marriage best practices

Did you live it up today? What made you smile?

My day was full of smiles.

Today was a day to celebrate – but isn’t every day?

It reached 81 degrees out today and felt like summer!

Jeff’s grandparents celebrated 71 years of marriage today. Isn’t that amazing? I called them from the baseball field and we chatted for 20 minutes which is a very long time!

They grew up in a time where every minute on the phone cost a lot of money, so I appreciated every minute we shared together. They read my blog every day – Hi MamMam and PopPop!! I asked them what their marriage success tips were and they said that they listened to each other and did what each other asked of each other (most of the time). They just choose to get along and to take care of one another. I think this is brilliant advice. PopPop reminded me that I’ve been married for quite awhile now and asked me what I thought made for a successful marriage and I told him that we were going on 18 years already, and that we really liked each other and were each other’s best friend and that we really just liked being together. He said that he thought I then knew the secret too. And we laughed. This made my day. I loved hearing them tell stories and love how they look out for each other. I want to live my life that way too, forever. PopPop will be 94 and MamMam will be 90 very soon. I think they are very wise and had some good advice to share today. Way to live it up!

I wandered around the field collecting trash as I chatted on the phone, which made me feel good and it didn’t take too much time. I probably picked up at least 50 pieces…isn’t that crazy?

MLs birthday was today too. We spontaneously found some time to go get a pedicure together.

We got to enjoy some pampering and chattering and time together celebrating sweet her! I love time with friends and love birthdays for an excuse to get together, not that we really need one. My toes are thankful!!

Debbie’s birthday was today too! Happy Birthday, Debbie. Let’s celebrate tomorrow since I didn’t get a chance to stop by for a visit today.

The kids are getting very busy with their sports and I’m loving seeing them in action.

I love that they are part of teams and are outside running around every day with their friends. Team sports are such an important part of growing up and I’m thankful they have all found a place to practice.

Life is good.

Live it up. Love it Out. and Laugh Out Loud! Namaste

Riding home from school with Charlie today in the bakfiets.

It’s almost Friday – are you smiling yet? 🙂

What makes for a good marriage?

These pictures were in a store front window and made me laugh and think.

As sexist as they may be, there is some truth to them and I think the truth pertains to both sexes for both statements.

What I see in the images is that a good man provides for his wife. I also think a good wife provides for her husband. How the couple chooses to provide and support one another is key.

In the second image, it shows that it’s important for a woman to maintain her health and look good for her mate. I think it’s important for both partners to take care of their physical well being and to look and feel good, primarily for themselves and secondarily to maintain their attractiveness to their spouse. I disagree with the measurements, of course, but agree with the idea of maintaining our health so that we can live a healthy, long, life together. When we feel good about ourselves, we have more positive energy to share with others. I think it’s important that we take the time to exercise and eat right most days, and to accept our bodies while we continuously maintain and improve them.

What are some other important attributes of healthy marriages?

I’ll share a little list.

1. Trust.
2. Unconditional love.
3. Laughter.
4. Independence.
5. Togetherness.
6. Shared interests.
7. Open communication.
8. Respect.
9. Patience.
10. Understanding.
11. Empathy.
12. Appreciation.
13. Confidence.
14. Faith.
15. Admiration.
16. Support.
17. Friendship.
18. Shared dreams.
19. Compassion.
20. Thoughtfulness.
21. Physical attraction.

What would you add to the list? What are the most important attributes?

I think that marriage is a practice. It’s something that is never done. The happily ever after comes after doing the work and investing time and energy and creating a shared history of practice and loving and forgiving and letting go and creating and starting over and keeping things new again and again. The practice of renewal and commitment helps to strengthen the bonds of marriage and keeps the relationship fresh.

In Dutch, they have a word to describe a cozy, warm, joyful, home or experience that they describe as gezellig. There really isn’t an English equivalent for the feeling that comes from this word that I know of, but I think gezellig is a good word to describe a good marriage.

Is your marriage gezellig? I wish you enough.

Namaste.