Being Alone

I almost didn’t go hiking today because my friends weren’t available and I wasn’t sure I wanted to go by myself. I started talking myself out of hiking as soon as I learned they were unavailable.  I told myself stories like it would be better if I got more work done instead and that I could catch up. I could just exercise in the garage. I could skip exercising all together.  I could make other plans. I could yada yada yada.  I was just looking for a way out, an excuse, to not go alone and time was wasting away.  What should I do?

I decided to go, while I was talking on the phone with my sister and told her about my predicament. She was my little cheerleader, who got me over my irrational fear that I couldn’t/shouldn’t go alone.  She gave me that little kick I needed and I got myself in the car while she was still on the phone with me.  I was so happy that I did.

 I enjoyed the cool breeze flowing through the shady areas and the moments in the hot sun. I loved the beautiful light shining through the gaps, hearing the sound of the water, and seeing all the little animals and kids out exploring nature too.
 I actually loved the experience of being alone and seeing and hearing things from a different perspective. I was aware of all the people on the trail who were together. I was aware of all the sounds the animals make. I was aware of how fast I was moving and loved it. After I got to the top, I decided to run down the hill,  which is something I never do. It made an old experience new again and it felt invigorating.

 I love this tree and I know I’ve shared it before, but seeing this tree reminds me of my sister and the time we took pictures in front of it in tree pose together.  This tree makes me smile and think of her and today I was thankful that she pushed me out the door, by myself to enjoy nature, alone.

What do you enjoy doing alone? What are you afraid of doing alone? Hmm…I’m curious.

nAMaste and sending healing vibes to my friends who couldn’t be with me today.

xo

10 Minute Camping Trip

Tonight’s story is shared through playful text messages between my sister and I while I snuck away to play and lay in the sun, avoiding my responsibilities, and she got ready for the night shift.  This was a great way to relax and I adore you Tricia. Thank you for getting me and being you.

  
  
    

 
This was the happiest part of my day, laying in the “grass” for not even ten minutes to catch my breath, and to share the “quiet” moment with my people.  

The life! My perfectly imperfectly happily ever. Now I just have to remember that.

What was the happiest 10 minutes of your day?

The End!

The Best Kind of Day

  
My sister and my niece came to visit us this weekend and this was my (welcome) sign. It was a play on words that included them with me to create the we and the plural of Here I Am. I loved this very thought from before they even arrived. I sat on my porch last night, waiting and anticipating their arrival with excitement.  

I love being in their presence and when we are together, it doesn’t matter what we do. I feel comfortable and content and truly myself and I have no agenda except to soak in all their love and share it back with them, doing everything and nothing. Seriously. 

These are the best kind of days. We just flowed in and out, together and with the kids, and alone and I couldn’t have asked for anything better.  We were up early and shared coffee and breakfast. We took the kids where they needed to go. We rested and read and fed the kids and shopped. We watched Charlie’s soccer game and made friends. We cooked dinner together and cleaned up together. We laughed and teased each other and shared stories of our lives, the ones we don’t find the time to share over brief, interrupted phone calls and texts. 

There’s no substitute for face to face time. I got to hug her and really see her and share in the joys of our kids playing together and loving one another and growing up together.
I am thankful that she chose to come visit (me) us and took the time  to make love grow. 

Here We Are. 

Raise the Bar, Ladies

I like to change the conversation of our daily life chatter and today, this conversation on Facebook from one of my BFFs and sisters, made me shout, “YESSS!!”

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“Hey K, mama’s gonna teach you how to buy your own shoes. No fairy godmother. No man. YOU will be equipped to buy YOUR OWN. And if you happen to fall in love with a nice gentleman, I hope you find one who supports your walk in your own shoes.”

My sister is teaching her kindergartener the order of priorities. And if you ask this little one when she is going to get married, she’ll reply, “After I go to college!”  This is brilliant and I admire her for starting and sharing this conversation!  Good job, Mama.

Do you think about what conversation you’re having with your daughter(s) or the young girls you lead?  Are you raising the bar and setting high expectations of them? I think we have a lot to say and can make a difference, especially when we teach them while they are young and offer counter opinions to pop culture that stands in their and our way of knowing what’s true, what’s real, and what’s important. We get to pave the way and shape their journey and guide them.  What do you think is important for young girls to know?

#shatteringglassceilings

#makeyourownmoney

#womensequalityday

#letsraisethebarladies

Our Newest Nurse

Today we celebrated my sister’s graduation from nursing school.

I am so proud of her for redefining her life and BEcoming a Registered Nurse.

She had to overcome many hurdles, dedicate countless hours of studying and sacrificing sleep to achieve her goal over the past two years.

Just getting into nursing school during our current economy was a challenge and I am so proud of her dedication and her work ethic.

She never gave up and was determined to pass with grace, high class standing and with an A average.

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She was the founding president of her college’s nursing honor society and was chosen to give a speech at her ceremony today.

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Congratulations Nurse Tricia! I am so proud of you!!

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Beach Day – Capitola

Some of us made it to the beach today, which made my day.  The drive over Highway 17 from the valley to the ocean is magnificent.  I love driving through the trees and mountains and over to the other side, especially when the weather is warm and the sun is shining brightly, like today. Sometimes going to the beach in the winter time is the best time for a visit, like today.

Life is good. 

 

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Day 9: Tears Sprung Today

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What a day… the chaos of the handyman putting in the new key pad lock and fixing the fence and vents, while Stacey came by to pick up her volleyball net, and Kelly came to pick up C to take him for a day out for a great day at Great America, and Julie came by for a cup of coffee and a singing re-do jam session to Adele, and the kids danced and sang and we cleaned up the house before the cleaning team arrived and I sliced by finger open while cleaning out a camping suitcase that had an unprotected razor and bled for 45 minutes, and the crying session – all of this before 11:30 am.  How was your morning?

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And I wasn’t ready to be sad just quite yet, but when I held K who is only 2 and I thought about not seeing her for a year and how much babies change in a year, the tears came as she kissed my face and then threw her head back and came up again to smother me with little kisses. And the tears kept coming… sad to miss out on seeing her every couple of months and wondering how her voice and hair and body and personality will change in such a short bit.  I was only joking when I said I’ll see you again when you’re 13!! We’ll be back WAY before then!!

And then it was time to laugh and hug my sisters and dog pile on the bed for a group hug with my nieces and kids. And we didn’t want to say goodbye, and we just hung out in the boys room for like forever just sitting and looking at each other and laughing and wiping tears while C asked us why we had to move? Trying to comfort the little ones and knowing it’s ok to move but still feeling it was a bit challenging.  We finally moved to the front yard and said our goodbyes and took pictures and hugged and kissed and cried. I’m going to miss them so much – we’re so used to seeing each other every other month or two — a year is a pretty long time to be away in family terms… I hope they come visit us in Amstelveen.

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After they left, I didn’t have much time to be sad, because Julie was still here and I sliced my finger open while trying to get one more chore done!! I thought I was going to have to go to the ER, but I don’t have time for that. Luckily, the stupid finger stopped bleeding and I just had to give up a shower and going out to the Habit for lunch with Julie and our kids. She ended up going to pick up food for us and brought it back here and we sat out back to eat, while we waited for the housecleaners to show up. Their car broke down earlier and they wanted to reschedule… but after decluttering and cleaning for the cleaning people, I didn’t want to redo all that work again another day. All worked out well and the clutter and chaos are gone.

The good thing that came from being patient, is that Julie ended up taking C with her boys to a fun drop in day camp and J and I were able to get in some girl time shopping together – just the two of us, which I had promised to do this weekend. We had so much fun just being together and picking out some new clothes for her and a suitcase for me.

The day turned out well and I’m so emotionally tired and exhausted, that I’m writing my blog early tonight in hopes of getting to bed early before the news comes on!   Good night, friends.  I  miss you Kimmy and Trish and kiddos and hope you had a good drive home. xoxoxoxo

Day 74 – I Want You to Know What Love Is

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(picture taken at Savvy Cellar in Mountain View tonight – great little place to hang out with friends and the weather was gorgeous!)

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. Good women are the epitome of love. They give love not only to their own children but to all children (and pets in some cases, and their own parents and friends and partners) and they are nurturing and giving and loving and make this world a better place. They support one another and take care of each other and they create community and build relationships. This is peace. This is love.

The new Time Magazine with the young woman breastfeeding her 4 year old child on the cover has a lot of people talking and stirring. The main problem I have with the cover is the question they pose which pits women against one another. “Are you Mom Enough?” – All women are enough because they have a choice – and the choice should be theirs and no one else’s. Whether we choose to work or stay at home, to have kids or not, to breastfeed or not or for how long, to dress up or dress down, to wear makeup or to go natural, to be skinny or not. Just be who YOU want to be. We shouldn’t judge one another by our choices and we should let each other just be happy. We don’t have to approve of each other’s choices but we also don’t have to make others feel insecure or judged by us. Let them be. And be ok being you. That’s love and that’s peace. To me.

So here’s to all the women in my life – that inspire me and love me and challenge me and support me. I love you – thank you for making this world a better place. Happy Mother’s Day to my Sisters, my Wife, my Friends, my Aunts and Cousins, Grandmothers, my Role Models, and my Neighbors and especially to my Beautiful Mama.  Enjoy your day tomorrow and celebrate YOU!  

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My mom and sister are in town to celebrate Mother’s Day together with me tomorrow. So happy they are here, just wish Kimmy was here too!  Happy Mother’s Day!! xo