Domestic Goddess Taxi Driver

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

Sometimes my life must sound so glamorous. Haha! Just kidding, but it’s really not. I truly try to make the most of every day and to fit so many things in before I crash onto my pillow at night. I rise at 6:15 am and begin working right away – decluttering and starting laundry and the dishwasher and helping with breakfast and lunches before heading out at 7:15 am with drop offs, unless Jeff does the drop offs and I get to continue cleaning!

I wanted to share what the second half of my day looked like, after cleaning toilets and bedrooms and shopping at Costco. Oh, and being present to see my son’s speech as he was running for President of his school today and WON!!

This was definitely the highlight of my day. Congratulations Charlie and to all his friends who were so brave and prepared such great posters and speeches and took the risk to stand in front of their classmates to share their stories, hopes and dreams to become future council members. They were truly amazing and talented fifth graders! I am so proud of them.

So back to the second half of my day… I am basically a taxi driver with 15 minute – 45 minute gaps in between my driving hours from 2:30 pm until 8:30 pm. Here’s what today looked like, however Jeff was working locally today and was able to help me with our shuttle service.

2:30 Pick up Juliana from school

3:00 Pick up Christian from school

4:00 Drop off Christian to practice

5:00 Drop off Charlie to practice

6:00 Drop off Juliana to practice

6:30 Pick up Charlie from practice

7:00 Pick you Christian from practice

8:00 Pick up Juliana from practice.

Isn’t that so glamorous? Just kiddin’ But I did enjoy feeling the sunset on my face as I waited in the car and seeing the huge, red sun setting as we drove home after Christian’s practice.

Life is good!

I hope your domestic life is beautiful. Have a great weekend, my BeLoveRs. xo

18Sep2014

Baby Steps and Letting Go

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I’m listening Wise Ones. I’m enjoying the moments and practicing being present even when I’m so done paying attention to the ever demanding little one, knowing that I don’t have them forever. I’ve enjoyed endless snuggles this week. So thank you for sharing your sage advice.

Facebook and email and laundry can wait.

My baby is now riding his bike to school. I stand outside and watch him go, praying that he’ll be safe without me guiding and protecting him. I hope I’ve taught this proud one well.

I'm not ready but he is and I support him and wave goodbye every morning and give him a big kiss.

Baby steps. Letting the leash out a little more and transferring responsibility. Letting go. Aaawwwwweee!

How have you experienced letting go? I wish you well.

9Sep2014

I Want A Relationship With You

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“Good relationships are not just about the good times you share; they’re also about the obstacles you go through together…and the fact that you still say I love you in the end.” – unknown author

Several things happened today that made me think of the importance of relationships. I learned about the importance of forgiveness, letting go, compassion, being grateful and do-overs. I’ll share one of the stories today, and perhaps save the others for another day.

My youngest has been needing lots of attention lately and I’m not sure why. He does things a little bit more slowly, a little bit more noisily, he’s a little more needy, and a lot more demanding. Basically he’s irritating all of us all, well most all, of the time.

This morning when I asked him to get busy with his chores and to get ready for school, he just sat. He then moved to another near by chair and laid over the arm and spun around for a bit, not really hearing my words for whatever reason. This happened repeatedly, as you can imagine and possibly even happens in your home. When I asked him to sit quietly, he tapped his pencil. If I asked him to stop tapping his pencil, he stomped his foot. It was like he couldn’t hear me, or maybe he did, and he rather enjoyed the negative attention he was receiving from his irritated housemates.

So when I told him he was in trouble for not behaving and for creating conflict in our family, he didn’t like that. I sent him to his room, and told him he was to come straight back there after school. This agitated him because “he did nothing wrong,” of course, and didn’t understand why I was so mean. I explained myself and told him that was it. He disappeared for thirty seconds and returned, asking for a do-over. He was sorry for being irritating and wanted to start over again. I said no. He hemmed and hawed, and walked away and then came back again with his bed made, dressed and ready to try again.

He came and sat on my lap and asked for a do-over again. I said no. He then said, “Mom, I want to try again. I want to have a relationship with you and I want to play with you and I don’t mean to ignore you. I don’t know why I do that and I am not trying to be irritating.” Again, I said no. I felt like I needed to be kind and firm and I needed to be a disciplinarian and enforce the rules, so that he’ll learn.

He left again, did more work (or messed around) and came back again, asking for the same thing, again with more emphasis: “Mom, I just want to love you and I want a relationship with you. I learned my lesson and I’m sorry. Please let’s start over again and have a do-over mom.”

This time I listened, even though I didn’t want to. I wanted to do what was right and teach him a lesson. But what I wanted more than that was to have a loving relationship with him, just like he wanted with me. I looked at him, and opened my arms, and asked him, “Why are you so smart?” And he said, “Because I am.”

I believed him and gave him a hug and told him I wanted a relationship with him too and we needed a do-over, to begin again and to respect one another. He smiled and let me kiss his face. I told him how much I loved him and I think he heard me this time.

Love wins.

And hopefully we’ll keep practicing the discipline thing together, learning together and loving one another as we grow our relationship. I want a relationship with him too.

Namaste.

3Sep2014

Ice cream

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Special guest writer! Charlie

Today my mom had to take my sister to the Orthodontist. When we got there, Nemo was playing in the waiting room. I don’t really like that movie, but today I did. I was talking to my mom when Nemo’s dad asked the other fish where the boat went.

I said, “Fish only have a memory span of 5 seconds,” so those fish won’t even remember that boats exist. Later I said, “Gosh fish sleep with there eyes open,” but in the movie the fish had their eyes closed. Those movie makers need to study ! I know more about fish than them!

Then we went to Safeway and went shopping for ice cream. Right now I’m thinking like my mom: ice cream reminds me of happiness. I chose birthday cake! Yuuuuuuuuummmmmmm! I also picked Magic Shell and sugar cones because those are fun and my mom was fun today too. I was so Happy! Right when I went home, I had my ice cream and sugar cone! It was so creamy and cold and it was so yummy!

Then my sister did the ice bucket challenge for ALS! She got covered in cold water and I surprised her because I hid with another bucket of water and threw it on her from behind.

I laughed. P.S. I already did the ice bucket challenge and it wasn’t that cold.

Today was fun because my mom spoiled me and I got to tease my sister and even have ice cream.

Ice cream to all!! And a very good birthday to my Opa today!!

from Charlie

22Apr2014

Happy Earth Day!

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I love any reason to celebrate life and why not choose today to celebrate our beautiful Earth. Not that I did much, but I did have the opportunity to be present and outside thanks to Charlie.

We have a new, comfy outdoor couch which is so amazing, because we all want to go sit on it everyday, which makes us go outside. I hope the newness doesn’t wear off.

Today Charlie insisted that we go sit outside for awhile when he came home from school. It was just the two of us and this was the last thing I wanted to do. I had a list in my head a mile long of the things I was hoping to accomplish before his baseball game and picking up Juliana and Christian from their events, and getting ready for my meeting tonight, not to mention the dinner I had not yet planned out.

But his little voice saying, “C’mon mama, come outside and sit with me.” I could not resist. My list was now at the bottom of my priority list and I didn’t care.

I went outside because I truly believe in living in the moment and being present and practicing this concept as often as humanly possible even when I really don’t want to. We went outside. I brought my project with me. But of course, I put it down on the table once outside because a certain little someone wanted to sit on my lap and feel the sunshine together. He wanted my undivided attention and I surrendered. I felt the warmth of the sun shining down on us and loved every minute of it. Soon we were snuggling, playing hide and seek in the shadows from the sun, wrapped up in each other, hiding our faces and trying to see each others’ eyes in the dark. I lifted my arm that was providing the shadows and the sunshine seeped in and showed me his one little eye, his little nose and big lips. I could have stayed there all day. We laughed and played and enjoyed the moment before rushing off again.

And that was the highlight of my day. He helped me to rest and sit still and I helped him to relax and rest too after a long day and before his game. It didn’t last all that long, but it was just enough. He soon ran in to get dressed for his game, and I lingered a bit longer, enjoying my little slice of heaven in my backyard.

Happy Earth Day! I hope you got outside and enjoyed Mother Nature. xo

Thank you Charlie for helping me to stop and smell the roses today, that I would have otherwise missed. You are my sunshine and I love you. Congratulations on your two big hits tonight! You’re a hitter now!

5Mar2014

Work Gives You Purpose

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Everyone wants to be industrious. It creates happiness, and gives our life purpose at every age.

The 5th graders are at science camp this week, which leaves their school jobs vacant. Some of the fourth graders decided to ask the principal how they could help. She is so brilliant and I just love her. She found something for those who asked. Who knew she could create such excitement? You would have thought she told the kids they could go to Disneyland.

Charlie came home yesterday and had something very important to ask me. He couldn’t wait for me to get off the phone with my sister, and kept interrupting me. Of course, I’m still trying to teach him patience and respect, and I (meanly) asked him to wait until I was done with my conversation. He obliged and as soon as I hung up he told me his plan.

He had to be at school today by 8:05 am at the latest because he had an important job to do and he had to be on time for his training. He was going to be the school crossing guard and he took his job very seriously. He was so excited and the energy that was coming out of his body was bouncing off the walls, “entertaining” us all. He insisted that we wake him up early and he was the one asking me if I was ready to go way before it was time this morning. I LOVED his enthusiasm.

We were the first of the four students to arrive. He picked out his vest and sign and was ready to report for duty. This is a very serious job and there is a bit of a danger component that made it even more important. I was very proud of his work effort and how he focused on learning the new procedures and executed his role with confidence. I loved watching the kids work with the principal, and I loved being in the group of moms standing on the sidewalk observing and being proud.

All the kids really were truly happy serving and being helpful. This made me realize how important it is for all of us to feel needed and purposeful. He can’t wait to go back to school early again tomorrow and serve again.

Be purposeful.

Be of service.

And you will find happiness. Just like Charlie.

24Sep2013

Pushing the Limits

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I think we pushed Charlie’s limits today and hopefully he’ll still want to ride with me again tomorrow but we’ll see! We may have crossed the not-cool line.

Jeff wanted to go to the school drop off with us this morning, but Charlie and I had planned to take the bakfiets, or the basket bike. We decided to test the limits of the bike. I jumped in the basket with Charlie and his backpack and Jeff drove the Tuk-Tuk with passengers to school! Poor Charlie!! I don’t think I’ll do that to him again…but we did have a good laugh.

You’re a good sport, Charlie!! Thanks for the laugh today. xo

23Jul2013

Life and Death

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Today was bittersweet.

We celebrated life and death on the same day. I felt conflicted. Happy and sad. Yin and yang.

Charlie celebrated his birthday today, so excited to be celebrating his special day that he woke up early around 6 am waiting to go see his birthday surprises that awaited him on the traditionally decorated kitchen table.

I’m not sure what time exactly, but sometime this morning, Irma Kackert began her journey to heaven at the age of 97. Irma was our family neighbor and a mentor to women all around her. She traveled the world and taught swimming to over 1000 children.

We all admired her and feel sad letting her go, even though she was ready. She used to read my blog regularly and would send me private messages thanking me for my writing and sharing my journey. My words helped bring back memories of her traveling days and she would share her stories with me. We had a connection and mutual admiration of each other and I’m going to miss her dearly. God bless you Irma and your family as they adjust to life without you on Earth. You will be missed.

Charlie enjoyed his special day with a pool party and friends. How fitting that he also enjoys the water, just like Irma.

Thinking back to the day he was born and remembering how we didn’t know if he would survive, helps us to really celebrate and enjoy life. He taught me grace and to live in the moment as that was all I had back then for his first two years of life. He gave me the biggest gift, that I enjoy and cherish to this day. Thank you, Charlie! I adore you.

So live it up my friends.

Celebrate life, love and each other.

Godspeed Irma…and be sure to write!

Namaste.

P.S. Photos courtesy of Juliana and Kristine’s Facebook posts today.

19Nov2012

Day 117: Zwarte Piet Came to Our House!!

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Zwarte Piet came to our house last night. I have no idea how he got in, but magically he did! I bet he used the golden key that the mayor gave Sinterklaas. He must have known that Charlie had written a letter and left out treats for Sinterklaas’ horse.

Boy, was Charlie surprised to come downstairs to find that Zwarte Piet had left pepper noten and candy in our Dutch Wooden Shoes!

He was so thrilled that after school today, he wrote a thank you note and left more food for the horse, hoping that he’ll come again.

26Sep2012

Day 63: A Message from Charlie

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Good afternoon. This is Charlie speaking. I hope you are having fun wherever you are, but I think I’m having more fun because I’m on a big, gigantic vacation.

And my house, I think is more fun to play in. I feel really good in Holland. But, the school day is longer here but we have a 45 minute recess. The soccer field is like a real one and it’s made of fake grass and has two goals built in.  I met a new friend that is from Los Altos! I hope you’re having a fun time and I think you’ll like it here. You should come and see me or do what I’m doing right now! You should come to Holland. It’s a nice place. The weather is nice and cold. But it’s fun and warm for me. I only feel the breeze when it’s sunny and sometimes cold. But I’m still wearing my shorts and my soccer suits and shoes.

I like that there are lots of parks with very big playgrounds. Right near my house, there is a place called Adventure Island. Right near Adventure Island, there is a place that kids can drive boats. And there is a ropes course that’s called Fun Forest.

At my school, they have a forest, way in the back. It has a zipline. Our lunch room is brand new. My teacher is super nice! I wish all of my friends in America were here too! That’s what I miss the most!! My friends!

I hope the day was good for you. That is the end of your day when you read this good afternoon message. Good afternoon!! This is Charlie speaking. Oh, sorry. I was thinking something else. Well, back to what I was saying…I hope you enjoyed the good afternoon message. Done.