Resilience and Permission to Fail

You’re ok.

Perfection is overrated.

You’re good enough.

I was just wondering if we are teaching our kids that it’s ok to make mistakes?  Are we giving our kids permission to fail and heaven forbid, not be the best?

There seems to be so much pressure on our society to be the best, to be the skinniest and the fittest, and the smartest and the fastest and the prettiest and the first and the whatever. What’s the race all about anyway? What about happiness and joy and just being ok with who we are right now, looking silly and maybe even sloppy? Is that even allowed any more?

I think we have to model for our kids how to not be perfect and I’m not trying to make excuses. I just want them to know that we’re ok too and I want us to be ok with being enough. We do our best and our best has to be good enough.

This is what I want to teach my kids. If they make a mistake, so what?  Acknowledge what went right. Acknowledge what didn’t work and fix it for next time. And then try again. It doesn’t have to be so complicated.  Keep learning and practicing this life thing and don’t be so hard on yourself. Repetition is good. And making mistakes means you’re trying and growing and learning. It’s ok. That’s what I want them to know. You have my permission to fail. Just learn from your mistakes so that life can carry on as smoothly as possible for yourself and everyone else around you, because our lives are really interconnected as much as we think we are on our own.

I want them to be ok right where they are, every day. I want them to make mistakes and I want them to figure out what’s important to them and to make the most of all their experiences and relationships – the good and bad and ugly.  I think this is the path to happiness. Accepting what is. Adapting and moving forward and liking themselves right now.

Carry on, resilient BeLoveRs. You’ve got this.

2 thoughts on “Resilience and Permission to Fail

  1. Okay, yes…in theory…I want all of this for my kids, too. BUT, I am a HUGE over achiever! I always want to try my hardest to do my best. I am totally okay with making mistakes and I’m such a klutz that lots of mistakes happen around me!! :} I can totally laugh it off and try again. So, I sorta model the “right” behavior – trying again, but…they definitely see that Mom WON’T rest until it is right, done, complete. Not sure if that is all good or bad…but it’s me for sure.

    • I think you’re a great example to your kids. You work hard, try hard and are ok making mistakes. And I love that you persevere until it’s right and do the work. This is so important to teach our kids. Your focus isn’t on instant gratification and you’re showing that hard work and focus is worth while. This I love. I want my kids to be ok to make mistakes and to not be hard on themselves when things go wrong. This doesn’t mean they can be slackers or not care. I just want them to try again and be ok with failure as they reach to succeed.

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