Monthly Archives: November 2014

Gift of Words

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I Love You.

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How often do you hear those words?

I think those are the best words on the planet and I never tire of hearing them or saying them. I love you.

Some cultures don’t use those words. They are never spoken. I have a hard time imagining that. I have a friend whose family never says these words and I like saying them to her just to see her reaction and to see if I can get her to say them back. This makes us both laugh. Ha! Laughing over love. I love it. And I do accept her culture and don’t really expect her to say I love you, even though I know she does love me.

Do you know there is a woman in Oregon who just opened up a Cuddle Shop where you can go to be platonically touched and hugged and have your hand held and your hair rubbed? Samantha Hess offers 15 minute sessions at a $1 per minute or $60 per hour. She had 10,000 requests within the first week of business and if you try to access her website right now, it just keeps spinning because of the overuse. She has also written a book called “Touch. The Power of Human Connection.” I think she’s onto something. Her website says,”Touch has the power to comfort us when we are sad, heal us when we are sick, encourage us when we feel lost, and above all else allow us to accept that we are not alone. When we experience touch it gives us physical, mental, and emotional well being. It lets us know that everything is alright. For one reason or another many of us do not get the level of human contact that we want or need in order to be our optimal selves. I would like to help bring this into your life. When you have what you need life is amazing!”

I know that touch is different than words, but both are gifts of human connection and I think both have serious power.

We can use our words to connect with others and be loving and accepting and we can use our words to create space and separation. I like to think about and practice using my words to make connections and to be aware of how my words affect others, not that I’m always good at it, but I am practicing daily. 🙂  Just keeping things real. Perfectly imperfect, right?

I just listened to and watched this youtube video of Us the Duo singing Shake it Off. In the video, they have kids holding up signs with the mean words they hear from their peers with their sad faces showing and then they “shake it off” and hold up new signs with empowering words and smiles on their faces.

We can create our realities by thinking and choosing what we believe to be true. We can shake off the ugliness and embrace what we believe to be true about ourselves and not let in the ugly words projected at us. We can choose to use kind words in response to hate and change the conversation. And we can choose to say “I forgive you.” or “Bless your heart. You don’t know any better.” That last one is one of my favorites.

We have power. We get to choose which gifts we give and I choose to give love and positivity through my words and conversation as often as possible and as often as I remember to choose the high road. This feels right to me.  We can choose to reject words too by ignoring them, letting them bounce off us, saying no, and changing the conversation by walking away, asking a question, or just ignoring the negativity. We do not have to engage because we have a choice.  Isn’t that powerful?

Namaste.

Falling Leaves

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I love fall and watching and feeling the seasons change.

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I’ve changed out of flip flops and bare feet and am covered in socks and boots now.

The scarves and sweaters are out and the corduroy pants are on.

There is a chill in the air. The bed warmer is on and the heater hums and warms our house.

The trees have changed colors and the leaves are starting to fall. I love this time of the year.

Today I came home and Charlie was busy sweeping up the leaves and making his first pile of the year. He’s hoping the leaves will last until Christmas. Colorful leaves provide so many hours of free and joyful entertainment! I can’t wait for Sydney and Jessie to come over to build the biggest piles ever!

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I am thankful for the changing seasons and time to bundle up and drink warm drinks and enjoy the earlier nights.

Life is good.

What do you like about the fall?

Giving Thanks

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I just got the Thanksgiving box down on Monday. In the box, I found some of our Thanksgiving thankfulness projects. We haven’t done something every year, but I do have a few mementos. In 2003, we made foam trees. I must have been inspired by a preschool project.

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In 2004, we were thankful that Charlie survived and didn’t take the time to create another project.

In 2005, we made placemats with each of our homemade trees of thanks. They are sitting around our table now and we are all getting a kick out of what we were thankful for back then.

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In 2006, we made bookmarks. I have these hanging on a mirror in another hallway.

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We must have been really busy living and were not that creative in the past 8 years!!  This year we are settling again and are ready for another thankfulness project.

We looked on Pinterest, and both Juliana and I gravitated independently toward the same 3D tree idea. This morning the aha light went on, and after yoga I went to the craft store to get supplies and came home and began building our Thankful Tree to surprise the kids before they came home.

Later while I was out running errands, Charlie decided to adopt the tree and made it his own. He decided our tree needed birds, and proceeded to find the ones he liked, printed them, cut them out and attached them to our tree before asking what anyone thought of his idea. I loved his creativity and independence, even though this idea was NOT on pinterest and was NOT mine! Juliana was clearly bothered by his creative freedom and wanted them removed. Even though I preferred our simple tree idea, I loved his personal touch and ownership of our family project and I didn’t want to take away from his creativity. The birds stayed.  

We are creating our leaves of thanks and adding them as we think of ideas. I can’t wait to see how our tree grows.

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We have so much to be thankful for. I hope the tree is overflowing in abundance and I wish you happiness, good health and peace.

What are you thankful for this year?

xo Happy Thanksgiving next week!  xo

Meeting People Where They Are At

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I learned this lesson today at Charlie’s drum lesson and final recital.

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There was this super annoying, smart, loquacious child who kept interrupting the lessons every week to ask questions, give commentary and issue commands. Literally. He used this word, command.

The teacher asked if the class had any questions before they began and he replied that he didn’t have any questions, but he did have a command. What? Who says that? And the teacher calmly replied with a question, “You have a command?”  And the boy, proceeded with his command:  “Yes. I have a command that you play the electric guitar a little bit more quietly because it’s too loud.”  He wasn’t trying to be bossy. He just wanted control of his environment and was uncomfortable with the loudness of the guitar playing without the accompaniment of the drum banging little angels.

I thought I was coming to observe and enjoy Charlie’s last drum lesson today. I wasn’t planning on learning a life lesson by watching the instructor react to this student. This teacher never showed any negative emotion to the constant questioning and planning and interruptions that this little boy offered.  Instead, the instructor met him where he was at. He replied with kindness and explained why the guitar sounded louder than usual and reassured him that if after the drums joined in and he still felt it was too loud, that he would adjust the sound of the amplifier. He then showed by example how the two groups worked together and helped the boy to be comfortable.

When the boy was leading in and playing ahead, he gently explained that this might be confusing to the other players as to when to begin and that it actually confused him too. He explained how the boys behavior affected the group and never passed judgement. When the boy would ask to ad-lib, he would gently tell him that eventually that might be a good idea, but for now they were probably good working on the standard piece and that one day they would learn that skill.

When the kid started talking and thinking about other things they should try, the teacher just gently reminded him that they were there to drum and that he could think a little less right now and just drum. The kid always responded in a positive way and did what was expected of him. There wasn’t ever a power struggle. This instructor was amazing and patient and loving and kind and talented.

Tonight I was thankful that he chose to teach in so many ways and I’m going to miss drum lessons!

Last One of the Oprah Highlights

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So Jen asked me to share the questions that were presented in our workbooks at the Oprah Conference this weekend. Here they are:

“Part 1 – Awakening to the The Life You Want

Your beliefs.

Your heart’s desire.

Who you are meant to be.

Close your eyes. Picture someone you love. See their face. What do you wish for them?”

We were asked to dream of someone we really truly love. We were asked to envision their life and all that we wish for their happiness. Oprah walked us through the visualization of all the things we could imagine for this person and we were asked to write everything down in our workbook.  She wanted us to see where they lived, what they did, what kind of car they drove, what kind of house they would live in. She wanted us to see goodness for this person.

After we wrote for awhile, she walked around the stadium looking over shoulders and invited a couple people up on stage to share their story. As people shared their hopes and dreams for their loved ones, she asked us what we thought the intention was. She revealed that what we wished for our loved one was what we wished for ourselves.  She wants us to think highly of ourselves and to dream BIG!

Part 2 was designed to see our life today.  There was an A, B, and C part to this exercise.

In part a, we were asked to think about all the areas of our life today and she presented us a list. We were to circle the ones that were the most important ingredients for the life we want and there were spaces to add our own ideas. Her list included friendship, body/health/well-being, Occupation – inside or outside the home, hobbies and passion, financial situation, home, spouse/mate/partner, family/children/grandchildren/parents, contribution to the world, and spirituality/faith/beliefs.

There was then a circle in the middle of the page that represented our life circle. We were to divide it into slices based on the areas we chose from the list above. Big slices meant that they were very important to us. Small slices were less important.

My circle had “Here I Am” in the center circle and all the areas of my life that were important, spiraled around my heart center. I didn’t quite follow directions as this depicted my reality more than the slices.

After we divided up the pie, we were to mark each slice based on how we felt about that area with a happy face, representing good feelings, a straight face which represented so-so feelings, and a sad face that represented bad feelings.  This represented our life circle.

There was a quote on the side of the page that said:

“Having the best things is no substitute for having the best life.

When you can let go of the desire to acquire, you know you are really on your way.” – Oprah

The last part was about creating a new vision. In this section was a checkerboard with images and phrases. Step 1 in creating a new vision was to choose the language we choose to speak to ourselves. If we say, “I’m tired.”, we will be tired. If we choose, “I choose happiness.”. then we are on our way to experience happiness.  To tell a new story starts with changing our language and she wanted us to be aware of the words we choose to describe how we feel about ourselves. We were to cross out the language we wanted to stop using and to circle the words and ideas we wanted to use more often.

We didn’t finish step 2, but that part was to help us capture our new vision. We were to think about what we wished for originally in our life in Part 1 and then reflect on the life circle we want to build. And finally we were to use our new language to write down a vision for ourself living the life we want.  What life do you envision for yourself? I hope your dreams come true.

“With every experience, you alone are painting your own canvas – thought by thought, choice by choice.” – Oprah

Together we rise.

xo

Oprah – Day 2 Live Your Best Life SJ

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I don’t even know where to begin.  I guess I’ll begin with gratitude to have had the opportunity to spend the day with my mama and Oprah and her trailblazers and to listen and to learn and to soak up all the positive energy that was in that space today. I am thankful. I LOVE Oprah and can now check off being on her show off my bucket list. Thank you for coming to San Jose and sharing your light and love with all of us.

Today included Oprah hosting the all day long show with her hand-picked teachers – Deepak Chopra, Elizabeth Gilbert, Robert Bell, and Iyanla Vanzant.  It was an awesome conference filled with love and light and positivity.

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Deepak helped us with a mediation exercise and shared his thoughts on spirituality. He said, “you are the awareness you are, disguised as a person.”  You are not your thoughts. Those you love and dislike are both reflections of yourself.  Make sure your intentions are not only for yourself, but also for the common good.  You should start every day with a list of intentions to help organize your day. If we set our intentions, we can live our life on purpose.  I love that. Sounds just like the daily 5 I’ve been working on lately that are linked to my goals. If we set our intentions, our life will have meaning because we’ll be doing the work that is meaningful to us.

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Elizabeth Gilbert was a breath of fresh air. I loved the dress she wore and her ruby red slippers. She looked like a princess and was in awe of her own life and how she got to be where she is now.  All of Oprah’s speakers were great story tellers.  Her message was that of a hero’s journey. She told the story structure from Joseph Campbell about a restless boy, who hears a call to transform his life. He resists change out of fear and reluctance, yet the call persists. Eventually he responds and enters into the dangerous, unknown world, where he has to cross the threshold into this new world and can never go back to where he came from.  He then faces the road of trials, where he meets all types of iconic characters. He must suffer the darkness of night in soul and becomes broken or lost, loses faith, feels broken and shuts down. Then there comes a supernatural  guidance that arrives and the great battle of life is won.  This is the story line that has carried out for men throughout all cultures. But for women, this story breaks down.  The reason she shared this story is because she didn’t fit this mold. She didn’t feel that she was allowed to follow the hero’s journey, because this was typically a male’s world and women had more restrictions on their lives.

Her message was that we can all choose our own epic quests and journeys to find our spiritual path. She says that even though there hasn’t been a history of women leaders and heroes, that we can be our own heroes and choose our own paths and become the heroes of our own story. We need to think. We need to act. We need to begin.

Oprah was on the stage and kept helping with the transitions and guided us through envisioning sessions of our futures.  She wants us to learn how to be the best versions of ourselves.

Rob Bell is a minister from Grand Rapids, Michigan. He started his lecture with stories and jokes, and focused on our breathe, our life force and made us focus on the gift of just being. I loved hearing him speak. He wanted us to see that our life already is a miracle, just being and that our life matters right now, not in the future. I loved him too.   He reminded us to do everything with love. He wants us to live in the moment  and learn to say no, so that we can say yes to what we really want. Pay attention. Slow down and see your life as the miracle that it is.

SoulCycle was a cool, intermission group that was biking and exercising and sharing soul secrets with us as we exercised and moved in our chairs with our light-up wristbands dancing in the air in synchronicity. Oprah described them as “going to church on a bike.” They reminded me of my friend, Apryl, and her My School in Motion project, getting everyone moving and thinking together, releasing endorphins, getting fit, and sharing a community experience. I loved the energetic leaders and the thought behind their program.

Iyanla was hilarious. She kept laughing at herself and taking a drink to life, her friend. She started out by saying that she loved everyone and that today was all about life. Just breathe. She wants us to have what we want in life and reminded us that we have to do the labor, or do the work to enjoy results.  She reminded us to just breathe and to be willing to do the work that follows our intentions. She talked about all the distractions in our lives, and called them “humping puppies.”  Humping puppies were the distractions that were constantly in your face that you want to go away, yet you gave your attention to. She wanted us to learn how to tame the dogs and to live our best lives by doing the work, being authentic, and being present. I loved her!

Toyota was a sponsor of the event, and they brought up Amy Purdy to share her story of survival and hope. Amy had lost her legs below her knees when she was a teenager due to disease and she shared her story about how she trained and built her own dancing and skiing feet and legs. She was a prime example of showing someone with a vision and not giving up, when life hit bottom.

Kimberly Bryant was chosen by Toyota to receive a standing ovation for her work to promote STEM programs for black girls. She calls her program Black Girls Code and she plans to reach over one million girls by the year 2040.  She wanted her daughter to meet other women working in the STEM fields and none existed, so she created her own. She has served over 3000 young girls to date, who otherwise may have not been exposed to hands on technology solutions.  She was awarded a $25,000 grant to continue her work.

The panel of trailblazers gave Oprah the gift of their words at the end of the show and praised her for her gifts and talents that she so freely gives to the world. Hearing them share her praises filled my heart with joy because I believed in what they were saying and was so happy for Oprah, to be surrounded by those that she chose and who chose her back. This is so important and so cool to me.  Oprah was moved to tears and so thankful.

Oprah lead practices throughout the day that made us think of our vision and what we want out of life. She wants us to find ways to integrate our interests and map how much time we spend doing the different things we value.

I of course, cannot capture all that was good at this conference, but these were just a few of the highlights and I know there were many. I just wanted to share some of what I heard and learned because it was so powerful and moving.

To summarize, every day decide what choices you want to make. Be clear of your intentions and commitment to change. Decide to improve your life and seek out experiences that do just this.  What we focus on, expands our truth. Take time to be still and to meditate and to just be without doing anything.

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“The most beloved person in the universe is YOU.” – Oprah Winfrey

I hope you enjoyed this summary and keep on following me and sharing our journey together by clicking on the link above.   We can transform our lives everyday by thinking positively, loving ourselves and loving others.

Goodnight, BeLoveRs!!

Love,
Adriana

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Oprah – Live Your Best Life Tour – San Jose

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Oh my gosh, I’m just back from the finale, Oprah Live Your Best Life Tour in San Jose and am on such a high.

I love Oprah. I always have and it was on my bucket list to go see her one day and today my dream came true. She did not disappoint.

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She is such a good storyteller and is very authentic and real and vulnerable and amazing.  She gets life and I’m in awe of her grace.

She spoke for two hours to a sold out crowd and we’re going back tomorrow to listen to more master blaster trailblazers who are living it up, loving it out and living the best life possible.  I saw Elizabeth Gilbert standing and dancing in the audience, just glowing and happy as can be. I can’t wait to hear her and the rest of the team tomorrow.

But tonight I lived in the moment with my mama, soaking it all in and enjoying the journey.

Oprah is an amazing life force. She is full of positive energy and wants to share her wisdom with the masses because she has received and is aware of her gifts and talents and is using them to help others.  I love her, did I tell you that? We could be soul sisters.

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The event started out in darkness with star lights twinkling on the screens and then the wristbands she gave to everyone who registered began lighting up. We all could see our light across the stadium, in all it’s wonder and reverence. We could see and feel energy. As she spoke of light and energy, the white star lights turned to orange and she told us that the sun always rises.   This was another one of her themes, that every day is a new day and the sun will rise and we can start again. She soon emerged onto the stage, dressed in a vibrant, floor length orange dress.

Her message was questioning why we were all here and why she was here tonight.

She wants us all to turn up the volume on our lives. She wants us to live with passion and purpose and vision. She wants us to know that we are the co-creators of our lives and to remind us that we get to decide which path, which journey we want to take. She wanted us to know that we become what we believe and our experiences move us to our higher good.

I believe her. I practice every day what she preaches. I felt such a connection and resonating YES!!

She said that we need to surrender to the glory that belongs to each of us and to be thankful for all that is good in our lives.

She went on to tell us stories about her life and how she came to be where she is today. She told us how she enjoys time by herself, sitting under her oak grove in Santa Barbara, feeling thankful and grateful for all that is. Taking time to be still and to be thankful and to notice the positive things in her life are part of her daily ritual. Sounds like she understands mindfulness and meditation and makes the time to slow down and be alone.

She shared many quotes and reminded us that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.

We have to learn to connect to our power within. She reminded us that we all are here for a purpose and we were born and called to be.  Most of us have always known what our calling is, but we don’t always listen to the voices in our head.

She said that we all have a thread that we carry through our lives and that everyone has their own thread and that our spirits are seeking expression. It is up to us how we connect the dots and experience life. I LOVE THIS!

What is your thread? What are the commonalities and thoughts you’ve carried with you since you were a child? Are you listening?

She wanted us to think about what our calling is. Why are we here? What is our thread? What is our purpose and what connects us with the truth?

I know I keep repeating that “she said” but she was the only one on stage sharing her truth with all of us. We all long to leave a legacy, which is the collection of everything we’ve ever done, and everyone we’ve ever touched. We need to pay attention to our gifts and offer them to others. We need to be of service and to be grateful for all that we have been given.

What are the gifts and talents you possess? Are you sharing them freely with others? What we give, we receive. It’s a law of nature. Bam!

She wants us all to be a force for good and to share our positive energy with the world.

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The main truths she believes in are of being of service and providing validation for all that is and for each other. Once we have these truths, we can focus on co-creating our life by thinking about what we put out into the universe.  What goes out comes back. For every action, there is an opposite reaction. This is how our lives work and it’s important that we are aware of our actions and to be of service.

She reminded us of the Golden Rule and to do onto others as we wish done onto us. And she reminded us that our intentions were critical to our happiness. We have to act with our intentions so that we’re not aimlessly trying to please others so they will like us. We need to follow our hearts’ intentions and avoid the disease to please.  We need to be responsible for our intentions and to do what we have time for and that we feel we are the best person for the job.

Oprah had many things that were bad happen to her as a child.  She had a rough childhood and moved from place to place. She believed in God and believed in herself,  We must believe that all things are possible. Everything is energy and carried by what we believe and nothing is a waste.

We need to live the life we want and to stay out of others’ energy fields.

When we are presented with love and fear, we must choose love.  We want to shift the paradigm of focusing on fear and anxiety to focusing on love. It works. Try it. Let go of fear and let love in the free space.

We must be graceful and accept what comes our way and to always be thankful and practice gratitude daily.

And when things don’t go our way, as they often do, we must practice the art of surrendering and letting go, opening up and expressing thankfulness, despite the unexpected.

After we do all we can do, we must learn to surrender, detach, release and let go and trust in the power of our greater self.  We need to live a grace filled life and pay attention and cultivate the spirit. Every breath is a gift and we need to pay attention to the little things and be grateful.

We are born to honor our spirit and to find our path, to follow our own journey and be the best we can be. We all want the same thing – to fulfill our highest expression as a human being and to find and weave our threads and connect with others.

We all get a second chance to begin again. We just have to choose a do over and to start again, right now.

Namaste. Live your best life!! xoxo  I love you Oprah!! Thank you for coming to San Jose and sharing you love, passion, and light. I wish you well.

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Loving the Fall

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I love this time of the year and watching the seasons change.

I love coming home everyday and watching the leaves change colors and seeing the fallen leaves on the grass and ground.

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I love the way the light filters in, in the morning and late afternoon.

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I love wearing scarves and boots and layering long sleeved tops and sweaters.

Today I had a bowl of soup for lunch, another fall favorite joy. I baked my simple box recipe of cinnamon coffee cake too and enjoyed the smell that filled the house.

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At night, I like to put on cozy and fuzzy socks and turn the heater on my mattress cover and feel heavy blankets on top of me, snuggled up around my neck.

What do you love about fall?

Life is good.

They All Grow Up

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Please slow down time.  I’m loving this life right now.

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One of the coolest things about having three kids, is that as I watch the oldest move through his high school years, the youngest one reminds me that the oldest was once his age and I can see time passing. It makes me be more mindful of the moments.

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Tonight we stopped at the park between appointments because we had 30 minutes to spare.  We went to Las Palmas park, which was closed for remodeling for sometime.  When Juliana and Christian were little, I used to spend almost every week there watching them play with their friends and spending time with other mamas.

Coming back tonight, I admired the young mamas with their babies and reflected on that stage being over for me. I’m ok with that and happy to be where I am now, but every so often I remember what used to be as I look back with fond memories.

But tonight I was there to make new memories with Charlie. I LOVED watching him run around and exploring the new digs. He climbed to the top of the climbing wall, over and back, over and back, three times, without touching the ground, making sure I was watching. He climbed to the top of the highest slide and ran all around figuring out the new environment.

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And I sat and watched him and loved him and got up to tease him and tickle him and was so very happy that we thought to spontaneously stop at the park to play.

This moment made my day. And tonight during prayers, he said, “I love you mama” and pulled his arms from under the covers to wrap around my neck to give me a good, tight hug. And then he said, “Let’s do roses and thorns” and he let me go first.

I told him my rose of the day was playing with him at the park and luckily I didn’t have any thorns today.

He said his rose was playing at the park with me too and that his thorn was missing out on serving at lunch duty today because he thought he had a newspaper meeting when he actually didn’t. He wished he could have worked with his friend Mark, and instead said he’ll have to wait to serve until Friday. We have to remember to do this every night and day.

These are the days.  

Go outside and PLAY and plant some roses, BeLoveRs. xo

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Namaste.

Veteran’s Day – Veterans and Honor

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We had the best conversation with Jeff’s 94 year old Granddad tonight to honor him on Veteran’s Day. The kids and I called him and he shared that he was asked to speak at the Air Force academy because they wanted to talk with someone who knew General Patton.  Colonel Hughes worked with Patton and even had dinner at his house.  I’m sure the cadets were in awe meeting and hearing first hand from a WWII Legend, who is so humble and inspiring.

poppop veterans day from cassie

He told us that he was also asked to share his knowledge about the West Point Honor Code as the cadets at the Air Force Academy also had a code of conduct that they held high and were required to enforce amongst themselves and their peers.  I shared with him that I chose to marry my husband and his grandson for several reasons, and one of these included his sincere regard for the honor code that he believed in and practiced during his days at West Point.  The honor code is like getting a receipt, that you’re marrying an honest and trustworthy person that is honorable to himself, to his peers and to his country. I was hoping that these principles would apply to marriage as well, and I was right.

I think that if we all upheld an honor code and knew that we shared this code of honor in our communities, we would be a much happier lot of people.  Below are the honor codes from the various US Service Academies:

Honor Code from West Point:

“A cadet will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”

Honor Code at the Air Force Academy:

“The bedrock of moral and character education at the United States Air Force Academy begins with a internalization of the cadet honor code. This code was created by cadets and is owned by cadets. They are responsible for maintaining the Code as well as for the process by which those who break it are assessed. The Code is based on a fundamental, positive principles of honesty, respect, fairness, and support.

Understanding the Code

Honor Code: We will not lie, steal, or cheat, nor tolerate among us anyone who does.

Honor Oath: We will not lie, steal, or cheat, nor tolerate among us anyone who does.  Furthermore, I resolve to do my duty and to live honorably, (so help me God).

Spirit of the Code: Do the right thing and live honorably.”

Honor Concept from the US Naval Academy:

“Midshipmen are persons of integrity: They stand for that which is right.

They tell the truth and ensure that the full truth is known. They do not lie.

They embrace fairness in all actions. They ensure that work submitted as their own is their own, and that assistance received from any source is authorized and properly documented. They do not cheat.

They respect the property of others and ensure that others are able to benefit from the use of their own property. They do not steal.”

Happy Veteran’s Day to all those who have lead and served and sacrifices for our freedom. Thank you.

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