I want to explore this topic as I have a ton of ideas floating in my head about control, but since I’m tired I don’t know if I’ll get them all out tonight.
But I’ll start with this. Do you have any relationships you wish to control? I mean no one really wants to control someone else, because that would be bad. But do you have some relationships where you have expectations about how you want things to go, but they don’t go as planned because the other person has different expectations? Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.
I have a couple like this. I have these dreams and a very active imagination and I build up these fantasies in my head that don’t go as I have scripted. Because there are other smart and grown up people involved with their own set of images and dreams and needs and wants. And sometimes we’re in alignment and sometimes we’re in conflict.
So for some reason, sometimes I want to be in charge. I want things to go my way. But they don’t. And I don’t have control and I don’t like that feeling. But I’m working on that every day. To let go and to let things just flow. To let others have their way and to not expect them to do what I had envisioned. So simple, right? But that letting go part is so hard. And so what? The best thing to do is to listen, be understanding, share, adapt, and flow.
I’ll give you a silly example. Juliana was sitting in the back seat of the car, and I opened the door to have her move up to the front. But she closed the door as I was talking to my friend, and didn’t move. So I clicked the automatic door button again and told her she could move up front, but again she closed the door and I was confused. I thought for sure she would want to move up front. But she didn’t want to and had her reasons, which made sense. I felt like I knew better and wanted to control the situation and felt agitated. But why? Because I had envisioned her moving and it didn’t make sense to me why she wouldn’t move the way I imagined. I felt conflict, on a very small scale, but this is what I’m talking about. And this same story plays over again and again. Things don’t go the way I plan. Duh. I want to be less rigid and let go of my feeling of need to control situations, and just flow and trust my loved ones. Usually the outcome is better anyway and everyone is happier.
Having big kids or being in a partnership, people that we love are going to disappoint us, but not intentionally, especially because they love us and typically have good intentions. They just have their own agenda and free will and usually aren’t thinking the way we do. The sooner we let go and flow and move our ego out of the way, the happier we all will be. Am I right?
Here’s my joy face from tonight Good things come when you let go. :-). Namaste.