Joy

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

What brings you joy? You know that feeling where you can’t stop smiling just because you are?

Here I Am.

It’s what this blog is all about. Finding joy in the moments of living and enjoying all that is. I choose to share my (positive) moments to remember and to hopefully inspire you to live in your moment too and to focus on all that is good.

I so appreciate the beauty and love and friendship that is shared with me and surrounds me – the best that life has to offer. I wish the same for you.

Namaste.

Photos are from Carmel Beach tonight, just before sunset.

Life is good.

17Feb2014

Pismo Beach

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Where is your favorite place to be?

My favorite place is to be near the ocean. Any ocean. I love the sights, sounds, smell, feel, the lighting, and constant movement.

I got up early this morning and ran above the cliffs in Shell Beach through the fog, and then continued my run on the sand at Pismo Beach in the morning sunshine.

I saw surfers and dog walkers, runners and couples strolling.

There was even a man searching for lost treasures with his metal detector. I loved starting my day on the beach bright and early.

My sisters and nieces and my mama came up from Southern California today to spend the day all together.

We walked around San Luis Obispo and had lunch downtown before heading back to the beach. Everyone loves the beach once we get there. I think it’s because the beach is magical!

We checked out the butterflies again and then walked over the dunes to the beach, where we played volleyball, collected sand dollars and ran in the water. Watching the kids enjoy the beach made me incredibly happy. I am thankful that all the cousins and the Aunties and Oma and Jeff all got to play together on our day off.

Life is good.

15Feb2014

Gratitude Jar

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Today I was thankful that I sat next to my 89 year old friend at breakfast this morning. I haven’t seen her in over a year and just hearing her southern accent and seeing her sweet soul shine made me happy. Her eyes sparkle and she talks with you and asks you questions, that show her genuine interest and she is just charming and doesn’t even know it.

I used to see her more regularly, but as she has aged, she feels more comfortable staying home and not going out in the evenings, which is when I would usually see her. I appreciated her honesty and sharing her knowledge, knowing her own limitations and being comfortable with life’s transitions. I have so much to learn from her and wanted to know more about how she spends her days, as I was curious. So I began asking questions and she shared her wisdom, while I listened intently.

She told me how she looked forward to her son’s visits, how she really enjoys cooking, playing cards with her friends at the Senior Center and spending time with her church friends and community. She said she used to have about 22 friends at church, but now there were only 4 left, because most had passed away or moved into assisted living homes. I asked her what this felt like, and she said it was lonely, but that she was thankful to still be alive, and that the good Lord still had work for her to do. I couldn’t agree more! She said that some of her friends were unhappy and questioning why they were still here. She didn’t understand that, and said that she had so much to be thankful for. She then proceeded to tell me a simple story about how she was thankful today.

She said she was in her kitchen and her bottom drawer was stuck and she just couldn’t get it open, even as hard as she tried. She felt frustrated and thought maybe it was time to have someone come in to help her, but it wasn’t what she really wanted. She likes living on her own and taking care of herself, so she looked for another solution. She put a folded towel on the floor and sat down on top of it and then pushed and pulled and pushed and pulled while she wiggled and jiggled the contents until she was able to dislodge the lid that was blocking the drawer. She was so happy and proud of herself that she was able to do it on her own. She said that she decided to write this down and put it in her gratitude jar on the table. I was in awe. I asked her if she reread her blessings after they had been shared and she said yes. She said she could always find things to be grateful for and which made her happy to be alive. I couldn’t agree more and felt so inspired by her. I’m so thankful that she chose to come out this morning and that we had time together to sit and share a meaningful conversation. I love that I have friends that are more than twice my age and I Am thankful for her!! xoxo

Do you have a gratitude jar? If you did, what would you put in it today?

15Feb2014

New Experiences

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

One part I miss about living abroad is the sense of adventure and everything being new. My challenge now is to find new adventures and experiences for our family to share closer to home, that we hopefully all can enjoy.

Today we discovered the monarch butterfly migration in Pismo Beach. The butterfly is an amazing creature that knows when to migrate and follows the sun and warmth of the fall equinox. They fly individually and all know to meet up at the monarch grove. So incredibly fascinating to me. There were about 10,000 butterflies there today and there were close to 80,000 over Christmas time. Some of the butterflies are tagged and one flew all the way from Arizona. Their migration path and distance would be like if we travelled around the world 11 times, based on our relative size. Five butterflies weigh about the weight of one single penny.

From the monarch grove, we walked along a path to the sand dunes on Pismo Beach.

We liked seeing the wind formations in the dry and wet sand and looked for whole sand dollars. We considered ATV riding or bike riding, but decided to come back maybe tomorrow as we arrived later than we had hoped.

The other new experience we shared was going to the Drive – In movie theater. The kids had never been and Jeff and I hadn’t been since we were kids. We picked up dinner at Chipotle and brought it with us to eat in the car. In the old days, you had a little box that clipped on your roll down window to hear e sound. Tonight we programmed our car radio to the FM 100.7 channel to hear the movie. We brought folding chairs and blankets and the kids lasted about 30 minutes in the cold before they piled back in the van.

The Lego Movie was entertaining for us all and had a great, positive message.

Of course, I loved it and could relate to the sweet, positive pink unikitty! You just have to see the movie! If you’re looking for a good old fashioned drive in theater, this one is located in San Luis Obispo and is called the Sunset Drive In. Adults are $8 and kids 5-11 are $3. Here is a link to a help review: Sunset Drive In – SLO town

I am thankful that we were outside together, soaking up the sunshine and moon shine too!

Hope you had a relaxing Sunday.

14Feb2014

Sappy Love Story

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

It’s Valentine’s Day! Hope you’re feeling loved!! Here are some of the highlights from my love it out day. How did you celebrate?

Love me, love you!
Xoxox

11Feb2014

Trying New Things

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

I gave a presentation tonight about the journey of becoming an expatriate and a repatriate. I had an outline and food and props and shared my story with women who are great friends, which made for a comfortable audience. Most of the women had followed along with me through my blog and knew the highlights and virtually joined me on our one year adventure abroad.

So I decided to share the feelings and stories behind the story, kind of a behind the scenes version of the tour. I think they liked it, as they asked me to share another story, a version 2, another time. This made me very happy, as I am generally uncomfortable presenting to an audience and feel like I talk too much.

I shared what it was like to make the decision to move to another country. I talked about all the gritty details of the transitions and getting us out the door and into a new home in the Netherlands and back again. I shared the sad goodbyes, the anxious arrivals, the settling in, the exploration, and the return to our homeland.

I shared the lessons learned, both positive and negative.

What I learned, is that a year goes by very quickly, faster than you really think. It’s important to try new things and to not let our fears stop us from experiencing life. I think that we can do anything we set our minds to do, and that if we want something, really want something, and set a goal, we can do anything for a month, or maybe even a year or two or three. It’s not forever and we have so much to experience and try, if we trust our heart and not our fears.

And so I challenged the brave ones to come up and try some salty, Dutch licorice powder. This was a heavenly treat for me growing up, and one that I loved and used to prank my friends, just to see their reactions

They were good sports and I had a good laugh!! I don’t think they liked it much, but I was sure proud of them for trying!!

Life is good, my friends! Live it up, love it out and enjoy your precious time on this great, big planet. xo

10Feb2014

My Valentine

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Love yourself.

What does that mean?

What does that look like?

What does loving yourself feel like?

Why is it important?

It took me several years to really learn this lesson. To know it. To feel it. To really do it. And to realize that this process changes and is never done. And it’s ok, more than ok, and we should be celebrating our happiness and creating more happiness. It’s contagious and I want to share it.

If I were to share my valentine gift with you, it would be this:

Figure out what makes you happy and make time to do that. TODAY.

If you don’t know what makes you happy, then sit for 15 minutes and try to make a list. If nothing is coming to you, then focus on just breathing and relaxing and freeing your mind for 15 minutes. Create some space and time so that your creativity can flow. And then tomorrow, pick something from your list and spend 15 minutes doing what makes you smile. Everyone has 15 minutes to squeeze in joy and it’s a huge investment in your daily well being and productivity and the happiness you can give out to the world.

This Valentine’s Day – instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers or chocolate or to be romantic, make time for yourself and do something that you love. Give yourself the freedom from responsibility and duty to live it up and love it out and create joy – even if it’s only 15 minutes. Loving ourselves needs to become a habit, something we practice and become good at. Because the more we love ourselves and see the good that we are, the more love and more goodness we have to share with others. This is the endless circle we want to create. The happiness circle that keeps on growing and growing and fills our earth, filled with love and happiness. Oh, I like that visual… don’t you?

Love me. Love you.

So simple.

Happy Valentine’s Day to YOU! Wonderful YOU!

Bloom.

10Feb2014

Consistency

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

What do you consistently do with consistency?

I have been thinking about that lately and wondered how consistent we are and how consistency helps to establish habits, rituals, structure and managed expectations.

In some areas of my life I am consistent and in others I am not.

For example, I have been consistently writing this blog for 695 days. Blogging every night has become a welcome habit and ritual that I enjoy. Sometimes it is challenging as I don’t know what to share, and sometimes I feel like I have too much to say. Some nights I am so tired and fall asleep while I’m writing and am afraid of what I publish! But at least I’m consistently writing – sometimes good, sometimes so-so, but I’m consistent! 😉

I drink coffee with consistency and love this ritual too. I especially love it when my husband wakes up before me and has the coffee ready before I get out of bed. I love the smell, the sound of the beep telling us the pot is ready, and taking that first sip.

I consistently work out and love that exercise is part of my daily routine. I have a weekly plan that provides structure for my days and gives me things to look forward to doing each week.

I am consistently trying to lose weight, but my practice is inconsistent. I love to eat and want to lose 10 pounds and these goals are inconsistent. Therefore, I struggle.

Sometimes when we’re inconsistent, we struggle until we figure out what we really want and value and then do the work to support those goals. Story of life, right?

I was talking to my 70 year old dental hygienist who lost her husband 6 years ago suddenly when he died at the age of 67 while out for a jog. She said that after you go through something like that, your perspective on life changes and you live more for the moment. That is, until you forget and get busy again. I loved her analogy and that she had the wisdom to know to live in the moment as much as possible and to take days off from work to play and travel and be with her kids and grandkids. I loved that she knew the importance of life, yet she got stuck too; that life sometimes just happens and you forget until you remember again and start living. Great sage advice. We’re all perfectly imperfect. And we should try to be consistent with what we love, but gentle on ourselves when we’re not.

I like that.

9Feb2014

Mother’s Work

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One of my working mom friend’s went on strike this week. She’s sharing her story on Facebook and posting pictures of the dishes piled in the sink, the trash piling up and miscellaneous clutter surrounding her house. She is brave. She’s not cooking or cleaning or driving or nagging, and she’s taking care of only herself. I’m loving her story. She loves her family and she’s choosing the tough love approach to learning as her generosity has been going unnoticed. I get her. I feel her pain. And I appreciate that she’s choosing this challenging approach to teaching her kids responsibility. It’s actually harder to do than cleaning up after them all the time. I can’t stand when my house goes crazy! It would drive me nuts to go on strike, yet I appreciate her stance and am enjoying her journey.

I am also struggling and learning how to teach responsibility and discipline. I want help and I don’t want to ask and nag all the time. I want them to want to help out and pitch in, yet I think their natural tendency is avoidance. I think they have lots of reasons why they shouldn’t help out and fighting against this, is like fighting an uphill battle. I like hills. I can feel the burn and I know that this is a long journey and it will take awhile, but we will be stronger and more fit from doing the hard work. I’m in it for the long haul. And I’m going to keep teaching and keep expecting responsibility, discipline, kindness, team work and love. I will never give up.

I’m choosing to fight. I’m choosing to teach. I’m choosing to stand up and hold them accountable. I’m managing their work and I’m teaching them how to respond kindly and politely. I will be patient and I will wait for compliance, despite the conflict and uprising. This is what love looks and feels like. I am stronger than the Resistance Movement.

We’ll all be a better team because of it! Go team.

And mamas – you are not alone! This parenting thing is hard work and so worth it!! Keep up the good fight.

Life is good (and challenging sometimes!)

Have a great week! xo