Anger and Peace and Love


How can you be angry and still seek peace and love? Is that possible?

Today I got to practice. I still need more practice and I’m still learning, and I wish this practice was a little easier.  I don’t like conflict but who does and it happens all the time, sometimes on a small scale and sometimes quite big.

Today I was angry and sad and frustrated – you know all those negative feelings that erupt sometimes?  And as I was dealing with my anger and disappointment, I was still trying to practice holding it together, and to control my feelings, thoughts and words, and to still love the person standing in front of me and to see their goodness despite our disagreement.

What made me angry doesn’t matter – we all have our own issues, but how we handle our issues is what I’m practicing and that is what I wanted to share. I tend to share the happier moments of life, and I think it’s important to share the process of continuing to pursue happiness, even when it is challenging.  This week has been challenging.

Today I practiced being kind and firm while I held my position. I tried listening to the other person’s perspective and tried to understand their point of view, even though I felt the situation was unfair. I practiced taking deep breathes in the moment and felt my body relax a bit. I accepted the outcome, even though I didn’t agree. I feel that my voice was heard and that was important to me.  I was an advocate for my position and it was important for me to speak the truth, even though the truth created conflict, and the real truth was probably somewhere in between us.

I learned that even though we feel conflict and fight for what we believe is right, life is not always fair or just. And when we don’t have control and we’ve given our best, we have to make different choices and say amen, so be it, and deal with the consequences – whatever they may be, even if they are not what we may have wanted or chosen.  And let it go. Let it go. My theme for the year. Just let it go. Move on. Freedom.

Let the anger go. Let the frustration go. Let the control go.

Accept what is. And start again. 

And sometimes, we may be given gifts we weren’t expecting, and we might just have to wait to unwrap the hidden treasures. I already received several gifts just from this exchange and I am certain there will be more.  I will wait. I am sure you can relate.  We might have to wait, but the gifts are always there. Just maybe not the ones we had wished for. And that’s ok. 

Namaste and I wish you peace and I wish you well, especially to the person I had conflict with this week (who is not a part of my family.)  Bless your heart.



Happiness Is

Here I Am is my life story. It’s about just being – in the moment and the pursuit of happiness. I happen to spend a lot of my time being home with my kids and family and working out and volunteering and playing, so I share these type of daily events because that’s what I do. For some reason, I find joy in sharing this journey, hoping that maybe my one life might spark something in you that helps to add joy in your life, your way.

I love my life and am always seeking ways to make it even better and I’m constantly reading and learning and adapting and changing. I tend to share the joys because those make me smile and everyone has there own burdens and don’t need anymore. I don’t like drama so I don’t write about that, even though it’s there on a daily basis. I like to smooth over those messy parts and focus on the good.

I considered stopping writing after my vacation, thinking maybe my life is “boring” to others. It has more of a routine now that we are not expats anymore. Jeff reminded me that most of the news on TV and on the internet is boring and repetitive, yet we still watch it and read it. We learn new things and have opinions and feelings and share our ideas and thoughts, and make connections, based on what we see and learn.

I decided that I want to keep on writing, because I think I know something about positive living and the pursuit of happiness and I hear from so many of you that you like what I have to say. This is rewarding to me. I don’t have life all figured out, but I love that you write to me via comments or text or private Facebook messages and private conversations and validate what I share. I love the feedback loop and hearing about your lives too. We are connected and I love this. So thank you for continuing to follow along and for sharing this beautiful life with me. You are loved.

I hope you had a wonderful day. My day was simple and rewarding. I worked out, met with some people to plan the details of an 8th grade graduation dinner next week, had lunch with a friend who just had surgery, and then picked up my kids from school. My daughter and I played tennis together, and my son and I played Connect Four after dinner.

No one had to be anywhere tonight and Jeff was home early because he has been sick. All my work is done for the day and it’s only 7:30 pm. This makes me extremely happy. I get to go to bed early tonight and catch up on sleep!! Life is good.

Have a great night!

Rain Moments

Writing every day helps me to live in the moment and to be truly present. I am conscious of the fact that I wish to have something to share by the end of the day, which will hopefully be meaningful and perhaps might inspire others. That is my daily goal. And so I pay attention to the moments that come and go and think about what might be interesting to share.

I still believe in living it up and enjoying the days despite the chaos and craziness that life delivers now that we are back to a more normal routine and I actively seek the pursuit of happiness. Daily. We all can do this and it feels so good!

One of our family mottos is to work first, and then play. Sometimes we work and play, but we work hard as a team, and we work together so that we all can experience joy and do what we want to do. It works for us and there is a lot of gratitude between us.

Today we worked together after school, getting snacks, cleaning up, and taking care of appointments. On the way home, we stopped to play, spontaneously before the rain started to fall.

There are tennis courts near our house and Juliana wanted to work on her serve and Charlie wanted to practice hitting. Luckily all our tennis gear was in the car and UGG boots aren’t too bad for a coach! :-). I fed her balls and gave her little tips and watched and enjoyed seeing her listen and apply the little tweaks to improve her serve and get it in the court successfully.

Charlie was digging the balls and returning them back over the net too.

The rain started to fall shortly after we started, but we didn’t let it stop us. We played on as we learned in Holland that a little rain doesn’t make you melt!! My straightened hair got a little frizzy, but it was worth it for the spontenaity and fun!


We got home in time for dinner and a little more homework before the next events of the evening.

Charlie and I were playing in the car, watching and listening to the rain, while we had ten minutes to wait before his basketball practice. I love his little profile and got to enjoy him, even though I’m so tired from him waking me up at 2:30 am this morning wanting to sleep in my bed!! Can’t wait for bed time tonight. I’m exhausted.


So my take away to share today is even if you’re wearing your grouchy pants like me, there are still ways to squeeze in little unexpected moments of joy and happiness if you choose to change your mind and allow yourself to feel joy in between the cracks of exhaustion and frustration.


How did you create happiness today?

A Glass of Wine, Two Girl Scout Cookies, and Three or Four Pieces of Chocolate

How did you experience joy today? What did you say YES to?

We put so many restrictions on ourselves and set up our own set of complicated rules – but WHY?  Life is too short. Let’s laugh more.

What if we set up rules and structures to give ourselves permission to laugh and have fun and to relax and feel and experience REAL joy – in the moment?  Maybe bend the rules or change the expectations just because we can, even if we do look silly? Maybe not in every moment, nor every day, but maybe every so often when the moment strikes?

I find fun and laugh and am silly every day, and typically I make my family laugh too, even when they are less than happy. It’s good for my soul and it makes me happy and I hope it helps them too. I don’t take things that seriously, because really, we’re all struggling with something, and wouldn’t we rather laugh and move through the struggles as quickly as possible so that we can get back to joy and the pursuit of happiness and peacefully co-existing together?

Today I found personal joy in food and drink. I had more chocolate than usual and a glass of wine that tasted so good with the chocolates. I enjoyed every bite and sip, even though I know I shouldn’t because I’m trying to lose another 5 to 10 pounds – (it’s a life long journey, right??) I’ve decided it’s ok if it takes a little longer because I’m working hard every day to exercise and eat right, but sometimes a girl just needs to indulge and be ok with that too!  And I don’t feel guilty, because I loved the experience of enjoying the food and so my shouldn’ts turned into enjoy-the-moments today and I smiled. I’ll get there… 

I found joy today by letting go of my plans to clean and do homework with the kids right after school and instead, bringing the kids to the tennis courts to enjoy play time and sunshine before the rain comes tomorrow.  They just had to stay up a little later to finish their work and that’s ok too. Being flexible is another good life skill, right? 

I found joy in spoiling the kids by getting them Panda Express for dinner after their practice and play, even though I had already made dinner and had it already ready for when we were to come home, because really, their dinner idea was much easier and more fun than the healthy one I had made. I want to think I’m teaching them flexibility and to let go of all the shoulda’s as in “we should go home and eat” and “we should be doing our homework.”  Hopefully I’m not just spoiling them, but that would be ok with me too, now that I think about it. I like spoiling them as long as they are grateful and kind, which I think they are. I actually really enjoy being around them and am fully aware that they’ll be leaving the house sooner than I’ll probably be ready. I am enjoying the moments, just like all the wise women have told me to do.

What did you do that was fun today?

What made you laugh and smile? 

How did you experience joy?  

Hmm… I’m curious.  Namaste.