
The leaves are changing colors and falling to the ground. The air is getting crisper, even as the sun is shining. And the level of the sun is at a different angle, providing an afternoon glare that wasn’t there recently. Fall is in the air.
Today I felt homesick. It first felt like anxiety and then I felt sad and I didn’t know why. It took me a while to figure out what I was feeling when I had no reason to be sad. I was having a great day, went for a run, house was clean, kids were occupied and at a friend’s house, the sun was shining, and Jeff and I had some quiet time to do whatever we wanted. I think it was the free time and quiet time that gave me a moment to relax and feel that some things were different and missing. I had no one needing me and no problems to solve and quiet space that doesn’t happen often. And then I started to miss my routines and rituals and friends (Schalk-Lees) and our first house and our BBQ and the Stanford football games and blah blah blah. I think earlier in the day I was backing up old photos and Jeff was talking about the football game scores and my parents coming and then it all just me, that I miss all that.
After I realized it and shed a few tears, I was fine again. I’m happy to be here and appreciate the new friends and family we’ve connected with, and the experience we are having here. I think I’ve ben pretty busy these first two months and now that things are starting to settle, I can breathe again and am now aware of the changes that have occurred. I miss my normal routine and relationships back home. I think that’s normal too. And I’m excited for what this new season brings, scarves and all!
Hope y’all had a good weekend! And to those back in California, I miss you!!