Day 329: Goodbyes Suck

Posted in moving by adrianahartley

Letting go… namaste

I had the best day again today.

Yet I am fully aware of the change that is looming.

As I live in the moment and enjoy these last 3 weeks in Europe and the last few days of school, I am feeling the heaviness of what’s to come.

I feel extreme joy in the celebration of life with good friends, fully aware of the loss I’m going to feel when we say goodbye for the summer… for the school year… for the end of this journey.

Today I went paddling for 1 1/2 hours with Barbara and enjoyed being on the water. Afterwards, we swung from a rope swing over and into the water and swam to the dock, just like kids. Can you see the smile that was on my face? I did yoga on the board before coming in and the picture above is me relaxing and letting go. What a perfect way to spend the morning. Thank you, my friend!

Jen invited me to join her for a sushi lunch. I learned from her that sometimes it takes awhile for friendships to bloom and a year just isn’t long enough! But once you establish roots, I think you can go anywhere and pick up where you left off, right Jen? I’m going to believe that! And if Lucy can Facetime with you from Russia, surely I can figure out how to keep in touch from America.

Finally, we had a swim party for the kids to celebrate with their friends and mine. What kids don’t like swimming? They were all so happy and the parents enjoyed chatting and relaxing too while the kids played. I received a wonderful, personalized, handmade pottery gift from Bob that really meant a lot to me. He’s been taking a pottery class and took the time to create something special for our family. I’d share it, but it has an inscription with our address, that I’ll save to share after we move. Thank you, Bob! What a cool and unique gift!! I love it. As we left the pool, two friends came home with us for a pizza dinner and a sleepover. I’ve got to make sure they are living it up too and bending all the rules. Change is good!

I know change is coming and I’m ok with that, but it doesn’t change how I feel about it. It sucks to have to say goodbye, yet I know we have to and I know we can keep in touch and possibly see our friends again, but our day to day lives together are about to change. And that makes me sad, even though I know what waits for us back home is good.

It’s that yin and yang thing again… the constant in life. The constant balancing and rebalancing and adapting. I think I’m getting the hang of it, and know how to do it, but I’m feeling it. Can you feel it? Do you know what I’m talking about? It’s probably no different for the mama’s sending their babies off to college this year… it’s the right thing to do, change is happening, growth is occurring and new stages are developing, but not without a sense of loss and letting go.

So today I wish us all the peace to let go, and to know how and when, and to breathe, and to feel it and to smile and to move on with grace. The way we are supposed to, even when it’s hard and it sucks and it’s ok.

Namaste.

17Jun2013

Day 327: The Bathtub Musesum – aka Stedelijk Museum in Amsterdam

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If you’re going to be in Amsterdam for more than 3 days, get yourself the Museum Card. For one fee, you can drop in on several of the best museums for one price and for as long as you like. It’s brilliant and makes art and history more easily attainable.

Today I had some errands to run in the city. I rode my bike in because I love riding now, especially since it was warm and sunny. I had an extra hour and was passing by the Stedelijk Museum, that is shaped like a gigantic bathtub from the outside. At first, I was just going to stop in the museum store to look for another gift to bring back to the states. But they didn’t have what I needed, and since I have a museum card, I figured I should take a quick stroll through. I’ll share a few pictures and a few thoughts.

First of all, the SM is a moden museum and I don’t typically appreciate modern ar. But I like to learn about things I know nothing about, and not that I would learn a lot in an hour, but I did learn that I was more curious and intrigued and wanted to know more. That’s always good.

What I noticed was that the museum wasn’t crowded, not with people and not with art. The space was open and uncrowded and minimalist. I think this fits with the look and feel of modern art in general. Some pieces were curiosities and others I couldn’t understand. Some made me think and wonder, and some I just walked right by. When I read the little poster boards describing the different are pieces, I gained more insights and wanted to know more about the artists and their thinking. I especially liked the photography art work on the beach, showing the innocence of the children staring directly at the camera, from all over the world, by Rineke Dijkstra. Vincent Van Gogh’s work always catches my eye too. I love his brash brush strokes that define his work and makes it readily identifiable.

The other weird experience was “walking” into a bar, called the Beanery by Edward Kienholz. This was represented with strange artifacts from a bar from West LA, where the patrons’ faces are all made from clock faces. “The entire work symbolizs the switch from real time… the the surrealist time inside the bar, where people waste time, kill time, forget time, and ignore time,” Kienholz explained. Only one person could walk in the exhibit at a time and had to leave your bag outside. It was tight and dark, and there were recordings playing that made you feel like you were in the local bar. Very weird!

All in all, I’m glad I went to see it and now I want to learn more. I don’t think I’ll ever be bored!! I have so much to learn. Modern art, here I come!

Adriana

16Jun2013

Day 326: Today is My Birthday!!

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I Am Happy!

I love birthdays! I love mine and yours and celebrating life. I love the songs and presents and decorations. I love the attention and the meaning of birthdays, and bringing people together. I love chocolate cake and ice cream and blowing out candles, as long as I don’t think of spit flying out on the cake when you blow!! I am so thankful every time another milestone comes and have no problem with getting older, except I don’t really like the wrinkles and gray hairs that serve as receipts for the aging process. I’d just as well skip the receipt!!

Today is my birthday and Father’s Day and I was lucky enough to celebrate it in Amsterdam with my family and friends, out on the water. Nothing makes me happier than being on the water, in the sunshine and being with loved ones. Thanks, Kurt and Ali for sharing your boat and day with us. And thank you Blythe for my cool card and delicious birthday cupcakes. You made my day!

I Am truly blessed and am filled with gratitude for the 40+ years of my life! It just keeps getting better! Thanks mom and dad for giving me life. Thank you to all of my friends, family, teachers, mentors and acquaintances who have connected with me and made my life more meaningful.

My birthday wish is to share with you peace, love and happiness. Namaste.

Char and I went for a bike ride with the Bakfiets this morning and found a fun, new little park.

My “twin” boys enjoying each other on the tram ride into the city. I love when they get along.

I love Amsterdam!

Beautiful Amsterdam from the Prinsengracht

My honeys making our birthday/father’s day dinner. Juliana picked the menu and Jeff helped her while I got to lay on the couch. Thanks, guys!! The best part was not thinking of what to eat/cook and hearing Juliana say she understands how much work it takes to get a family meal on the table. Love her. Love this life. Loved the dinner! xoxo Thank you!!

14Jun2013

Day 323: What You Give, You Receive

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I believe in positive thinking and focusing on what’s good, even though I’m not naive and know that not everything is really good. I feel that by thinking about and paying attention to what’s right and what’s good about others, I have the opportunity to celebrate these gifts every day and I find happiness this way. And by celebrating the goodness and the light in my little part of the world and more importantly those around me, I receive the gifts back. It’s an amazing process that I’m still learning and hopefully sharing and creating with you. And let me tell you, the journey of acceptance is amazing and rewarding.

I am blessed.

Tonight my friends had a party in my honor to celebrate our friendship together in this short year. All 20 people who were invited attended. We all wanted to be together and we’re all so busy but made time for dinner and dancing. Some of us had guests just fly in tonight. Some are flying out first thing in the morning. Others had recitals and swim diplomas and a 100 other things to do on a “work” night, but everyone came. I was so touched and honored and I kept wondering how that happened. I know that when typically you throw a party, usually at least 25% will not be able to show up for one reason or another. But tonight… 100%! Thank you, friends for your presence!!

Carolyn and Jen planned a wonderful dinner party at what felt like someone’s house. It was an intimate setting just for us, in the middle of Albert Cuypstraat at Saskia’s Huiskamer. You’ll definitely want to look this place up if you need a place for 25 or less. The table was set with beautiful floral bouquets, and gift bags for each guests. It was intimate and warm and the ambiance was perfect. Everyone was asked to wear something orange in honor of our new Dutch heritage.

We enjoyed several courses and after each course, we would get up and switch seats so that everyone got a chance to mingle and chat with one another. This was brilliant! Through out the night, my friends got up to share a story about how we met and how we became friends. I think I cried several times and was so touched by their meaningful words. I love our community of friends and what we’ve created in this short year together.

After dinner, Jane turned on the music and we danced the night away until the next day! We had some wild fun together with our orange boas, the white silly looking stuffed horse, the orange wig and the orange sunglasses.

Thank you all for being my forever friends. I will miss you all and will take you with me on our next journey and hope y’all come visit me in California. I love you!!

Namaste.

12Jun2013

Day 322: I Declare

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Did you know that when you leave the Netherlands that you have to go to the town hall and declare your intent to depart the country? Luckily Jeff knew this and that our awesome Relocation Consultant knew this too. Today we visited the Gemeente Amstelveen with our passports and filled out our Declaration of Departure Relocation Abroad Form (in case you want to know what to request when you ever have to leave your new country).

It didn’t take long, but we both had to be present to sign our intent on the form and choose the date we plan to no longer be residents. They printed out temporary official forms and put them in a plastic sleeve for us to carry until our official departure date arrives and they can officially deregister our family. I think we get to keep our Dutch Residence Cards as souvenirs.

I declare that it feels weird to sign out – kind of like we’re getting a receipt or a diploma for our experience here. Weird.

Afterwards, we walked over to the old part of downtown and had lunch at one of the restaurants we first visited when we arrived in Amstelveen – a delicious little Korean restaurant. Jeff and I both love ethnic food and this place reminds us of a place near our home in Sunnyvale, where there is a large Korean population right down the street. Lunch was excellent! It’s called Damso if you want to try it for yourself. I couldn’t find a website for them, but here’s more information: http://www.iens.nl/restaurant/23922/amstelveen-damso

By the way, we also had a cleaning service company come visit the house who specializes in preparing houses for new tenants so that you don’t lose any of your rental deposit. The lady who came by today was very thorough and seems like she really knows her business and the expat community. I’ll let you know what the estimate is and if we like her, if this information would be valuable to you. I didn’t think about having to clean the drapes and to dust out the attic. Sounds pretty thorough to me.

On a more fun note and another sign that the year is wrapping up, I met with a team today to discuss Grade 8 celebrations. I’m the parent rep for Christian’s grade and am helping with planning the details for his “graduation” ceremony. I can’t believe he starts high school in the fall. And knowing that Katie graduated from high school this year, and feeling like it was just yesterday that I watched her walk to kindergarten for the first day of school, I know these next four years are going to speed by so quickly. I want to slow time down and savor every moment. I declare that I’m happy that we’re moving back home when we are so that Christian can start high school with his friends in our local neighborhood. This makes me content and feels right, and helps me to accept and appreciate this transition and it’s timing. Ahhh… that feels better! I just had to talk it out. 😉

Natural beauty inviting us into Vondel Park

I have one last celebration to share before wrapping things up for the day. Tonight we were invited to a very special 2 year old’s birthday party in Vondel Park. The kids and I took the bus into the city and walked to the park to meet up with Jen and Todd and friends. It was nice to be together outside and I loved watching how happy Miss J was, eating her ice cream cake, running with her friends, opening presents and flirting with the fitness group in the park. When I asked her for a hug goodbye, she came running and gave me a big hug, saying “I love you” back to me. I am going to miss her little face and her playful personality, and her mama too!

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter, Jen! You look so happy.

Happy girl – a bit blurry having to crop out the leg that walked in front of this cute face!

Miss J joining the fitness fun bootcamp in the park.

Charlie playing in the park with his friend G.

I declare it was a good day, a fulfilling day, and I am content listening to the rain, even though it’s June 12th!

What do you declare?

Namaste.

9Jun2013

Day 319: The Joys of Presence

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Here I Am. Am-ing. Just being, and enjoying the journey that unfolds. I love to be in the moment, but am not always comfortable not having a plan. But I am loving the process of flowing with whatever comes my way and am always so pleasantly surprised with how life twists and turns.

I have a friend here that is full of life. She is always smiling, loves her life, her kids and her husband. She is athletic and enjoys entertaining. She makes time for herself, her kids and her husband. And her eyes sparkle. I love being around her and love that she knows what it’s like to be an expat, because she was once one too. And I think because of her experience, she understands me and has reached out to me, making me feel at home here, inviting me to join her for coffee, lunch, dinner, paddling, swimming, ice skating, and today a Sunday morning tennis match. I am so thankful for our friendship and admire her and learn from her and enjoy her company. I am going to miss you, Barbara. Thank you for being my friend and kicking my ass today at tennis! Rematch?

…..

After coming home from tennis and sharing a cup of tea, Jeff and I went on a spontaneous date to the Trompen museum in Amsterdam. We took the tram into the city and walked through Oosterpark to the museum, holding hands. The architecture itself was gorgeous, and the artifacts from the Dutch colonies were very interesting. Afterwards, we stopped in a Biergarten for some biterballen and cold beer from the tap. We are enjoying having kids who are of the age that they can stay home alone. We were only gone for 3 hours and it was perfect! Here are some photos from the museum and around town.

Oosterpark

The Royal Tropical institute is very fascinating, highlighting the tropical areas of the world, focusing on the former colonies of the Netherlands such as Indonesia, Surinam, India, and others. I especially enjoyed seeing the different religious and philosophical influences and seeing the different artifacts. I think I would enjoy studying how they interrelate and making connections between the different beliefs. One love, one world. Namaste.

How did your Sunday flow?

Leidseplein – waiting for the 5 tram to head home.

8Jun2013

Day 318: Amsterdam in the Sun

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I was supposed to go paddling today, but the wind was strongly blowing and the temperature dropped today to where it wouldn’t be comfortable if you fell in the water. But the sun was shining and it was a gorgeous day to be in the city instead. The boys were invited to go for a boat ride and took the tram by themselves into the centrum to meet up with friends. We then spontaneously decided to wander around Amsterdam with Juliana, walking the streets and exploring the city which is always fun, especially when escorted by sunshine. Here are pictures from a perfect, random day in Amsterdam. Life is good, friends.

. Great day to be on the water! Thanks Kurt and Ally.

My favorite flowers in the Lindengraacht Markt.

Bubble fun makes me smile.

Mail delivery, Dutch style.

Kid taxi. Jeff wants one of these for beer and bbq transport.

Gorgeous day in the city!

Best buddies! Waiting for the 5 tram.

So these pictures are my receipt for putting one foot in front of the other and not having a plan, and letting life unfold how it’s meant to be. I started the day off anxiously and am ending with joy. I wish you the same. Go outside and play.

7Jun2013

Day 316: Purchased Tickets and More Goodbyes

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Today I bought tickets for the kids and I to move back home next month. It is really happening and I have mixed feelings about it. I guess this is part of the repatriation process and today was another step closer to my comfy bed back home! I purchased the tickets and then posted the announcement on Facebook. I then privately messaged my closest friends and family back home, sharing with them our good news. And then I went through another anxiety loop and felt sad, and private messaged my closest friends here in Amsterdam. I am going to miss them so much and don’t look forward to the hard goodbyes. I guess the good thing is that people care about me and I care about them, and its normal and natural to feel saddened when you won’t be with each other as often as usual. It’s all good, like I always say… I am lucky.

In the spirit of living it up every day, we celebrated with Patty and Brian one last time before they leave for the summer on Saturday. We met at the Conservatorium for dinner in the Brasserie. I really liked the ambiance, high vaulted glass ceiling, great food, excellent service and wonderful company. We had an enjoyable evening together and I’m not going to even think about missing them. We’ll just see each other again soon in California or Las Vegas, Amsterdam or Minneapolis.

Namaste.

5Jun2013

Day 315: So Happy When the Sun Shines

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I am a California Girl – it’s the place I’m happiest, but I have to tell you, today made me pretty happy to be in Holland. Amsterdam is such a great city. It reminds me a bit of San Francisco, with all the charming neighborhoods with quaint restaurants, locals and tourists mixing, interesting architecture, and just a cool vibe.

My day started with sunshine, and a bike ride into the city. I met up with Jen for my second pedicure since we moved here 315 days ago. It was very relaxing and we had fun chatting about what it was like moving here and how many suitcases we brought with us on the plane. I think she beat me!! Just a tip – be sure to know how many suitcases you’re allowed, what the weight limit is and if they weigh your personal items. Otherwise, you might end up paying fees equal to the price of another international fare, right Jen?

After our pedicures, I figured out how to cycle into the centrum to meet Jeff for lunch. We found a delicious Spanish restaurant with a table outside in the Jordan area. I loved it because the food was different and new to us, the service was quick, and the streets weren’t crowded. We tried Spanish tortillas made with potatoes and topped with goat cheese and mushrooms. So yummy and filling.

My orange bike parked in the shade by Jeff’s office on the Keizersgracht

A view of the Westerkerk near the Ann Frank house

Cool architecture in the Jordan

Lunch with my honey

Beautiful canal – Keizersgracht from Leidseplein

Don’t you want to be one of those people sitting on the terrace by the canal? I love the bikes and boat and the guy sitting on the wall. Our friends live right here!! How lucky are they?

Ending the day out on my patio watching Charlie play outside and seeing Juliana bake. Life is good.

Ending the day out on my patio watching Charlie play outside and Juliana enjoying herself baking double chocolate chip cookies. Life is good. Cheers!

4Jun2013

Day 314: Biking Around Amsterdam Without a Map

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I had a list of plans for today, but the sun was shining so I had to go outside all day. Patti Beth and I went for a long bike ride without a direction or plan, but to be outside just biking. We left around 9:30 am and came back in time for my physio appointment at 1 pm.

A view of the Amstel River in Amsterdam on a gorgeous day.

Holland is so beautiful and the bike paths make it very easy to cycle around and through all the towns. We started from my house and rode into Ouderkerk and followed the Amstel River into Amsterdam.

Seeing the water always makes me happy and add the sunshine, warm weather and a great friend… life doesn’t get much better than this.

Once we got to Amsterdam, neither of us really knew which direction to go. We had a hunch, and luckily this time we both were right and headed in the right direction, not that we really knew where we were headed, but just towards the center. It’s kind of fun not knowing where you’re going and just enjoying the journey. I mean, we had a general idea of what to expect, but we weren’t quite sure which road or which turn to take, but we were happy just enjoying the new sites around Amsterdam and kept moving forward. Kinda like this whole expat journey, now that I think about it.

We ended up on the back side of Albert Cuypstraat and were pleasantly surprised. We walked our bikes up and down the uncrowded market streets, stopping to buy a sweater for me, and fresh artichokes for dinner. Patti Beth knew of a Surinamese restaurant and we stopped in there for a quick, tasty shared lunch before figuring out our way back home.

We both surprised ourselves how we navigated the city, because we weren’t so good the first time we tried to find a fun shop in the Jordaan… kind of like the blind leading the blind. But I guess we’re getting used to navigating Amsterdam… not that it’s that big, but maybe we’ve just become local enough to feel like we belong here. Hmm…

A perfect day.

What did you discover today? Did you do something that challenged you?