Sitting Bull

Can you sit still?

I can’t. I mean I can sit, but I can’t stay for long.  I want to crawl out of my skin and do something. I have lists you know!

I tried to slow down today and did. I sat, but my brain had other plans. I was like a sitting bull, just waiting to attack.

I literally need help. And not just from  a chiropractor. or a masseuse.

My brain doesn’t turn off. I feel bad for my family because I have so many ideas to share and plans for us to do things together. I probably drive them crazy!

I admire people who can sit at home and read a book. I always think I should be doing something else and my mind starts doing flip flops.

I need to practice putting my phone down, keeping my hands still and just being.   Maybe I’ll have to practice for 3 minutes with nothing to do and then move up from there?  This is probably what they mean by being present and in the moment and here I thought I was doing it right. I need mindfulness and meditation and some yoga!

Geez – I have a lot to learn.

How was your day? Can you sit still? What do you like to do? Got any tips for me?

Day 102: Slowing Down


Every day I play cards with my mom, while she’s here.  We can just sit, chat, joke, laugh, reminisce, and drink something hot or cold, and JUST BE together – playing cards.


How often do you slow down and just relax? I’m not that good at this. I feel like I’m always in a state of movement and have a really hard time sitting still. I have a hard time reading a book, because that means I have to sit and focus and do only ONE thing, and that feels like a luxury, and usually I get distracted or feel like I should be doing something else!! I think I have ADD!!

But the good thing about writing this blog, is that every night I stop and focus and think about what I’m thankful for or what I’ve learned or experienced that had meaning to me. I never plan what I’m going to write. Usually around 11:30 pm or 12:30 am (or last night it was 2:30 am!) I finally sit and think and rest and write. Sometimes I reflect on what my friends and family are experiencing and spend a moment thinking about their journey and say a prayer for them, or I think of ways I could help or offer support/love.  I guess stopping to reflect is a form of meditation and grace. It gives me time to be thankful and mindful for all that IS. (I was going to say good, but sometimes things are bad, or funny or sad, and they just ARE, and that’s ok, too.) I’m learning that life just IS, and it’s how I react and adapt to life that matters. And stopping to be really present is a gift that I kinda like. And for some reason I’m sharing this publicly, which I don’t quite understand why, but I do love that you read my story and share along with me, and sometimes even smile.   Namaste.

p.s. Something to share about Holland – stores are typically closed on Sundays, except for the first Sunday of the month and then it’s shopping Sunday and the stores are open. So today we went shopping for warm clothes, especially for a warm, winter coat for Charlie. There are few choices and stores to choose from, and we only had to visit a couple until finding the right one at the right price!  We went to the Makro, Perry and The Decathlon, and chose just the right coat at Perry. Lucky me, the one I chose was on sale with an extra 20% off. I still love bargains!!  Afterwards, we walked into the Woon Mall – a large, indoor, mainly furniture and home wares mall, that also has the best ice cream in Holland. If you’re looking for good, premium ice cream (that isn’t gelato), then go try Australian ice cream. I know we’ll be back!!  It was creamy and smooth and delicious, with the most fresh, crisp, cones!  Mmm….

Oh, and while we were at the Makro, we bought food stuff to make a Boerenkool Stamppot for dinner. Basically, it’s a dutch comfort stew/mash with potatoes, kale, onions, bacon and something like kielbasa sausage. It’s very delicious and warms you up on a cold night. This is so Dutch, too!  Mom made some brown gravy to put on top and we put spicy mustard on the sausage. Mmmm… I’m starting to feel hungry again!!  It hit the spot!  It’s nice having mom here to cook.  😉