Attraction

I am working on this one.

I am not trying to attract attention, but maybe I am.

I am trying to attract like mindedness with my kid, who at the moment (this morning), is frustrating me. He has a very strong will and so do I and I’m the mama so I have seniority and tenure, as if that means anything. I find that when I react in a negative way (think yelling and threatening to take away everything he desires), I attract negative behavior back. He mimics me or I mimic him or maybe we mimic each other.

I am practicing staying calm and focused on being kind and firm as I guide him and I together on our shared trajectory. I have so many things to still teach him and to learn myself, at least that is my intention. I am hoping that if I stay calm and don’t overreact, that he’ll mimic me and listen and learn about cause and effect and make good choices too. I am still learning and practicing repetition, breathing and patience. I know it works. It just takes time to practice and it isn’t easy and it’s work. UGH.

All good things take work. I’ll keep practicing and loving on him as we grow up together, one day, one hug at a time. I’ll check back with you in 7 years and let you know how this little experiment turns out.  🙂

nAMaste

 

 

 

Work and Play

This is one of my mottos. We work hard and we play hard. We do the work and then we play.

I’m trying to instill these values in my kids and I’m trying to help them to be accountable and responsible as we enter the summer season, much to my oldest’s dismay.

He thinks he should be free to do whatever he wants and that there should be no expectations whatsoever.  He says I used to be the cool mom but now I’m a bit crazy. Bless his heart. He doesn’t understand my motivations and I’m trying to teach, ever so gently, yet we have lots of conflict and it’s only Day 1.  God give me patience and grace and help me to be a good teacher.

I’ve asked them to come up with their own daily schedules to help them feel like they have structure to their days without asking me what they should do or telling me that they are bored. I told them that they have limited screen time and that they have to include time to eat, do chores, read, exercise, rest, play, outdoor time, learn and have time to be giving. It is up to them to come up with a rough sketch of how they think the day should play out and that they should think of some of the fun activities and places they would like to visit. 

I want them to feel empowered and I want them to be productive, while still enjoying the laziness of summer. without being too lazy.

Each night they are to come up with a plan and write it out, share it with me and then we’ll decide if we need to make any changes. Once we have a plan, it’s perfectly fine for it to change, but doing nothing everyday is not ok.

For Juliana and Charlie, this was easy. It worked. No gripes. They worked hard, played hard and enjoyed their first day. For Christian, not so much. He didn’t like this idea at all and has resisted. He is of course a teenager and has his own definitions and knows it all, so I’m ok with that. We’re working through the chaos and conflict and loving each other despite the disagreements. I think we’ll meet in the middle hopefully by the middle of this week.  

Here are copies of their charts from tonight. I especially loved Juliana’s creativity, Charlie’s family ideas, and Christian’s list of possible ideas to explore. They are thinking. They are creating. They are working. They are playing. I am happy.

Happy Summer Everyone!! If you like this idea, steal it, copy it, and let me know if you have success!! xo

 

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