The London Eye

Tonight we flew home from London to Amsterdam. The idea of going home felt a little bit strange. When I asked the kids if they felt like they were going home, they said no. They said that home was back in Sunnyvale. And when I asked if they were excited to see their friends, they were hesitant. Juliana said her friends were in Sunnyvale and she missed those friends. Not that she doesn’t have friends in Amsterdam, but she doesn’t have a history with the new friends yet – the history that makes you long for the shared experiences and casual laughter that feels normal. We still have to create those. And when we do, I think Amsterdam will feel more like home. We’ll have more of a sense of attachment, that we don’t currently have and I think that’s probably normal.

For me, I felt ready to go home (to NL) because this is where I’m creating our new routines, establishing connections, and getting settled. I have work to do, and I like to be busy and I’m eager to build new structures.  But it doesn’t quite feel like that home feeling like Sunnyvale does either – and by that I mean, our home here in NL doesn’t give us the comfort of returning to a familiar place when returning from afar. We’re still learning and adapting. It still felt nice walking in the door, and actually seeing a neighbor walking up to her door at the same time as we arrived, but it definitely had a different feel. So I feel like we’re in the process of making this our home, but our hearts are still in California. Does that make sense? 

P.S.  I forgot Trinity’s birthday while we were away – forgot to look at my birthday calendar and to even think of birthdays! So a belated, happy birthday, to my niece and I’m so sorry we forgot to call you!!  I hope you enjoyed your special day!! xo