Tag Archives: pain

Gifts Not Gaps

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Pain and loss are part of our lives, sometimes personally and other times experienced by our loved ones and thus affecting us.

What are we to do with pain?  How do we healthfully process it and accept it and continue living happily ever?

Pain creates a glaring gap that’s hard to ignore. It creates a hole in our lives and stops us and sometimes even changes the trajectory of our journey. It creates a gap between our dreams and our reality that is not in our control.

Sometimes we get stuck and can only see and feel the pain and fall into the gap. How do we get out?

I think the secret to moving on and processing the pain and moving forward is spending more time focusing on our gifts instead of what is lacking. It’s a practice of gratitude for all that is still good, despite the despair.  The pain doesn’t just dissipate because we’re thinking happy thoughts, but we get to choose where to focus our energy and to adapt to our circumstances.

If we choose to focus on the gap, then that is where we will stay and that is what we will experience the most. If we choose to focus on what is good and working in our lives, potentially, eventually, we will close the gap and be able to move forward despite what’s missing and causing grief. Perhaps the gap will slowly diminish to the point that it doesn’t draw us in and define us.

I think we want to define ourselves by the goodness in our lives and the potential that lies in front of us everyday, despite our sufferings. We understand that pain and suffering exist for whatever reasons, however we don’t want to live in this space for very long. We have to keep choosing to see the good, despite the gap, and moving forward.

I think this is where the mind is very powerful and can help to transform us and help us to live happily ever after, even after experiencing pain and loss, if we are able to choose to allow ourselves this gift of life and all that is good, that is available to us despite the pain, right now.

See the good in you and others and really focus on what is good in our life, and acknowledge the gaps, but don’t dwell there. Perhaps the gap will eventually diminish and become part of our past as it shapes our future, so that we can live fully in the present.

Wishing you peace and love, BeLoveRs, focused on gifts, not gaps.

nAMasteIMG_7211

 

Heartbroken

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Today I Am      sad.

Grief comes in waves and you never know when a wave is going to come crashing.

Today is Chase’s 18th birthday and he’s celebrating it in heaven, while the rest of us remember and grieve in our own ways.

I can’t imagine what the pain feels like for his mama and dad and brother and sister, if what we are feeling is like this.

The only thing I know is that we have to keep paddling to not drown.

And so we moved through our day, doing what we “had” to do, yet feeling such an extreme loss and feeling confused, not really understanding why.

I know that he was loved and that his family is loved beyond words, beyond gifts, beyond what is. Everyone wanted to share in the pain and to love them through it, providing tangible and intangible help.

Maybe that’s all we’re supposed to do. Just love, and wait and be kind and lift each other up while we wait for this feeling, this wave of grief, to subside.

Wishing us all peace and love. xo

Love you.

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The Straw

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It was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

This is an idiom which alludes to the proverb “it is the last straw that breaks the camel’s back”, according to Wikipedia, that describes how a minor routine action causes an unpredictably large and sudden reaction, because of the cumulative effect of small actions. (Wikipedia)

It was going to sleep that finally broke me.  I thought I slept wrong and it caused my neck to seize up. But I knew it wasn’t just sleep. My neck and shoulder and arm have been hurting for literally years, with headaches almost daily. I’ve done hardly anything to fix it, except hope that it goes away. Hope failed.

After 4 days of continuous pain, I finally went to see the doctor. She noticed that my left shoulder was an inch higher than my right. She referred me to specialists and prescribed muscle relaxers and told me not to play tennis for a week or two. *big sigh*

I knew something was wrong, and yet I didn’t want to take the time to go to the doctor and to seek specialty care.  But denial doesn’t change what is. My positive thinking didn’t make it better.  I had to slow down and since I didn’t do it on my own, my body took over for me and stopped me in my tracks.  The best part of being in pain is the empathy I feel for all my BeLoveRs who carry pain with them as part of their daily lives.  Pain hurts and robs us of opportunity and freedom and lowers our levels of happiness because our focus is on our body and not so much our experiences.

I was lucky to get in with a chiropractor last minute today and was a little scared. I have never been before and I am not one to go to the doctor unless I’m “dying.”  He was very nice to me, and explained everything before starting his adjustments. As he started examining me, he told me that my body was in the red zone, and that my nerves were on fire. I could hardly move my neck from side to side nor up nor down. That is not something you really want to hear, and yet it did validate everything my body has been screaming at me.

He noticed that one of my legs was “longer” than the other, which justified the work he was about to do. He cracked this, and moved that and rubbed here and pulled there.  It was scary and relieving and he restored about 40% more movement to my body. He said that our bodies need maintenance, just like our cars do and that mine was way over due for servicing, or something like that.

I did notice a difference after seeing him and was thankful for his work and squeezing me in at the last minute.

I need to rest and go back again in a couple of days. I think I’m looking forward to the massage portion of this treatment plan the most.

Maybe that person can turn the straw to gold! 🙂

Be well, BeLoveRs.  Take care of your one little body.

Tragedy

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It was foggy on Tuesday. I was happy to see the grey skies and enjoyed the cool air and putting on a sweatshirt, feeling cozy and ready for the change in seasons.

But who knew that the change was going to last forever this day and that the fog probably won’t ever lift, even after the sun began to shine again?

We have lost a young, loved one in our family and we are broken.

I’ve sat frozen and cried and haven’t been able to think or do much of anything and haven’t wanted to be happy or write or share, out of respect and out of shock.  I’m just going through the motions of living, in a fog and waiting. I don’t know what I’m waiting for. I think maybe I’ll feel better once I get to go home and be with my family.

I know how to be happy and I’m learning how to deal with grief, but I’m not doing a very good job at it.

I’m not looking for sympathy.  I know that everyone has to struggle in life and that there are no guarantees, and sometimes life can be really painful.

I wish no mother ever had to lose a child.

I wish for peace and healing for my family.

I wish that children could be protected from pain and stay innocent.

I wish you love.

Namaste.