C is for Creating Space. Actually, it’s C for Charlie and he was using his new wood burning tools and enjoying our staycation at home this afternoon.
As I was sitting next to him, and designing and burning images with him, he asked me if this was what I was going to write about on my blog tonight. I found it interesting that he found it worthy of sharing and that he was curious whether I would want to share our experience. I told him I’d only share it if he wanted me to, as I respect his privacy. I find myself wanting to share less about their story as I share my “happily ever after”a that we’re living together. Some experiences I want to burn on my brain only and hold close, especially as they’re getting bigger and aren’t little kids anymore.
I was thankful for the space we created, even though I resisted doing “nothing” today. Sometimes I guess I need the uncomfortable space of nothingness to enjoy the flowing moments like these that show up when you surrender.
We stayed home for Christmas and are practicing the art of not having a schedule, which really tests my patience. My family loves it, but for me it’s really uncomfortable to not have a plan. I do find joy in that the day lasts so long doing “nothing.” At 5 pm tonight, my day was full of nothingness and I was ready for bed. Not really. But it felt like it.
I did enjoy watching Christian pop his Christmas corn on the cob in the microwave and seeing some of the popped kernels still attached to the cob. Juliana wanted to eat it right from the ear.
I enjoyed the spontaneous moments and a morning hike with friends. Jeff went to the store and planned and made dinner which made me very happy. He also did rounds of dishes today, so I didn’t feel like I was the only one cleaning up after everyone. The kids all helped with chores too, so this made the day at home much more enjoyable.
We had appetizers together and read and watched a family movie, among other things. I think it’s been good for our souls to not be over scheduled and committed and to just flow. We are actually relaxing! What a concept.
I hope you’re enjoying your holiday break too.
My sister and my niece came to visit us this weekend and this was my (welcome) sign. It was a play on words that included them with me to create the we and the plural of Here I Am. I loved this very thought from before they even arrived. I sat on my porch last night, waiting and anticipating their arrival with excitement.
I love being in their presence and when we are together, it doesn’t matter what we do. I feel comfortable and content and truly myself and I have no agenda except to soak in all their love and share it back with them, doing everything and nothing. Seriously.
These are the best kind of days. We just flowed in and out, together and with the kids, and alone and I couldn’t have asked for anything better. We were up early and shared coffee and breakfast. We took the kids where they needed to go. We rested and read and fed the kids and shopped. We watched Charlie’s soccer game and made friends. We cooked dinner together and cleaned up together. We laughed and teased each other and shared stories of our lives, the ones we don’t find the time to share over brief, interrupted phone calls and texts.
There’s no substitute for face to face time. I got to hug her and really see her and share in the joys of our kids playing together and loving one another and growing up together.
I am thankful that she chose to come visit (me) us and took the time to make love grow.
Here We Are.
This is what I’m doing tomorrow.
I tried today but it was too hot. Tomorrow I will celebrate Sunday with a day of rest, after we say our early morning goodbyes to Akie.
I am looking forward to a day of no expectations.
What will you do with your Sunday? Will you rest? Will you work?
Whatever you choose to do, I wish you peace and relaxation.