Gifts Not Gaps, Connection vs. Conflict

Posted in family, Happiness, Mindfulness, one love, parenting, positive living, rooted, simple living by adrianahartley

These are the words that I repeat daily in my mind and out loud with my family.

Today my husband said the words, as if they were his original thoughts. This is a huge compliment. They stuck and mean something to him too and I loved this moment.

I sometimes have a tendency to focus on the gaps, the little things that frustrate me, instead of the gifts that my family bring to my life. I want to stay in the space of creating connections and happiness and seeing the gifted moments and living happily ever after, day by day. When I focus on the gaps, I get stuck in a negative place and I don’t like that. So this is a daily practice to overlook the gaps, to let go, and to get back to joy as quickly as possible.

When my kids are arguing with each other, I ask them if they are creating connections or conflict with one another and if they don’t answer with connections, I ask them what they can do to create a connection instead of a conflict. It empowers them to choose and to take ownership of their actions and to focus on creating peace, just as soon as possible. Our goal is to create happiness and to take care of each other, all the time.

This is how we find and create happiness day by day.

Choose peace.

Choose love.

Choose gifts.

Choose connections.

We get to choose every day!!

What will you choose tomorrow?

nAMaste

3Jan2016

Gifts Not Gaps

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

Pain and loss are part of our lives, sometimes personally and other times experienced by our loved ones and thus affecting us.

What are we to do with pain? How do we healthfully process it and accept it and continue living happily ever?

Pain creates a glaring gap that’s hard to ignore. It creates a hole in our lives and stops us and sometimes even changes the trajectory of our journey. It creates a gap between our dreams and our reality that is not in our control.

Sometimes we get stuck and can only see and feel the pain and fall into the gap. How do we get out?

I think the secret to moving on and processing the pain and moving forward is spending more time focusing on our gifts instead of what is lacking. It’s a practice of gratitude for all that is still good, despite the despair. The pain doesn’t just dissipate because we’re thinking happy thoughts, but we get to choose where to focus our energy and to adapt to our circumstances.

If we choose to focus on the gap, then that is where we will stay and that is what we will experience the most. If we choose to focus on what is good and working in our lives, potentially, eventually, we will close the gap and be able to move forward despite what’s missing and causing grief. Perhaps the gap will slowly diminish to the point that it doesn’t draw us in and define us.

I think we want to define ourselves by the goodness in our lives and the potential that lies in front of us everyday, despite our sufferings. We understand that pain and suffering exist for whatever reasons, however we don’t want to live in this space for very long. We have to keep choosing to see the good, despite the gap, and moving forward.

I think this is where the mind is very powerful and can help to transform us and help us to live happily ever after, even after experiencing pain and loss, if we are able to choose to allow ourselves this gift of life and all that is good, that is available to us despite the pain, right now.

See the good in you and others and really focus on what is good in our life, and acknowledge the gaps, but don’t dwell there. Perhaps the gap will eventually diminish and become part of our past as it shapes our future, so that we can live fully in the present.

Wishing you peace and love, BeLoveRs, focused on gifts, not gaps.

nAMaste

16Dec2015

Three Wise Friends

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

I had three friends come to my door unexpectedly yesterday and today and I was so happy to see them.

They didn’t stay for long, but just popped in to say hello, as they were passing by.

Their presence was such a BIG gift to me and I was pleasantly surprised and thankful to see their faces.

My life has been in transition as I am working more and socializing and volunteering less. I miss the simple joys of friendship and conversation, even as I’m thankful for the path I’m currently on. Seeing them at my door was so nice.

Pat brought me a Christmas gift, which was an artistic, sunshine happiness journal and a beautiful ornament, just because she said it had my name all over it. Thank you for my thoughtful gift and for thinking of me, Miss Pat, and thank you for your friendship.

I will enjoy making my book of 101 rays of sunshine.

What made you happy today?

nAMaste

11Jan2015

On the Outside Looking In

Posted in Uncategorized by adrianahartley

I came home from my tennis match tonight and caught this glimpse from the outside looking in and I stopped and paused with a joyful heart.

I made a pot of chili in my new Le Creuset dutch oven, before my game so that it was ready for everyone when they got hungry. I love to cook and I love to make food for my family and friends. This feels like love to me.

When I came home, I felt joy peeking in and seeing my family in the kitchen, getting themselves some dinner and just being there together. It was one of those moments, that you just sit and stare in wonder over something so simple and normal.

I felt a sense of self and family.

I had time to play with my friends and to serve my family too, and I was excited to see them again. They actually came to surprise me at the end of my match and I was grateful that they chose to come out to support me. They are so cool and that made me feel loved. They came after Charlie’s winning basketball game was over. I was lucky and thankful that Jeff was home to support Charlie and to get him to and from his game so that I had the freedom to play my match without worry. Thank you, Jeff. You are a great husband and father. Thanks for saying hello and taking the kids back home while I finished up with my team.

I love to have a little time for myself and feel energized and happy to come back again to see my family after I’ve had time to exercise or do whatever.

I loved this little glimpse of seeing my family from a distance and appreciating all that they are, just simply being.

Life is good. I hope you had a restful Sunday and had time to play, time to pray or meditate or hope and dream, and time to be with family and friends.

Have a great week, BeLoveRs. xo