I saw this list of books in a magazine today and it made me think of parenting kids. I haven’t read any of them but I’m sure they are good.
I tend to skim books and read articles and listen to friends’ stories and learn as I go from trial and error. I did read Positive Discipline by Jane Nelson and One Two Three Magic by Thomas Phelan and those two helped me tremendously. I also tend to learn by doing. I have some philosophies and values and mottos that I try to live by and practice, and so far, I’d say I have awesome kids. They’re perfectly imperfect AND they are kids. And I adore them.
Today we had a moment where we were still practicing!!
I like that word – practice. Life is a practice and don’t you feel so much better when you think that we’re all still learning? Takes the pressure off, huh?
So back to the moment. The two younger ones were fighting over the front seat of the car. I thought I’d let them figure it out and observe, thinking it’s good that they practice problem solving and how to be fair and to make good decisions on their own. That was until one socked the other and then all bets were off. The punched kid automatically got the front seat, and the puncher got their electronic device taken away and was silenced. Of course, that one wanted to talk and justify their position, and I wouldn’t have it. It was my turn to talk and preach and lecture and remind and share my words of wisdom and they got to listen.
They were both wrong. They both made bad choices, and bless their hearts, they’re still learning. I explained the lessons and they listened and they got it.
Luckily, they have a mom that doesn’t like conflict and grievances and wants things fixed as fast as possible so that we can get back to living happily ever after, right now. I don’t like any of us to stay mad or to hold on to grudges and I like us to let go and move on, immediately. Proving we are right is less important than being happy together. We can agree to disagree and let go. Just like that. No drama.
So I asked them both to apologize for their parts so that we could be done with this lovely moment. And they obliged. They’ve had practice and this doesn’t happen that often anymore, but we’re imperfect, remember? They figured out how to authentically apologize and to accept each others’ sorries and we were done by the time we parked the car 10 minutes later.
All was well with my awesome kids again. One of them even thanked me for helping them through it and teaching them.
Ha! I’d say this moment was awesome.
Tell me about your awesome kids, or awesome dog, or awesome self. What went well today?