used tape and we liked this idea.

– We went to Michael’s craft store and purchased green printed masking tape with a pattern that won’t hurt the paint.

– We also bought precut snowflakes that actually had holes we could use to string them together on purchased twine. We bought craft paper and patterns to copy and cut, but when we found the precut ones, we decided to save time and go with the easy ones.

– I made a free-form Christmas tree with the masking tape. You could make it with just a triangle for the tree, and a small rectangle for the trunk, if you feel this might be easier. Then I cut twine to drape across the branches and taped them onto the tape from side to side, as we created the snowflake ornaments. Once the ornaments were done, I strung them onto the strings and taped them up again.

– The star on top was made by Charlie with pipe cleaners.

– I made a card and put this on the trunk that says, “2014 Hartley Family Gifts” and added more tape lines to tape up the card and to decorate the trunk.

Pretty simple and fun! If you make one, I wonder if you can share your pictures in the comments?? That would be cool.

Merry Christmas!! xo Adriana

3Dec2014

Patiently Waiting

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It’s day 3 and today I enjoyed a day of “nothingness” in my pajamas all day and listening to the rain.

I refuse to let in to the anxiety and instead am slowing down, whatever that means. I loved just being in my quiet house without the sound of tv, music, or kids.

Three things made me happy today:
1) Having the day “off”

2) Making fish stew with leftovers

3). Decluttering my desk area

How did you enjoy your day?

Wishing you peace, love, and light.

Namaste. xo

2Dec2014

Rainbows and Unicorns

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I don’t always see rainbows and unicorns, but I’m always looking for them in my mind and once in awhile I find them, both literally and figuratively.

Today I got lucky and actually saw this rainbow over my house and it made me smile. There is something magical about them. You have to be looking up to see them and they don’t last for very long, so if you’re not paying attention and you stay inside, you might just miss them.

This is how I see life. There are rainbows that appear and we have to be present and in the moment to see them. We have to go outside and play.

What rainbows did you see today? What was magical about your day? Did you slow down to see what’s special in front of you?

I have holiday anxiety in my body. I want to be in several places at the same time and my To Do list is bigger than my To Be list. Yet I refuse to be too busy and to let the anxiety take over. Instead, I made the time to be present and to enjoy the gifts of presence with my self, my friends and with my family, amidst the chaos and rain and shopping and planning and cooking and cleaning. This is what advent means to me.

Susanne saved me a place at yoga this morning. I was running behind in the rain and hitting every stop light. I didn’t think I was going to make it there on time, and if you’re late, the yoga teacher puts out a sign saying the class is closed. I was fearful and planning a plan b, and luckily Susanne was able to stall and I squeezed in the door just in time for an awesome workout. Melissa is an amazing yoga teacher.

I had lunch with my BFF Julie who broke her arm. Mom’s are not allowed to go down. We have too much work to do. I was thankful for the silver lining that she wasn’t hurt too badly and that she had to stay home from work for a few days and that we could see each other. We enjoyed catching up and just being. This To Be list is quite fulfilling and it feels so good to check things off.

Because I was out during the day, I enlisted the help of my elves to get the housework done after school. They are good little elves and worked with me to declutter our house after our trip this past week. We got the laundry all done, the floors cleaned, the kitchen decluttered and the bathroom cleaned. I am so thankful for them. We believe in work and play, but we have to work first. After the house was less chaotic, I took the boys to the pool in the rain so that they could swim and practice water polo. I have to thank our time in Amsterdam for desensitizing me to the cold, dark, and rain and to go outside anyway. They were happy and I was happy watching them enjoy each other tonight.

Finally, Juliana and I went to a Pampered Chef party and fundraiser with my PEO sisters to raise money for women’s education. I loved being out with her, spending time with friends and enjoying shopping for fun new kitchenware. I can’t wait for our presents to arrive.

As the hustle and bustle and christmas music fills your ears, remember to slow down and enjoy the journey. Make time for rainbows and unicorns, and if you don’t see one this minute, I’m sure one will appear soon. Keep looking. Never give up.

Namaste.