Being a Cheerleader is HARD!

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I was working hard today and failed.

I am a cheerleader. I get really excited about little things and I cheer out loud with laughter, excited chatter, smiles, jumping up and down and even dancing sometimes, encouraging and exciting my family. Yet sometimes I am the only one who is excited and I don’t get any reaction or connection and they just think I’m crazy.

This usually isn’t a problem because I am a little crazy. It just becomes a problem when I expect a reaction and for them to cheer along with me and then they don’t. When they choose to not share joy with me (the way I think they should in my head), I sometimes get frustrated, mad or sad, it just depends.

So I’ve been really into making breakfasts for my family these past two weeks and accommodating their special needs. This morning I made everyone breakfast, and my husband decided he had to rush out the door and couldn’t have breakfast today. I packaged it up to go and handed it to him to take with him, and he didn’t want it and I felt rejected. I am half Italian and I’ve been raised to feed my family and that it’s good for their health. I have a weird attachment to food and maybe it’s a girl thing, but I feel fulfilled when I feed my loved ones. It’s a way for me to provide for them and it’s an important part of the way I spend every day. So when he didn’t want my food, it wasn’t about the food. He didn’t want me (in my mind) and I know this is insane thinking but again, perfectly imperfectly I sometimes forget and connect food to love.  There was an expectation gap and I was feeling it all day. Luckily I got over myself and he understood why I felt so strongly, but geez, what a waste of breath!!

So my breakfast cheerleading event failed!

Last night was another food cheering fail. I had offered a homemade and delicious dinner to two of the males in my family and even offered to heat their plates. They both acted like I was bothering them because they were busy doing something else and they didn’t want to be bothered by my cheering for food again. And I was in a hurry as I had to be out the door again within 15 minutes. I don’t know why I have to take their “not interested in my meals” as something personal. They’re not trying to be mean; maybe they were just not thinking of eating at the time I interrupted them. I’m not making excuses for them and still think they could have cheered a little bit, but after giving it some space I realized that I was more excited than they were. That’s nothing new!

And then it happened again tonight with my son. I was excited to show him something that we had for him, and he was less than thrilled again by the request. He acted like it was no big deal (to me), and it was a BIG deal (again in my head and not necessarily his). Luckily this time, the expectation gap wasn’t about food, but the gap made me frustrated again.

I need to learn to let go and to not expect anyone to cheer the same way I do.  They cheer in their own ways and that’s okay.

I’ve learned that I have to manage my own expectations and try to align mine with those of others. I’m still practicing and this is hard!  But that, my friends, is the definition of happiness… when our expectations are in alignment with our reality. I want to keep cheering for that! Close the gap and live in the moment, peacefully with others, with ourselves, and expecting nothing less. I’ll keep on cheering, despite the challenges!

Life is good, right now!!

Back to School

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We had Back to School night tonight for two of our kids. I actually really enjoyed this event for several reasons.

I loved seeing all the parents together and running into friends in the halls.

I loved sitting in the spaces where my children spend their days without me and knowing what it looks and feels like.

I liked hearing the voices of their teachers and listening to their tones and listening to what they were trying to communicate. 

I liked comparing the different styles that each teacher presented and wondering if I would enjoy their class every day or not.

I liked walking the path between passing periods to each of the classrooms that my kids visit every day. I could visualize where they are and what they might do.

I enjoyed gathering information and college guidance and learning about what they will be learning this year.

We have a great school and a great, well-connected community and I am thankful for this opportunity.

How do you like your school(s)?

Love this Life – Living it Up – Doing What I Love

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What do you love?

I love to be busy, yet not this busy. I had a productive and satisfying day and I am exhausted. You’ll see why and I’ll probably exhaust you just by reading this crazy list.  Maybe just skim it – it’s kinda long!  Below are some of my different made up titles. I don’t use them every day, just today happened to be on fire.

Alarm Clock Sounder – Roused the kids up bright and early. They have their own alarm clocks, but for some reason they don’t always react to them. And the train has been waking me up every morning at 5:17 am!! What’s up with that?

Breakfast and Lunch Maker – We don’t have time together in the evenings as frequently due to our crazy schedules, so this Fall I’ve started making hot breakfasts for us. It’s my moment to bring us all together and I don’t mind the extra work or dishes because it’s so worth it. Today we had hash browns, scrambled eggs, apple slices and bacon.  I have a weekly rotational schedule and the kids were already reminding me that they’re excited for pancakes tomorrow morning.

Taxi Driver – 2 kids dropped off at high school, 1 husband dropped off at the train, and 1 child dropped off at the middle school, all before 8 am.

House Cleaner – Stopped back at the house to load the dish washer, scrub the pans and to start a load of laundry before heading out to exercise. It feels good to me when the house is in order.

Yogini – Picked up ML on my way to yoga and enjoyed a blissful hour of stretching and toning in a not-so-great-room-with-an-awesome-instructor!

Worker Bee – I got a new part time job!! I had my first “official” business meeting at a coffee shop today and it dawned on me, that I haven’t had a “real” or let’s say “paid” job in over 15 years!! Change is good.

Friend – We celebrated my friend’s birthday over lunch today. It’s great to have a flexible schedule and to have an excuse to stop what you’re doing to spend time with friends over good food.  I also loved seeing my friends throughout the day and sharing moments in person, via text, and on the phone.

Shopper – On the way home from lunch, I stopped by the store to buy perishables for dinner tonight. Google Express is doing all the rest of my shopping and giving me so much time back!! I was in and out in 20 minutes, only having to buy the perishables and everything else was delivered to my door step. Have I mentioned how much I am loving GE? You have to try it if it’s in your area.

  
Chef – While I came home to squeeze in a bit more work, I also started dinner. We had stuffed baked potatoes tonight with proteins, veggies, and other savory toppings.

Life Coach – I spent a lot of time today coaching my kids on some important life lessons that weren’t easy to teach and take some time to practice. Being a parent takes lots of patience and open communication and repetition and more patience and practice and more practice. We’re always learning and failing and trying again, perfectly, imperfectly.

Taxi Driver – Round 3 – Did a 3rd loop around the city chauffering my loved ones back and forth to our nest.

  
House Cleaner – Round 2 – Came back home to clean up the cooking dishes and to sort and fold laundry before heading out again. It’s amazing what one can get done in 30 minutes.

Volunteer – After having very little sleep last night, and by the time 6;00 pm came around, I was exhausted. It took everything in me to rally and go to my event tonight.  Once I got to the parking lot and ran into a friend, I remembered why I love to volunteer. I love my community and sense of belonging that volunteer opportunities bring to my life. I loved seeing my friends and having that time dedicated to working together for a common purpose.

House Cleaner – Round 3 – The evening house patrol involved the usual chores and involved all of us and gave us a few minutes to chat and connect. Even the evenings are busy for us.

BeLoveR – I loved kissing my little one good night, brushing my daughter’s hair and complimenting my oldest on his successes today. I loved taking this fun picture of my husband with our new fur baby that won’t leave his side while he works at night.

  
Today was good. I am done. How was your day?  I hope you lived it up, laughed out loud and loved yourself and your one, beautiful and maybe messy life.  N-Ahhhhhhhhh-ma-ste!

Perks

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I have a great, life partner who I am so thankful for. Today he worked from home as his new office is being transformed. I was working on my computer too, and I loved that he was nearby. When we first met, we used to work together for several years. I loved the time we spent sharing stories, coffee breaks, lunch hours, happy hours with colleagues, commuting together and working out together. These shared times were many of the perks of my working years.

So today, when we worked from home together, and he asked me if I wanted a coffee in the middle of the afternoon, he made me smile and made me think back to the days when we first dated. The coffee was great. The memories, even better.

Thanks for the coffee, babe! You made my day. I love you.

What are some of the perks of your daily life?

Are You Happy To Be Alive?

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Make some noise!

I’m watching the raunchy VMAs and this introduction caught my attention, as the star got the audience responding with cheers and claps and building energy in the room.

Are you happy to be alive? Are you bringing energy to your room, your house, your office space, your sanctuary, and to your people?

Are you loving out loud and living with intention and making this life, this moment, your personal best?

I am. Every day I am practicing and making some noise! Can you hear me? Are you making noise too?

Today Charlie made my day. He asked me if he could have a Coke. He’s only allowed to have a soft drink on the weekend, so I said yes. We keep the sodas in the garage fridge. He came in the house and said to me, “Mom, I need to share this with you.”  I thanked him for wanting to share something with me and asked him why he wanted to share, and he showed me the back side of the can, that said ‘Dreamer’.”

He said, “This can is for you mommy, because you’re a dreamer.”

This made me smile. Can he see that I have big dreams for him and his siblings and our family? I love that he knows this about me and that he too is a big time dreamer and planner. I love that he wanted to share with me too.

I am happy he’s alive. And I am making some noise!!  WOOT!!

Live with intention and purpose and dance and shout, BeLoveRs.  Make some NOISE. We are A-L-I-V-E!!

Recycling Happiness

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I have been feeling like maybe I’m out of fresh ideas. I’ve shared a lot of thoughts over the past 3 1/2 years and sometimes when I sit down to write at night, I feel like my thoughts are less than interesting and that I’m talking about the same things over and over again.

And then I looked at my stack of magazines that are piling up and realized they have been saying the same things over and over again for years and I keep reading and buying them!   

What the magazines have to offer are pretty ideas and recipes and style ideas and stories that we might connect with at the moment we pick them up, for a moment and maybe for longer.  
I guess by writing every night, and sharing a sliver of my happily ever after story, I’m hoping to share an idea of inspiration, a refreshed and repackaged idea, a recipe, and hope for positive living for you and me despite our perfectly imperfect lives. 

My writing every night is a practice of gratitude, where I stop to reflect on my day and to find something good and newsworthy-ish to share. Just the process of thinking about my day feels good. And my wish is that we all practice gratitude every day and change the conversation in our heads and live happily ever after.

nAMaste

Raise the Bar, Ladies

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I like to change the conversation of our daily life chatter and today, this conversation on Facebook from one of my BFFs and sisters, made me shout, “YESSS!!”

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“Hey K, mama’s gonna teach you how to buy your own shoes. No fairy godmother. No man. YOU will be equipped to buy YOUR OWN. And if you happen to fall in love with a nice gentleman, I hope you find one who supports your walk in your own shoes.”

My sister is teaching her kindergartener the order of priorities. And if you ask this little one when she is going to get married, she’ll reply, “After I go to college!”  This is brilliant and I admire her for starting and sharing this conversation!  Good job, Mama.

Do you think about what conversation you’re having with your daughter(s) or the young girls you lead?  Are you raising the bar and setting high expectations of them? I think we have a lot to say and can make a difference, especially when we teach them while they are young and offer counter opinions to pop culture that stands in their and our way of knowing what’s true, what’s real, and what’s important. We get to pave the way and shape their journey and guide them.  What do you think is important for young girls to know?

#shatteringglassceilings

#makeyourownmoney

#womensequalityday

#letsraisethebarladies

Falling Asleep While Sitting UP Straight!

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This is one of my many talents! Luckily no one is taking pictures of me while my head tilts back and my jaw falls open and noise falls into the room.

I am tired. By the end of the day, I’m exhausted and can fall asleep in the middle of a sentence, and God forbid, if I’m trying to read something.  Sometimes I fall asleep while writing my blog and wonder if I’ve included all the content I had planned to write before falling under a spell and if I’ve inserted any run on sentences that also fall asleep. So far, I think it’s all good. I could be wrong, but I haven’t heard yet. I don’t go back and edit most of the time. I prefer my writing to be free flowing without a lot of time spent editing and rethinking and making it look pretty. It is what it is and I’m okay with errors here and there and am always thankful when my posts make sense!

Tonight, I am exhausted. I have to start getting to bed earlier as I keep waking up at 5 am and don’t close my eyes until after midnight!!  Now wonder my eyes keep closing and my mouth keeps yawning!

I wish you rest and peace, BeLoveRs!

(just now I was falling asleep as I was writing and started combining email thread discussion topics with my blog post… so weird!!)  Do you ever do this?

Evening House Patrol

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 We have a new cat patrol officer in our house!

We’ve actually started a new routine this past week that I’m REALLY liking that I’m calling House Patrol.  At 9:00 every night, when we’re usually all home, I have an event on my calendar with an alarm that pops up on my phone that tells me it’s House Patrol time.  It pops up at 8:50 pm, which is a good 10 minute warning to share with everyone that in ten minutes we’re all gonna stop what we’re doing and gather for 10 minutes and pick up all the clutter that has fallen throughout the day.   My husband takes the lead and guides the kids as to what has to be done, as they usually don’t see clutter the way we see it. I love that it’s his voice getting everyone on board and sharing commands instead of mine.

We usually have a couple pairs of shoes, several pens and pencils and papers lying on the table, dishes not in the sink or dishwasher and laundry on the floor. We all pitch in and pick up and get the house ready for the next day. The kids also do the cat chores and finish any chores they haven’t had time for like taking out the trash or putting away their laundry. We grind the coffee and set the automatic timer on the clock to have the coffee ready for the next morning. This has to be my favorite part of the House Patrol process, besides Jeff’s voice leading the kids.  I also love the result. Everything feels orderly and I’m not the only one seeing the clutter and doing all the 5 minute chores by myself, not that I’m the only one who picks up of course, but it sometimes feels like it.  Everyone is good at helping and everyone is really busy and having this little call to action helps us all share the clutter workload.

This 10 minute sweep is also a good way for us to transition and start getting ready for our individual night routines. This makes me happy.

So for this new house patrol process, I am thankful and hope it lasts!!  For now, I’ll enjoy the clean moments and the magic of tidying up.

What little things do you do to keep up with clutter?