Day 259: 7 Ways We Quickly Settled as Expats.

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Now that we’ve been in Holland for 259 days, I’m realizing that there are several factors that helped us to feel settled living abroad rather quickly. Here are a few things that come to my mind.

1. We hired an excellent, personal, relocation manager. Lion helped us to pick our rental property that would suite our family best based on our needs. He did the walk through with the owner and got the keys before we arrived. He referred us to rental furniture companies and met them at our house to let them in and set up our furniture before we arrived. He was here to meet us at our front door the first day we arrived with our 15 suitcases. The day we arrived was so hot, that he arrived early and opened all the windows to air out the place. Once we got settled, he drove us to the grocery store so that we could have a few things our first day. He has supported us every step of the way, and has been very humble, kind and generous and a true help to us.

2. Our Dutch Relatives. My mother was born in the South of Holland and her cousins still live here. Jeff and I have good relations with them and have visited each other both in Holland and in the States several times. When we arrived, Gerard and Anita and Dorine and Nadja helped us to shop for hours and buy furniture and assemble it. We have been to each others homes for dinners and birthday parties and they made us feel welcome and a part of their families. We also were invited to Rio and Helma’s dairy farm and to spend time with them too. Franca and Henk came to see us, along with all their kids and everyone enjoyed chatting and playing and getting to know one another. When you’re far away from your own home, family and friends, having a new family to welcome you is the best feeling. We didn’t feel alone and it was comforting knowing that they knew the language, culture, norms and could help us navigate the process of getting transportation cards, and such, and could help us if an emergency occurred.

3. New Friends. One thing I love most to do is to connect people to friends and knowledge and to help one another. It’s what I used to do in a past life, and a skill that I think has helped me to find my way. I was able to meet and connect with friends through PEO, a philanthropic organization to which I belong. that supports, celebrates and motivates women to achieve their highest goals. A Dutch friend of mine who worked with me at Stella & Dot, introduced me to one of her friends who lives in my new home town. Before I moved, I had a Dutch coffee at my house and invited my Dutch friends over. One of them had a Dutch friend that worked in the US Consulate. Another one had a sister in law that lives in my new home town, who brought us a house plant once we got settled.

Our children’s school made it very easy for us to build a community of expat friends very quickly. Once the children started making friends, I was able to meet the moms and dads of their friends, and friendships were formed. We started sharing experiences and new relationships have grown. I love my new tribe and am so thankful for each and everyone of my new friends.

4. I filled my time doing things I love and got out of the house. I met people who played tennis and found a group of women to play with indoors and they connected me to the right people to take lessons and play in tournaments. I found yoga and yoga friends. I sought out a place to paddle board and met the owner of a Dutch company to paddle the canals with across Amsterdam. Now if the weather just warms up! I took up running with my husband, something I’ve always wanted to do, and now found the time and place. I went to all the social events I could the first few weeks at school to get out and see the town. The school is so good at making newcomers feel welcome, with coffees, and outings and having an open door where parents can sit and socialize while waiting for their kids. And as I started making friends, we’d have girls’ lunches, and girls’ nights out, dinner parties and happy hours, celebrated a baby being born, and birthdays and all that is good. Bottom line is I’ve stayed busy and productive and happy and love the friendships that have blossomed through all these shared events. I am so lucky and never am bored.

5. I have a very supportive partner. I probably don’t say enough about my husband, who works hard day and night, working to build his global business and support our family. He worked so hard behind the scenes to get us here, without a support staff to do all the work for him, as he works at a start up company, and they don’t have these type of resources. He researched everything, set up our legal documents, bank accounts, car transfer, cell phones, drivers’ licenses, cable and internet services, etc. all while setting up a European company. He is smart and loving and supports me and laughs with me and makes me coffee every morning! I am blessed.

6. Social Media & Technology. Having Facebook, Skype, Email, Google Voice, What’s App, Instagram, Magic Jack, my blog, Apple TV and a VPN have helped me to feel still connected to friends and family and America. I’m able to share and see and connect with those I love every day. When I feel lonely, I can always check in – just sometimes have to wait for the time zones to be in alignment where we’re both awake at the same hour.

7. A thirst for adventure. We wanted to do something fun as a family and to learn about the world. Having something to look forward to every month is very exciting. Whenever we feel down or homesick, someone is coming to visit, a trip is planned or a package arrives. We aren’t bored or stagnant and there is a lot of excitement and adventure awaiting us, if we so choose, and most weekends, we’re choosing to see and explore and enjoy this journey as much as we can.

If you’re an expat, what has helped you to settle in to your new home? What makes you happy? Thanks for reading and sharing this journey with me. 😉

9Apr2013

Day 258: Spring Sprung a Leak

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Walking through the forest today and it started to rain.

water drops on our new outdoor spring stool

rain art on our new bench

admiring yesterday’s closed bulbs blooming open today. so pretty. gotta love nature.

ain’t this the truth?

8Apr2013

Day 257: Starting to Feel Like Spring

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Waiting to spring…

In Holland, the kids had their spring break last week and in California, their break starts now. I love having a break in our routine and welcome change and then I like to go back to the structure and appreciate when school starts up again and we get back to “normal” (whatever that is!).

After dropping the kids off at school, I came back home and went to yoga again. It’s nice to see familiar faces, learn a little Dutch, and stretch and feel grounded again. One lady in class was probably in her 70s and I was so inspired watching her do down dog.

After yoga, I went to the dreaded IKEA for a 2 hour tour! I was in search of patio furniture and couldn’t decide. We had vouchers from spending money there earlier this year and they were redeemable now. I hate leaving money on the table and didn’t want them to expire. I finally walked out with some chairs and benches, cushions and covers, decorations and a little storage locker to keep the cushions dry. Now our back patio is almost ready for spring and summer! I can’t wait. We got a little teaser today with the sun shining until 8:00 pm, but it still is very cold. I tried wearing flip flops outside but it’s not yet that kinda weather!

Lunch outside with the new chairs and cushions…notice it’s soup and not a salad! It’s still so cold, even though the sun is shining.

My little handy man! He loves to assemble furniture and to be helpful.

I love how she came home from school and set up homework camp outside on the new set up.

For my friends back home, enjoy the break, and for my friends here, I can’t wait to catch up and hear about all your adventures. Have a good week! – A.

7Apr2013

Day 256: Family Sunday

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This morning I woke up and enjoyed a cappuccino, sitting in my rocking chair, and watching the day unfold. We didn’t have a set plan, besides going for a run together and possibly a bike ride and a family dinner at home. I like Sundays like this. My typical wake up routine is to drink my coffee, check email, check Facebook and Instagram, play words with friends and plan my day while playing.

I read and follow several bloggers and today I met Fionna Lynne and fell in love with her writing.

Check her out: Fionna Lynne’s blog

She had an entry titled 31 Days to Embrace Expat Life that perfectly sums up so many of my own thoughts and learnings. Her Day 10: being family to friends, really touched me. In the short time we have been here, we have made so many good friends. These friends are like our family away from home and I want to be with them and help them and enjoy life with them. As I was reading, I decided right then that we had to invite friends for a Sunday dinner. I would like to do that every Sunday that we are home! Who’s up for dinner?? Danielle and I were texting each other about another event and I asked if they could come join us tonight. Luckily, they said yes, and brought their fun friend Jill along.

I love when we entertain because it makes me declutter and clean up our house as a family. And we are so casual, so there’s no need to stress ( although I always do!) even though it always works out. We made appetizers, pan roasted chicken and potatoes, broccoli, salad with toasted pine nuts and ranch dressing, and bread. Juliana made April’s rum cake and voila – we had a Sunday family dinner.

Afterwards, we skyped with my family back in California. I was so happy they picked up the call and that I got to see them all. It made me cry, missing them! The little ones are getting so big and are so funny. My mom and dad are so loving and cute. I need to hug them again! Soon enough… Thank goodness for Skype!

I also got to google chat with April for a few minutes. The time change is sometimes challenging to connect with each other. But tonight all was good, and I got my family and friend fix, near and far.

Thankful.

Namaste.

6Apr2013

Day 255: Zaans Schaans and Alkmaar

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I like coming home from vacation with still an extra day or two of vacation time left before we have to get back into our routine again. I love having a routine and then shaking it up and recreating it again. We came back from Dubai on Thursday and still have another day to play before Monday returns.

Today we enjoyed a lazy morning. Juliana and I got out our Smash books and started organizing all of our postcards and receipts and entrance tickets and bus tickets etc to smash into our scrapbooks. The boys soon joined us and we spent several hours gluing and writing and remembering where we’ve been so far. It’ll be interesting to compare our books to see what made an impression on each of us and how we chose to represent and document our journey. I opened up my blog pages to recall the details and order of events. Looking at all the posts made me really happy that I’ve taken the time to write a written log each night, otherwise there is no way I’d remember it all. We sure have been busy!

After sitting for a long while and doing several loads of laundry, we ventured out to see something new. We went to Zaans Schaans, an old, Dutch, 18th century working village. The highlights were the working windmills we got to go inside and the wooden clog factory.

We wandered through the museum and learned about the 100+ year old bisquit baking and chocolate factory, Verkade. This company was very successful and one of the first companies to successfully create and market their brand name. They had art contests and created collector cards and albums that people could collect and create. They also used tins with the company name on them, that people would collect and reuse.

Outside, we walked through the cheese factory,

pigment windmill,

spice windmill, and baking museum.

We also watched wooden shoes being made and played outside with old fashioned toys like stilts.

The museum closed at 5 pm, so we decided to venture into a nearby town called Alkmaar.

I love the quaint feel of the small Dutch villages with locals out and about, enjoying each other. The shops were all closed by the time we arrived, and the weather started to become very cold as the sun went down and the wind came up. The cold is now officially old! It was hard for us to even want to go out today, but I didn’t think it would be fun staying inside with stir crazy kids either! We were going to go for a bike ride but were afraid we’d freeze.

We walked through the streets and past old churches. There must have been a farmers market today as vendors were cleaning up and taking down their stalls by the time we arrived.

We found an Indonesian place called Cafe Bali for dinner. The food was delicious and the service great too. My favorite dish was the sayur lodeh. It tasted like the one my Opa used to make when I was a little girl. I am part Indonesian, part Dutch and part Italian. Did you know that? 🙂

At dinner, Charlie was so cute. He said, lets play the I love You game. You have to swirl your finger around and point to someone and then say what you love about that person. It was very heartwarming to hear all the nice things we had to say about one another. I felt proud that everyone actually likes each other. I knew that and see that every day, but it was nice to hear. And to keep it real and funny, afterwards he said, “lets play the what I don’t like about you game!” That little rascal! He is so funny, and we all cracked up. Luckily nothing was said. Phew! Keep focusing on the positive and hopefully that’s what we’ll keep creating, right?

I hope you’re having a good weekend!
Love, Adriana

5Apr2013

Day 254: Super Nanny Needed

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Let’s just say there has been a lot of togetherness and today I was close to running out of patience. I love having kids but their little idiosyncrasies and constant noise making skills start to drive me crazy.

We still have a couple days left of spring break!

I took all three of them with me to the grocery store this afternoon and warned them before we left, that they needed to cooperate and be quiet and to work together as a team. The peace lasted maybe 30 seconds before they needed another reminder. The littlest one just had no idea what I was talking about or maybe I was speaking a different language. He just didn’t get it.

At the store, I asked him to share the hand held scanner with his sister. They both liked scanning the items and putting them in the cart. The oldest one was helping to make dinner with me tonight and was interested in picking out the ingredients and occupied himself. The littlest ones were in constant competition.

Everything I asked was ignored. I gave him another warning, asking him to stand behind me and to follow along quietly, but he couldn’t control his little body. If I said stand behind me, he went ahead. When I asked him to be quiet, he had a question. When I warned him there would be consequences, it didn’t seem to matter and he just asked for a hug. Good tactics, huh?

He wanted what he wanted and I wanted what I wanted and we were at war. Not really, but do you get it? Did I tell you I was short on patience before we left?

So when we came home, I told him he had to stay in his room for the rest of the night, for disrupting the family and for being disobedient. He still didn’t understand and wanted to be with the family. I don’t think he got the connection between his actions and the consequences that were bestowed upon him. I had him write sentences while he was in his room to explain why he was acting like he was and what he should do differently next time. You see, it wasn’t just at the store that he was being irritating. He was irritating all day to all of us.

So after we made dinner and he finished writing and begged to come out, I said absolutely not. I told him we’d take a family vote and decide whether we should change the punishment. All four of us voted no and explained why. All of us were sad with the decision but it was the right thing to do.

Learning together…

How do you teach kids how to behave properly without hitting them or giving in? This parenting thing sure is challenging. I hope tomorrow we can start over again and all enjoy each others’ company again. We’re still learning.

Namaste.

4Apr2013

Day 253: Goodbye, Dubai

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Believe it or not, I’m tired! All of us are pretty exhausted. Jeff’s actually already asleep on the couch! We are not ones to come home relaxed and refreshed after a vacation because we try to fit in and see as much as we can wherever we go. My motto is “we’ll sleep when we’re dead.”

Last night the kids were in bed after midnight and Jeff and I around 1:30 am. I always like to sit and chill in the quiet and write my blog before going to sleep. We were up at 5:15 am to catch an 8:30 am flight to Holland. I think the lack of sleep might be killing me – or at least my head! Maybe that’s why I keep getting headaches.

Asleep in the taxi on the way back home

Before I pass out, here are a few quick observations about Dubai:

Weather
* It’s so nice and warm, even at night. It was very comfortable at the beginning of April, but I hear it can get unbearably hot very soon.
* The air feels humid and warm, like Hawaii. And the feel of the town feels like a mix of Miami, Vegas and the Middle East.

Shopping
* You can use a credit card anywhere you go, unlike in Holland. I miss being able to use my credit card.

* You can find anything you could possibly want. There are large malls everywhere around town.
* Stores are open until 12 or 1 am and people are out shopping.
* Stores are open on Sundays until late too! Love it.
* Customer service is available in the malls. People actually help you, and acknowledge you. In Holland, it’s hard to get help or the attention of those working. I don’t understand that.

Food
* Any type of food you like is available in Dubai. We ate Ben’s Cookies from London, Baja Fresh, Baskin Robbins, Starbucks, and drooled when we saw PF Changs.
* We ate Lebanese food for Easter outside on the patio with mostly locals on The Walk — that’s a first!
* Coke cans have the old fashioned tops with the pull tabs – so retro and cool!
* NO alcohol is sold in stores or restaurants. You have to go to a hotel to buy liquor.

Retro Coke can pull tab top

Entertainment/Culture
* Since the culture/religion doesn’t believe in alcohol, you will see people out later in the malls and restaurants, smoking hookah pipes and watching soccer games on big screen tvs, cruising The Walk in really fancy cars with plastic covered leather head rests which was so strange to me.

Hookahs at the sports “bar”

* There are very few people walking dogs, and we might have seen one or two cats – unlike in Istanbul where they are everywhere! Signs are posted by the Marina especially that you will be fined 200 DHRMS if you don’t pick up after your pet’s doodoo.
* Outside of the Walk area, we heard the Call to Prayer from the mosque towers.
* Prayer rooms are available at the airport.
* Expensive cars are driven by the locals up and down The Walk. One dad had his 3 year old boy sitting on his lap driving with him in his ferrari.
* The women dress differently. Some are covered head to toe. Some have their faces completely covered, and some show only their eyes. Most have their heads completely covered. Some of the burkas have sequins or designs on them, but most are all black for women. The men walk in white thobes with a white headcover and typically white open toed sandels. What you’ll especially notice is that for the women covered completely, most carry an expensive designer handbag that rests on their forearm and designer shoes, which is all you can see of them and differentiates one woman from another. You’ll also notice that they wear beautiful eye makeup to highlight that part of their body that you might see.
* Most don’t wear wedding rings.
* Women can drive.
* No beggars or homeless people were noticed.

Transportation
* We took taxis most everywhere and most prices ranged from 30 DHRM to 80 DHRM which is about $7.50 – $20.
* Seat belts were not required.
* The metro system is especially clean and modern, yet moves more slowly than the metro system in Holland. It is also not completely connected to all or most areas of town.
* We tried to ride the bus, but we had to have a special card to ride and they didn’t sell them at the bus stop nor on the bus.

metro map Dubai

Souqs
* We visited the Souqs late at night last night to see what they were like. We got a feel of how the working class lives and walked through the narrow connecting streets along the way. We bought a couple souvenirs, but no gold or textiles, for which they are known.

* We probably didn’t get to see as much as we would have liked because we got there late and were very tired and hungry when we arrived after 9 pm.

* The boats on the creek would have been fun to ride if we hadn’t been so hungry or tired.

gold bracelets in the souq

gold prices in Dubai

And that’s all for now, folks! We’re back in Holland again where the temperature was a mere 3 degrees Celcius. Home COLD home.

3Apr2013

Day 252: SUP Dubai

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The warm weather, water, sun, sand and SUP made me happy today. I love being on the water, especially when it’s hot out. We took a taxi out to the one place we could find where we could rent a board. The municipality laws changed in Dubai two weeks ago and they’ve outlawed rentals on public beaches. Luckily for me, Jeff found this place that I had missed in my Google search for Sup in Dubai.

Life is good!

When I’m out on the water, I just feel at peace. Usually I’m alone taking in the sites, feeling the sun, working up a sweat, listening to the sounds of the water lapping at the front of my board, and enjoying the mysteries of the ocean, and feeling the water on my toes. Don’t you want to come supping with me? It’s the best!

We also rented one of those banana boat inner tube things and all five of us went out behind a ski boat for 20 minutes. I laughed and smiled the entire time. I can’t say the ride was experienced quite the same way for someone else on the banana! The views from the water were amazing and bouncing around on top of the water just made my day.

Tomorrow we are heading home, where the weather is more than half the temperature of Dubai’s. :-(. Goodbye, bathing suit. Hello, down coat.

2Apr2013

Day 251: Burj Khalifa and Desert Safari

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The challenge with writing a blog post every day, usually late at night, is that sometimes I fall asleep while writing, or my blog posts on its own before I can edit and spell check. Sometimes I go back and read what I wrote, and my writing is so basic… Please forgive me! I have a goal to end every day with a summary and some days I’m so exhausted that its hard to produce something with more spunk!

Today we had such an adventure. We crammed into a taxi and road over across town to see the tallest building in the world, the Burj Khalifa. If you ever want to go to the top, you have to buy tickets online at least a week in advance, otherwise they sell out. It is expensive for what you get, but then again, it’s the tallest building in the world and we had to go up to the top. What amazed me was how fast the elevator ride was. It took 70 seconds to go 124 floors! The view from the top was interesting, but not exciting. Dubai is growing and there is construction going on everywhere, however the town around the Burj is not full. There are a lot of empty fields and empty buildings and the landscape is not dense.

The Dubai Mall is attached to the Burj and I believe is the biggest mall in the world. There are 1200 stores in one location! They have every shop you can imagine and more. They also have an aquarium, waterfall, ice skating rink, movie theater, Sega theme park, and KidZania – a place where kids can be dropped off for hours and get to be industrious. The high end luxury brand stores were everywhere, with children’s stores for all the high end fashion brands. How many people shop there? I was fascinated by the sheer volume of choices.

After we shopped around a bit and had some lunch, we were picked up in two land cruisers for the touristy part of our vacation – the Desert Safari. We road out to the desert and went four wheeling through the sand dunes. It was such a thrill ride, more thrilling and scarier than a roller coaster! Patti Beth and I were so sick from motion sickness that we thought we were going to lose our cookies! Luckily we stopped for a photo break at the top of the dunes before driving off into the sunset!

They drove us to a camp where we got to ride camels,

have henna art done on our hands, watch two dance shows, and eat a delicious buffet dinner. We also got to dress up in burkas and thobes and take pictures and feel what it’s like to have your face covered. I found it to be stifling on my face, although I think the full body cover would simplify choosing what to wear each day. And would be quite comfortable. The boys also loved hiking up the sand dune and running and jumping all the way down. I think they had a fabulous adventure. It reminded us of a Hawaiian Luau but desert style!

The driver took us back to the mall from where he picked us up. The malls stay open until midnight and they are packed late into the evening. Since there isn’t alcohol served, I think the mall provides entertainment for locals and tourists alike. We stayed and watched the musical Dubai Fountain show and walked around the mall a bit more before heading back to our condo.

We had quite an amazing experience together today that I think we’ll talk about and remember for quite some time.

1Apr2013

Day 250: Living It Up at The Atlantis, Dubai

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Who would have thought when we decided to move to Holland that we would get to discover so many other parts of the world? I Am amazed!!

Today we spent the entire day at the Atlantis Hotel with Patti Beth and her family. We started off at the Aqua Adventure water park and stayed there until it closed at sundown. We all had huge smiles floating down the lazy river, falling down huge slides, and dropping in on the sharks. Everyone was warm and happy in the water.

Afterwards, we explored the Lost Chambers, an aquarium inside the hotel that was amazing. Every display was interesting to see and watching the sharks swim with schools of fish was mesmerizing. There were a few touch tanks where we touched sea stars, horse shoe crabs, and small rays.

The hotel itself is like Disneyland. I especially loved the Chihuly glass display in the lobby. The kids and the adults were all having fun together and still wanted to hang out, so we ventured out to the Royal Pool and let the kids go night swimming until they closed it down. It was a gorgeous warm night, so we chose to sit outside and enjoy a Mexican dinner together.

We enjoyed our day in the sun – not too hot and definitely not cold.

Life is good.