I know I have nothing to complain about and that my worries really aren’t worries. But they are on my mind and make me anxious and rock my world a bit.
My baby is leaving for sleep away science camp in the morning. He laid out all his clothes and toiletries and personal items and walked through his checklist, checking things off as he found what he needed. I helped him to pack everything away, but mainly he did it all on his own. He’s growing up and I see it. I see him changing in front of my eyes and it makes me a little crazy. I know it’s a good thing and it’s really weird when you’re actually aware of the change happening as it’s happening. This rite of passage trip is a good thing. This rite of passage…yeah, I know, I know. Still anxious.
I know he has to go off with his classmates and sleep away from home, with “strangers.” He doesn’t find out who his bunkmates will be until he arrives. He’ll have to do things on his own and repack his bag and remember all of his belongings without my help. I know he can do it. But I kinda like looking after my little bird.
My nest will feel empty with him away. I like knowing that he is safe with me and that we are here for him, if he needs us, not that he ever really does. He’s pretty self sufficient, and tonight when he asked me to get him some water, I felt honored to help him and not irritated. He needed me.
He does need me of course, and I need him. He asked me to come snuggle on the couch tonight since it was his last night at home. He’s feeling it too. Of course, I stopped what I was doing and we snuggled and watched tv, under a cozy blanket. I am going to miss him.
At the same time as he is leaving, we are also receiving a Japanese exchange student for 12 days. I am excited and anxious about this too. I was nesting, getting her room ready and cleaning up the house and wondering what to bring her and what to buy for her and what to cook. I was even learning and practicing Japanese. We don’t speak any Japanese and I hope she speaks a few words of English. Otherwise, I am hoping that Google Translate will help us to understand one another. I am excited to have a guest and to share and learn from one another, despite our language barrier and my initial anxiety.
Life is good, and sometimes a little anxious!