How can you be angry and still seek peace and love? Is that possible?

Today I got to practice. I still need more practice and I’m still learning, and I wish this practice was a little easier.  I don’t like conflict but who does and it happens all the time, sometimes on a small scale and sometimes quite big.

Today I was angry and sad and frustrated – you know all those negative feelings that erupt sometimes?  And as I was dealing with my anger and disappointment, I was still trying to practice holding it together, and to control my feelings, thoughts and words, and to still love the person standing in front of me and to see their goodness despite our disagreement.

What made me angry doesn’t matter – we all have our own issues, but how we handle our issues is what I’m practicing and that is what I wanted to share. I tend to share the happier moments of life, and I think it’s important to share the process of continuing to pursue happiness, even when it is challenging.  This week has been challenging.

Today I practiced being kind and firm while I held my position. I tried listening to the other person’s perspective and tried to understand their point of view, even though I felt the situation was unfair. I practiced taking deep breathes in the moment and felt my body relax a bit. I accepted the outcome, even though I didn’t agree. I feel that my voice was heard and that was important to me.  I was an advocate for my position and it was important for me to speak the truth, even though the truth created conflict, and the real truth was probably somewhere in between us.

I learned that even though we feel conflict and fight for what we believe is right, life is not always fair or just. And when we don’t have control and we’ve given our best, we have to make different choices and say amen, so be it, and deal with the consequences – whatever they may be, even if they are not what we may have wanted or chosen.  And let it go. Let it go. My theme for the year. Just let it go. Move on. Freedom.

Let the anger go. Let the frustration go. Let the control go.

Accept what is. And start again. 

And sometimes, we may be given gifts we weren’t expecting, and we might just have to wait to unwrap the hidden treasures. I already received several gifts just from this exchange and I am certain there will be more.  I will wait. I am sure you can relate.  We might have to wait, but the gifts are always there. Just maybe not the ones we had wished for. And that’s ok. 

Namaste and I wish you peace and I wish you well, especially to the person I had conflict with this week (who is not a part of my family.)  Bless your heart.