How can you be angry and still seek peace and love? Is that possible?
Today I got to practice. I still need more practice and I’m still learning, and I wish this practice was a little easier. I don’t like conflict but who does and it happens all the time, sometimes on a small scale and sometimes quite big.
Today I was angry and sad and frustrated – you know all those negative feelings that erupt sometimes? And as I was dealing with my anger and disappointment, I was still trying to practice holding it together, and to control my feelings, thoughts and words, and to still love the person standing in front of me and to see their goodness despite our disagreement.
What made me angry doesn’t matter – we all have our own issues, but how we handle our issues is what I’m practicing and that is what I wanted to share. I tend to share the happier moments of life, and I think it’s important to share the process of continuing to pursue happiness, even when it is challenging. This week has been challenging.
Today I practiced being kind and firm while I held my position. I tried listening to the other person’s perspective and tried to understand their point of view, even though I felt the situation was unfair. I practiced taking deep breathes in the moment and felt my body relax a bit. I accepted the outcome, even though I didn’t agree. I feel that my voice was heard and that was important to me. I was an advocate for my position and it was important for me to speak the truth, even though the truth created conflict, and the real truth was probably somewhere in between us.
I learned that even though we feel conflict and fight for what we believe is right, life is not always fair or just. And when we don’t have control and we’ve given our best, we have to make different choices and say amen, so be it, and deal with the consequences – whatever they may be, even if they are not what we may have wanted or chosen. And let it go. Let it go. My theme for the year. Just let it go. Move on. Freedom.
Let the anger go. Let the frustration go. Let the control go.
Accept what is. And start again.
And sometimes, we may be given gifts we weren’t expecting, and we might just have to wait to unwrap the hidden treasures. I already received several gifts just from this exchange and I am certain there will be more. I will wait. I am sure you can relate. We might have to wait, but the gifts are always there. Just maybe not the ones we had wished for. And that’s ok.
Namaste and I wish you peace and I wish you well, especially to the person I had conflict with this week (who is not a part of my family.) Bless your heart.
here i am 
This is beautiful and such an important lesson of life. Thanks for sharing!
Not an easy one to write – but hopefully it’ll help maybe just a little. 😉
I definitely think it will! Sometimes the harder ones to write are the most healing to us and helpful to others!
Another great post. I like how you’re keeping it real, sister… “Peace in the struggle”- those are some of my words during my struggles…. Way to be an advocate for who and what you believe in.
I admire you.
Namaste.
Peace in the struggle. I love that. Thanks for sharing, sister. Sometimes we grow even more through the struggle so it can’t be that bad. 😉 Just feels bad in the moment. And then it passes (we hope) even though not always, and whatever, so what, right? 😉 love you. namaste and thanks for connecting… peace.
What fortunate timing that I was to come across this post! I too have been struggling with a disagreement and how to handle it in an open hearted, fair yet honest way. I’ve recently realised that I avoid conflict with friends only to either stuff it inside or take it out on my husband…and I don’t want to do either. I think it’s important to stand up in this situation and speak my heart – but it’s hard to not be the peacemaker, it really is! So, thanks so much for sharing your process and helping me realise I’m not alone (and for reading my ridiculously long comment 🙂 )
Sara – you’re welcome and I hope it does help a little bit. You’re definitely not alone and I think we can still be peacemakers while being kind and firm. I think when we do take a stand, we change the dynamic in a relationship that we don’t always want, but sometimes that is necessary to protect ourselves and/or our family. That disruption is what is so uncomfortable for people who are “peacemakers.” Good luck with your process. And just remember, this too shall pass. 😉
Yes – I think that changing the dynamic in the relationship is what is disturbing me – and the fact that I wonder what the point is, other than me expressing myself – as I am fairly sure the other person isn’t receptive to what I have to say. Oh well 🙂