I Am Tired

I try to call my mama every day. I just love hearing her voice and her stories and lately I’ve been calling her from the little spaces in between here and there and where I need to be next. She typically asks me how I’m doing, and I usually say, something like all is well, I’m good, and I’m tired. She reflected back to me that I always say I’m tired, and asked, “Why is that?”

I told her,  “It’s because I’m really tired.”

She asked me, “Why are you always tired?”

I said, “Because I don’t sleep well anymore and typically stay up later than I should and am awake earlier than my alarm clock, which means I’m typically getting 5 to maybe 7 hours of sleep per night.”

My mind is always busy and that’s not necessarily a good thing nor something to brag about.

Granted, I do love to be busy but probably not like this, and yet this isn’t a complaint either. It just is the state of being right now, in my little world, with three kids in three competitive sports, and youth group activities, homework, a new job for me, an exciting and cool startup for Jeff, as well as my volunteer commitments and community building and exercising, and lots of time back and forth coordinating ride shares and driving my little lovelies from here to there.

My life is good and all is well and busy and I’m tired.  Luckily I wasn’t too tired to see the beautiful sky show tonight with shades of pinks and bright oranges cutting through the blue sky while driving across town.

Now, I just have to figure out how to be less tired. Do you know how? I am learning to regretfully say no and not to over commit, yet the days are still so long and full. Another thing to learn and practice. How do you practice slowing down in the midst of the rush that you really actually love and enjoy? Life is so interesting and tiring and wonderful.

I’m off to bed before the clock strikes midnight… goodnight and sleep well and please do share your thoughts.


Table Topics

The kids were playing table topics tonight as they gathered around the family room with friends after dinner.

One of the cards read, “If you could erase one thing from your life, what would it be?”

Some of the kids had lists of ideas. 

I thought about this after I heard of the topic and think that all of our experiences shape us and guide us and make us who we are. 

We need the good and the bad, the light and the dark, the happy and the sad. We learn from our mistakes and failures and gain empathy and compassion and knowledge. Some lessons come easier than others. I am thankful for the collection to date and am enjoying creating new ones every day.

Have a good, short week and embrace all that you are. You are enough. 


Resilience and Permission to Fail

You’re ok.

Perfection is overrated.

You’re good enough.

I was just wondering if we are teaching our kids that it’s ok to make mistakes?  Are we giving our kids permission to fail and heaven forbid, not be the best?

There seems to be so much pressure on our society to be the best, to be the skinniest and the fittest, and the smartest and the fastest and the prettiest and the first and the whatever. What’s the race all about anyway? What about happiness and joy and just being ok with who we are right now, looking silly and maybe even sloppy? Is that even allowed any more?

I think we have to model for our kids how to not be perfect and I’m not trying to make excuses. I just want them to know that we’re ok too and I want us to be ok with being enough. We do our best and our best has to be good enough.

This is what I want to teach my kids. If they make a mistake, so what?  Acknowledge what went right. Acknowledge what didn’t work and fix it for next time. And then try again. It doesn’t have to be so complicated.  Keep learning and practicing this life thing and don’t be so hard on yourself. Repetition is good. And making mistakes means you’re trying and growing and learning. It’s ok. That’s what I want them to know. You have my permission to fail. Just learn from your mistakes so that life can carry on as smoothly as possible for yourself and everyone else around you, because our lives are really interconnected as much as we think we are on our own.

I want them to be ok right where they are, every day. I want them to make mistakes and I want them to figure out what’s important to them and to make the most of all their experiences and relationships – the good and bad and ugly.  I think this is the path to happiness. Accepting what is. Adapting and moving forward and liking themselves right now.

Carry on, resilient BeLoveRs. You’ve got this.


Where do you find joy?

I find it everyday in many places and seek it out and celebrate it out loud. My daughter thinks I’m crazy. I think I’m just joyful.

I wish you joy every day in little and big ways, by yourself, with friends, at work, at play and with your family. I wish you enough. How did you experience joy today?

My joy came from finishing wrapping all our gifts.

It came watching my mom and Charlie play war together.


It came again when working out and taking the bakfiets out for a ride to the park to check on the boys. I felt joyful that the sun was shining and I was wearing a tank top in December.

I felt joy preparing gifts and food to share at a party tonight with friends.

I love this life right now and am still thankful for all the joy that surrounds me and you.

Get your joy on!


Day 301: More than Enough

You know how I sometimes say, “I wish you enough”?  To me, that could mean enough:











And tonight, I include travel.

I am learning the hard way.  I had enough, more than enough and I am burned out.

I am exhausted.

I am tired.

I had too much, more than enough and I need a break.  Kinda like eating too much chocolate and then feeling bloated, but still wanting one more taste.  I don’t want to stop traveling and playing, but I need to.

I would not recommend booking every weekend full for two months at a time, like we have, with three kids in tow. Not an expat best practice. And my kids are not happy with me.  They just want to chill and hangout and see their friends. I get it. I can learn from them too.

It’s hard to admit that when I feel invincible and want to do it all and see it all before we move and I feel like we have to do it all right now. I don’t like to slow down and I don’t like to admit it when I’m not feeling well.  I also don’t like to say no or change plans once we make commitments.

I’m not trying to complain, I’m just being honest. My body is not liking me right now and I’m listening (I think).  My kids are tired too and I think we’ve all had more than enough. Yikes.

So I am practicing saying no and changing plans, and I’m learning to adapt in other ways that make me uncomfortable.

I wish you enough and the courage to know and say when enough is enough.