Day 285: Sunny and I’m Inside?

20130506-202016.jpgIt was warm and sunny today and all I wanted to do was be inside. We had a very fun and busy weekend and I needed some down time to catch up with paper work and photos, to relax and cook, and I just wanted to be home, sipping a cup of tea.

I felt guilty for being inside because it’s not what you do in Holland when the sun is out. It’s almost, well not almost, it’s expected that you be outdoors because you never know for how long the sun will shine and it might rain and be cold again tomorrow.  I felt torn for declining an invitation to go for a bike ride with Patti Beth into the city because I wanted to be two places at once. I made the right choice for me, but it was so hard to choose between two great options and saying no to biking made me a little sad. Especially when I heard from Patti Beth how much fun she had meeting up with friends and walking through Vondel Park and that it might rain on Wednesday. *Sigh*

In California, I never thought twice about staying inside when the sun was out because the sun is always, well, almost always out. I got used to having nice weather almost every day, so making plans to be outside when the sun was out would be a little weird. Granted, most days I was outside playing tennis, running, hiking or sometimes sneaking away to the beach. But I never thought about it this way… that I should take advantage of the sunshine while I had it, because, well – we always had it and there wasn’t a shortage. It’s strange how one’s mind can shift.  But today, I was thinking like a Californian and enjoyed the sun shining in my windows while I got caught up, cooked dinner and cleaned up all the dishes before kid pick up, and enjoyed the peace and quiet. There is something to be said for slowing down and enjoying the simple things, and today was one of those kinda days.

Beautiful, simplicity. Charlie picked this flower for me yesterday.

Beautiful, simplicity. Charlie picked this flower for me yesterday.

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The makings of Pho Soup

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Mama Bowl

One of our family favorite dinners - simple Pho.

Papa Bowl

Day 284: Keukenhof – The World’s Largest Flower Garden

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Keukenhof, also known as the Garden of Europe, is the world’s largest flower garden. It is situated near Lisse, Netherlands. Over 7,000,000 bulbs are planted each year.

Today was a warm and sunny day and perfect for wandering the fields with Rob and Wendy and their two dogs. We all had a great time taking pictures, enjoying the floral scents that filled the air, listening to live music and enjoying our time together. I hope you enjoy some of the pictures from this beautiful place.

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Mama and Pops – I wish you were here with me today! You would have loved it.

Happy Liberation Day! Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

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Day 276: Two Lives

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Everyone assumes I’m excited to move back home and I am. But I’m also nervous and have anxiety over it. I want to move back and I want to live here a bit longer. And I get to do both, but I have stress about moving and leaving my home here. My life is good here in Holland. And my life was good in California. It’s that yin and yang thing that is constant. And I’ll flow with whatever comes my way, but it does cause stress and I just wanted to mention that as I feel it and move through it.

I have great friends, who I enjoy every single day here. And I have great friends with shared history back home who are waiting for us and want us back (thank goodness) who we want to see and hug and hang out with again too.

But today I hung out with my friends here – I picked up Charlie from Joseine’s house and shared a cup of coffee with her, while the kids played outside and ran around together and talked us into another sleepover. How could I say no? We walked over to see her new home being built and she shared with me the details that she’s been planning for a year and a half, if not longer. She is passionate and I loved hearing and seeing her vision, and that she was sharing it with me. She is quietly proud and chose to let m be a part of her journey and dream, which I think is really cool. It made me not want to move just yet, because I won’t be here when it’s completed and I want to see it and be a part of her joy. I know I can come back someday, but I want to be here for the housewarming when it’s all done. You get it, right?

At the same time as I was enjoying my friends here, Jeff is back in California and enjoying our friends there. He went to Jessie’s soccer game and saw her score a goal.

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He went to Costco and bought ribs to grill/smoke on the Traeger with Steve and is enjoying his last day there before heading back to us in Holland, probably drinking a tasty margarita in a green glass from Megan, with salt!! He went to deliver gifts to Becca from Juliana and helped to keep us connected with our loved ones back home. I love that he is there enjoying the yin and I’m here enjoying the yang. 😉

As he was getting ready to grill, we were just leaving a BBQ with Patti Beth & Amy & Mindy and their families. The weather was sunny and cool, and the kids – both young and old, played together, laughing and chasing and enjoying one another. The parents all brought food and wine to share and we had a potluck – just like we do in California.

It’s weird, in a good way.

Knowing that we’re leaving makes me savor the moment more than ever. I’m hyper aware that there won’t be many more and so I want to be 100% present and I am, and it’s weird to feel that. It’s kinda like a gift to really enjoy and appreciate your friends. I know, I’m sappy. It’s just who I am. I’ve always been like this and will probably drive my kids nuts. Hopefully I’ll know when to be quiet. 😉 I’m sure they’ll let me know.

During the car ride to J’s house, the sun was shining, flowers were blooming everywhere and Jack Johnson sang to me:

“And there will always be stop and go and fast and slow
Action, reaction, sticks and stones and broken bones
Those for peace and those for war
And god bless these ones, not those ones
But these ones made times like these
And times like those
What will be will be
And so it goes
And it always goes on and on…
On and on it goes

But somehow I know it won’t be the same
Somehow I know it will never be the same.”

And so it goes…

Namaste, friends. Thanks for reading and sharing this crazy journey. xo

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Day 266: Still Waiting for Spring

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These pictures were taken from the car window, with an iphone 4, so are a bit fuzzy and not the best framing.

I’m seeing signs of spring and I know the season is almost here. A few of the cherry blossom trees are blooming.  Other trees are starting to show signs of new buds forming. And allergies are exploding!  Poor, Christian.

Today it was sprinkling a bit, but my down, heavy coat has gone into hibernation until next winter, I hope!  Thank, God!! The weather is definitely warmer, and there were only a few grey skies today, sprinkled showers, and a bit of sunshine!  There’s hope!! We sat outside and watched the kids play on the playground after school.  I’m loving the longer hours of daylight hours and want to enjoy the sunshine and warmth and dinner outdoors. I think we’re almost there, although the Friday night paddle through Amsterdam has been cancelled for this week due to bad weather!  The popular Keukenhof tulip gardens haven’t yet bloomed and it looks like they might extend the season into June due to the nature delay. I guess we’ll wait a couple more weeks to visit.   Hurry up, Spring!

– A.

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Day 261: Still in My Pajamas

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ssshhh… don’t tell anyone, but I never really got dressed today and loved it. My headaches are still lingering, and it was raining and hailing out. I just wanted to nest and loved the stillness of my house. Good things come when you rest. I enjoyed a lazy morning and went to get a facial before lunch. I’m not one to spend a lot of time pampering myself, and its been years since I’ve had a skin treatment. Today was good.

I went to see a lady who works from her house. Not only did I love that she worked from her home and her charming personality, but the facial treatment she gave me was amazing and relaxing too. She shared stories about how she became a beautician and always wanted to be one since she was probably 3 years old. Her parents thought she should be something more. So she went to law school, but then decided to became a flight attendant for several years. When she started to tire from the travel, she ran into someone who worked in real estate and offered her a job. She then became a realtor for several years, got married and then had the opportunity to redefine herself again. She chose to go back to school and follow her life long dream. And here she was today, providing a service to me, in her gorgeous home office, happy as could be. Her eyes were smiling and her passion was quietly oozing out of her. I just loved her story and that she found her way.

While sitting in her chair alone while my mask was drying, I began thinking of what I wanted to be when I grew up. My dream was simple. I always wanted to be a full time, stay at home mom. I knew I wanted to be independent and have my own money first and be able to survive on my own, but my true dream was to be home one day. I had a successful career, made great money, got married, had my first baby, kept working, had a second baby, stayed home, and had a third baby to solidify my role as a full time, stay at home mama. We chose for me to stay home. So for the past 12 years, I’ve been living my dream, thankfully because I have a supportive life partner. I am content. I’m not searching for something more and I don’t feel like I’m missing out. There is this whole discussion about women leaning into their careers and taking positions of leadership. I love my decision and it works for our family. I believe every woman has to chose what is right for her, and what makes her happy should make her family happy. I know some women do not get to choose, and I hope they find peace in their situation and doing what might not be easy, but what is right for them and their family.

“Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already I am.”
-Thomas Merton

Here I Am. Namaste.

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Day 259: 7 Ways We Quickly Settled as Expats.

Now that we’ve been in Holland for 259 days, I’m realizing that there are several factors that helped us to feel settled living abroad rather quickly.  Here are a few things that come to my mind.

1.  We hired an excellent, personal, relocation manager. Lion helped us to pick our rental property that would suite our family best based on our needs. He did the walk through with the owner and got the keys before we arrived. He referred us to rental furniture companies and met them at our house to let them in and set up our furniture before we arrived. He was here to meet us at our front door the first day we arrived with our 15 suitcases. The day we arrived was so hot, that he arrived early and opened all the windows to air out the place. Once we got settled, he drove us to the grocery store so that we could have a few things our first day.  He has supported us every step of the way, and has been very humble, kind and generous and a true help to us.

2.  Our Dutch Relatives. My mother was born in the South of Holland and her cousins still live here. Jeff and I have good relations with them and have visited each other both in Holland and in the States several times. When we arrived, Gerard and Anita and Dorine and Nadja helped us to shop for hours and buy furniture and assemble it. We have been to each others homes for dinners and birthday parties and they made us feel welcome and a part of their families. We also were invited to Rio and Helma’s dairy farm and to spend time with them too. Franca and Henk came to see us, along with all their kids and everyone enjoyed chatting and playing and getting to know one another. When you’re far away from your own home, family and friends, having a new family to welcome you is the best feeling.  We didn’t feel alone and it was comforting knowing that they knew the language, culture, norms and could help us navigate the process of getting transportation cards, and such, and could help us if an emergency occurred.

3. New Friends.  One thing I love most to do is to connect people to friends and knowledge and to help one another. It’s what I used to do in a past life, and a skill that I think has helped me to find my way. I was able to meet and connect with friends through PEO, a philanthropic organization to which I belong. that supports, celebrates and motivates women to achieve their highest goals. A Dutch friend of mine who worked with me at Stella & Dot, introduced me to one of her friends who lives in my new home town. Before I moved, I had a Dutch coffee at my house and invited my Dutch friends over. One of them had a Dutch friend that worked in the US Consulate. Another one had a sister in law that lives in my new home town, who brought us a house plant once we got settled.

Our children’s school made it very easy for us to build a community of expat friends very quickly. Once the children started making friends, I was able to meet the moms and dads of their friends, and friendships were formed. We started sharing experiences and new relationships have grown.  I love my new tribe and am so thankful for each and everyone of my new friends.

4. I filled my time doing things I love and got out of the house. I met people who played tennis and found a group of women to play with indoors and they connected me to the right people to take lessons and play in tournaments. I found yoga and yoga friends. I sought out a place to paddle board and met the owner of a Dutch company to paddle the canals with across Amsterdam. Now if the weather just warms up! I took up running with my husband, something I’ve always wanted to do, and now found the time and place. I went to all the social events I could the first few weeks at school to get out and see the town. The school is so good at making newcomers feel welcome, with coffees, and outings and having an open door where parents can sit and socialize while waiting for their kids.  And as I started making friends, we’d have girls’ lunches, and girls’ nights out, dinner parties and happy hours, celebrated a baby being born, and birthdays and all that is good. Bottom line is I’ve stayed busy and productive and happy and love the friendships that have blossomed through all these shared events. I am so lucky and never am bored.

5. I have a very supportive partner.  I probably don’t say enough about my husband, who works hard day and night, working to build his global business and support our family. He worked so hard behind the scenes to get us here, without a support staff to do all the work for him, as he works at a start up company, and they don’t have these type of resources. He researched everything, set up our legal documents, bank accounts, car transfer, cell phones, drivers’ licenses, cable and internet services, etc. all while setting up a European company.  He is smart and loving and supports me and laughs with me and makes me coffee every morning!  I am blessed.

6.  Social Media & Technology.  Having Facebook, Skype, Email, Google Voice, What’s App, Instagram, Magic Jack, my blog, Apple TV and a VPN have helped me to feel still connected to friends and family and America. I’m able to share and see and connect with those I love every day. When I feel lonely, I can always check in – just sometimes have to wait for the time zones to be in alignment where we’re both awake at the same hour.

7. A thirst for adventure.  We wanted to do something fun as a family and to learn about the world. Having something to look forward to every month is very exciting. Whenever we feel down or homesick, someone is coming to visit, a trip is planned or a package arrives.  We aren’t bored or stagnant and there is a lot of excitement and adventure awaiting us, if we so choose, and most weekends, we’re choosing to see and explore and enjoy this journey as much as we can.

If you’re an expat, what has helped you to settle in to your new home? What makes you happy?   Thanks for reading and sharing this journey with me.  😉

Day 238: AmsteRandom

It is so cold today and to think that tomorrow is the first day of spring is crazy. I’ve somewhat adjusted to the cold, but being outside in it for several hours was just nuts! My hands and feet hurt from being numb and frozen. I’m just saying…

I’m happily riding the warm bus back to pick up the kids from school.

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View of Olympic Stadium from the 170 bus.

The good part of wandering in the cold was being with friends, getting some exercise and seeing new random places in Amsterdam. I love this city almost as much as San Francisco.

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Random mitten art in the Joordan.

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Old man and his cat

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In the Leidseplein, where the ice rink used to be, they are setting up the outdoor tables anticipating and wishing for warm spring weather and customers.

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Building was taken over by squatters in the 1970s. The snake represents the squatters.

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One of the smallest canal houses in Amsterdam is the middle red one.

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Bike fishing.

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Friends departing on their bikes, waving as they go.

Tot ziens!

Day 234: Celebrations

We celebrated Juliana’s birthday today by having 22 girls over for two hours. Luckily there wasn’t any drama and I think they all had fun. We asked every girl to bring a gift for under 10 euros. Then we did a white elephant style gift exchange where they all brought gifts and could steal from each other or pick a new gift, until all the gifts were unwrapped. A gift could only be transferred three times and then it had a permanent owner. Some of the popular gifts include OPI nail polish, a disco lamp, glass jars with candy and a polka dotted wallet. At first the girls were very hesitant to steal, not wanting to make each other mad. But once they got into it, the laughter and screaming and stealing got very exciting.
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We had a photo booth set up with props to change into, and took pictures of all the guests with Juliana. We then projected the pictures onto Apple TV so everyone could see themselves during the party. At one point, our little rascal Charlie decided to high jack the Apple TV and projected his iPod music and Shut Up app onto the tv. I thought this was hilarious, but Juliana didn’t find it very funny.

We made and served April’s chocolate cake ad frosting and it was so deliciously moist and yummy!

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We sang happy birthday in three languages – English, Dutch and Chinese. One party guest is moving to Japan in a couple weeks. Two others are moving back to the states at the end of school. Everyone has a unique story and it was so fun to see all these girls together.

Before everyone left, the girls all did the Haarlem Shake and we took a group photo. And after they went home, we cleaned up again and I made the kids one of their favorite dinners – a chicken and veggie noodle stir fry dish. Jeff and I then headed out for some adult conversation with two other couples to celebrate a birthday. I love birthdays and celebrating loved ones. Tonight we went around the table and did a roast to the party guest! He said it was like having a live obituary. I think everyone should know how they are loved and admired while they are alive, even if it does feel a bit weird. Why should we be afraid of compliments? When its your turn, soak in all the acknowledgements and praise and celebrate wonderful you!

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Day 232: Headaches and Dry Needling?!

I had the strangest experience today. I’ve been having constant daily headaches, and the pain has been getting worse each day. They feel like tension, pulsating headaches stemming from the back of my neck and into my head and behind my right eye. So I decided to try to find a sports massage therapist to help with deep tissue massage to loosen up whatever is tugging so tightly on my muscles and causing me pain.

I went to this place based on a recommendation. I showed up to an empty room, with no receptionist and no one to be seen. I heard talking behind closed doors, so I waited 10 minutes for the woman to come out. When I finally went in, we exchanged courtesies, she wrote down my information on a piece of paper and asked me about why I was there. I told her about my symptoms, she showed me some anatomy drawings that highlighted my pain areas, told me she could help and then told me she also does dry needling and recommended this for me. Huh?

You can google it, but basically it’s like acupuncture that penetrates deeper into the muscles so that your muscles twitch and release their tension pretty immediately. Side effects include slight bruising and possible stiffness for a day or two or three. As I’m feeling adventurous these days, I decided to try it, which is strange to me because I usually would want to do research before trying something new. Afterwards I looked it up, and its not yet legal in California but is widely used in Europe and South Africa. I’ll let you know if it works. I do sense an ability to move my neck to the right further than I could before, so I’m hoping for success. She just did a couple spots to start, to see how my body responds and I’m supposed to go back next week to continue treatment.

I told her I still wanted the massage, but she told me she was out of time because she only booked a half hour appointment. We had different expectations, but she said she would ask her colleague to continue and give me a massage, but she first had to finish her lunch.

This is such a strange concept to me. Here I am, in their office awaiting and expecting service, yet they were all busy. I don’t get that. I have gotten used to the Dutch ways and I still needed a massage, so I said no worries, I’ll wait. So I sat at a table in front of the kitchen/bar area of this place, while the colleague crunched her crackers with cheese and pickles as slowly and loudly as possible for what felt like an hour. After 10 minutes of patiently waiting, I started to get antsy. I had to pick up the kids in an hour and I didn’t know how long she wold take for my massage. So I asked politely, how long do you plan on giving me a massage. She told me she was almost done with her lunch, that she was on her last cracker and that it would last 20 minutes. I wanted to walk out but the escalation of commitment was too high and I really needed some therapy. I should have left though. Trust your gut is all I can say.

I followed her into her massage room, and she started cleaning off her desk. She was not very professional and did not offer me any form of privacy. I kept waiting for the deep tissue massage to come, but it never happened. There were some repetitive strokes, and a few deep stretches but nothing near the trigger points. And then she was done before it felt like she even started. I was so disappointed. My expectations were a bit different than hers I guess!

So does anyone know of a good deep tissue masseuse in the Amsterdam area? Or maybe California? 🙂

I decided afterwards to do some retail therapy instead with Juliana to get ready for her belated birthday party this weekend. I loved how the mall was decorated with spring flowers, even though winter is lingering a bit longer this season. The fresh scents made me smile despite the cold winter air.

Namaste

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