Celebrate Good Times

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My Uncle Bob posted my favorite comment of the day on a picture I posted to Facebook. Today we were celebrating Jeff’s birthday and he wrote this about it being a happy birthday: “being with the ones you love and who love you.”

Isn’t that what life is all about? We want to be with the ones we love and love those who love us. I envision a healthy circle of love that never ends, that expands and contracts, and keeps on changing and growing, as long as it’s meant to be.

I absolutely love birthdays, my own and others.

I loved celebrating my husband today. I am thankful he was born and that he chose to share his life with me and our kids. I know that life changes and we never know what will come next so every day I choose love and to always be thankful for the gifts in my life.

Happy birthday, Jeff. You’re still my favorite and I love you. Thanks for being born!!

10Dec2013

Control

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I want to explore this topic as I have a ton of ideas floating in my head about control, but since I’m tired I don’t know if I’ll get them all out tonight.

But I’ll start with this. Do you have any relationships you wish to control? I mean no one really wants to control someone else, because that would be bad. But do you have some relationships where you have expectations about how you want things to go, but they don’t go as planned because the other person has different expectations? Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.

I have a couple like this. I have these dreams and a very active imagination and I build up these fantasies in my head that don’t go as I have scripted. Because there are other smart and grown up people involved with their own set of images and dreams and needs and wants. And sometimes we’re in alignment and sometimes we’re in conflict.

So for some reason, sometimes I want to be in charge. I want things to go my way. But they don’t. And I don’t have control and I don’t like that feeling. But I’m working on that every day. To let go and to let things just flow. To let others have their way and to not expect them to do what I had envisioned. So simple, right? But that letting go part is so hard. And so what? The best thing to do is to listen, be understanding, share, adapt, and flow.

I’ll give you a silly example. Juliana was sitting in the back seat of the car, and I opened the door to have her move up to the front. But she closed the door as I was talking to my friend, and didn’t move. So I clicked the automatic door button again and told her she could move up front, but again she closed the door and I was confused. I thought for sure she would want to move up front. But she didn’t want to and had her reasons, which made sense. I felt like I knew better and wanted to control the situation and felt agitated. But why? Because I had envisioned her moving and it didn’t make sense to me why she wouldn’t move the way I imagined. I felt conflict, on a very small scale, but this is what I’m talking about. And this same story plays over again and again. Things don’t go the way I plan. Duh. I want to be less rigid and let go of my feeling of need to control situations, and just flow and trust my loved ones. Usually the outcome is better anyway and everyone is happier.

Having big kids or being in a partnership, people that we love are going to disappoint us, but not intentionally, especially because they love us and typically have good intentions. They just have their own agenda and free will and usually aren’t thinking the way we do. The sooner we let go and flow and move our ego out of the way, the happier we all will be. Am I right?

Here’s my joy face from tonight Good things come when you let go. :-). Namaste.

9Dec2013

everyday life

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simple.

it doesn’t have to be complicated.

i choose to share my everyday life to share a story of one person practicing living in the moment, perfectly imperfectly, and doing my best.

i don’t always get it right, but the beauty is… there is always just another moment beginning to start and try again. there is hope. for us all. always. and if we don’t like what we’ve done or what we’re doing, we can change. for real.

i laugh at myself. i tell my kids when i mess up. i thank them for teaching me every day, because i still don’t have this life thing and parenting tweens thing all figured out. don’t you wish life came with a manual?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today’s joy was delivered in several ways.

I exercised and felt alive and felt muscles that are building, thanks to Lysia and her TRX training. Thank you.

I sat quietly and had my nails done, because I’m practicing discipline this week. I am a nail biter, and have been since I was 5 years old. I am practicing discipline this one way, and enjoying the sweet rewards of being pampered and practicing sitting still, which is hard for me.

I am also practicing discipline by doing Weight Watchers. I love to eat and drink and be merry. A little too much. So last week I decided to practice discipline this way too. I have to say, I am enjoying living a less gluttonous life style.

The real joy came from being with my kids today and not being too busy.

Charlie had friends over to do homework and they were pretending to be Santa Claus and the North Pole.

Charlie was Santa and the girls were tracking his arrival on their computers, before falling asleep right before Santa arrived at their house with toys. I wish you could have heard the dialogue, as it was too cute!

I made a kid friendly meal for dinner – baked teriyaki chicken with rice, broccoli and grilled pineapple brushed with butter and brown sugar. I sat with them and shared stories and enjoyed them climbing all over my lap, making fun of my stupid, big cheeks that make my eyes shrink when I smile. I love that they want to play and tease me.

When I went to drop off Juliana at her event, I took Charlie with me to see the Christmas lights.

I love that he loves Christmas, and I know I’ve already said this before, but seeing him enjoy it makes me enjoy it even more. Loving this moment.

These were a few of my favorite things… what were your favorite moments from today? What made you smile?

8Dec2013

Presence = Presents

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I enjoyed today. How about you? What did you do that made you smile?

I got up early and enjoyed a cup of coffee in the stillness of my living room, with the sunlight streaming in, all by myself just reading and playing on my phone. I love this time of the day.

We made the time to go to church today, which sometimes is a challenge. Again, I enjoyed the stillness of sitting quietly for an hour with my family and listening to music, watching the little children, and appreciating the art and Christmas decorations. I know a lot of people probably don’t go to holy places as much anymore, but for me, I find joy and peace in sanctuaries.

After church, Julie and I played tennis in the freezing cold sunshine. Sounds like an oxymoron. It was so cold and it took us awhile to warm up on the courts, both literally and figuratively. Our oldest boys joined us and I enjoyed seeing them reconnect and play together, as it’s been many years since they’ve hung out. It was great to get outside and to get some exercise.

I rushed home to change and then Juliana and I were off again to bake with friends.

It was fun to spend some time with girlfriends and to share stories and to hold my friend’s baby. I did not feel rushed and I was happy to be enjoying some “quiet” time without rushing through the malls and trying to shop for Christmas. There’s still time, right?

For dinner tonight, I made a tortilla chicken soup/stew with rotisserie chicken. It was so hearty and warm and delicious. Most everyone loved it. We wanted a quick dinner, so that we could go out one more time, to walk through Bethlehem.

A local church performs a reenactment of what it might have been like in Bethlehem when Mary and Joseph were looking for a place to sleep and to have Jesus.

The Inn that was full.

I got to stomp grapes to make wine.

The show is amazing, with talented and loving actors, amazing props and stage sets, singing and dancing, and live animals including a camel.

You truly get a feel of what it might have been like the night Jesus was born.

Mary holding a live baby in a manger.

Every time we attend, I feel something magical.

The star light shining in the sky over the manger where Jesus was born.

The Wise Men followed the star and brought gifts to present to Jesus, the new born king.

I wish everyone could go and experience it. Tomorrow is the last night of performances and it is truly worth seeing if you are nearby: http://www.bethlehemsc.com/

Merry Christmas. Enjoy the season and be present. xo

7Dec2013

Never Forget

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It’s been 72 years since the attack on Pearl Harbor, in Hawaii. It was a surprise military strike conducted by the Imperial Japanese Navy against the United States naval base at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, on the morning of December 7, 1941.

I think it’s important that my generation remembers the history of our nation and that our freedom isn’t free. The people that fought at this time are now in their 80s and 90s. Can you imagine what they saw and what they had to sacrifice? It’s hard for me to imagine.

I love that my husband and his family chose to fight for our country and our freedom and that he teaches us about our history. He flew the flag at half staff today in remembrance, and for this and our freedom, I am thankful. Thank you.

6Dec2013

The Evening Question…

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“What good have I done today?” – Ben Franklin

Isn’t this a great question to ask yourself at the end of the day? I usually tend to think about what good thing happened today that I’d like to share when I sit down to write. I like to reflect on all the good, despite the imperfections of the day and to be thankful for the experiences I’ve had. I don’t usually think in terms of what good I have created. But I like that idea.

So let me think… what good have I done today? That feels like bragging… it doesn’t feel comfortable telling you the good things I’ve done. But I’ll try to name 3 things:

1. I was nice to my friends.

2. I loved on my kids and listened and validated them.

3. I made my house cozy.

Your turn… wanna comment? Don’t worry. You don’t have to… just thinking about your goodness is good enough.

We all do so many things that are good, but usually we think of what we did wrong. Let’s think like Ben.

And tomorrow morning, let’s start with the morning question:

What Good Shall I Do Today?

Go be good.

5Dec2013

Sinterklaas Visit

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Charlie has been waiting for Sinterklaas to come to our house in California since last month. He has put his shoes out and left notes in them, and sang a few songs, anticipating and wishing that he’d come by. Every morning he has been checking his shoes, and nothing has been there. I kept telling him that I didn’t think he was going to be able to make it to America from Europe, but he never gave up hoping. He has also been pretty mischievous and I’ve been coaching him to behave and be a better listener, telling him that there is no way Sinterklaas nor Santa Claus will be stopping by our house this year, if he doesn’t start behaving better. I think the challenge worked. He has been working extra hard the last week or so to follow directions and to say, “Yes Mom!!”

He reminded me again this morning that Sinterklaas was coming tonight on December 5th. All evening he kept singing really loudly and looking out the window and listening for him, a bit nervously. I still told him not to expect anything, but did tell him that I was proud of him for improving his behavior. The smart kid said to me, “Mama, if he doesn’t come, can you just get me a gift instead?” So cute, but I said no.

He was getting ready for bed and was in the bathroom, and decided to pray to the bobble head Santa sitting on the counter, praying that by the time he got out of the bathroom that Sinterklaas would knock at the door. Jeff heard the loud knock at the back door and called to Charlie to ask him if heard the knocking sound. Charlie was shocked! His prayer came true. He came out of the bathroom, a bit scared and looking around, not quite sure where to look. I looked out the front door, but nothing was there. Jeff said it sounded like the sound came from the back patio door and that the patio light was on! Charlie was scared to death and couldn’t believe his eyes.

Outside the door was a sack filled with surprises. Jeff and Charlie opened the door and discovered all the generous gifts that Sinterklaas left for our family. The excitement and look on his face was priceless.

Hearing him thank Sinterklaas was so cute. He said that he could smell the pepernoten out on the patio!

Jeff and Charlie went outside to look for him on his white horse with the Zwarte Pieten, but they couldn’t find them. They must move really fast.

Photo Credit: Jen Jacobsen, Amsterdam

Oh, the magic and mystery of life, I love it!

4Dec2013

Connecting the Dots

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I love facebook and social media. I love learning and connecting and knowing what people are doing and thinking about and am curious about what they share and why they share what they share and how they’re feeling. I love people and I love that sometimes what others share inspires me and opens up my world to thoughts and ideas and feelings I might not have come across.

I can get lost in the connections that come from one post, that link me to a cool article, that links me to a brilliant author, that brings me to a personal website or blog or pinterest to see their interests and I want to know more, and then back to scrolling through facebook status updates again. This probably happens every day. Does this happen to you?

My favorite thoughts this week were sparked from a facebook status update posted by Cassia Cogger. She shared a link to the Good Life Project that was started by Jonathan Fields and I’m just in awe. This guy gets it. And the stories he is sharing, especially the one from Christina Rasmussen today, are the golden tickets. She talks about how to reclaim your life after experiencing loss, and how everyone experiences loss. She is brilliant. You’ll want to check out her beautiful soul, and leave the “waiting room” as soon as possible. I love when people can use beautiful, simple words and imagery to really describe our experiences that we don’t always know how to label.

My other favorite link I discovered this week came from a facebook status update from one of my Stella & Dot connections. She shared a link to an article posted on the Good Men Project blog about 25 Rules for Moms with Sons that was brilliant too. I hand wrote all her rules down, because when I write with a pen the information somehow seems to feel more important and the process of writing helps me to really think about the words more deeply. She has so many good tips to share and I’ve already started practicing some of these with my sons. Take a peek.

And I’ll leave you with a quote from Tabitha Studer’s rules about teaching your son to read that made me wonder and maybe understand why it is I keep writing every night. Thanks for sharing the journey and reading along with me. I hope you feel inspired and connected too. xo

“…writing words down is a way to be present forever. Writers are transcribers of history and memories. They keep a record of how we lived at that time; what we thought was interesting; how we spoke to each other; what was important. And Readers help preserve and pass along those memories.”

3Dec2013

Giving Tuesday

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I’m not sure exactly what this is, but I liked the idea of it just from the name and that it’s been circulating around the internet this week.

I just decided to look it up and here is what it is about from their website: http://community.givingtuesday.org/Page/About

What is #GivingTuesday?

“We have a day for giving thanks. We have two for getting deals. This year help us create #GivingTuesday. A new day for giving back. On Tuesday December 3, 2013, global charities, families, businesses, community centers, students and more will come together to create #GivingTuesday.

It’s a simple idea. Just find a way for your family, your community, your company or your organization to come together to give something more. Then tell everyone you can about how you are giving. Be a part of a national celebration of our great tradition of generosity.”

That is simple enough and I love the idea of giving. Absolutely love it. Which brings me to the story I wanted to share today without even really knowing it was a new labeled day that beats Black Friday and Cyber Monday. Giving Tuesday sounds so much better doesn’t it? But it makes me want to label the other days of the week… like Hump Day Wednesday and Thankful Thursday and Super Saturday and Sabbath Sunday. I feel a theme coming on.

But back to my story. My youngest is so excited about Christmas. Yesterday after school, he invited his friends to come in to see his Christmas tree after their Homework Club at another friend’s house. He couldn’t wait and was so proud and they just had to see it and all the ornaments and snow globes and stockings hung with care.

He loves the spirit of Christmas just as much as I do. And I love that he wants to share it. Somehow we got onto the topic of giving after he shared again with me everything that was on his wishlist. I felt like I should share the other side of the joy of receiving and teach him about the joy of giving. I explained that it would be a good idea if he planned to pick out some gifts for his family and that we receive joy by giving and seeing that other people are happy too. He thought this was a great idea until I mentioned that he would have to bring his own wallet and use his own money. He asked me why he would want to spend his own money on other people. And there he opened the door even further to learn more about the art of giving and how when we give we also receive.

And so today I told him that I would take him to the Dollar Tree store with his wallet and $5 to thoughtfully pick out a gift for each of us. He was so excited and ready to go right away after school. He brought his reusable bag and he strolled the aisles, shopping away, hiding from me what he had picked especially for me. I wish you could have seen the look on his face and how proud he was when he gave the cashier his items and his own money and his bag. He was adorable and so cute. He picked out one item for each of us, and one Christmas item for himself since I said I would pay the tax.

My happy little Santa!

When he got home, he wanted to give hints and tell us all why we were going to love what he picked and how we could use it and when and where, without giving us the secret. The anticipation he is feeling is so cool to witness and the joy he is experiencing from this giving process is so RAD!!

He quickly wanted to do his homework so that he would have time to wrap up each gift and be the first to have his gifts under the tree.

My heart is full.

My other two children also want to be part of this giving process. Christian and I snuck out alone after dinner and Juliana and I are going alone tomorrow.

This simple gift of giving and teaching my children this art was actually a gift to me. Gee, it really works.

Happy Giving Tuesday! I want to do it again!!

I AM so content.

Enjoy the spirit of giving, especially of your time, your love and yourself which are the best gifts of all! xo

2Dec2013

Finding Joy – Version 2 or 3

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I find joy everywhere, even when I’m mad, although anger slows me down from finding peace. Duh, right? I try to move past what ever frustrates me as quickly as possible because I’d rather be open to the next BIG (little) thing that comes my way and enjoy the moment versus missing it because I’m too uptight about what ever thing didn’t quite go the way I wanted it to.

Managing expectations. Accepting what is. Letting go. And flowing… ah, I can feel the joy returning! 😉

Not that I was mad, but there was a moment or two today that didn’t quite go as planned. But guess what? I’ve learned the faster I can let go, the faster I can accept my reality, and be ok and joyful again. And the thing that was maddening today was a mixed up scheduling appointment that threw me off. No big deal, really, but frustrating anyway. I’ve got to work on being less rigid!! Phew… now that we got that out, I can share a couple joyful moments from today.

The sky was beautiful tonight and the light show spectacular! I tried to take a picture, but the phone lines and wires got in the way and my phone camera didn’t really do the artist justice. But it put me in a really good mood. I was on my way to pick up Juliana from her practice and I was admiring the fall colors all the way home. There are these gorgeous yellow ginkgo trees – I think that’s what they are called and they are the brightest yellow ever. Their leaves are starting to fall and are covering the ground in this beautiful blanket of yellow.

I have one favorite tree in a nearby park that I admire every year and watch it change from green to yellow to naked. We drove by on our way home to admire her beauty and to take some pictures and create some fun. The best part was that when I mentioned my favorite tree, Juliana knew exactly which one I was talking about. We got out to walk in the canopy of leaves and Juliana decided to climb up.

The sun had already set, so the lighting was a bit darker than I would have liked, but we had fun nevertheless. And as we began to enjoy the tree, a friend walked by with her dog and mentioned how much she loved that tree too. She offered to take our picture for us. I love this little community I live in and feel so happy being back home again. There is a comfort that comes from belonging to a place where people know your name. Thanks, Suszi! You made my day.

Where do you find joy? Do you find joy everyday? I’m curious.

(p.s. – this blog was written last night, but somehow didn’t get published and when I published what I thought was my final draft, it was actually an older draft. Hmm… I guess there was a mixup in space as I was writing from two platforms at the same time. I’m still learning… hope you enjoyed Finding Joy – version 2, which was really version 3!)