Last full day in Oahu.

Laughing at myself and the crazy wind at Pali Lookout.

I took the kids to the local diner for breakfast while Jeff did some work on his computer. You know, we have this HUGE move coming up in (gasp) 37 days and I totally get it, but of course, I always want us to all be together and get frustrated when his “girlfriend” takes precedence. I’m very idealistic, but today just followed the Aloha spirit and went with the flow…

Jeff soon joined us for breakfast and our Conversation went like this:

J: Thanks for putting up with me.
Me: You’re welcome. (pause). Thank you for putting up with me.
J: You’re welcome.

And then we both laughed. You see we are both passionate people and can be challenging and want what we want. When we were first married, we used to argue and fight to be right. I’d stand up for what I believed to be right and fought to prove myself. That didn’t work too well and usually just prolonged the conflict.

I found a visual for this that could help solve a lot of problems in relationships and it came from my favorite place, the beach.

Yesterday, I was teaching J how to catch a wave. At first, she stood up to the wave and let it hit her and knock her over. She got washed up in the white water and it wasn’t very fun. I told her she had to go out a little further, outside her comfort zone and dive under the wave and let it just flow over her. And that sometimes, if she timed it just right, she could catch the top of the wave and let it carry her for a ride. Soon she was having so much fun and didn’t want to leave. She got the hang of it and was loving it, going with the flow and just enjoying the ride.

Later in the day we just enjoyed watching the sea turtles in their element, frolicking in the water. They would pop up and down, roll around and go back out again. They were so magical – just flowin’.

And that’s what I think I need to do and try to do, some days better than others- just go with the flow. And with conflict – don’t meet it head on and get knocked over, but just avoid it or go with it and wait for the next wave. You can’t stop the waves from coming but you can choose what to do with them. Sometimes they’ll be big and sometimes they’ll be small. You can engage or just watch but you can’t control them. And they eventually end and mellow out. Until the next wave. I like that. Aloha..