The Love that Binds

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

So many things can and do go wrong.

Things happen every day that we don’t expect, that we don’t desire and that we wish just didn’t.

We don’t get to choose or control all of the events that happen to us and for us.

When we are still and can accept what happens, we are usually surrounded by love and light that comfort us, when we are open to receive it. This is the amazing side of life that feels like a miracle and is awe-inspiring.

Such is the case for us right now as we sit and wait for Juliana’s eye to heal. I know this isn’t the end of the world, but it has stopped us from carrying on as usual. She is suffering and I am waiting by her side, supporting her and providing around the clock care, as we wait for healing and to know the results from her injury.

We did not wish for nor plan for this to happen. Accidents happen. Life happens and it’s up to us how we adapt and respond.

There is good in everything. We just have to see through and past the pain to see and feel the good.

So many people love us and support us through kind words, gifts, visits, phone calls, food and prayer. Thank you friends and family.

We are so thankful for the loving concern shared with our family.

It’s love that binds and connects us to each other and helps us endure pain and suffering.

I know our story is not the only story like this, and that ours is so small, yet it is still our pain. I am not complaining. It just is.

Love permeates the world and I see how love shines in times of trouble.

I’m watching the love from Australians supporting Muslims through the simple connection of offering to ride the tram together. #illridewithyou as the deadly siege occurred yesterday.

I’m watching the support and love flow for the tragedy in Pakistan. #prayforPeshawar #peshawarattack

“Smallest coffins are the heaviest!! May the innocent souls RIP.” #PrayForPeshawar

We remember the tragedy in Sandy Hook two years ago this week #SandyHook.

And I’ve watched the love and support flow in after my cousin’s tragic death.

Love is an amazing force.

Humanity has no borders.

Spread love, BeLoveRs. Keep shining your light. You make a difference.

21Nov2014

Gravitational Pull to the Center of the Earth

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

Do you ever think about your weight and wish it was higher or lower than it actually is? Ok, let’s be honest – most people don’t really think about wishing they weighed more unless they are actually trying to qualify for a weight class in a sport such as wrestling.

But how many of us are always battling the bulge? How many of us are actually satisfied with our weight?

So many of us spend so much time and energy thinking about, reading about, talking about, wishing about, comparing and dreading and losing and gaining and weighing and tracking and oh my what a waste.

What if we just considered our gravitational pull towards the center of the earth and were thankful for our mass as it is, just being? This topic would quickly become boring and we could then spend more time being happy and enjoying what is versus fretting over a mass index.

This was how the dinner conversation with my daughter turned tonight on our date as we discussed body image, body expectations and body acceptance. How cool is that? She was the one that came up with the brilliant gravitational pull connection and then proceeded to talk about body mass index and muscles weighing more than fat and you can see where this conversation went from here.

She didn’t care about the number of pounds reported on any given day when she stood on the scale. She did care about being healthy, muscular, strong and fit. I have a lot to learn!!

I like how this girl thinks. Smart, confident girls rule! Rock your body, ladies and live it up. xo

I am proud.

18Jul2014

Rock Star Determination

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

It took 23 days and Juliana just passed Algebra 1 with a high B grade.

I am impressed and feel happy for her. She set her mind to something, figured out how to make it happen and did the rigorous work. I know she feels happy that she’s done and that she accomplished her goal after working very hard. I think having a goal and working hard are secrets to happiness and she is proof.

She went to class for 6 1/2 hours per day and then came home by 4 pm to rest for a short while before studying and preparing for exams for the next 2 to 3 hours most evenings over the past 5 weeks.

Algebra is a challenging subject to learn and you have to stay on top of the lessons because they are interconnected. If you fall behind, it’s very hard to catch up, especially when you’re covering about a week and a half’s worth of work in a normal class during one day of a summer school class. It was so cool to work with her and see how she was processing the information that was being taught and how she was able to apply what she learned.

This took determination and will power and stamina and focus and sacrifice.

She had to get up early every day and sit in a hot, crowded classroom and focus and learn for 6+ hours. She did it and didn’t give up. She did however have to give up her free time and time to play tennis and just to relax and sleep in like teenagers do and hang out with her friends. But I think she’s ok with it, although I don’t think she wants to do summer school again if she doesn’t have to.

It’s really fun watching her grow up and mature and go after what she wants. I enjoyed supporting her vision and facilitating the process, working with school counselors and principals and even the school district to approve her dream, and spending so much time together in the car and studying together most nights. I think we really bonded over Algebra – that seems weird, but it’s true, believe it or not.

I am proud of you Juliana. Can’t wait to see and hear what you dream up next. Congratulations on your success!!

12Jun2014

Losing

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

I lost my tennis match tonight. I’m bummed but I’m ok with that.

I won the first set, lost the second set, and then lost 5-7 in the third full set. We played for more than 3 hours. I was not tired and I was determined to win. I did not want to lose and I fought and tried my best and just couldn’t beat my opponent.

She was good and better than me and undefeated. This made me want to win even more. The wind was crazy tonight and I didn’t do a very good job adjusting my game. I was off. My hard hits went out and then I’d try to hit softer so they would stay in and then I’d hit them into the net. So I decided to try lobbing which usually works for me, but the wind would catch my ball and sail it out of bounds. I made a ton of mistakes and I lost.

And it was still a great game. I loved every minute of the match and loved my opponents he was kind and fair and considerate. My head was overthinking and I made several mistakes and my opponent didn’t. She hit hard and consistently and knew where to place it. I admired her and complimented her and wanted to play like she was.

We exchanged numbers at the end because we want to play again when the wind isn’t so crazy and changing our game. We enjoyed the challenging, friendly, competition and want a rematch. She said tonight’s game was one of the most favorite matches she has ever played. I’ll take that as a compliment.

I lost. She won. And it was still good and rewarding and challenging and fun. I love competition and I love when the match was like tonight, hard and good and challenging, neck and neck, while still being friendly and respectful. We both admired each other and the game and that’s what sports should be about. I am content, even in losing because she deserved to win and had great sportsmanlike conduct. I was not as aggressive as she was and played more defensively and conservatively and she won. Fair and square. Congratulations Suzanne. I hope we can play again and thank you for the challenge.

The other best part of the match before I go to bed, is that Juliana came to watch me, support me and to coach me. She sat outside and braved the cold and endured some female hecklers with grace and kindness. She encouraged me and gave me feedback before my third set. I am so lucky to have a daughter who shares my passion and endured three plus hours of sitting outside in the cold, windy air and watching me lose, while crazy women talked crap about my game to her. She is wise beyond her years and I am so in love with the tween that she is and he woman she is becoming. She teaches me new ways of thinking every day and I just admire her. Thanks for being fabulous you, kiddo.

Namaste.

17Oct2013

Letting Go…Growing Up

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

It felt like dropping my baby off at kindergarten tonight. Juliana’s on her way to Catalina with 85 friends from junior high school.

The kids are all giddy and the parents are standing by anxiously watching and feeling all the mixed feelings of excitement and joy and fear of letting go and letting them grow up.

They are on their way and we are left behind to watch and admire and wait for their return from their journey and share their stories.

Juliana has the best science teacher who is motivated and excited to share her passion with young ones and is
escorting them, along with several chaperones over night and through the weekend. They’ll drive all night on two busses, arriving in Long Beach bright and early to take a ferry over to Catalina island for some science exploration.

I know she will have fun. She has travelled without us before and loves her independence and time with her friends. She packed herself and is so happy to be going on this adventure. Watching her confidence makes it a bit easier to let go because I know she’s safe and has no fear, but it’s still challenging for me to let go, even though I want to and am. No drama…no fear…letting it go. Letting her go.

You go girl! You’re growing up and I am proud of you. Live it up, sister. xo

4Jan2013

Day 163: Celebrating a Birth Week

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

I think if you have a birthday on or near a holiday, that you should celebrate your birth week, heck maybe even your birth month instead of being gypped the one day to celebrate just you.

We were celebrating Juliana’s holiday birthday, but all the stores were closed on her day and all she wanted to do was go shopping on her special day. She wanted the waiter to sing happy birthday to her, but I don’t think they have that tradition in Portugal. She wanted to be with her friends, but they’re all on vacation too or living in another country.

So we’re just gonna help her to feel special by celebrating her all week and maybe throughout the rest of the month!

April helped the celebration last by sending her a birthday cake in a bag! Juliana has a tradition of baking with April for her birthday and Sydney’s birthday. So this year she sent us our favorite chocolate cake recipe, along with all the dry ingredients already measured out and all we had to do was add the wet stuff. Thanks, April! It tasted just like home!!

Tomorrow if I’m feeling better we’ll continue the party by shopping in Amsterdam.

Happy Birth Week, little miss sunshine!

2Jan2013

Day 160: Chapter 2013: Page 1 of 365

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

I read a couple blog and Facebook posts today that made me think of the new year in a new way. Ann wrote about picking one word to describe your year and Christine wrote about making a to do list versus a list of resolutions. And the title of today’s blog post was a caption from a Facebook image. All of these ideas help us to frame our thinking in a positive way and to be mindful of our gift of time. The Dutch have a saying that basically says in the concert of life, there is no program. We have to write our script every day.

My word for the year is Flow. I don’t think we have control over our life and that we have to choose to flow with whatever comes our way. I am thankful for all that is good in my life and I know how blessed I am. And of course there are challenges – but I choose to continue to accept what is, and to be happy and flow like a river over any rocks (obstacles) that present themselves. I choose to write about the good things, but believe me – my life isn’t perfect. I like to see it as perfectly imperfect. Just the way I like it.

And as for my To Do list, here are a few things I’m thinking about this year:

Paddling across the canals of Amsterdam on my new SUP board.

Learning Dutch with Jeff by taking a class together.

Running every other day and lifting kettle bells again.

Improving my tennis game.

Volunteering at the kids’ school.

Planning some more trips for our family.

Entertaining at least once a month, trying new meals without a BBQ!

Organizing my photos – this is on my list every year!

Sending hand written birthday cards to
loved ones.

Planning a trip back to California.

Finding a yoga class close to home.

Baking with Juliana.

Staying connected with friends and family.

Writing about Here I Am daily.

I think that’s a good start. What is on your Program? Do you have a Word that guides you? I asked my family their words and here was what they shared: Fun, Love, Patience, and Determination. I’m excited for 2013 and am curious what changes it will bring. Aren’t you?

And before I say good night, I just want to wish Juliana a very, happy birthday. We had fun celebrating her today in Portugal, even though the stores were closed. We missed baking cakes with April and Stacey, and are very excited to bake April’s chocolate cake that she sent J when we get back home!

The best part of the day was taking a ferry ride across the water to a little town called Cacihais. It felt like and looked like we were in San Francisco near the Golden Gate Bridge. I felt at home!!

Namaste.

28Sep2012

Day 65: A message from Juliana

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

Finally!! It’s my turn to write, the suspense has been killing me! But anyway, it’s finally Friday. On Friday’s we have a late start day that starts at 9:20 instead of 8:30 so I get to sleep in a litte bit. I mean seriously doesn’t this school know that you need your beauty sleep?:) At school, I really like my teachers, some of the best I have experienced in my entire student career! I have adapted to this school just as much as my previous school and have made many friends. I made it onto the travel volleyball team and so far have gone to The Hague and also have done an overnighter with a host family in Bonn, Germany. We have many other games coming up in Belgium and Luxembourg to name two. So volleyball has been really fun. I am also involved in the school with student council which is a lot more responsibility than being a normal student. I was elected homeroom representative and meetings are every Monday for the rest of the year. You have to plan the middle school assemblies, after school activities, events, dances, represent your homeroom and also have to be extremely involved in the school. I do enjoy being a leader in school.The weather has been getting colder, darker, and rainier each day so there’s been lots of rainbows and double rainbows!

Amsterdam Park after the rain with a rainbow. We got soaked!!

I am taking Dutch and Mandarin as my languages and currently one of my favorite classes is Dutch. I would love to be able to have conversations and become nearly fluent in Dutch by the time we make our way back to California. We have been to London, Belgium, Germany, and all over Holland, we have trips planned for Italy and hopefully France and Israel! I think it was yesterday that our car arrived and our house is feeling homie so with that, we are settling in fairly quickly and nicely. I would love to hear from you all! Miss you all and the Warm California Sun!

Yours from Amsterdam!

Juliana