Day 180: The Blessings of Skype and FaceTime

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While I was washing the dishes, I decided to call my mom in California. To my surprise, all my nieces and my dad were at home with her. I was so excited to see all their faces using FaceTime on my phone and then Skype on the bigger computer screen.

Today is Martin Luther King Day, a national holiday in the States, which means the public schools are closed and the reason my parents are with the grand kids. They were talking about going to get chocolate chip donuts and were headed to the park. It looks like a beautiful, sunshine filled day in California! I’m so glad we got to see their view!

We showed them our snow covered yard and told them how we were walking on the frozen canals and were going to make snow ice cream tonight.

We’re also baking chocolate chip cookies for Charlie’s class to celebrate his half birthday, sine he’s a summer birthday child. In Holland, they use baking paper or bakpapier to line their cookie sheets. Always something new to learn while living abroad!

20Jan2013

Day 179: Walking on the Frozen Canal!

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It’s so cold outside! I put on extra layers and dressed warmly to go play with the kids. I think I lasted only 10 minutes before seeking warmth and a hot cup of tea. It sure was exciting to walk on the canal though, as it’s something we have never done before. I heard a couple small cracking sounds that scared me a bit, but I think that’s normal. They weren’t deep cracking sounds, just light little ones, which might have been the snow pack on top of the ice, but who knows! It’s supposed to snow the next few days, so it’ll probably be much safer to walk and skate then. I’d like for us to try skating on the canal, so we will have to go buy or borrow some skates!! Maybe we’ll have another snow day tomorrow! Happy Sunday!

Here are some pictures of our newest adventure.

19Jan2013

Day 178: Joie de Raclette

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I don’t know French, but what I wanted to share was how much fun it it was to share a Raclette dinner with friends. I first heard of this from Leanne Place and thought it sounded like fun, but was afraid of adding another appliance to our house.

A Raclette is a French word that means to scrape, as in to scrape melted cheese from a block of unmelted cheese onto your plate and to enjoy this with bread, vegetables and various charcuterie meats. We just melted the cheeses in little serving trays. I love picking and diping different kinds of foods, and I love to share them with others. It’s fun to play with your food, don’t you think?

Tonight we shared a Raclette dinner with some of our friends from school. We had a wonderful time and we didn’t want to leave, but after a long day of basketball, the kids were exhausted and were begging to go home and to bed! Pretty soon they’ll be begging to stay home and not go with us at all, so I’ll take tired for now! Happy end of the weekend.

18Jan2013

Day 177: How Long Should One Stay?

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Today I’m wondering about how long is the ideal time to stay in another country as an expat. I’m sure there are several different opinions and I’m curious what people think, and I’m sure the number one answer is:

It depends.

That used to be the best consulting answer at PW and really it depends on several factors and depends on your personal context.

When I think of this question, I think in terms of what’s best for my kids. We chose to move abroad for Jeff’s career and there are benefits for our family as well. Some of the things I wished for when making this choice included, but are not limited to:

1. Giving our children the opportunity to live someplace else besides their home town.
2. Living overseas and exploring and traveling across Europe for more than a vacation week or two.
3. Meeting new people and making new friends from all over the world.
4. Teaching the kids how to adapt by moving and establishing new friendships and routines.
5. Bonding as a family and sharing this crazy experience together.
6. Learning a new language and culture, and consuming large quantities of stroopwafels, hagel slag, and dropjes.
7. Learning by doing and experiencing life, and getting out of our normal routine.
8. Moving away so that we could appreciate all that is/was good back home like the weather, and Costco and Target and the beach and my wife!! Dang, I miss her like heck!!

So how long do I have to stay away to meet my goals (not to mention Jeff’s!)?

When are we “done”?

Most people say a year is too short and that it takes a full year to settle and acclimate.

After a year, you finally get the hang of things and how things work and you start to feel comfortable again. Your new routines are established and friendships grow roots and you start to feel like you belong. So maybe two years is the best answer?

But then why not stay for three and celebrate all that is good? If it takes a year to acclimate, and two to grow roots, maybe you bloom and shine in year three? Maybe three is the lucky, magical number. I can’t see staying longer than three so I’ll stop envisioning there for now, even though I know its possible (for some people.)

Next week we will have been here for 6 months, a half year. We could be half way done if we stay for only a year. But I don’t feel done yet. I do feel quite settled, but I’m not done settling or traveling or experiencing Europe and our family friendships are just beginning to develop. I really like the community I live in and I want to do more with the friends I’ve made. There’s more coffee to be drunk, wine to be tasted and canals to explore. I secretly hope Jeff still has another year to go, however I do know that all the good back home still awaits, so there could be an upside to a 2013 repatriation date, I’m just saying!

I write like I have a say in this. I guess I’m just dreaming of possibilities and travel itineraries and wondering where we’ll be this summer.

Are there any expats or military brats reading this that have an opinion? Did you move around as a child or stay put and have a thought to share? I’d love to hear what you think.

For now, Here I Am – in Holland.

At home, on my couch, with my family, and a blanket over my lap.

Content.

My husband is already asleep in the rocking chair, with jet lag still kicking in.

Oh, and we have 2 house guests from Hamburg’s basketball traveling team staying with us. I better go do their laundry for the games tomorrow.

It’s an exciting Friday night in the Hartley house.

Hope y’all have a good weekend! – Adriana

17Jan2013

Day 176: Still Life. Still Freezing.

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The tennis courts are frozen. Thank goodness for indoor courts. I had a great lesson today. Actually, I had three great lessons today. My tennis coach is still trying to teach me to loosen up and move forward to the ball. I keep trying to over power my swing and I lean back. But when I move forward and just let go, everything is alright. I think there’s a metaphor in there. When I thought too hard about it, I’d tighten my grip and the ball would not consistently land in the court. But when I went with the flow and loosened up a bit, my consistency was amazing. I think I can learn something from that. Now if I can only repeat what I’ve practiced and learned!! I swear this helps me to be a more patient mom, knowing how challenging it is to actually apply what you learn.

My second and third lessons came from reading passionate and authentic blogs from two women whom I regularly follow. I love these women and don’t even know them. One woman is living life in the moment, a moment that brings tremendous struggle, yet she is real and authentic and represents the meaning of love and life. She gets it and I learn so much from her. Her name is Suzanne Rico. She is from California and you you can find her blog here: Walking Papers. Today I cried while reading about her dress rehearsal for dying and only hope I have as much grace as she does when this event comes my way. She has a beautiful soul.

The other woman is Kirsty Rice from Australia. She is an expat with 4 kids living in Doha. She also has an authentic voice and shares what it is like to live abroad and to raise children away from home. I started following and learning from her before we decided to become expats and I look forward to her regular updates. You can find her here: 4 kids, 20 suitcases & a beagle Today she asked where her “lurkers” were from and reading all the comments and seeing connections was pretty cool. She has touched so many lives with her gift of writing and sharing. I like that and she inspires me.

And I’ll leave you with one last picture. This man was standing in the freezing weather waiting for a bus. There is a windmill in the distance and the typically green field is covered in snow. I took this from my warm minivan, thankful as ever that she’s with me and that we weren’t standing outside tonight.

16Jan2013

Day 175: Beauty in the City and New Drivers Licenses

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It was cold and sunny this morning and the lighting was beautiful. Jeff and I had an appointment with the town hall to turn in our California drivers licenses in exchange for Netherlands licenses. It felt a bit weird handing them over, but that’s what’s required. They want you to do this exchange within 6 months of living here and we’re fast approaching that milestone. How did that happen so fast?

If you’re an expat in the Netherlands, the agency that handles this process is called CBR and the forms can be found on their website: CBR.nl. Once you receive a letter from them, you can schedule an appointment with the town hall. You need to bring the CBR letter they send you with the application information, your passport, drivers license, residency card, and a copy of your 30% ruling, along with a passport photo. And don’t forget your 45€! All went smoothly.

On for the good part…here are some beautiful pictures of the snowscape and sunshine today. I loved the lighting and the colorful, patchwork, scarf covered tree.

The other beautiful things I discovered today were at the Museum of Handbags and Purses in Amsterdam. A few girlfriends got together to explore the museum and to have lunch afterwards. Happy Birthday, to Carolyn!, I hope you enjoy the photos!! My favorite was the Diet Coke Purse, the lucite box bags, and the old Holland school bags(boxes) that used to serve as desks and supply boxes.

15Jan2013

Day 174: My New Canvas

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Jeff came home today after being back in the States for 9 days, and I felt so excited to see him again, like a happy puppy! I had Dutch class today and so he had to take a taxi home from the airport. When I came home from class, he was already home and I felt that giddy feeling when I saw him again. Silly, I know, but its true and I’m still excited to see him after almost 20 years together!

Enough about that!! I wanted to share another excitement. I think today I am writing my 300th blog post. I’ve been writing every day since I started this HereIAm blog. It has become my creative outlet and a hobby I really enjoy. I didn’t know I would discover such pleasure from writing and sharing and connecting and capturing the best moments from my daily life, yet I do. My blog has become like an art canvas, and my words and pictures the colors that fill the page. I typically capture moments with my iPhone which is always with me. At night, I send the pictures to my email account and then create my blog usually from my phone or laptop late at night. Jeff surprised me today and brought me home a new canvas for me to do my work on:

It’s an iPad mini! I can take great pictures with it, and I added the blogging app and my blog to the home screen. All in one, I can take it with me in my purse, and to school and to my comfy bed and create and connect from anyplace. How cool is that? Thank you Jeff, for surprising me and for supporting the arts! I’m thrilled!!

I took my new canvas to the kids’ basketball games and enjoyed setting it up while they weren’t playing and capturing pictures when they were on the court. We were there for several hours!

After dinner tonight, we enjoyed dessert from the States – Chocolate Poptarts!! Yum!! Thank you April for shopping for us!! We were so excited by all the loot! And thanks Jeff, for carrying an extra suitcase with you to fulfill my retail desires!! Life is good!

14Jan2013

Day 173: Snow and Snuggles

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This morning the grass was crispy and a frozen layer of ice crystals has begun forming from one side of the canal. Can you see the frozen log?

This is my van tonight after sitting in the parking lot after school. It was not snowing when I went in to school, but it was definitely sticking when I left.

It definitely was cold today. Charlie was outside playing in the snow after school with his bare hands. We haven’t gotten used to wearing our mittens, scarves and hats yet! I think tomorrow that will change.

But for tonight, I’m saying goodbye with few words. The kids and I were busy cleaning up the house as Jeff is coming home tomorrow and we’re all excited. But before he comes home, we’re having a sleepover in my bed and it’s late! Time to go to sleep before midnight!! Whoohoo!

Hope you’re staying warm and healthy and don’t let the flu bug bite!

13Jan2013

Day 172: Nieuwjaarsduik or New Year’s Dip / Dive

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Vinkeveen Lake – A sunny day for a freezing dip.

People say to me that it seems like I’ve settled quickly in Holland and that it feels like I’ve been here forever.

I’ll tell you my secret.

It’s family and friends that helped me to feel like I belong here and that Holland is also my home.

Home is where the heart is and having friends and family that love you and support you and want to drink coffee and wine (or margaritas) together, and to share meals and to play and explore together makes all the difference.

I AM home.

I’ve been so very lucky and fortunate to have family that helped us to adapt and helped us get our house furnished. They helped to make us feel welcome and came to visit us multiple times, and have invited us to their homes for dinners and birthday celebrations and this made us feel a part of this country, right away and at home.

My friends from the States connected me with their friends living close by, and their friends reached out and brought us gifts and invited us to their homes for coffee and dinner conversations. Thank you Simone, Ruth, Birgitta, and Pauline.

I’ve also been able to make friends through our school, our neighborhood and through tennis, and I swear, that makes all the difference in the world. My new friends are not only expats either, for which I’m also thankful. I love that we’ve been accepted and welcomed and have been able to experience Dutch culture and language and friendship.

Today I’m thankful for Joseine and Barbara. They are both Netherland Natives and are friends, whose kids are friends and who have made friends with Charlie. See how that works? Joseine introduced me to Barbara and Barbara invited me to her home today to enjoy a Dutch tradition of welcoming the New Year by jumping in the lake for a New Year’s Refreshing Dip – for all who are brave enough to endure! Thank you Barbara for inviting me to be a part of this fun and exciting day. I only wish Jeff could have been in town to be a part of it too.

I think you’ll enjoy the pictures of the adventurous spirits who celebrated this tradition and those who chose the saner path, bundled up on the side with warm glasses of gluhwein and warme chocolademelk, with cameras in hand. Be well, my friends, and Gelukkig Nieuwjaar!

This is Charlie – thinking about going in, although he touched the water with his foot and chose to warm up in the hot tub first. Smart boy!

These are the cute, beautiful and smart girls who took pictures from the side!

I love this picture!!! Look at the lighting. This is a father and son duo – and I think there is just something pretty cool about this bonding experience!

Charlie’s Jump!

OMG – It’s so cold!

Yippeee! Look at the lighting! It was 30 degrees outside and who knows how cold the water was. Juliana took this picture.

This guy was “warm” inside the kitchen. What a great place for a fish tank.

Barbara is so creative and made these for all the brave participants! I love it!

Check out my big, brave, Dutch boys!

12Jan2013

Day 171: A Sunny, Crisp Day

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This was my cool-down view today, after my 45 minute run. The sun was out and the temperature was just above freezing. Didn’t need much time to cool down!

While I was getting ready to go running this morning, my Dutch neighbor knocked on the door to let me know to expect the temperature to drop to freezing this week and to expect to see the canal frozen. She wanted me to get my skates ready. I told her I’ll have to go buy some first and put on another layer before heading out the door with gloves and 2 thin running layers. It was very cold, but the sun was shining and made me happy. There is never a day that I go out for a run and wish I hadn’t. The hardest part is convincing myself to just put on my shoes.

Haarlem

The winter sun in Holland is absolutely beautiful. I think I appreciate the sunlight even more because it hardly shines here and so when it is out, you want to be out too. When the sky is blue and wide open with the texture of the clouds, it feels like black out shades that have been closed for too long have been opened and you can see again! I happened to be in the car and snapped these while I was driving home from a friend’s house. I so wanted to get out and walk around but I needed to get home.

This isn’t me – but a lady running right near the Haarlem train station. I think Haarlem is a magnificent city and I would love to live here.

Haarlem Train Station – look at all the bikes parked double time!! Amsterdam Central Station is even crazier! Not the best shot from my car window.

Christian has 3 friends over tonight as his sister and brother are away at a sleepover. I took the boys to the mall and walked around by myself while they hung out and walked home by themselves. Having a teenager and letting him go on his own with his friends is still a challenge for me, but I’m doing it and he is so cool about it. He’s helping me to learn how to let go, by calling and checking in and letting me know what he’s up to so I don’t worry. He has a very nice group of friends: one is from India, the other is from France and the third friend is from England. They all go to school together and share several classes, lunch and soccer games at break time. It was cool to hear their stories about what schooling is like in their home countries, and about all the different places they have lived. What lucky kids!

This is for all my Dutch friends! It’s the Blonde character that is very popular here – this design is all over dishes, plates, cups, linens, serving pieces, etc. Isn’t it cheerful?