life celebration | here i am

We felt love today. We felt such sadness and emptiness and at the same time we were surrounded by waves of love.

Family and friends gathered to celebrate Chase, and there was standing room only, overflowing into the hallways and additional rooms.

There were moving tributes and upbeat, heartfelt stories shared that honored our loved one and friend. It was amazing to see all the young people gathered together, remembering, honoring and loving their friend.

The flowers were artistic and beautiful. A lovingly made photo DVD montage played and we smiled seeing all the fun pictures throughout the years. There were displays of his medals and photo boards, and a tribute to the Marines, whom he loved. His motorcycle and helmet were also on display, as well as his varsity letterman jacket.

After the services, we came back to my mom and dad’s house and continued the celebration with toasts, laughter, stories and tears.

It’s hard to believe he’s gone. We miss you Chase and will see you again one day! Love lives on. xoxo

Today was bittersweet.

We celebrated life and death on the same day. I felt conflicted. Happy and sad. Yin and yang.

Charlie celebrated his birthday today, so excited to be celebrating his special day that he woke up early around 6 am waiting to go see his birthday surprises that awaited him on the traditionally decorated kitchen table.

I’m not sure what time exactly, but sometime this morning, Irma Kackert began her journey to heaven at the age of 97. Irma was our family neighbor and a mentor to women all around her. She traveled the world and taught swimming to over 1000 children.

We all admired her and feel sad letting her go, even though she was ready. She used to read my blog regularly and would send me private messages thanking me for my writing and sharing my journey. My words helped bring back memories of her traveling days and she would share her stories with me. We had a connection and mutual admiration of each other and I’m going to miss her dearly. God bless you Irma and your family as they adjust to life without you on Earth. You will be missed.

Charlie enjoyed his special day with a pool party and friends. How fitting that he also enjoys the water, just like Irma.

Thinking back to the day he was born and remembering how we didn’t know if he would survive, helps us to really celebrate and enjoy life. He taught me grace and to live in the moment as that was all I had back then for his first two years of life. He gave me the biggest gift, that I enjoy and cherish to this day. Thank you, Charlie! I adore you.