Tag Archives: yin and yang

Awards 

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I have mixed feelings about awards ceremonies. As much as I love sharing the joys of life, awards ceremonies feel funny to me. They are not my favorite.

I am not the mom who put the bumper sticker on my car, proclaiming that my child is great.

Maybe it’s because this type of celebration is personal and doesn’t define my child to me. I don’t like the pressure, even though I have the expectation for them to be their personal best. And I don’t like singling them out. I prefer the connection with their peers and teachers and family and teams, as being a part of the whole.

I think I like the ordinariness of life and them just being, doing what they are doing and I don’t need an award as a receipt or acknowledgment of their success. And I don’t want others to feel less.

Awards measure what is tangible whereas I value more what is intangible: their character, and kindness, their ability to love others, their patience and determination to not give up and to work hard. Maybe the awards reflect some of these intangible values as well.

I do appreciate the awards and recognitions however they don’t bring as much joy as I would expect and that’s confusing to me. It feels like another one of those yin and yang moments. I am thankful for their hard work and that there is a way to recognize them, having us pause and to be present and to focus our awareness on all that is good in this moment called Awards Night.

Congratulations to all the awards recipients today! I guess I do kinda like awards after all, and you deserve the credit and acknowledgment for your good work.

Namaste.

Sundaze

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 Whenever I get comfy on the couch, our cat jumps on my chest and snuggles in too. He can’t get close enough and it makes everyone laugh. I think he chooses me because I’m always warm. Juliana thinks he picks me because I’m the one that isn’t needy or wanting of his attention. I am definitely his favorite human at least for now, as we were all sitting on the couch and he wouldn’t leave my lap. Jeff gets such a kick out of our dynamic.

This was just one of the Sunday moments that made me smile.  

What made you smile today? Have a great week, BeLOVErs.

Life IS. Not fair.

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I like to see the good in this world and focus my attention here. I choose to celebrate life daily, finding a nugget of happiness even  on the less than perfect days.

And even on the almost perfectly imperfect days, while I’m celebrating a moment of joy, I am aware that others are suffering.

Like today.

Today I was filled with joy, anticipating Christian putting on his first tuxedo as he was going to prom tonight. I was admiring my baby and how he has grown up into a tall, kind and handsome young man. I enjoyed watching my husband help him with his shirt buttons and cuff links. I loved watching his transformation in front of my eyes.

  
And while I was enjoying my moment of joy, I was thinking of Chase and his family and feeling their sadness. It’s been a year and a half since he passed away and it just doesn’t feel fair.  Life just is. Yin and yang. Joy and sadness, swirled.

*big sigh*

As we were getting ready, I happened to glance at Facebook and learned that my friend’s daughter passed away from a horrible disease, cystic fibrosis. I felt for their family and the pain they are experiencing today and that will continue. I was crying tears of happiness and sadness at the same time.

I think we are all connected and that their children, are our children. And their pain, is our pain.  And the other mamas, are part of me too.

As I was feeling joy and celebrating my son tonight, I was also feeling sadness for their loss. Yin and yang. Life is. Not fair. It just is. 

nAMaste, BeLOVErs – wherever you are in this moment of life. 

Rest in peace, Hunter.

Never Say Never

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If you asked me if I ever would have a cat, the answer would have been never.

If you asked me if I would ever live far away from my family, the answer would have been never.

If you asked me if I ever wanted to go back to work again, the answer would have been never.

And yet, I have a cat and actually have two. I’ve lived far away from my family for 25 years, longer than I ever lived with them. And I love working again and never wanted to go back.

I am content in my NeverLand.

What have you said never to and are doing now? Never say never.

New Driver

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This was weird. Today my son and my husband happened to be driving next to Juliana and I, as Christian wanted more driving practice (Juliana snapped this picture.) Having him right next to me, yet in another car was strange.

I’m excited for him to be practicing and knowing that he’ll soon be able to drive on his own and can get himself where he needs to be and maybe even help drive his siblings and run errands for me. I’m also a bit melancholy, thinking that he’s growing up and taking flight and once he can drive early next year, he’ll be on his own much more and will need me even less. I’m letting go, letting out the heart strings a little more, like we all do and feeling the growing pains.  Yin and yang, and today I caught another glimpse in the rain, of joy and fear.

I wish you well Christian and know you will be your best and am excited for you and your growing independence. Keep up the good work.

nAMaste

Day and Night – Love the Light

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I am stressed. This time of year stresses me out and gives me anxiety, every single time it comes around. I know it’s coming and I do my best to manage it but I find myself overwhelmed and loving it all at the same time. Yin and Yang.

I’m practicing slowing down in the busyness, at least to breathe and to pay attention to my family and my surroundings and to my body. That hopefully balances out the to do lists, chaos and disorder that surround and swirl around me daily. The key word is practicing. I’m still learning. *smile*

The light colored leaves captured my attention on my walk today with my friend. I love these colors and shapes and how they look both beautiful on the branches and fallen covering the ground.

The purple and pink sky took my breathe away and slowed me down before getting in the car to drive Charlie to his event. I loved driving around and watching the sky show. Juliana mentioned that it looked like we  lived in Aruba or Hawaii with that kind of sunset. I’m glad she enjoyed it too.

After Charlie’s practice, he asked me to drive down the street with his friends still in the car so that we all could see the house that is fully decorated with lights and animated inflatables, including santa in a helicopter. There was also a figure with a lit up countdown to Christmas that displayed there are 15 days left until Santa arrives. YIKES!! Only 2 more weeks to enjoy the insanity and make memories.

Wishing you love and light and peace amongst the chaos, BeLoveRs. Remember to breathe in happiness and breathe out stress. Naaaaaahmaaaaste.

xo Adriana

nAMaste at the End of the Day

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It’s been killing me to not write tonight. I gave myself permission not to, which is all I needed. I felt free!! And my spark came back.

I was feeling sad today about giving up my creative outlet. I made a really nice dinner and thought my cooking was my creative outlet and I enjoyed being in the moment chopping green beans and slicing flank steak across the grain for the stir fry I was preparing. I felt joy in taking the time to cook for my family and hoped they would appreciate my gift, which they all did.

But the real gift came when sitting with Juliana, eating dinner just the two of us before our evening events.

I told her about my blog post last night and she was shocked and told me that she thought I was making a bad choice. She reminded me about how much I love writing and how it’s been the consistent thing I do every day and how it’s been the common thread since before we moved to Amsterdam. She reminded me that it’s my “nAMaste at the end of the day” and it’s my mindfulness practice and time to reflect. That girl makes me think and my mind is open to her opinion, even when hers is different than mine.  Although, she just brought out the truth I was hiding. She was right. 

As we sat and chatted together, Zuma came and parked herself on my lap. This is the cat that doesn’t want to be held and does her own thing and doesn’t want to be bothered. Yet last night and today, she came and sat on me and made me sit still. I wanted to move and do work, yet I stayed and listened to her too. When I tried to take her picture, she hid in my lap and made me smile.  

 Sometimes you need to slow down and just be. So I did.

And tonight when I thought I wasn’t going to write, I saw Cassie’s story circles post on Facebook. She does the same thing that I do every night, except she reflects on her day through art and she does it every night after the house quiets down. It’s her ritual, just like mine. She shows up and takes time for herself, being creative and doing what she loves, even when she’s tired.

So Juliana and Cassie, thank you for inspiring me to keep writing. I’m not ready to stop tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe not. Just knowing that I have the freedom to not write on any given night is a gift. Isn’t it weird how we make up our own rules and change them? I’ll leave you with that thought…

nAMaste at the end of the day.

xo