Today I’m wondering about how long is the ideal time to stay in another country as an expat. I’m sure there are several different opinions and I’m curious what people think, and I’m sure the number one answer is:

It depends.

That used to be the best consulting answer at PW and really it depends on several factors and depends on your personal context.

When I think of this question, I think in terms of what’s best for my kids. We chose to move abroad for Jeff’s career and there are benefits for our family as well. Some of the things I wished for when making this choice included, but are not limited to:

1. Giving our children the opportunity to live someplace else besides their home town.
2. Living overseas and exploring and traveling across Europe for more than a vacation week or two.
3. Meeting new people and making new friends from all over the world.
4. Teaching the kids how to adapt by moving and establishing new friendships and routines.
5. Bonding as a family and sharing this crazy experience together.
6. Learning a new language and culture, and consuming large quantities of stroopwafels, hagel slag, and dropjes.
7. Learning by doing and experiencing life, and getting out of our normal routine.
8. Moving away so that we could appreciate all that is/was good back home like the weather, and Costco and Target and the beach and my wife!! Dang, I miss her like heck!!

So how long do I have to stay away to meet my goals (not to mention Jeff’s!)?

When are we “done”?

Most people say a year is too short and that it takes a full year to settle and acclimate.

After a year, you finally get the hang of things and how things work and you start to feel comfortable again. Your new routines are established and friendships grow roots and you start to feel like you belong. So maybe two years is the best answer?

But then why not stay for three and celebrate all that is good? If it takes a year to acclimate, and two to grow roots, maybe you bloom and shine in year three? Maybe three is the lucky, magical number. I can’t see staying longer than three so I’ll stop envisioning there for now, even though I know its possible (for some people.)

Next week we will have been here for 6 months, a half year. We could be half way done if we stay for only a year. But I don’t feel done yet. I do feel quite settled, but I’m not done settling or traveling or experiencing Europe and our family friendships are just beginning to develop. I really like the community I live in and I want to do more with the friends I’ve made. There’s more coffee to be drunk, wine to be tasted and canals to explore. I secretly hope Jeff still has another year to go, however I do know that all the good back home still awaits, so there could be an upside to a 2013 repatriation date, I’m just saying!

I write like I have a say in this. I guess I’m just dreaming of possibilities and travel itineraries and wondering where we’ll be this summer.

Are there any expats or military brats reading this that have an opinion? Did you move around as a child or stay put and have a thought to share? I’d love to hear what you think.

For now, Here I Am – in Holland.

At home, on my couch, with my family, and a blanket over my lap.

Content.

My husband is already asleep in the rocking chair, with jet lag still kicking in.

Oh, and we have 2 house guests from Hamburg’s basketball traveling team staying with us. I better go do their laundry for the games tomorrow.

It’s an exciting Friday night in the Hartley house.

Hope y’all have a good weekend! – Adriana