paying attention | here i am

What we pay attention to, we create.

If we’re in a good mood, we tend to notice good things and over look things that stand in the way of our happiness.

If we say we’re tired, we’re tired.

But what happens when we’re tired, and instead we say to ourselves that we’re not tired? What happens? Maybe we don’t pay attention to the feelings of being tired and keep on going anyway. That’s what I do. I’m not tired. Until my body shuts down and tells me I’m tired, then I believe it. Then I notice. But most of the time I refuse to give in to tiredness and keep going, enjoying all that life has to share. It’s a state of mind.

I believe in the power of the mind to create our reality, which is why I focus on sharing positive thoughts and happiness every day. I want to be happy and I want to create it for myself, for my family, my friends and my community.

Usually, I can stay in a positive state of mind, but sometimes I lose it. I don’t like myself very much when I give up and succumb to the negative feelings and let them take over. But that’s reality too. I know. I just don’t like it.

Tonight I was tired. I was also sick and up 4 times last night, so I know I was really tired. My body told me so. But I wasn’t paying attention and was very snappish tonight. I didn’t like that I lost my patience and got angry with one of my kids. It’s normal and real, I know, but I prefer the other side of me, much more when I can stay present and focused on the bigger picture of raising great, independent kids, patiently, and not overreacting to their childish behavior. Duh. They’re kids. I know. But I was tired. I noticed how much they were bugging me and paid attention there and reacted accordingly. *big sigh*

Some days are just like that. Even in Australia.

Luckily feelings are fleeting and we noticed we were both tired and snappish and said our sorries so that we could go on living and loving and laughing again. Ahhh… luckily that didn’t take too long.

And so it was. And so it is. Perfectly imperfect.

Hope you noticed more good than bad today and lived your happily ever after. Today. Namaste and good night.

It was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

This is an idiom which alludes to the proverb “it is the last straw that breaks the camel’s back”, according to Wikipedia, that describes how a minor routine action causes an unpredictably large and sudden reaction, because of the cumulative effect of small actions. (Wikipedia)

It was going to sleep that finally broke me. I thought I slept wrong and it caused my neck to seize up. But I knew it wasn’t just sleep. My neck and shoulder and arm have been hurting for literally years, with headaches almost daily. I’ve done hardly anything to fix it, except hope that it goes away. Hope failed.

After 4 days of continuous pain, I finally went to see the doctor. She noticed that my left shoulder was an inch higher than my right. She referred me to specialists and prescribed muscle relaxers and told me not to play tennis for a week or two. *big sigh*

I knew something was wrong, and yet I didn’t want to take the time to go to the doctor and to seek specialty care. But denial doesn’t change what is. My positive thinking didn’t make it better. I had to slow down and since I didn’t do it on my own, my body took over for me and stopped me in my tracks. The best part of being in pain is the empathy I feel for all my BeLoveRs who carry pain with them as part of their daily lives. Pain hurts and robs us of opportunity and freedom and lowers our levels of happiness because our focus is on our body and not so much our experiences.

I was lucky to get in with a chiropractor last minute today and was a little scared. I have never been before and I am not one to go to the doctor unless I’m “dying.” He was very nice to me, and explained everything before starting his adjustments. As he started examining me, he told me that my body was in the red zone, and that my nerves were on fire. I could hardly move my neck from side to side nor up nor down. That is not something you really want to hear, and yet it did validate everything my body has been screaming at me.

He noticed that one of my legs was “longer” than the other, which justified the work he was about to do. He cracked this, and moved that and rubbed here and pulled there. It was scary and relieving and he restored about 40% more movement to my body. He said that our bodies need maintenance, just like our cars do and that mine was way over due for servicing, or something like that.

I did notice a difference after seeing him and was thankful for his work and squeezing me in at the last minute.

I need to rest and go back again in a couple of days. I think I’m looking forward to the massage portion of this treatment plan the most.

Maybe that person can turn the straw to gold! 🙂

Be well, BeLoveRs. Take care of your one little body.