Today I Am      sad.

Grief comes in waves and you never know when a wave is going to come crashing.

Today is Chase’s 18th birthday and he’s celebrating it in heaven, while the rest of us remember and grieve in our own ways.

I can’t imagine what the pain feels like for his mama and dad and brother and sister, if what we are feeling is like this.

The only thing I know is that we have to keep paddling to not drown.

And so we moved through our day, doing what we “had” to do, yet feeling such an extreme loss and feeling confused, not really understanding why.

I know that he was loved and that his family is loved beyond words, beyond gifts, beyond what is. Everyone wanted to share in the pain and to love them through it, providing tangible and intangible help.

Maybe that’s all we’re supposed to do. Just love, and wait and be kind and lift each other up while we wait for this feeling, this wave of grief, to subside.

Wishing us all peace and love. xo

Love you.