Saying Goodbyes

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Day 320: Processing the Goodbyes and Transitioning
I’ve never linked to a blog and reblogged it on by own blog, but am trying it out to see how this works and because I love what Christine had to share today. She made me think and remember to enjoy the journey, even this separation process, and to let go of the need to control every detail. I’m happiest when I surrender to the process and trust that all is well and that God has a plan for me that’s bigger than me, and if I just flow with it, all will be good. Namaste.

These Stones

In many areas of my life I despise open-ended situations. I like closure. I thrive on to-do lists written and completed. Checking off tasks and finishing up loose ends?! Heaven. There was something so magical (albeit, bittersweet) about closing my classroom door each June, walls stripped bare, desks emptied, report cards and thank you notes written and sent, units of study completed. Closure. Blessed, blissful, closure when teachers need it most.

{can’t resist posting this image from Mel Larson…SO TRUE! My heart is with you, teachers!!!}

As we sit in the middle of transition, I am assessing my relationship with closure a bit more closely, actually wondering if I might see things a little differently. In the past, we moved within a 100 mile radius of the Bay Area. We might not *see* friends and family as regularly or easily as when we taught next door or lived down…

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9Jun2013

Day 319: The Joys of Presence

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Here I Am. Am-ing. Just being, and enjoying the journey that unfolds. I love to be in the moment, but am not always comfortable not having a plan. But I am loving the process of flowing with whatever comes my way and am always so pleasantly surprised with how life twists and turns.

I have a friend here that is full of life. She is always smiling, loves her life, her kids and her husband. She is athletic and enjoys entertaining. She makes time for herself, her kids and her husband. And her eyes sparkle. I love being around her and love that she knows what it’s like to be an expat, because she was once one too. And I think because of her experience, she understands me and has reached out to me, making me feel at home here, inviting me to join her for coffee, lunch, dinner, paddling, swimming, ice skating, and today a Sunday morning tennis match. I am so thankful for our friendship and admire her and learn from her and enjoy her company. I am going to miss you, Barbara. Thank you for being my friend and kicking my ass today at tennis! Rematch?

…..

After coming home from tennis and sharing a cup of tea, Jeff and I went on a spontaneous date to the Trompen museum in Amsterdam. We took the tram into the city and walked through Oosterpark to the museum, holding hands. The architecture itself was gorgeous, and the artifacts from the Dutch colonies were very interesting. Afterwards, we stopped in a Biergarten for some biterballen and cold beer from the tap. We are enjoying having kids who are of the age that they can stay home alone. We were only gone for 3 hours and it was perfect! Here are some photos from the museum and around town.

Oosterpark

The Royal Tropical institute is very fascinating, highlighting the tropical areas of the world, focusing on the former colonies of the Netherlands such as Indonesia, Surinam, India, and others. I especially enjoyed seeing the different religious and philosophical influences and seeing the different artifacts. I think I would enjoy studying how they interrelate and making connections between the different beliefs. One love, one world. Namaste.

How did your Sunday flow?

Leidseplein – waiting for the 5 tram to head home.

8Jun2013

Day 318: Amsterdam in the Sun

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I was supposed to go paddling today, but the wind was strongly blowing and the temperature dropped today to where it wouldn’t be comfortable if you fell in the water. But the sun was shining and it was a gorgeous day to be in the city instead. The boys were invited to go for a boat ride and took the tram by themselves into the centrum to meet up with friends. We then spontaneously decided to wander around Amsterdam with Juliana, walking the streets and exploring the city which is always fun, especially when escorted by sunshine. Here are pictures from a perfect, random day in Amsterdam. Life is good, friends.

. Great day to be on the water! Thanks Kurt and Ally.

My favorite flowers in the Lindengraacht Markt.

Bubble fun makes me smile.

Mail delivery, Dutch style.

Kid taxi. Jeff wants one of these for beer and bbq transport.

Gorgeous day in the city!

Best buddies! Waiting for the 5 tram.

So these pictures are my receipt for putting one foot in front of the other and not having a plan, and letting life unfold how it’s meant to be. I started the day off anxiously and am ending with joy. I wish you the same. Go outside and play.

7Jun2013

Day 317: Closing Chapters

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One great thing about having company come over is getting your house decluttered and cleaned. I love that feeling. It’s kind of like cleaning before the house cleaner comes over, you know what I mean? (But I’m the declutterer and the cleaner. ) My house look(ed) nice for a few hours at least, and I enjoyed that feeling.

After the house was clean, I rode my bike to the Friday market to pick up fresh bread and appetizers and vegetables. It’s finally become natural to hop on my bike to go to the store, and fill my saddle bags and basket instead of my trunk. I rode to the mall, did my shopping, and rode back in 30 minutes. Along the way I saw my little goose family. The babies are getting so big!

Did you notice the heron in the background? I am going to miss this natural beauty right out my front door when we move.

Dorine and Nadja came over tonight for a final goodbye. It’s strange that we haven’t seen them in 6 months. I think it’s because they live an hour away and are as busy traveling and entertaining as we are. I like that they live life to the fullest and was thankful that they took the time to come over for happy hour and dinner.

The weather was great again and we had dinner outside on the patio. We used the table raclette, grilling meats and veggies, melting cheeses and enjoying the wine they brought back from their trip to Italy. Juliana made April’s rum cake for dessert and we all enjoyed her baking skills.

We were able to give them a few things that we won’t be able to take back with us, like alcohol and our raclette and immersion blender. I share this because its another layer of letting go.
We are thankful for our family in Holland and will hopefully see them again in California when they come to visit us.

Have a great weekend!

7Jun2013

Day 316: Purchased Tickets and More Goodbyes

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Today I bought tickets for the kids and I to move back home next month. It is really happening and I have mixed feelings about it. I guess this is part of the repatriation process and today was another step closer to my comfy bed back home! I purchased the tickets and then posted the announcement on Facebook. I then privately messaged my closest friends and family back home, sharing with them our good news. And then I went through another anxiety loop and felt sad, and private messaged my closest friends here in Amsterdam. I am going to miss them so much and don’t look forward to the hard goodbyes. I guess the good thing is that people care about me and I care about them, and its normal and natural to feel saddened when you won’t be with each other as often as usual. It’s all good, like I always say… I am lucky.

In the spirit of living it up every day, we celebrated with Patty and Brian one last time before they leave for the summer on Saturday. We met at the Conservatorium for dinner in the Brasserie. I really liked the ambiance, high vaulted glass ceiling, great food, excellent service and wonderful company. We had an enjoyable evening together and I’m not going to even think about missing them. We’ll just see each other again soon in California or Las Vegas, Amsterdam or Minneapolis.

Namaste.

5Jun2013

Day 315: So Happy When the Sun Shines

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I am a California Girl – it’s the place I’m happiest, but I have to tell you, today made me pretty happy to be in Holland. Amsterdam is such a great city. It reminds me a bit of San Francisco, with all the charming neighborhoods with quaint restaurants, locals and tourists mixing, interesting architecture, and just a cool vibe.

My day started with sunshine, and a bike ride into the city. I met up with Jen for my second pedicure since we moved here 315 days ago. It was very relaxing and we had fun chatting about what it was like moving here and how many suitcases we brought with us on the plane. I think she beat me!! Just a tip – be sure to know how many suitcases you’re allowed, what the weight limit is and if they weigh your personal items. Otherwise, you might end up paying fees equal to the price of another international fare, right Jen?

After our pedicures, I figured out how to cycle into the centrum to meet Jeff for lunch. We found a delicious Spanish restaurant with a table outside in the Jordan area. I loved it because the food was different and new to us, the service was quick, and the streets weren’t crowded. We tried Spanish tortillas made with potatoes and topped with goat cheese and mushrooms. So yummy and filling.

My orange bike parked in the shade by Jeff’s office on the Keizersgracht

A view of the Westerkerk near the Ann Frank house

Cool architecture in the Jordan

Lunch with my honey

Beautiful canal – Keizersgracht from Leidseplein

Don’t you want to be one of those people sitting on the terrace by the canal? I love the bikes and boat and the guy sitting on the wall. Our friends live right here!! How lucky are they?

Ending the day out on my patio watching Charlie play outside and seeing Juliana bake. Life is good.

Ending the day out on my patio watching Charlie play outside and Juliana enjoying herself baking double chocolate chip cookies. Life is good. Cheers!

4Jun2013

Day 314: Biking Around Amsterdam Without a Map

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I had a list of plans for today, but the sun was shining so I had to go outside all day. Patti Beth and I went for a long bike ride without a direction or plan, but to be outside just biking. We left around 9:30 am and came back in time for my physio appointment at 1 pm.

A view of the Amstel River in Amsterdam on a gorgeous day.

Holland is so beautiful and the bike paths make it very easy to cycle around and through all the towns. We started from my house and rode into Ouderkerk and followed the Amstel River into Amsterdam.

Seeing the water always makes me happy and add the sunshine, warm weather and a great friend… life doesn’t get much better than this.

Once we got to Amsterdam, neither of us really knew which direction to go. We had a hunch, and luckily this time we both were right and headed in the right direction, not that we really knew where we were headed, but just towards the center. It’s kind of fun not knowing where you’re going and just enjoying the journey. I mean, we had a general idea of what to expect, but we weren’t quite sure which road or which turn to take, but we were happy just enjoying the new sites around Amsterdam and kept moving forward. Kinda like this whole expat journey, now that I think about it.

We ended up on the back side of Albert Cuypstraat and were pleasantly surprised. We walked our bikes up and down the uncrowded market streets, stopping to buy a sweater for me, and fresh artichokes for dinner. Patti Beth knew of a Surinamese restaurant and we stopped in there for a quick, tasty shared lunch before figuring out our way back home.

We both surprised ourselves how we navigated the city, because we weren’t so good the first time we tried to find a fun shop in the Jordaan… kind of like the blind leading the blind. But I guess we’re getting used to navigating Amsterdam… not that it’s that big, but maybe we’ve just become local enough to feel like we belong here. Hmm…

A perfect day.

What did you discover today? Did you do something that challenged you?

3Jun2013

Day 313: It’s Sinking In…

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It’s sinking in that we’re moving back, and its starting to feel real and surreal. For example, when I went to school to pick up the kids, a mother of one of Juliana’s friends stopped me to say she heard we were leaving and she was sad to see her go. She said that the end of the school year is so hard, because so many people are leaving for good. I’ve heard from my friends that its a horrible day… Tears streaming everywhere that last day. I mentioned this to Ellie, and she said, yes, it’s true, but its part of the healing process and letting go. Yikes!

And then Charlie came home with his homework packet, and inside there were four pieces of paper for each child to write goodbye letters to the four children leaving the school at the end of the year, Charlie included. He had to write one for himself, and all the letters will be compiled into a little going away book. This made me happy and sad. He took a long time thinking of what to write and how to decorate the letter.

I’ve started a giveaway/sell list and a list of things to pack for the movers. I posted a few things for sale on Holland Homies and the bidding war has begun. Not really, but it does feel weird to be thinking of giving our stuff away. Just part of the process…

We booked tickets last night for one last trip to London to see Jeff’s brother and wife before we head back home.

It also hit me today, that even though I planned to pack up and leave in July, many of my friends are leaving for the summer starting this week. That really bummed me out. I called Patty to schedule one more dinner with her and her husband before they head out. It makes me sad to think I won’t see her at school every week and we won’t be meeting each other to practice Dutch, play tennis, hang out in the park, and share meals together. This is the hardest part of moving away.

I think there will be more layers each day and week until we go. It’s strange knowing that your going, but still having to wait to sort through all the details. Jeff described it like you’re waiting at the airport for your plane to take off, but you have to wait. We have about 30 more days to wait, and peel back the layers. Not an easy task. But I’m going to live up every day and have fun and play, just like I did before we moved to Holland. I’m not going to dwell on the sadness that I’m feeling, but I’m going to shine and love on my friends and family and soak them all in while I can. It’s all good…

Namaste.

2Jun2013

Day 312: How to Enjoy Being a Taxi Service

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One of the things the kids were begging for after our whirlwind travels was just to be home so they could hang out with their friends and just chill at home. This weekend was their weekend, but Jeff and I found some ways to make being a taxi service fun. We enjoyed seeing them happy, having friends over and going to their friends’ homes and birthday parties.

Today Juliana and Charlie had parties and of course they had different start and end times between 11 and 5 pm. Since Jeff and I wanted to hang out together, we both played taxi driver, exploring the little cities along the way. After dropping Juliana off, we went to explore the beach at Blijburg and to enjoy the sunshine, even though it was cold. We ran into rockstar Morene Dekker, taking her son out for a paddle. She graciously invited me to join her, but we had to get back to pick up Charlie to drop him off at his party. We still enjoyed the views and this quirky little beach…take a peek:

Another few things we saw and that I love about Holland are the open fields, farm animals, blue skies and cloud puffs. I love seeing people bike everywhere and seeing waterways across the land. We drove by Vinkeveen lake and I thought of Barbara and how much fun we had SUPing together one gorgeous day in spring.

We took Juliana to a place called Polder Sports, an outdoor team building place, in Uithorn area. It looked like so much fun, but she fell in the water head first on one obstacle and was freezing the rest of the party. I think she still had fun with her friends, despite the wet shoes and hair.

We took Juliana home for a quick shower, and then the three of us were in the taxi again and went shopping at Makro to pick up some food for the grill tonight before picking up Charlie. Shopping with one kid is so much easier than with three.

When we stopped again to pick up Charlie from the bowling alley at Borchland, he was happy outside playing on a swing waiting for us. He had such a great time with his friends.

Thank you to all our friends who shared a part of their weekend with our family. We are so blessed, and the taxi service wasn’t so bad today, with my best friend, taking in the sites with me. I highly recommend making pick up and drop off as fun as you can… Next time we’ll stop for an ice cream too!

Namaste

2Jun2013

Day 311: Goodbye Party

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It’s official… we are moving and tonight it felt real. Patty and Bob planned a goodbye party for us and several of our friends were there. We went on a canal boat cruise through Amsterdam and then to a restaurant for tapas and drinks and dancing. I had so much fun celebrating with everyone and was thankful that everyone came out and enjoyed being together. The hardest part of moving is having to say goodbye to our friends, the best part of Holland. I love you all and am so thankful you are part of my life, forever.

“(We) are now part of an international community of soul mates, who share the common, universal experiences of surviving – and thriving – in an overseas home.” – Robin Pascoe

I will miss you all so much and hope you all come to California to see me again. You’ll always have a place to stay. And I hope to see you again wherever you may go. Thank you for sharing this magical journey with me.
You are loved.

Namaste.